Additional Tags: RPF, First Time, Bandmates to Lovers, OTP

by shukyou
illustrated by TOFU+BEAST, Someone Else, The Winter Cynic, Riso, 2013, melanofly


you up?



Go to sleep.

you first

You’re the one who texted me.

im bored

Then go to sleep. You’ll be less bored if you go to sleep.

what if i have boring dreams??
what if im a dentist
what if i only wear white socks
what if my name is larry

That sounds like a you problem, buddy.
You have weird fears.

im coming over

No you’re not.
You’re staying in your own room and I’m staying in mine
And we’re getting some sleep.
You look like a zombie for tomorrow’s shoot and the studio’s suits yell at you, that’s also a you problem.

tell me a bedtime story

I don’t have any bedtime stories.

oh shit really
because i have one
hold on

If you have one, why did you ask me for one?

here click this link and pretend like youre reading it to me

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Bandom, The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Characters: Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: Pining, Unrequited Love, Masturbation, Angst
Language: English
Stats: Words: 2934    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 4    Kudos: 152    Bookmarks: 23    Hits: 892

when the summer sun hits your skin just right

When Cale’s nudes are leaked, Kellen can’t help but peek.

School has only been going on a week and already I’m Stressed™ so this is how I cope lmao…hope you guys like it! Something less angsty next time, I promise.

Okay, Kellen thought as he slipped his hand between his skin and the waistband of his underwear, but just this once.

It was embarrassing how hard he already was by the time he wrapped his fingers around his dick. With his other hand, he slowly scrolled through down the page with all the photos on it. Holy hell, there were a lot. Kellen could barely summon the energy to take a single selfie, and here Cale was with practically an entire portfolio of his nudes. It wasn’t even like he’d just had a single productive night — the lighting, background, and setup changed frequently. Even Cale’s own body marked the passage of time; as Kellen scrolled through, Cale’s hairstyle changed almost as rapidly as it did in real life, and bare patches on his arms and chest filled in with dark tattoos.

And he was hard in most of them. These weren’t artistic nudes, like something you might see in a museum. Cale’s dick, when it featured in the photos, looked very interested in being caught at its most flattering angle. It was a nice one too, slender and curved, and with a bulbous head. Exactly the kind of mushroom dick Kellen loved to get his mouth around.

It was bullshit to have your nudes leaked, definitely, to say nothing of being a crime. But even so, Kellen guessed he was starting to understand why Cale didn’t seem too upset about the security breach. He got off on showing off. Now he was being seen.

Kellen’s hand started to move faster as he got to a set where Cale was grinning into a mirror as he knelt and played with his newly pierced nipples. Oh, fuck, that was hot. He remembered when Cale had gotten those done, just after the Baby Dinosaurs tour. Kellen’s hand stroked his dick faster as he remembered how Cale had looked in the piercer’s chair, learning back and grinning even as the needle went in. The look on his face had been a beautiful, confusing mix of pain and pleasure that had stuck hard in Kellen’s memory. He even remembered the sounds Cale had made, the heavy little moans as the needle went through his skin. 

Kellen had to wonder if he could make Cale make those same noises himself, if he could close his teeth around the little barbells and give a gentle little tug. Would that make Cale’s dick hard like this? Could he get the same reaction as in the picture by replacing Cale’s hands there with his own?

The next picture made an involuntary gasp slip from Kellen’s throat. In it, Cale was on his stomach on a hotel bed somewhere, his shoulders down but his ass straight up in the air. Kellen bit his lip as he tried not to think too hard about how Cale was all but presenting himself to be mounted. In the shot, obviously taken at arm’s length, the closest thing to the lens was Cale’s face; he looked sleepy, probably stoned, and smug as fuck. Kellen wondered if having a dick up his ass would make Cale look more or less smug. Knowing Cale, probably more.

Kellen’s fingers squeezed his shaft, wondering what it would feel like to have Cale’s hands there instead. He’d spent a lot of time looking at Cale’s hands, watching Cale pluck the strings on his bass with fiery precision. He exhaled hard as he imagined Cale’s strong fingers holding his cock, playing Kellen like he was some kind of beautiful instrument, something worth touching with care and love.

Of course, Cale wasn’t like that. Cale wasn’t interested in Kellen. They were just friends — best friends, for nearly twelve years, since practically the same day Kellen had answered the handwritten ad for a singer tacked to the bulletin board in his college dorm. But that was all they were. Cale had no idea Kellen had been harboring feelings like that for as long as they’d known one another, and if Kellen had his way, Cale would never know.

Still, Kellen thought as he stared at images of Cale’s naked body, you could hardly blame him for wanting it so bad he could nearly taste Cale on his lips.

Wait, is that about ME?
Jerking off about YOU?
I can’t read that, it’s too weird.
People write about that?

oh buddy
people write about a lot of things
want to read more?


k here you go

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Bandom, The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods, Xan Martinez, Harris Robinson
Additional Tags: Hotel Room, Sharing a Bed, oh my god there was only one bed, First Time, Multiple Endings, it’s rude to have sex in a hotel room when someone else is asleep, not that I’m speaking from personal experience lol, in real life you should be more considerate about other people, fiction is just hot okay, dont mind me just brightening up the Ghost Boys tags
Language: English
Stats: Words: 7938    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 18    Kudos: 215    Bookmarks: 25    Hits: 2344

Five Times Cale Wound Up Sharing Kellen’s Bed (And One Time His Oblivious Ass Slept On The Floor)

A travel mix-up means there’s only one hotel room for our four Ghost Boys! When Cale and Kellen are forced to bunk together, will sparks fly? (You know they will, every time.)

Written for Bandomania 2017

“What if they hear us?” Kellen mouthed, the words so soft, Kellen wondered for a moment if Cale could hear them at all.

He could feel Cale’s grin against the back of his neck that cocky little smirk from a man who loved trouble. “What’s wrong?” Cale answered slyly as his hand slipped down the front of Kellen’s pajama pants, wrapping around Kellen’s cock. “Afraid they’ll be jealous?”

Actually, Kellen was afraid of a lot of other things — including how mad Harris and Xan would be about it. Not that he thought they were homophobic, of course they weren’t, but there was still a big difference between supporting gay people and being cool with your two friends hooking up in the hotel bed right next to yours. But it was difficult to worry about little things like that when he was so hard he could barely breathe. He bit his lip to keep from whimpering as Cale’s strong bassist’s fingers took Kellen’s shaft firmly in hand. His cock was leaking precome at a steady stream, down the side of his head and all over Cale’s fingers.

Cale shifted a little, just slightly, so that his own cock rested right in the cleft of Kellen’s ass — and oh, he was hard too, which made Kellen’s head swim. He was responsible for that! He had made Cale Garnier hard!

Okay, maybe that wasn’t such a big accomplishment. Not to slut-shame, but Cale did hook up with a lot of people — mostly women, but sometimes men too when he thought they could be discreet about it. Still, how long had Kellen waned to be one of those hookups? How many nights had he jerked himself off thinking about what it would be like to feel Cale’s body next to his?

Now he knew. And his body liked it.

Cale rubbed the pad of his thumb right over the head of Kellen’s cock. “I like your dick,” he murmured, bringing his lips right up to Kellen’s ear. “It feels good. I want to taste it. Will you let me taste it? Get my mouth all around it and suck you dry?”

Turn down a blowjob from Cale Garnier? Kellen would’ve had to be dead first. He nodded and caught his lips together between his teeth. Fuck, Cale had such a beautiful mouth, even if he spent most of his time saying stupid shit. How many times before had Kellen wanted to shut him up by sticking some object in there? Surprise, surprise, he had an even better option on hand.

Cale’s hand felt like fire against Kellen’s shaft. Kellen couldn’t remember having been so hard before in his life. “And will you let me fuck you?” Cale whispered, grinning as Kellen’s cock strained in his hand at the words. “Oh shit, you like that. You want my cock in you, don’t you?”

There was no point in lying now, not when every muscle in his body was giving away how desperately he wanted Cale to just climb on top of him and fuck him into the squeaky hotel mattress. Damn the fact that Harris and Xan were right by. Hell, maybe they could even watch and jerk off over the free show. These were stupid thoughts and Kellen didn’t care. He was so horny he would have agreed to anything right then. Anything if it meant Cale would just keep jerking him off.

With a quiet groan, Cale pressed his hips more firmly to Kellen’s plump behind. This looked it might be the miraculous thing that got all the gossip sites to stop talking about his weight, if Cale got off on Kellen having a fat ass. “Oh yeah, right there. I’m going to fuck you good. God, I’ve wanted my dick in that for so long.”

Kellen’s eyes went wide. “Really?” he whispered.

Cale nodded and stroked Kellen faster, letting the copious precome from Kellen’s dick lubricate his stroking. “Can you be quiet?” he murmured, his lips so close to the curve of Kellen’s ear that every word was a brush of Cale’s lips.

Kellen had to be honest. “I don’t know.” His whole body was trembling. His heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest.

Cale’s mouth was close enough that Kellen could feel Cale’s grin. “Guess we’re going to find out.” And in a move that both terrified and thrilled Kellen at once, Cale disappeared beneath the hotel sheets.

That’s creative, I guess.
You know Xan would murder you if you interrupted his beauty sleep.

dont you mean murder US?

No, he would hold you responsible.

you think its right? theyd want to come watch?

WTF no!
And don’t even joke about it.
Don’t do something like call the next hotel and cancel three of our rooms or pull some shit like that.
This is your weird fiction thing, not real life.

oh I know what your problem is
you want to be the top

Promise me you’re NOT going to prank me like this.
Cale? Are you listening?

ok ok my bad try this one

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Bandom, The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Wood
Additional Tags: Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Idiots to Lovers, fake boyfriends to real boyfriends, publicity stunt, PDA
Language: English
Series: Previous Work • Part 9 of the Not Your Little Boyfriend series
Stats: Words: 8923    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 52    Kudos: 259    Bookmarks: 12    Hits: 19503

Starlight Kisses and Champagne for Breakfast

The studio has told the Ghost Boys it’s time to end the rumors about them dating. But what will happen when they’re scheduled to present together at the VMAs?

Finally! I promised I’d get here and I did! Thank you all for reading! I hope this happy ending was worth it!

Title is from “Exit to Chartres” by the Dooley Brown Phenomenon. Enjoy!

The ecstatic shrieks of the crowd rang so loud in his ears that Kellen couldn’t even hear the PAs as they shuffled him around backstage and ordered him to various places. The phone in his jacket pocket was blowing up; he could feel it buzzing like a living thing against his chest. The whole world was spinning and there were people everywhere and the only real thing was the way Cale’s hand felt in his. So Kellen held on tight and let himself be led through the chaos, trusting that Cale would know where they were going. As long as he had Cale, everything would be all right.

That was a strange thing to think, wasn’t it? Just a few months ago, he had been so uncomfortable touching Cale in public in any even vaguely suggestive way. Now that touch was the only thing Kellen could trust.

All the monitors backstage seemed to be replaying their kiss from every possible angle — and Kellen could see, wow, it hadn’t been a polite smooch or a comedic makeout. Cale had kissed him in front of all those cameras with the force of a man returning from war, and Kellen had kissed him back with the same passionate intensity. His heart raced every time he saw it again. That kiss was long past joking. Cale had meant it.

Well, he guessed the fake rumors were finally true.

As they turned down toward the hall that would lead them to the press, Cale jerked Kellen aside. Kellen had barely half a second to react before he found himself inside a half-used storage room filled with boxes and a single couch. Kellen was pushed down onto that couch, and a second later, he had a lap full of Cale. “That was so fucking hot,” Cale moaned as he went straught for the buttons of Kellen’s pants — at least, as much as he apparently went straight for anything these days. “Fuck, I want you so bad.”

“But you said–” Kellen sputtered, grabbing Cale’s hips and holding on for dear life.

“To get them off our backs.” Cale laughed as he undid his own belt. “They don’t get to tell me what I do with my boyfriend.”

Hearing Cale say boyfriend just between them — not a publicity stunt, not something to promote engagement or drive up clicks, but for Kellen’s ears alone — made Kellen’s whole head spin. “Cale,” Kellen said, loving the weight of the name in his mouth. His boyfriend’s name.

Cale pulled back and grinned at Kellen. “Yes?” he asked, the picture of feigned innocence.

Kellen swallowed. “Don’t … don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

With a laugh, Cale wriggled forward in Kellen’s lap until the bulges of their half-clothed erections rubbed up against one another. Kellen practically saw stars. “Tell me I don’t mean this,” Cale challenged him.

Another series of phone buzzes sprouted from under Kellen’s jacket. “They’re looking for us,” Kellen managed.

“I know.” Cale’s manic grin spread even wider. He raked his fingers back through his hair, slicking it sweatily into place. “They’re going to ask a lot of questions. And I want to answer them all with your come inside me.”

Fortunately for Kellen, Cale seemed to have everything in hand, because after hearing Cale say something like that, Kellen wasn’t sure how he was expected to be able to move. Cale moved like an expert, though, climbing off Kellen’s lap just long enough to strip from the waist down. He pulled a little packet from his jacket and tore it open with his teeth. Kellen moaned as Cale poured the clear, cold lube all over his cock, then barely had time to catch his breath before Cale was back in his lap. “Are you sure?” Kellen gasped. This was the point of no return for a lot of things.

Cale nodded eagerly as he slipped his hips forward, then lowered his hips slowly onto Kellen’s cock. “Oh, fuck me,” Cale gasped, clinging to Kellen’s shoulders for balance. “Fuck, why didn’t you tell me your cock was this big?”

Kellen wanted to say that he was of completely average dimensions, and regardless, dick sizes hadn’t exactly been a subject they’d broached before. But he couldn’t talk. All the air had rushed out of his lungs at the feeling of slipping raw into Cale’s tight body. Kellen was no virgin, but he found himself having to take steadying breaths so he didn’t shoot his load right there and end this all too early.

He wanted this to last forever. The way Cale felt around him, letting Kellen inside him? Kellen knew he’d never want anything else for the rest of his life.

“Call me your boyfriend again,” Kellen whispered, looking up at Cale with pleading eyes. Was that too pathetic? He hoped it wasn’t too pathetic. He just wanted to hear the word from Cale’s lips and know that it was true.

Cale just smirked and looked right back down at Kellen. With curls of his hair falling down into his face, he looked almost like he did during one of their shows — except even wilder now, and for a much more intimate audience. “My boyfriend,” Cale purred breathlessly, his words setting Kellen’s nerves alight, “fucks me so good, I don’t know how I’m ever going to get enough.”

That was all Kellen needed. He grabbed Cale’s hips and started to bounce Cale as much as the rickety old sofa would allow. Cale’s eyes all but rolled back in his head, egging Kellen on even more. If Cale really wanted to address the press about their show-stopping onstage kiss while secretly dripping with come — well, that was the least his boyfriend could give him, wasn’t it?

That is obviously written by someone who doesn’t know how the music industry works.
Or public relations

yeah but
wouldnt it be great if it DID

So why do people write about you and me like this?

i guess theyre romantics

That’s not the word I would have used.

dreaming about our true love
imagining what we get up to behind the scenes
but dont feel too special kello
they do it about EVERYBODY

There are other stories like this?
About people we know?

yeah and sometimes with us
hold on
okay here it is

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Bandom, The Ghosts of Saturday Night, Wherever Whenever Whatever
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Darius McKay, Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods, Kellen Woods/Jennifer Millican
Characters: Cale Garnier, Darius McKay, Jennifer Millican, Colby Sanchez, Atticus Vee (Mentioned), Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, not actually cheating but it feels like cheating, Dirty Talk, slightly misogynistic dirty talk, Angst, Pining, bisexual Darius, bicurious Kellen, big slut Cale, perfect Jenn who deserves better than all of them put together, the rest of the band doesn’t know what the fuck, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Series: Previous Work • Part 2 of the The Best Laid Plans series • Next Work
Stats: Words: 7193    Chapters: 5/5    Comments: 11    Kudos: 31    Bookmarks: 3    Hits: 741

Plan D

Kellen’s got a girlfriend, his life is going great, so he shouldn’t care what his best friend does. Or who his best friend does. Right?

for AmberWatchtower

This chapter’s dedicated to my girlfriend, who’s the real WWW fan. She’s writing the sequel where Darius and Jennifer hook up, I’ll link to it here when she’s done!

If you like it, please comment!
If you have friendly critique, please comment.
If all you want to do is hate, GTFO BC I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT thank you

He should leave. He knew he should leave. Kellen had no business doing anything but leaving.

He stayed absolutely still, praying that the hallway was dark enough to cover his presence. He knew that the two people on the bed hadn’t noticed him, because if they had noticed him, there was absolutely no way they’d still be doing what they were doing.

What they were doing was sex, and very athletic sex, at that. They were both completely naked, and the man on top was pumping as hard as he could. Every time he thrust his hips, Kellen could see the muscles in his back ripple, and the headboard thudded against the wall. The man on top had a great ass, which fit the rest of his toned, athletic body. In the dim light from the window, his skin practically glowed.

The man on the bottom … well, there was no pretending it wasn’t Cale. Even though Kellen couldn’t see his face — or any part of him, really, that wasn’t his legs wrapped around the man on top’s waist and his hands gripping the headboard — he couldn’t have mistaken Cale’s voice for anything. Even if Kellen had never before heard that voice say the things it was saying now.

“Fuck my ass,” Cale gasped as he crossed his ankles tighter one over the other. “Fuck me like a bitch.”

“This not enough for you?” laughed the man on top — and as long as Kellen wasn’t feigning ignorance, yeah, that was Darius. There had been rumors about him for years, sure, but there were rumors about all of them. Kellen just had never expected to have those rumors confirmed by seeing Darius balls-deep in Kellen’s…

Bandmate? Roommate? Best friend? What was Cale to him, anyway?

Despite himself, Kellen felt his cock growing hard. He cursed it for being a traitor, but it kept on going until he was so hard he ached. He pressed his body a little closer to the corner of the wall that half-hid him from sight, hoping that the pressure would help alleviate his needy urges. It backfired and only made him want more. Now he wanted to be the one in there on top of Cale, kneeling between Cale’s thighs as Cale egged him on by saying stupid shit that had no business being so fucking hot.

Wait, no, that wasn’t what he wanted at all. He had a girlfriend. A really hot girlfriend who was amazing in bed. Besides, he was straight. Well, he was mostly straight. The occasional stray thoughts didn’t count, he’d decided that years ago.

But oh boy, was it harder to keep those stray thoughts away when he was staring directly at Cale’s ass as Darius’ thick cock pounded away at it.

Cale let go of the headboard with one of his hands and used it to get a handful of Darius’ thick hair. “Fuck me like you mean it,” he growled, his voice barely audible to Kellen over the other noises of their bodies together. “Fuck me like I deserve it.”

Transfixed, Kellen stood still as a statue while Darius proceeded to pound Cale with a force that looked and sounded like it must have hurt, except that every noise from Cale was eager encouragement.

And then it was over. With a heavy grunt, Darius pressed hard up against Cale’s body and shook for a moment, then collapsed, panting. Cale let go as well, melting back into the bed with a satisfied sigh. For a moment, they lay there, Cale’s hand tracing the curves of Darius’ bare back. Then Darius got up and tossed the condom into the trash basket by the bed, before sitting back down on the edge of the mattress. 

“I can fuck you as hard as I can,” said Darius with a smile, giving Cale’s ass a playful smack. “And I will. I love it. But you know it’s never going to be enough so long as what you really want is him.”

Wait, him? Kellen frowned. Who was Darius talking about?

With a sigh, Cale rolled over onto his back and reached up to touch Darius’ chest tenderly. “Yeah, I know.” Cale sat up and leaned in to kiss him. “But that’s never going to happen. And you’re never going to get her, either. So don’t the two of us deserve a little consolation-prize sex? Trophies for best runners-up?”

Before he could hear any more, Kellen slipped away. This was too much to process, especially when he was so hard he could barely walk, much less think. Who had the two of them been talking about?

It couldn’t be … could it?


i agree with the author
hes got to be a beast in bed

I think that’s beside the point.
And anyway, since when are you fantasizing about Darius?

hes hot
dont know what to tell you
what dont you think about it?

Not really, no.

be honest


when he does the body glitter thing tho
and the leather pants

Maybe a little


Shut up.
You were the one cheating on me with him!

okay so if you read the first chapter you see its not cheating on you
you and jenn are together so youre technically cheating on her by getting jealous
you have no business telling me where i can stick my dick if youre dating jenn

Oh god there are more chapters?
People really think my life is a lot more interesting than it is.
Or at least that I have a lot more free time than I do.

do you think youd have more time if you were


you know one of those coffee guys

Yes, I know what a barista is.

okay good because ngl this doesnt make a lot of sense if you dont

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe – Coffeeshop, Alternate Universe – Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe – No Band, Angst, Slow Burn, Pining, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Coming Out, Top Cale Garnier, Bottom Kellen Woods, LBGTQ Character, Happy Ending, Cale Is The Barista, Kellen Is The Customer Who Needs His Morning Coffee, Romance
Language: English
Collections: The Baristas of Saturday Night
Stats: Words: 10532    Chapters: 6/?    Comments: 23    Kudos: 198    Bookmarks: 4    Hits: 2154

Would you pick up the pieces my heart left behind?


“What can I get you, handsome?”

Kellen stared back at the man on the other side of the counter, who greeted him with a cheeky grin. The barista had piercings and tattoos that made it clear he wasn’t from around there. Guys like that were the type who flirted with anything on legs, weren’t they? He couldn’t have meant it. Not in a small town like this, where everyone knew everyone’s business and no one approved of business like that.

“And if you can wait five minutes for it to be ready, I can go on break and drink it with you.”

[In which Kellen is having a very bad day, tries out the new independent coffee shop that opened down the block from his office, and has his whole life changed by meeting the sexy and charming openly gay barista on duty that afternoon.]

Kellen could feel the blush start to rise in his cheeks. He glanced around them, but clearly none of the other patrons on that busy afternoon had heard; the other tables were just a little too far away, and the acoustic guitar through the cafe speakers wrangled most specific noises into a general murmur. “Don’t tease,” Kellen muttered into his latte.

“Who’s teasing?” asked Cale, his smile bright. He leaned one elbow on the table and cupped his hand in his cheek, staring at Kellen with dreamy, undisguised adoration. “If you’d let me, I’d bend you over the table right now.”

That nearly had Kellen choking to death on his coffee, and only his good sense to put the mug down when Cale started talking had saved him from that. “That is inappropriate,” Kellen managed, clearing his throat a few more times than was strictly necessary. He didn’t even know why he was protesting. Who was he kidding? The kiss the other night had proven Kellen’s interest beyond a shadow of a doubt. He could never go back to pretending that he didn’t feel like his whole heart was on fire every time he was anywhere near Cale.

Cale, true to himself as ever, just shrugged and laughed a little. “You’ve never been with another man before, have you?”

Kellen hoped like hell no one looked over just then, because he couldn’t quite sink far enough into the crewneck of his sweater to hide that his cheeks were all but purple. Staring at his coffee, he shook his head.

Cale didn’t laugh at that, though. Instead, he took his free hand and ran it along the condensation on the side of his iced tea, then drew a heart on the surface of their small shared table. “Don’t worry. I’ll take it nice and slow. I’ll make you feel so good. I could start out with sucking you. Do you think you’d like that? We wouldn’t even have to leave the building. Back there behind the counter, you can’t even see the top of my head when I’m on my knees.”

How did Cale just … talk about things like this? There were people sitting right there, people who would probably never speak to Kellen again if they knew he was gay. But Cale just said it, the same way he just wore a rainbow pin on his apron, like it was a thing people could just do and not have it be the end of the world.

“I really want to suck you off,” Cale continued, leaning in a bit closer. “I’ve been thinking about it since you walked in the door. I bet you have an amazing dick. Just the right size, not too long, just good and fat. I can just imagine it on my tongue, heavy and warm. You like thinking about that?”

God, Kellen hoped his sweater was long enough to cover the evidence of just how much he liked thinking about that. He bit his lower lip until it hurt, then nodded.

That beautiful smile of Cale’s just widened at Kellen’s admission. “Good. Because sometimes I can’t concentrate when you’re in here, because I’m too busy thinking about the little noises you’d made while I swallowed your dick. You’re going to be shy at first, and that’s fine. I just have to suck you good enough so that eventually you can’t help grabbing my hair and screaming my name and begging me to fuck you.”

“How–” Kellen cleared his throat and took a long, deep breath, feeling the coffee-scented air fill his lungs before he pushed it out again. “How can you just say things like that? Like they don’t mean anything?”

“Oh no,” Cale said, his expression suddenly serious. His free hand rested on the table, close enough that he could have grabbed Kellen’s with no effort. Kellen knew it was only for his own sake that Cale refrained. “I can say it because it means everything. Sometimes I want you so bad I can’t breathe. I’m going to be so good to you. The second you let me touch you, baby, I’ll give you the ride of your life. All of it, not just the sex. I’ll make you come buckets and then make you coffee just the way you like it the next morning. And every morning after, as long as you’ll have me. Because I, Cale Garnier, love you, Kellen Woods.”

Kellen pressed his lips together hard, aware that he was fighting a losing battle to keep all his emotions from showing on his face. “How can you love a mess like me, though?” he asked softly, feeling his cheeks burn.

Cale’s grin was like the sun bursting out from behind the clouds. “It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

Don’t quit the band and become a barista.

no see
check the tags
the idea is
i never WAS in the band
i was always as you see me there
a barista

So why are they writing about us if there’s not a band?

because id make a sexy ass barista

I don’t get it.
You’re still you, but you’re not you?

thats basically it

And instead of playing bass, you’re a barista.


Nope, still don’t get it.

not much to get
like on star trek where all the characters go to the holodeck
youre still jean luc picard even when youre robin hood
also barista is a funny word
barista barista

So it’s a story about us but we’re playing someone else


Who just happens to be basically us
That actually makes a weird amount of sense.

also HA
i WAS paying attention all those times you made me watch with you

Okay, okay.
I retroactively withdraw my complaints.

oh yeah on the star trek theme
i think youll like this one

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Major Character Death
Category: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Fandom: Bandom, Big in Japan (band), Camp Kill, The Dooley Brown Phenomenon, The Ghosts of Saturday Night, Wherever Whenever Whatever
Relationships: Angi Rey/original character, Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods, Dooley Brown/Kellen Woods/Megyyn Singh, Harris Robinson/Portia Lin, Jason Kingston/Nathan Vaughn, Joe Bo/Mona Tabitabai, Pen Jackson/original male character
Characters: Mona Tabitabai, Darius McKay, Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods, Xan Martinez, Harris Robinson, Dooley Brown, Portia Lin, Pen Jackson, Joe Bo, Megyyn Singh, Nathan Vaughn, Jason Kingston, Atticus Vee, Luna Karipalidos, Angi Rey
Additional Tags: Cyberpunk, Futuristic Setting, Dystopian Setting, Bandom, Strap-Ons, Dirty Talk, Pegging, Wire Play, Public Sex, Sex Work, Violence, Angst, Character Death, Abusive Relationships, Existential Dread
Language: English
Series: ← Previous Work • Part 9 of the Anthropocene Blacks and Blues series • Next Work
Stats: Words: 23,460    Chapters: 8/8    Comments: 80    Kudos: 213    Bookmarks: 20    Hits: 4380

Better Faster Stronger Harder Deeper
poprocketpussytreats, TOFU+BEAST

so okay here’s what you missed last time: mona and joe are still trying to have a child but the agency has rejected mona’s request for a fertility upgrade, angi and haddad are willing to give them an entry into the black market but first they need to pony up the cash, jason is still looking for nathan after the hovership crash, megyyn and dooley have headed off to stockholm leaving kellen behind and lonely, and that’s what you missed last time!! you’re all caught up now!!!

sorry it took like 2+ months to update but this fic is like my child, writing is literally keeping me alive so I want it to be perfect, I rewrote this like 4 times to get it all right… plus calellen? kelle? (lol why do all the ship names for them suck) is like the air I breathe, those two are ~SO IN LOVE~ you can see it every time they’re on stage together! and now we FINALLY get to dig into that!

and yeah the end of the last chapter gets R O U G H …. sorry……but just remember nobody dies in the future!

“What’s your taste, mister?” asked Cale, looking Kellen up and down. “I got all the newest accessories.” 

Kellen eyed him up and down cautiously. Cale was such rough trade, he didn’t look like he had the newest anything. Hell, he looked younger than most of the visible ports in his body did. The wires snaked up and down his arms like veins, only where blood would have run red, they were every color of the rainbow, bright against his pale brown skin.

“How old are you, kid?” asked Kellen, exhaling smoke from his e-cigarette into the air.

Cale shrugged. “Old enough to be good.” He had the kind of look where he could have been fourteen or forty, depending on the light and how much of his hair he combed over his face. “Plug in and try me.”

Kellen just laughed at that. The city night wasn’t so cold, but a dense fog had rolled in around sunset, meaning that Kellen could see wisps of their words as vapor on the air. Above their heads, the upper floors of the surrounding buildings disappeared into a cloud of mist and hazy lights. “And what if I told you I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy?”

The surprise on Cale’s face was momentary, but Kellen didn’t miss a trick. “So you like skin on skin?” asked Cale with an incredulous little smirk screwing up the corner of his pretty little mouth. “Pretty kinky for an old man.”

Kellen didn’t bother pointing out that he was likely even a little younger than the whore in front of him. He had a different kind of face, though, the one where he’d looked fifty since he was about twelve, and expected to continue right on until his face caught up with his age. That was, if he lived that long. PI work didn’t exactly give a body a long shelf life. “Maybe,” Kellen agreed after a minute. “But I’m paying. So what do you say?”

That was how they wound up back behind the building, between a fence and a dumpster, with Cale pressed up against the wall, his pants down around his ankles and his perfect bubble butt held high in the air. High enough for Kellen to shove his cock into it, in fact, and oh, Cale was good. You couldn’t augment or simulate that — that was 100% pure perfect hot little ass from a little slut who loved getting fucked.

And Cale did love it, Kellen was sure about that. He’d had his dick in a number of whores in his time, and he knew what a lackluster reception sounded like. This wasn’t it. Cale braced himself against the brickwork, fingers splayed, then pushed back against Kellen’s body, taking Kellen’s cock as deep as he could. “Your dick is so good,” Cale moaned as Kellen pressed his body up against the wall. “Oh fuck, give me that cock, old man.”

With a mouth like that, they were in danger of being heard by passers-by, but Kellen only cared about that as much as it was fun to care. “Little brat,” Kellen growled affectionately, grabbing a fistful of Cale’s wild hair. “Someone ought to shut you up.”

“Yeah?” teased Cale, wriggling his ass. “What are you going to do about it?”

The taunt was one aimed at a cybernetic response: Kellen could have plugged into Cale’s systems and fought him for a temporary override of his vocal center, making him say nothing until at least one of them had come. Instead, Kellen took the low-tech route and jammed his fingers into Cale’s mouth. Cale’s response was immediate, biting down with just enough teeth to let Kellen know that this was only happening with Cale’s permission. Such a fucking brat.

But like most brats Kellen had known, Cale was a hell of a fuck. Even skin to skin. Hell, especially skin to skin, the raw feeling of it intoxicating. All around them, the noises of the city wrapped them up like the fog, blanketing them until there might as well have been no one else in the world but the two of them, their bodies moving together in time, in a dirty alley on the edge of midnight.

How long does this go on???

a while
honestly i stopped paying attention around part 30 something
when you get turned into a robot
did you get to the part where dooley has like three cyberdicks tho?

I think I skimmed that chapter.

you should go back for it
its pretty good

I’ll take your word for it.
I guess I just don’t think of myself as the Blade Runner type.
I mean I don’t exactly scream “cybercop”

cyber private detective
totally different

Oh, yeah, totally different.
So who dies at the end of chapter eight?

youll just have to read it yourself to find out lil buddy


i know you hate spoilers

Is there a lot like this?

what do you mean
crossovers or scifi?

Both, I guess.
But I was thinking science fiction.

the weird stuff is usually less tech
more supernatural

Like magic?

or you know
shits just weird
and you go with it
like this

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M, Other
Fandom: Bandom, The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: fem Cale Garnier, Alternate Universe – Gender Changes, Woke Up A Girl, First Time, Virginity, sort of, Smut, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Spanking, Comedy
Language: English
Stats: Words: 3,519    Chapters: 1/?    Comments: 17    Kudos: 265    Bookmarks: 32    Hits: 1253

Rainbow Dazes (or, Never Never Have We Ever)
CannibalAngle, Someone Else

When Cale wakes up and finds out he’s suddenly become a girl, he knows exactly who he needs to go bother with this knowledge. Pure filth, not sorry.

(See the end of the work for notes.)

All Kellen could really do was sit back as Cale got himself — herself? — right on top of Kellen’s lap. “What, um,” Kellen stammered, trying to process way too many things at once, “so, do you — I mean, like, what pronouns are you using now?”

Cale laughed at that, in only the way that Cale could manage to laugh at Kellen while also sitting less than an inch above his dick. “Feeling kinda girly, I dunno,” Cale said, grabbing her — probably her, sure, why not — breasts again and squeezing her puffy nipples between her fingers. Kellen had always had a real thing for all of Cale’s tattoos, but there was just something about the way those bat wings now looked curved around two luscious breasts. “I think I’m leaning into it.”

Was Kellen fixating on that to distract himself from the way his bandmate and best friend’s unexpected pussy was now rubbing up against the head of his cock? Hell yes he was, and he wasn’t that ashamed to admit it. His eyes went wide as he slumped back against the pillows, letting Cale wriggle on top of him. This was not how he had expected his Tuesday would go at all.

But at least Cale looked happy. More than that, Cale looked like she was having the time of her life with this new body. Would Kellen have been okay with it if he’d been the one who’d magically woken up this way? Honestly, probably not.

Cale, though, had always been way more flexible about things like gender. Even back before they’d really gotten going with the band, Cale had always worn eyeliner and nail polish, and even sometimes lipstick, and liked to lounge around in skirts. So it made sense that he’d roll with this, at least to some degree. It made a little less sense that she was currently wriggling her ass right down, taking Kellen’s cock inside of her. She braced her hands against Kellen’s chest and sighed happily. “Be gentle with me,” Cale purred, her dark hair falling across her eyes, “I’m a virgin.”

Now that was the funniest thing Cale had said since she’d walked through the front door of Kellen’s apartment that morning. Cale Garnier was the least virginal person who had ever existed. The endless parade of hookups Cale went through was proof enough of that, attractive people of basically every kind imaginable. Not that Kellen had any room to throw stones here — he wasn’t a prude, and he’d even had his own share of one-night stands. However, in all the years they’d known one another, if Kellen had learned one thing about Cale, it was that if Cale could be having sex right at that moment, Cale would be having sex.

Then again, this was her first time as a girl. Kellen hadn’t even thought about that, how that might be different — or how the first person Cale had come to, without hesitation, had been Kellen. He didn’t have much time to think about it, though, because Cale’s pussy was slowly swallowing up Kellen’s cock, and that made it hard to concentrate on anything that wasn’t the place their bodies joined. Kellen panted a little and gripped the sheets, trying to keep it together.

Cale, however, looked like she was having far more fun coming apart. “Fuck, this is a completely different feeling,” she moaned as her hips came to rest against Kellen’s. He was now buried inside her, deep as he could go. “God, you feel big like this. Let me just … hold still a minute, I need to catch my breath.”

Kellen wasn’t going anywhere. He ran his hands up the curves of her hips, feeling the soft lines of her body as she settled herself on top of him. “Are you — is this good?” he asked, aware that his voice was barely air.

Looking down at him, Cale smiled and nodded — but there was something softer about her expressions now, something a little more vulnerable and a lot more trusting. She took a deep breath, and as she exhaled, she wriggled her body seductively, making Kellen’s cock jerk inside her. “I’m glad it’s you,” Cale whispered, lifting her hand to brush the curve of Kellen’s jaw. “It’s always been you.” And before Kellen could ask what she meant by that, Cale began to ride him hard.

Nope, nope, I call bullshit on that one

what?? why?

Because if you suddenly woke up with tits
You’d be too busy playing with them yourself to get me to do anything about them.

lol I see your point.
then okay, try this

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/F
Fandom: Bandom, The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: Femslash, Genderswap, Genderflop, Alternate Universe – Always a Different Sex, Fem!Cale, Fem!Kel, Gender or Sex Swap, Established Relationship, Harold they’re lesbians
Language: English
Collection: The Girls of Saturday Night
Stats: Words: 4,823    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 3    Kudos: 46    Bookmarks: 3    Hits: 958

because you see something in me

“You look gorgeous,” Cayla said.

“Do not,” Kellie answered with a sigh.

Cayla put her hand on her girlfriend’s cheek. “Yes, you do. You always do.”

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction about characters who resemble real people, but it is only based on existing people. This is only for fun and because we love it! Please don’t harass the real people about shipping!

“You’re going to mess up your makeup,” Kellie gasped as Cayla pushed her back up against the wall of the dressing room.

“So?” Cayla slipped her hand down the front of Kellie’s panties, making Kellie sigh. The hard buds of Kellie’s nipples were visible through her bra and her shirt and the sweater-vest she’d pulled over it all for a dapper look. That kind of wear was too hot for a whole concert, but for filming a single song, it would do.

That was, if they actually made it to the stage. That was looking less likely all the time, as Cayla’s clever fingers parted the folds of Kellie’s dripping pussy. “So then you’ll have to do it again,” Kellie pointed out breathlessly. She splayed her hands flat against the wall to keep from falling over. God, Cayla knew just how to touch her to make her lose her mind. “And that’ll take time.”

“So we’ll be fashionably late,” Cayla murmured as she sucked the soft lobe of Kellie’s ear.

Kellie couldn’t help laughing. “The Live in Saturday Night Live means there’s no such thing as late,” she pointed out. “There’s on time or nothing.”

Cayla seemed completely unbothered by this reality as she pressed her fingers toward the entrance to Kellie’s cunt. Cayla had a musician’s strong hands combined with a bassist’s short manicure, which meant she was basically always ready to finger-fuck Kellie at a moment’s notice. As she was more than willing to demonstrate at the slightest provocation. Like, say, now.

As she leaned against Kellie, Cayla’s breasts pressed up against Kellie’s body. They were smaller than Kellie’s, because Cayla was angular and lithe where Kellie was soft and curvy, and Cayla had put little silver barbells through each nipple. Kellie wanted to flick her tongue over that skin-warm metal and hear Cayla moan. She wanted to let her mouth roam over the colorful tattoos that blossomed like gardens across Cayla’s smooth skin. She wanted to feel more of Cayla inside her, as much of her as would fit. It would never be enough, not for Kellie.

A knock on the door startled them both into a frozen position. Had Cayla locked the door? Kellie hoped like hell she had. “Ten minutes, ladies,” came the male PA’s voice from the other side.

“We’ll be ready!” promised Cayla, who somehow managed not to sound like she was knuckles-deep in her girlfriend. She moved her hand forward and pressed her thumb against the bud of Kellie’s clit, then rubbed at the sensitive skin there. “So you can go out there,” Cayla continued, dropping her voice low again, “all needy and keyed up and dripping into your panties every time you move. Or you can go out there shaking and soft because I just made you come all over my fingers. So which one is it going to be?”

Some choice that was. Either way, Kellie would be trembling from the force of Cayla’s hands on her, and every word of every song would be to Cayla and Cayla alone.

Not that the experience of being the band’s frontwoman was ever anything else. From the moment she’d picked up the mic — at Cayla’s insistence, of course, because Kellie was completely weak to anything Cayla asked her to do — Kellie had never meant a word she’d sung about anyone else. No matter what pronouns the song used, Cayla’s face was the one she saw every time she closed her eyes.

“I love you,” Cayla purred against her ear, just far enough away from Kellie’s skin that she didn’t so much as smudge her lipstick. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I love you so much.”

The words seemed ridiculous from Cayla, who was the most objectively attractive person Kellie had ever seen in her life. But when Cayla said it, she did it with such conviction that Kellie had no choice but to believe it was all true. Kellie wanted to say that she loved Cayla too, but she didn’t have the breath for it, or even the confidence that she could make words when she was like this. It didn’t matter, though, because Cayla knew. If there was one thing Kellie had no doubts about in her whole life, it was that Cayla knew that the feeling was mutual.

“And when this is all done,” Cayla continued with a chuckle as she worked her fingers deep inside of Kellie, opening her up like a flower under the warm summer sun, “I am going to strip you naked, plop you in a hot bath, and eat that pretty pink pussy of yours out until you see stars.” 

Why are people really into making us girls?

youd make a cute girl

I disagree
I don’t particularly make a cute anything.

come on thats not true

It’s fine. No one cares, anyway.
I’m not like Darius in his body glitter or you taking your shirt off every three minutes.
Nobody’s looking at me.

lots of people are looking at you
then they come back home to write filthy stories about how hot you are
youre just like your girl self
no confidence

Well, maybe if I were like what these people think I’m like.

you are tho

I’m really not.
You know me better than anyone and you know I’m not.

yeah i know you better than anyone
thats why i know you are
here read this one

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M, Other
Fandom: Bandom, The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Transgender, Transboy, Trans Character, transmasc Kellen, TRANS KELLEN IS A THING AND I WILL FIGHT FOR IT,  Shyness, Gender Euphoria, mention of breeding kink, Oral Sex, Missionary, Coming Inside, Creampie, Service Kink, they’re so in love
Language: English
Stats: Words: 6,294    Chapters: 1/?    Comments: 81    Kudos: 82    Bookmarks: 5    Hits: 1082

Would you know me if you saw me standing rain-soaked at your window?
Coder_Micronesia, thewintercynic

Could you tell if someone else was hiding out inside my shell?
I’ve got pieces of my heart here, I’ve lost track of where they all fit
Light the fuse and shove it in my mouth, let’s blow this town to hell

For CarolinaBlueBalls.

Will there be part 2? I don’t know! School is sucking my life away.

I set this in Atlanta because I’m from Atlanta so this counts as self care.

Kellen couldn’t bear to look. For all the things they’d shared together in the decade they’d been in the band together, this was different. If Cale was going to reject him, that would be hard enough to handle. Kellen couldn’t look him in the eye while he did it.

Instead, Kellen heard a soft thud that caught his attention so much he had to look back. Cale had been standing in front of him, but now was kneeling before him as Kellen sat on the edge of the bed, naked from his waist down. The look on Cale’s face was something akin to wonder — and even on his knees, his tight jeans did nothing to hide the effect this was having on him. Cale reached a hand out and placed it on Kellen’s bare calf, stroking it lightly with his thumb.

Surely, surely Cale was going to react badly, any second now… But as the seconds ticked by and that moment never came, the nervous hammering of Kellen’s heartbeat changed its rhythm. Every beat sounded less like fear and more like anticipation.

Because Cale was right there, kneeling in front of him and touching him with tender acceptance — eagerness, even. All the secrets Kellen had thought were going to end the world, it turned out were nothing worse than everything they understood about one another already. Cale had understood Kellen even before he pressed a kiss to the soft inside of Kellen’s thigh, and he understood Kellen as he leered at what Kellen had between his legs. The sparkle in his eyes said that Cale cared far less about what he found there and more that it was Kellen’s to find.

“Can I suck your dick?” asked Cale through his wicked grin.

Kellen’s answer was a breathy moan. “Fuck, Cale, I…”

“Please?” Cale added, lowering his gaze so he looked up at Kellen through the curtain of his dark lashes.

“You don’t…” Kellen swallowed. “You don’t have to.”

Cale smirked. “I want to.” He leaned forward so his lips brushed lightly against the head of Kellen’s swollen, sensitive clit. Despite years of being on T, Kellen had always thought his particular equipment too small to qualify as anything else. Hearing Cale call it a dick sent lightning through his body. “Please let me suck your dick, Kellen. I want to taste you.”

Kellen’s heart was pounding in his chest so loud he could barely hear the words. He could feel them, though, because Cale’s lips were close enough to Kellen’s skin that Kellen could feel the motion of his mouth with every word. “O-okay,” Kellen stammered.

But Cale remained right where he was. He took a deep breath, then pressed his fingertips to the very edge of Kellen’s slit, rubbing the slick skin there. “Tell me to.”

“What?” Kellen didn’t understand.

“I want you to tell me,” Cale said, stroking the folds of Kellen’s sensitive skin, “to suck your dick.”

Those words had never exited Kellen’s mouth before. They’d never made it out of his brain, much less out of his throat. The few people he’d let interact with his junk, ever, had usually been in the dark and always more interested in sticking something into his hole than questioning that he had a hole there in the first place. Not one of his former lovers had ever spent more than a second or two looking at Kellen’s naked body.

But Cale, damn him, was of course going to take the hard way about it. And it was the hard way, given how Cale’s hand was rubbing lightly between his legs now. He wasn’t going to do anything without Kellen’s permission, though. Kellen could tell him to wait — or could tell him no, or tell him to go away — and Cale would listen. Because it was Kellen.

“Suck my dick,” Kellen managed, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Cale’s pink tongue slipped out from between his lips and flicked across the sensitive tip of Kellen’s shaft. He looked up at Kellen with those pretty dark eyes twinkling with mischief. “I didn’t hear you,” he teased with a smirk.

Kellen bit his lower lip. With a trembling hand, he reached for Cale’s hair. Fear clutched at his throat. Being on stage in front of tens of thousands of people was less nerve-wracking than having this audience of one. If he screwed up on stage, his fans would forgive him. If he screwed up here…

Well, what? What was the worst that could happen? Maybe he would say something a little funny and make Cale laugh. So what? Cale laughed at him all the time, and Kellen laughed right back. It was Cale between his thighs, Cale gazing up at him in wicked anticipation. It was Cale, who had never in his life looked at Kellen with anything but an expression Kellen was quickly learning was love. Cale would take on the world with his bare fists if it meant keeping Kellen safe, and that meant even from Kellen himself.

Kellen cleared his throat and drew in a slow breath. He squared his shoulders and forced himself to believe that he was worth every word he was about to speak: “Suck my dick.”

Cale’s grin all but split his face in two with delight as he leaned forward and, as instructed, took Kellen’s hard and eager dick into his mouth.


hot, right?

It was very well written.

need a minute to cool down from that one huh?

It was just surprising, that’s all

you think i wouldnt be cool with it?

I don’t know, would you?

i mean sure
bodies are bodies and people are people
you know ive been with guys before

Yeah, sure
I mean, I know you have
But that’s different.


Because you hooked up with them, you didn’t date them.
There’s people you hook up with and people you’d date
And they’re not necessarily the same people

why not tho?

Well, you’ve never actually dated a guy before, have you?

maybe i just havent met one worth dating yet

That’s not cool to joke about.

not joking!
why do you think im joking?

Because you’re always saying shit
To get a reaction. I don’t know.
Whatever, it’s fine, it doesn’t matter
Got any other stories you like?

sure sure mr change the subject
try this one

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: M/M
Fandom: The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods, Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods/Other(s), Kellen Woods/Other(s)
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe – Vampires, Alternate Universe – Clergy, Priest, Horror, Supernatural Elements, Blood, Blood Drinking, Corruption, Bloodplay, Gangbang, Vampire Sex, oh shit there’s a whole vampire sex tag, that’s awesome
Language: English
Series: ← Previous Work • Part 6 of the The Devil’s Disco series • Next Work
Collections: Bandom Screams! 2019
Stats: Words: 18,279    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 29    Kudos: 56    Bookmarks: 10    Hits: 1483

Suck Me

Vampire-hunting priest Father Kellen is sent by the Vatican to clean up a nest of vampires stalking the streets of San Francisco. Yet when the leader of the vampires gets his scent, he may not be in any position to refuse.

By popular demand, The Ghosts of Saturday Night! I was originally going to do them for the werewolf prompt, but my friend Raha pointed out what a great neck Kellen has, and the rest was history. So sorry to everyone who has to wait until next Halloween to see Kellen get knotted! ~_~

It hurt, shockingly so. He’d been prepared for the pain, but not for the way it overwhelmed him, grating against every raw nerve. How could it possibly hurt so much? Every muscle ached as Cale’s fangs sank deeper into the soft flesh of Kellen’s neck. His heartbeat became an agonizing pulse that echoed through his body like a too-loud drumbeat.

Yet at the same time, his heightened sensitivity to the pain meant a correspondingly heightened sense of pleasure. He wrapped his legs around Cale’s waist as Cale pushed even deeper inside Kellen. Every time Kellen felt Cale swallow the hot blood trickling from his throat, he also felt Cale’s cock get harder. This coupling was an abomination on every level, and Kellen had never been so turned on in all his life.

His lips mouthed the shape of a prayer, but he was far beyond being able to pray. All he could do was writhe and gasp as Cale began to move slowly, too slowly, making Kellen’s whole body beg silently for more.

Not that Kellen was a virgin. He’d lived a whole life before he’d taken vows, a life he’d turned his back on to enter the service of God. In that former life, though, he’d had many men — or, really, he’d let them have him much like this. This was different, though. As Cale’s lips pressed against the wounds his teeth had made in Kellen’s neck, Kellen realized he’d never been this hard in all his life. He’d been fucked before, sure. But he’d never so completely, so thoroughly been owned.

Cale pulled back just enough to grin at Kellen. The red blood smeared across his mouth almost looked like lipstick, and Kellen supposed he could choose to believe that. But it wasn’t the truth. The truth was that to Cale, Kellen was a delicious feast.

And then Cale kissed him with such ferocity that Kellen cut his lip on Cale’s sharp teeth. His whole mouth tasted of blood: Cale’s blood, Kellen’s blood, their blood shared together. Kellen moaned as Cale rubbed his tongue over the place Kellen’s lip had split. His cock throbbed against his own belly, flagging a little for the blood loss from his neck, but aching every time Kellen plowed into him again. God forgive him, but he loved getting fucked. He should never have stopped. He should never have given up that little pleasure, that little temptation. It had only opened him to something far worse.

No! Desperately, he tried to clear his head. This wasn’t something he should want at all! How could he forget all his training, forget the promises he’d made before his bishop and before God?

But oh, he wanted it. Even as his spirit rebelled against the vampire’s damned touch, his flesh yearned for it. Even as he hated himself for doing it, Kellen sucked at Cale’s lip as Cale fucked Kellen into the mattress. His cock felt as intrusive as his teeth had, until Kellen could concentrate on nothing else but the sensation of being plowed within an inch of his life. His body was barely his anymore — it was Cale’s to use, and to fuck, and to feed on at his will.

When Kellen came, he was only half-hard, but that didn’t stop him from coming buckets. He shouted as he spilled his own seed all over his belly, pulse after pulse gushed from his aching balls desperate for release. He was dimly aware that Cale was coming too, shooting deep inside him as though that might be some transfused substitute for the blood he’d taken. He’d always been taught that vampires made their prey drink their blood to complete their bonding ritual. Kellen knew now there were much more intimate ways than that.

He lay there afterward, smeared with blood and his own come, gasping for breath as Cale licked his lips. “Come back with me,” Cale said with a wicked smirk and a hypnotic flash in his eyes. “I want to share you with everyone else.”

All Kellen could do was nod.

Why do you get to be the vampire?

oh sorry did you want to be the vampire
i can find you one where youre the vampire

No, it’s fine.
Really. It’s fine.

you sure?
i just need a minute to see whats out there
hold on

How have you been finding the rest of these so fast?

you know
my bookmarks

Wait, you have these bookmarked?
You mean you’ve read all these before?

well yeah
how else would i know which ones to send
dont waste your time on bullshit when theres good stuff out there

So this is the good stuff you’ve been making me read?

we havent gotten to my favorites yet tho

We haven’t? What are your favorites?

ask nice


ask nice if you want to see the best ones

You are unbelievable.
Fine. Cale, please show me your favorites.

heck yeah

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M, Multi
Fandom: The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods, Harris Robinson/original female character, Harris Robinson/Xan Martinez
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods, Xan Martinez, Harris Robinson
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe – High School, band kid Kellen, who is having a real sexuality crisis here, football captain Cale, nonbinary cheerleader Harris, student body president Xan, public boners, terminal awkwardness, gay intrusive thoughts, a little bit of underage drinking, Cale has a dirty fucking mouth, chaos ensues, other characters may show up later, help girl idk how to tag shit, yeet
Language: English
Series: ← Previous Work • Part 7 of the Ghost High series • Next Work
Stats: Words: 21,599    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 16    Kudos: 55    Bookmarks: 8    Hits: 497

Skinned Knees and Split Lips (I Cut Them On Your Teeth)

Kellen continues to get rides from Cale. Xan continues to pine for Harris. Harris continues not to notice. Everyone continues to be gay.

I still don’t know how long this is going to be, how many chapters there will be or anything like that, this plot bunny is still going strong.
If you have anybody you really want to see at Ghost High let me know in the comments!
I really need a new job that just lets me sit and write all day like the one I had when I wrote the first parts of this. Sometimes I think about going back but lol my manager sucked, not worth it even for time to dedicate to this.

“I’m not gay,” Kellen protested weakly, even though he was believing that less and less every second he stared at the colossal monument that was Cale’s dick. In the cramped backseat of Cale’s car, it looked enormous sticking straight out of his fly, like it could have taken on the Eiffel Tower for size. He was uncut, Kellen could see, and precome was already beginning to seep from the tip.

“So?” Cale shrugged. “I’m not either.”

Kellen had far fewer doubts about that statement, given the number of girls Cale had hanging around him at pretty much all times. But that seemed less important in this arrangement — after all, it wasn’t gay to let a guy suck your dick, right? Everybody had a mouth.

That of course didn’t let Kellen off the hook here, but he wasn’t going to think about that now.

A part of Kellen wished he were drunker than he was. Drunk would have given him an excuse for this. But the truth was that he’d only managed to down half the can Cale had handed him, and while he was hardly an experienced drinker, nobody was getting wasted off that little shitty beer. So it wasn’t drunken stupidity, but honest desire, that made him take a deep breath, then lean forward.

Cautiously, stuck his tongue out from between his lips, then let it dab at the drip of precome there. It taste like Cale smelled right when he’d gotten out of football practice, when he’d showered already but was still running hot. Given how that scent had been haunting Kellen’s private moments for months now, it wasn’t surprising that he felt the need to open his mouth and go back for another taste. This time, he circled his whole mouth over the head of Cale’s cock, letting his tongue map the smooth skin there.

“Oh, fuck,” Cale gasped as Kellen’s lips closed around him. One of his hands grabbed at Kellen’s hair; the other braced himself against the driver’s seat headrest. “Oh, holy fuck, shit, your fucking mouth.”

Kellen’s eyes darted up to see Cale’s face — and what he found there was a Cale who was absolutely undone. Gone was the cocksure jock that walked the halls like he owned the place. His lips were parted and his dark eyes wild as he stared down at Kellen. Kellen’s mouth had hit Cale like lightning, utterly shattering his usual composure. Whatever he had been expecting from this experience, this hadn’t been it.

A sudden surge of awareness shot through Kellen — he was the one in control now. He ran his tongue along the underside of Cale’s dick and was rewarded with a deep, guttural moan. “Holy shit, dude, your fucking mouth.” Cale’s hips lifted off the back seat, begging for more contact. “Holy shit, holy shit, you’re sucking my dick, oh my god, you’re sucking my fucking dick, fuck, dude.”

All things considered, Kellen wasn’t surprised that Cale was so mouthy during sex. It seemed a surprise to Cale, though, who was breathing like he’d just run for ten touchdowns in a row. As an experiment, Kellen closed his lips around Cale’s dick and suckled a little, letting the pressure of his mouth combine with the friction of his tongue. It was turning out that not only did he like to suck cock, but he seemed pretty good at it too. Maybe he could write his college essay about that.

“Oh shit, dude, I’m–” And then Cale yanked Kellen’s head back by his hair, hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to get him out of the way in time. The second Cale’s dick popped from between Kellen’s lips, it started shooting his whole load of come into the air. Some of it landed on Cale’s thighs, but most of it striped right across Kellen’s face and into his hair. Kellen was so startled that he barely managed to close his eyes in time. He could feel the hot jizz as it coated his face, landing in heavy, wet stripes across his nose and cheeks.

Before Kellen could really recover from that — not just his first blowjob, but his first time touching somebody else’s dick, ever, and he’d ended up with a facial? — he could feel Cale’s hands grip the front of his shirt. Kellen had just enough time to register that Cale’s strong arms were yanking him forward. Then he was in Cale’s lap, their chests pressed together as Cale alternately kissed him and licked off the come that had splattered across Kellen’s lips. Kellen could taste it in the kiss, salty and musky and a little bit weird, except for how much it was turning him on.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking good,” Cale moaned into the kiss. That was another thing Kellen’s brain wasn’t quite processing yet, how Cale was kissing him. Cale was kissing him. Kellen had been trying to convince himself since September that that would never happen, and here was Cale, destroying all that hard work. “Suck me again, fuck, I need that again, I need that fucking golden mouth of yours again.”

The press of his half-hard cock against Kellen’s thigh punctuated the urgency of Cale’s request. His erection had flagged a little, but it wasn’t going anywhere. Kellen’s own hard-on was straining against his jeans now, aching to be freed. In a moment of boldness, Kellen drew back from the kiss and stared Cale down. “Can’t you get one of your little fan club to do it?” he asked, almost startled to hear the bitterness in his voice. He guessed that fight wasn’t as resolved as he’d been pretending it was.

Cale’s hands tightened in Kellen’s shirt. “Fuck them,” he growled, a low sound that rumbled right from Kellen’s ears to his dick. “I don’t need them. I need you.”

I don’t think anybody’s high school experience was like that.
Definitely mine wasn’t.
A least they got the band geek part right, that bit was accurate.
Never met a football player who wanted to kiss me, though.

that you know of

That I know of, okay.

okay got another one but first
are you okay reading about portia

Are YOU okay reading about Portia?
You’re the one she cheated on, not me.

yeah but i only ever got medium mad about it
you got nuclear mad

I think nuclear mad was justified!

nah it was never that big of a deal
i mean cheating sucks
but me and her were just a thing
we knew it wasnt gonna last
just fun

Then why’d you let me go off on her like that?

youre cute when youre jealous
wanna see what shouldve happened instead?

…Do I?

yeah i think you do

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M, M/M, Multi
Fandom: Bandom, Camp Kill, The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods, Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods/Portia Lin
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods, Portia Lin
Additional Tags: Threesome – F/M/M, DP, cale and portia fake dating, portia ships it, no cheating AU, everything was bisexual and nothing hurt
Language: English
Stats: Words: 17,989    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 4    Kudos: 12    Bookmarks: 4    Hits: 305

2 > 3

Portia agrees to date Cale to get her ex off her back. Cale agrees to date Portia to make Kellen jealous. smut ensues.

no Portia hate here, guys. cheating sucks but misogyny sucks worse. if you don’t like what she did, write her better!

Fuck, though, he could feel Cale through Portia. The way her body shifted around him — so much of that was Cale’s cock inside of her ass, making her pussy grip around Kellen’s cock even tighter. From behind her, Cale reached two hands around her, one to cup one of her breasts, the other to wrap lightly around the base of her throat. Portia just grinned as Cale’s fingers pinched one of her plump brown nipples between them. “There we go,” she purred, wriggling a little as she settled both men inside of her. “Everybody good?”

Kellen honestly didn’t know even how to begin answering that question. Flat on his back, he looked up at the two people astride him: first Portia, with her back arched and her hands braced on Kellen’s chest, and then Cale behind her, his tattooed arms a monochrome counterpart to her much more colorfully inked skin. They were so fucking beautiful together, Kellen thought. They were the ones who looked like actual rock stars. As always, he was just along for the ride.

With a sigh, Portia leaned forward, pressing her breasts to Kellen’s chest. She made like she was going to kiss him, but instead buried her face in the curve of his shoulder. Her body was warm and soft against Kellan’s. As though they’d choreographed it, Cale started fucking her hard then, giving her ass a smack that made her shiver before he really laid into her.

Wait — had they choreographed this? 

Kellen was shocked that the possibility had taken so long to enter his head. The way Cale and Portia seemed to be already in agreement about everything, though, that made this seem far less like a drunken, spur-of-the-moment three-way tumble into bed. In fact, it wasn’t hard to realize that what little negotiation had needed to pass between them had been about Kellen’s comfort and desires, not theirs. On the one hand, that might just have meant that the two of them were just more prone to reckless behavior, which was certainly true. On the other, though…

On the other hand, it was hard to concentrate on anything but how his cock could feel every stroke Cale’s cock made. Portia’s hips stayed in place as she lay atop Kellen’s body, letting Cale move behind her. She tensed her fingers so her fingernails pressed just the slightest bite into Kellen’s bare skin. He could hear the little gasps she made every time Cale bottomed out inside of her, pretty little whimpers that seemed to travel straight from Kellen’s ear to his dick. They weren’t the showy noises of women who felt obligated to sound like porn movies — they were deep and honest, like she couldn’t have shut up if she’d wanted to. Getting dicked down by Cale really must just have felt that good.

With Portia leaning that close to him, there was really only one thing that Kellen had to look at, which was Cale. At first it felt awkward and intrusive — a violation of the social rules that meant things like how everybody on a tour bus just agreed to ignore any sounds of other guys jerking off around them. But the more he looked, the more he couldn’t help looking. Cale’s hair fell across his face, creating a pretty curtain that only half-hid his handsome features. Kellen didn’t know what his own sex face looked like, but he couldn’t imagine he looked that good. He couldn’t imagine anyone could ever look as good as Cale did right then.

And then Cale looked right back at him — locked his dark eyes right on Kellen’s blue ones. Kellen expected Cale to make some kind of joke then, to laugh off the awkwardness of the situation. Except that Cale didn’t look awkward at all. He looked absolutely transfixed, breathing hard through slightly parted lips as he stared Kellen down. The tip of his pink tongue darted out to wet his lower lip. There was a needy look in Cale’s eyes, and whatever that need was, it wasn’t yet fully satisfied by this. Cale had all this already, but still he wanted more.

Before Kellen could even think much about that, Portia sat back as much as she could while keeping both of them inside her. She dragged Kellen up into more of a sitting position, such that he had to prop himself up on his elbows. In the shuffle of bodies and motion, Portia kissed him.

No, that wasn’t Portia. The feel of lips against his was too aggressive, too intense for the constant too-cool air kept about her. That meant only one thing — that Cale was kissing him, and not just for show, but kissing him like it was the only thing saving them from drowning. Cale thrust deeper into Portia’s body, moaning against Kellen’s lips as he did.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Portia sighed right next to Kellen’s ear. “Can you feel how hard he is? Because that’s not for me, baby. That’s for you. That’s always been for you.”

With the weight of both their bodies pressing against him, Kellen’s arms gave way. The three of them collapsed back against the bed, enough that Kellen and Cale broke from their kiss. When Kellen looked up at him, he saw Cale’s eyes full of wonder, his lips parted and flushed. Cale was staring right back at Kellen as though there were no one else in the room, or even in the entire world. He was all but holding his breath — waiting, it became clear after a moment, for Kellen’s response. The anxious look on his face said that he could have been waiting for anything: anger, disgust, even boredom on Kellen’s part. More than waiting, he was outright braced for the worst possible outcome of this decision.

Instead, Kellen drew in a deep breath, one that did nothing to calm his shaking hands. Even with both of them pressed against him, Kellen felt untethered. With a voice that was mostly air, and with a pleading tone that gave him away instantly, Kellen looked Cale right in the eye and whispered, “Do it again.”

Funny to think about Portia going for something like that.

she totally wouldve

How do you know?

we talked about it


yeah we talked about getting you in there
along with some other stuff
shes the one who really turned me on to all these stories
sometimes on tour shed have me call her and read her ones
usually the ones where she got railed by a lot of guys
or the ones where she fucked around behind my back


in hindsight maybe i shouldve seen it coming
but yeah she showed me how to find stuff
but we had different tastes
like i said she liked the cuck stuff more
angst and shit like that
and some of its good but mostly not my thing

So what’s your thing?
Or am I going to regret asking that?

oh look
its the first one i ever bookmarked

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: Suits, Suit Kink, Wedding, Tie Kink, Power Play, Clothing Kink, Established Relationship, Secretly Dating, Praise Kink
Language: English
Stats: Words: 2883    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 17    Kudos: 129    Bookmarks: 9    Hits: 2032

It’s Hard to Say “I Don’t”, When I Do
bluesinbiloxi, Riso

Kellen invites Cale as his plus-one to his sister’s wedding, where they both have urges that are hard to control.

Prompt 9 for Kinktober: suits/costumes/formalwear

It took a second for Kellen’s eyes to adjust to the difference between the bright outdoor reception and the relative dark of the church hallway. Before he could even see whose hands were on him, he was being pulled into an even darker coat closet and pushed up against the wall. There was no mistaking the taste of Cale’s mouth on his, though, or the needy way that Cale’s hand cupped Kellen’s cock through his pearl-grey trousers. “You have no business looking that good in that suit,” Cale gasped against Kellen’s mouth. “Fuck, you’re lucky I waited for the reception and didn’t just jump you walking that bridesmaid down the aisle.”

While that would have made for a memorable ceremony, Kellen was glad for the restraint. “But you still couldn’t wait until we got home,” he teased, reaching around to grab Cale’s ass through the much darker wool of his suit pants. “You’re a menace.”

“You love it,” Cale said with a laugh, and the hell of it was, Kellen wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Kellen wrapped his fist around the knot of Cale’s silk tie, and Cale all but froze in place with electric anticipation. Kellen could have told him to do anything then. Cale wouldn’t have hesitated, no matter the request, no matter the consequences. He was so thoroughly Kellen’s that he was practically whimpering with excitement. Even in the near-total darkness of the coat closet, Cale’s eyes were bright as they looked on Kellen with love and trust and horny need.

So Kellen yanked him close, pulling him down across their height difference until their faces were only inches apart. “They’re going to notice I’m gone soon,” he said, hoping that no one had already noticed it, much less noticed that he and Cale were gone together. “And when I show up again, I better not look like I’ve been getting sucked off in a closet.”

The eager grin on Cale’s face was manic and beautiful. “That’s assuming you’ve been getting sucked off in a closet in the first place,” he said, the tease clear in his words.

Kellen’s fist just tightened around Cale’s tie until he could hear the little rasp in Cale’s breathing. “Be a good boy and blow me,” Kellen ordered in a low growl. “Suck me and swallow every drop. If you make a mess, I won’t let you come.” With a pointed little shove, Kellen let go.

Cale fell to his knees without hesitation. Even though Kellen could feel his hands shaking, Cale undid the fly of Kellen’s trousers with care to not so much as wrinkle the material. He pushed down the waistband of Kellen’s underwear enough that his cock flopped out straight in front of him, already almost completely hard. Cale licked his lips once before he opened his mouth and swallowed Cale down to the root, enough that his nose mashed right up against the matching fabric of Kellen’s vest.

Gasping hard, Kellen shoved one of his hands into his mouth to keep from making noise. The other, he grabbed at Cale’s hair with the same force he’d used to hold Cale’s tie in place. “Good boy,” Kellen murmured around his fingers. “What a good cocksucker you are.”

The praise made Cale moan around Kellen’s shaft, enough that Kellen more felt than heard the vibrations of it. Under other circumstances, Cale might have tried to fire off some witty remark at that, but Kellen had learned well the benefits of having his cock shoved down his boyfriend’s throat. There was no better way to shut him up.

With Cale’s eyes closed in bliss, Kellen could see the heavy kohl he’d used to line his lids. Even at a formal occasion, away from the limelight, Cale could tone it down, but he never tried to blend in. With his lips rounded, he slowly pulled his head back from Kellen’s dick, letting Kellen’s spit-slick shaft emerge inch by inch from his mouth. When he reached the head of Kellen’s cock, he stopped, running his tongue all along its fat ridge in a way that made Kellen’s legs tremble. Cale wasn’t teasing with this; he was going right to what he knew got Kellen off, just as he’d been told to do.

“I love you,” Kellen murmured, knowing how each of the words of praise would send shivers down Cale’s spine. “You take my cock so well and I love you. You’re such a pretty little slut. You look so pretty with your lips wrapped around my dick. Like you were made for sucking me. Like a very good boy.”

Cale’s head bobbed faster as Kellen spoke. He wanted to be so good for Kellen — and only for Kellen. In their everyday lives, he was known for being a troublemaker, a rebel, pop-punk’s most charming troll. But on his knees like this, he hung on every word of praise from Kellen’s mouth, as his own mouth sucked hot and hard on Kellen’s rigid shaft. He obviously wanted to tear off all of Kellen’s clothes right there and jump right on his dick, to make a mess of them both and return them to the reception looking well and truly fucked. He wouldn’t, though, not as long as Kellen was telling him to behave.

Except maybe the truth was that Kellen was tired of behaving. Maybe he was tired of watching Cale pretend to date some girl or other he barely knew, of seeing Cale’s name on gossip sites’ Most Eligible Bachelor lists, of having his own family ask him when his turn to get married would come. Maybe he wanted to walk back out there with his nice groomsman’s suit rumpled and come drying on both the front of his pants and Cale’s chin, to tell them that this was where his heart belonged — his heart and his dick and all other parts.

He wouldn’t. Of course he wouldn’t. Neither of them would. But goddamn if he didn’t want it.

So is that what you were actually thinking about Shaye’s wedding?

ill never tell

I feel like I’m learning a lot about you here.
Okay, impress me.


Show me the hottest thing you’ve got.

oh man
coming right up

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Bandom, The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: Public Sex, Drugs, Dirty Talk, cw: drug use, mainly just an excuse for smut
Language: English
Stats: Words: 4092    Chapters: 1/1    Comments: 70    Kudos: 729    Bookmarks: 25    Hits: 9022

your name is the drug that breaks in my veins
castlesplainia, 2013

my hands still smell like you
in the backseat of a taxi heading home

In which Kellen learns a few things about himself, and Cale is happy to be his teacher.

Not really a whole lot to say about this one, except it’s hot. Thanks to JJ (jeorjieporjie) for being my English beta! Any mistakes here are my fault, not theirs.

When the high came on, it was like Kellen could see the music coming out of the speakers, bright and colorful like liquid. It wrapped around him like silks, tangling up his limbs and making him into a puppet. He had no choice but to dance, to twirl and shake under the pulsing lights. The high lifted his arms like it was a wave hitting him on a beach, and when they came down, they were around Cale’s shoulders.

Cale didn’t look surprised. He looked as starry-eyed as Kellen did, his pupils blown wide until there was no color around them at all. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead, the way it did during shows when he got real into it. The front of Cale’s thin t-shirt was already soaked through, to where Kellen could see the dark lines of Cale’s tattoos through the white fabric. There was a pressure against Kellen’s ass, and Kellen took a minute to realize that it was Cale’s hands there, squeezing him through his tight jeans.

“You’re touching my ass,” Kellen protested, trying to sound like he was annoyed by it. And he should have been annoyed by it. He should have been tremendously annoyed by having his best friend grope him in public. He definitely shouldn’t be getting so hard that his pants were getting uncomfortable.

Cale responded by grinding their hips together slowly, pushing up against Kellen so that Kellen could feel he wasn’t the only one having this reaction. “Is it?” Cale teased. Other bodies twined and twisted around them, but Kellen couldn’t give a shit. All he could care about was how he could feel the pulse of the music throbbing in his cock. The bass beat had saturated his veins, taking over his heartbeat. He wasn’t just a person anymore. He was also the thudding dance music that surrounded them, filling the air like water.

And Cale was into it.

Cale was incredibly into it, in fact. Kellen tested this by returning the gesture and being the one to press their hips together, and he was rewarded by the very satisfied moan Cale made. The sound was inaudible over the noise from the speakers, but it didn’t matter. Kellen could feel it anyway. He tried again, this time outright wriggling as he danced up against Cale’s body.

“You make me so fucking hard,” Kellen heard someone say, and he was surprised to realize a second later that he had both said the words and meant them. He wouldn’t have said things like that normally. He would barely have thought them. But now here he was, unable to control either his mouth or the truth that was falling out of it. “All the time, you make me hard. You know how many times I’ve jerked off about you?” No, stop! shouted some distant part of Kellen’s brain. But that part wasn’t in control anymore. “How bad I want you inside me, like, all the time?”

He could feel the sharp intake of breath in Cale’s chest as he said it. Cale’s strong hands gripped harder on his ass, like it was the only life preserver and the sea was rising. “In you?” Cale was still grinning, but his voice gave away how unsteady he was.

Kellen’s mouth was twisting up into a grin almost against his control. Why was he saying this? Because it was true. Sober Kellen could keep these truths to himself, could swallow them down every day like they were his bitter daily medicine, necessary for normal living. High Kellen didn’t give a fuck. “And I know you want it too. You think I can’t see you looking at me across the stage during shows? Like all I’d have to do is give you the nod, and you’d be on top of me, hands on my dick, tongue down my throat? Right there on the stage, in front of everybody?”

The bite of Cale’s teeth on his own lower lip was all the proof Kellen needed. And yeah, Kellen had seen those looks before. Mid-song, he’d glance to his left, only to see Cale there, grinning manically at him over his bass, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead, hungry like the Big Bad Wolf. If pressed, Sober Kellen would have sworn those looks didn’t mean anything. Sober Kellen would have claimed this was just the kind of rapport bandmates built on stage during shows. Sober Kellen would have been a fucking liar.

“So are we going to do this?” Kellen asked, pressing his erection up against Cale to make sure Cale didn’t mistake this for a joke. Kellen had never meant anything more in his entire life. “Or are you going to spend the rest of your life jerking off while knowing that this, this could have been it, this could have been the minute you had me, this could have changed everything — but you chickened out?”

Cale laughed, throwing his head back and exposing the lean muscles of his long neck. “Fuck you,” he said, but his tone was light and warm. Everything was light and warm, even the darkness that pressed in around them. 

With a grin, Kellen tightened his arms around Cale’s neck and pulled him closer. He got his lips right up against Kellen’s ear, because he wanted to be damn sure Cale wasn’t going to miss a word of what he was about to say: “Come fuck me yourself, coward.”

The world spun for a second, and when it stilled again, Kellen was shoved up against the side wall of the club. Dimly, he was aware that not only was this still in full view of everyone, but that they’d started to gather an audience. Somehow the knowledge that he was being watched by a club full of German strangers just made it hotter as his pants got yanked down to his mid-thighs and a strong bassist’s hand swatted his bare ass.

Well, that was fine. Let them look. Only Cale got to touch.

That did not disappoint.
And it’s funny, that’s not me. I’d never do that, for obvious reasons.
I mean for one thing the paparazzi would be all over it
But it’s kind of nice thinking it could be me
Like, thinking somebody thinks that could be me.

yeah that makes sense

I know I’m the boring one.

no youre not

Yes I am. And that’s okay.
You, Xan, Harris, you’re all so much better in the spotlight.
You all know what to say when the cameras are on.
I’m only good with someone else’s words in my mouth
And I don’t mind being the boring one!
Mostly, anyway.
It’s just nice that maybe someone might think I’m not.

youre not boring
you just make good decisions

I guess that’s kind of the same thing, sure.

and anyway
borings not all bad

Never thought I’d hear YOU say that.
The man who wrote the line, entertain me or I’ll explode

yeah well i was 22 man
22 was a long time ago
stuff looks different now

Tell me about it.

starting to see the appeal of good decisions
or maybe just stable bad ones
so ok
on that note
you want to see my favorite?

That club one’s not your favorite?

no thats the hottest one i have
like you asked for
my favorites something else
ha ha
im kinda embarrassed

You’ve already shown me basically your whole porn collection tonight.
Why are you embarrassed?

here just read it
and tell me what you think
or dont
i mean you dont have to

You going to send me the link?

oh right

Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen, M/M
Fandom: The Ghosts of Saturday Night
Relationships: Cale Garnier/Kellen Woods
Characters: Cale Garnier, Kellen Woods
Additional Tags: Future Fic, Married Couple, Domestic, Growing Old Together
Language: English
Stats: Words: 6,739    Chapters: 3/3    Comments: 3    Kudos: 48    Bookmarks: 15    Hits: 1207

Grungy Old Men
cat_a$$_trophies, melanofly

Cale and Kellen celebrate the band’s 10th, 25th, and 50th anniversaries

An earlier version of this story was originally posted to LiveJournal in June 2008, so if it sounds familiar, you’re old too.

Kellen exhaled through pursed lips. “No,” he admitted, setting the grocery bags down on the counter. “I forgot. Let me put these away, I’ll go back out.”

“It’s fine.” Cale folded his arms along the windowsill. In the late afternoon light, filtered through the trees, it was hard to tell which of the dark marks on his arms were faded tattoos and which were topsoil. “Just put them on the list for next time.” He still had most of his hair, though it had long since gone to a curly silver, a full decade after he’d stopped dying and straightening it. Sometimes when they lay beside one another in bed, Kellen would tug the little locks away from Cale’s head, then smile as he let them go and watched them curl up right up next to Cale’s scalp again. Cale pretended to hate it. It had been a very long time since Cale had been able to pretend anything convincingly enough to fool Kellen.

Half an hour later, Kellen made his way outside with two glasses of lemonade and a reminder to Cale that he needed to put on more sunscreen. Cale countered that in another fifteen minutes, the shade from the trees would be covering the part of the garden where he was working, so more sunscreen wouldn’t matter. They came to a compromise, which meant Kellen rubbed the sunscreen in on the back of Cale’s neck while Cale drank his lemonade. Once upon a time, the bony skeleton-hand tattoos that wrapped around Cale’s neck had been ironic. Now they were more of a memento mori than Kellen would have cared for.

Still, there was no arguing with a spring afternoon like this one. “How’s it all coming?” asked Kellen, looking over the patch of their backyard Cale had claimed for the vegetables-to-be. All but the smallest green shoots were still deep beneath the soil, but the tomato cages and wire trellises already held their positions, ready for the summer crop.

“It’s good,” Cale said with an appraising nod. “I think this year’s going to be a big tomato year.”

“A big tomato year?” Kellen chuckled. “Wasn’t last year a big tomato year?”

“Last year was a medium-big tomato year. This” –Cale pointed to the furrows he’d dug into the earth– “will be a tomato year to remember.”

Cale’s various bumper crops were actually how they knew most of their neighbors. There came a point in every growing season when Kellen wound up rolling a little wagon up and down their street, knocking on doors and asking the people who opened them if they’d care for some extra string beans, or eggplants, or whatever had chosen this year to proliferate.

None of them ever recognized him on sight. His name sometimes seemed to ring a bell to a few of them, but only one — Jessica from the blue house on the corner — had outright admitted to being a fan. She’d had him sign her copy of Sunrise Parabolic, which he’d done with sheepish delight, and sometimes she and her two daughters stopped to talk when they went out walking their dog. No, that wasn’t quite right anymore —  they’d lived here long enough now that she came out with her granddaughters now, laughing as they made their way down the sidewalk together.

“Be sure you leave enough time to wash up,” Kellen reminded him as he capped the sunscreen bottle. “Reservation’s at seven, so we’ve got to be out the door by six-thirty.”

“Like they’re going to start without us.” Cale swatted at his shoulder. “So what if we’re fashionably late?”

“So it is rude, and I’m not going to celebrate fifty years of being married to a rude man.”

Not that they’d ever actually gotten married, of course. Legally, they’d never needed to, and emotionally, it had never seemed necessary. Besides, what would any actual marriage documents change? From the moment they’d stepped on stage for their first performance (back when the band hadn’t even had a name yet) and locked eyes right before the first drumbeat, there’d never been anyone else for either one of them. There had only been the perfect gravity that kept them falling into one another again and again.

Cale was completely unmoved by any accusations of bad behavior, which just went to show that at least some things would never change. “I’m not wearing a tie.”

“You don’t have to wear a tie,” Kellen said. “I got your nice jacket back from the cleaners last week and a pair of your good jeans, and it’s all laid out on the bed for you. You can pick which shirt you want to wear.”

“Can I wear my Camp Kill Reunion Tour shirt?” When Cale smiled like that, he looked every bit the young man he’d been when they’d met, back when they’d both been barely into their twenties and thought they’d known everything and hadn’t known anything. It might be nice to have some of that back, to be able to keep those hours and eat those foods and drink like that again, to fall asleep anywhere and hop right out of bed, to move fast

But the truth was, Kellen wouldn’t have traded a minute of the past half-century. “It’s in the middle drawer on your side. I’ll get it out for you.”

Cale shot him a perfect wink. “What would I do without you?”

“Same thing I’d do without you,” Kellen said, and if there was one thing he knew after fifty years of having Cale Garnier in his life, close as his own heartbeat, it was that.

I liked that.

did you?

A lot.

thats good

I mean
I liked it as more than just a story.




We’re not getting any sleep tonight, are we?


We’re going to be so fried tomorrow.

yeah probably

I’m going to tell the producers it’s all your fault.

fuck you

Come fuck me yourself, coward.
Read 3:42 AM


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10 thoughts on “Additional Tags: RPF, First Time, Bandmates to Lovers, OTP

  1. Holy crap, what a wild ride!! I love how we don’t know anything about the real Cale and Kellen but we learn so much about their dynamics through the eyes of their fans. Being able to sample all of these AUs was delighftul and having so many different artists contributing to it really made it feel like an actual fandom experience. The fandom will go absolutely batshit once they figure out their ship is canon.


    So this is hilarious (And really sweet!), but my favorite thing about it is that Kellen doesn’t really question why Cale is sending him all of these fanfics. He questions that they’re being written AT ALL, he questions the content, but he doesn’t question Cale sending them in general. If I had to confess my love to someone as a public figure, I suppose this would be a way to do it, hahaha.

    Great story! I would be able to see all of the TLC put into this from lightyears away. I’m still boggling over all the formatting. X_X

  3. Ohh this is an absolute delight to read, I really love a fake-fic format because it’s so fun reading tags and usernames and seeing if a particular author uses an excerpt from the fic or lyrics or a general summary on the summary section. And it’s interesting to get a sense of who these characters are only through the lens of how other people see them.

    ALSO it was wonderful to have a moment of band-recognition and realize you stuck a SSB reference in there ;)

  4. okay but that’s a new kind of self-harm i never thought of before: reading fanfic about you and your crush instead of doing anything about your feelings. i mean, good job cale actually following through! but like. damn boy. u ok???

  5. Quick art rundown first, because WOW, so much good stuff in this one:

    Tofu’s lil fake game screenshot is super fun. There’s so much great stuff going on in the interface — it’s like a tiny love letter to old H-games. Plus SO colorful!

    Someone Else’s is the first look at Cale’s tattoos and I love them. If all the artists were working from description alone, it’s really cool to see how similar the tattoos turned out where they’re visible. Also I’m curious: is the binary meant to spell out anything? (I tried to type it in but got nothing.)

    Kellen is super cute in Dan’s piece! That little lip bite is aDORable and he’s just so soft and cuddly looking. Also love to see more of Cale’s sweet tattoos.

    Riso’s pic for the suit kink piece is so bright it knocked my proverbial socks off. Love the use of color on the x-ray shot and also Kellen’s face with that little heart. Perfect mix of horny and smushy romantic expression.

    2013’s perfectly captured the glitzy like… high-resolution feel of the PWP, with the absolutely prettiest version of Kellen and Cale. Probably much more buff and perfect than the “real” version of them, at a guess and it fits the tone of that section spot on. I especially like all the little sparkles (lights? glitter? great either way!).

    I love that you included the artists’ names in the fics they were in! It’s a great little touch (and a well-deserved bonus credit for all the fantastic artists!).

    The whole piece is fantastic, obviously. I cackled over ever new set of tags and author’s notes. It strikes the perfect balance for me of poking a bit of fun at fandom (because c’mon, we’re all a bit ridiculous sometimes) but coming from a place of love. Having the subjects of the fic get to offer up their take makes it even more fun.

    “Everything was bisexual and nothing hurt” remains my absolute favorite tag (and I am heartbroken to discover it isn’t in use, because yes, I immediately had to go check).

    The last fic is such a sweet one to end on — even without seeing their relationship, you get a big ol’ hit of romance there. And obviously “Come fuck me yourself, coward” is a perfect closing line. And stolen from one of the earlier fics! I’m dying. :D

  6. First things first: the formatting works, both in browser and on mobile, and it works to such an extent that the eye can experience it without getting drowned in it; like any good UX, it can easily become invisible in the sense that it’s working perfectly. All those hours spent laboring over a hot word processor paid off!

    The actual setup of the story works well: what could get tricky or stale if it was just pure untagged conversation is neatly broken up by the chunks of fiction, and as always different typing styles do a great job of selling different character voices. Kellen slowly warming up to the idea over time is fun to read, but I think my favorite part was how strongly the two of them reacted to the idea of being together, being a thing for decades. Starry-eyed youthful passion is nice and all, but years of happy devotion to someone who knows you inside and out? Now that’s the stuff.

    I’m so happy to see how many artists stepped up to this challenge, and how each one brought a wildly different (but still joyfully consistent!) take on the leads, with everything from the super-stylized to painterly realism to some good old-fashioned pixel art! Everyone’s pieces contrast with their neighbors in a way that bring out each one’s unique strengths, and it really sells the idea that there is an entire teeming fandom lusting after these two musicians and hoping very badly that they bump uglies in some configuration or another. Congratulations to all six of you for rising to the challenge most admirably!

  7. ah wow what fun! made me kinda verklempt over what an amazing, silly, creative thing fandom can be – not to mention the story itself which was a masterclass in building feeling and SO romantic. lifelong friends! pining! knowing each other better than they know themselves, and caring so much! :”) I’m probably going to have to read again to properly appreciate all the little jokes in the tags, and the different styles in each fic, though both of those definitely do come through on the first read too. “yeet” tag in particular had me laughing. And I love that ending with Cale nervously sharing the soft domestic bliss fic – it might not get as many kudos as explicit sex, but it’s a painfully romantic vision of commitment to present to your crush like that. what a killer idea!

    and incredible work from all artists – such a fun concept and executed so well <3

  8. yesssss this is DELIGHTFUL. I lost count of the number of times I burst out giggling aloud by myself in the house, like a weirdo, and I am so happy for it. I will not be the first or even the tenth to tell you what a joy your in-universe fanfic tags all were but you know, I love about you so that there is not even a drop of anything mean-spirited or ironic about any of this, it’s truly a love-letter to how darling and truly funny and warmingly parasocial ACTUAL fanfic writers’ tags and author’s notes are. And of course the embarrassingly close-to-home vulnerability one is the romantic domestic life growing old together one, perfect.

    You should know that in each case I was squinting critically at the word counts. Always important. And I guess the only thing that requires suspending disbelief is that the pargraph spacing isn’t really weird in any of them, but I am willing to accept it for the sake of artistic license.

    BIG ups to art team, too, what a wonderful mix of styles to add to the whole thing!

  9. It’s amazing to see the whole thing all together! What a story! Even though they’re Cale’s bookmarks there’s a lot written as Kellen’s pov, so they really suits Cale sending them to him as a love letter.

    Somehow pop-punk feels like an oxymoron.

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