You Just Might Get It

by juou no zan (女王のザン)


“Oh, Josie’s back in town next week, she wants to have dinner,” Liz said.

Sam rolled his eyes. “I don’t ask you to have dinner with my exes.”

“Yeah, well, your exes aren’t still your friends,” Liz said. “She wants to meet you!” She rolled over and put her head in his lap. “Please?” she asked, pouting.

Sam sighed. “Yeah, yeah. You know I can’t say no to you.”

“Sure you can,” Liz said, booping his nose. “I’d just ignore you.”


Josie was tall, well-dressed, and had beautiful loose curls. Sam had to remind himself that Liz and Josie had broken up for a reason, and that Liz had married him.

This only sort of helped when she shrieked and threw her arms around Josie’s neck, leaving Sam standing awkwardly at the car door.

“You learned to dress yourself!” Liz exclaimed, plucking at Josie’s fitted leather jacket. “I’m so proud, you look so good!”

Josie ran a hand through Liz’s pixie cut. “You cut your hair again.” She looked over Liz’s shoulder to Sam. “And you must be the husband.”

Liz whapped her on the shoulder. “Don’t act like you don’t know his name!” Then she took Josie’s arm. “Come on, let’s get our table.”


“I haven’t felt like this much of a third wheel since high school,” Sam said, like it was a joke, but it was also the truth.

Liz laughed uproariously and nudged his knee under the table. Josie raised an eyebrow at Liz’s overreaction even as she chuckled herself. Sam blushed and nudged Liz back.

“Well,” Josie said, spreading her hands, “if I hadn’t been seeing Vero that last time Liz was single…” She flashed her teeth at him, then leaned in to leer at Liz. “Really though,” she went on, leer vanished as though it had never been, “she never shuts up about you, makes you sound like a great guy. How’s your jewelry-making going?”

“Oh,” Sam said. “Uh, good? I sold some stuff for Christmas.”

Josie smiled at his surprise. “Like I said, she never shuts up about you.”

“You too,” Sam said, “only I have no idea what you do because all she ever talks about is how funny you are. You’re not still touring, are you?”

She waved a hand at him. “Not this year,” she said.

“I told you that,” Liz protested to Sam. “I swear I told you that.”

The rest of the dinner was more of the same. Liz and Josie has a million things to say to each other, and once in a while they remembered Sam was there and asked him something or told him a story the two of them already knew.

Josie was funny, though. He hadn’t seen Liz laugh so much in a while.

They lingered over dessert. Josie ordered a monstrosity of chocolate and ice cream, and Liz ended up eating most of it. Finally, Josie looked at her phone and swore.

“My mom’s been texting me for hours,” she said. “I guess I should go.”

“Oh! Tell her hi from me!” Liz zaid. She grabbed Josie around the waist as she passed their side of the table and hugged her.

“Of course, babe,” Josie said, then waved a little at Sam. “Nice meeting you.”

In the car, Liz said, “Not that I don’t love you, but it’s still so weird to me that Josie and I never got back together.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, “well. It is pretty obvious you’re still into each other.”

“You know you have nothing to worry about,” Liz said, putting her hand on his leg.

“No, I know,” Sam said. “I was actually just thinking–uh, I mean, Josie would be perfect for. You know.”

Liz sighed. “She would,” she said. “Wait. She would! I could totally ask her!”

“I think she’d say yes,” Sam said. “I mean, it’s your decision, but.”

“But you’d like it,” Liz said, and Sam didn’t have to see her face to know she was grinning at him.

“Well. Yeah.”

Liz laughed. “I guess I’ll ask her, then.”


She said yes! was the message waiting for Sam when he got out of the shower.

Oh my god he replied.

We’ll be there in like twenty minutes, Liz sent back, and Sam sat down on their bed to start freaking out. His phone dinged again. Don’t freak out! We’re not for sure doing anything but talking about it.

He smiled at his phone and let himself tear up about how lucky he was. Then he stood up to get dressed.


When the ladies showed up eighteen minutes later, they walked through the door with Josie’s arm around Liz’s shoulder and Liz’s hand on Josie’s waist. Liz smiled at him, in much the same way she had when they’d told her parents they were engaged, like she was happy even though she was freaking out a little, and said, “Hi honey!”

Josie withdrew her arm and stepped away from Liz, even though Liz had explained to her. “Hey,” she said, looking the least confident he had ever seen her.

“Uh, hi,” Sam said. He was reasonably confident he couldn’t move, so he stayed on the couch.

Liz bounded over to him, all nervous energy if he was any judge, and sat next to him on the couch, taking one of his hands. “So she said yes,” she said, “and I guess that means we should all like talk about it as a group. Together.”

“Sure,” Sam said. “Yeah.”

Josie crossed the room and sat down on the coffee table, her knees just touching both Sam’s and Liz’s. “So,” she said. “I have no idea how to do this.”

“Neither do we,” Liz said, giving Sam’s hand a squeeze. “I guess we have to make it up?”

“Yeah,” Josie said. “Are you okay, man?”

“I didn’t think this would actually happen,” Sam admitted, face burning. “I didn’t think you’d say yes.”

“But you really are cool with it,” Josie said. “I mean, Liz said–” She cleared her throat. “She said it was your idea, but, uh.”

“Yeah,” Sam said. He was trying really hard not to sink into the couch and hide his face. Liz’s death-grip on his hand helped. “Yeah, no I’m–I’m so okay with it.” He laughed. “No, okay, I’m into it. It’s just. I’ve never told anyone but Liz,” he muttered.

“Well,” Josie said, “I’m honored to be part of your weird married sex life.” Liz laughed as Sam gave up resisting and hid his face behind her shoulder. “Shit,” Josie said, “sorry.”

“He’s fine,” Liz said. “He’s just embarrassed to be so turned on in the presence of a lesbian.”

“Liz!” Sam moaned as Josie laughed.

“It’s okay, I’ve never been this turned on in the presence of a dude,” Josie said. “Uh, Liz said you didn’t have to watch or anything, but I think I’d be cool with it.”

“Really?” Liz asked, surprised.

Josie shrugged. “I guess it feels less gross when the guy’s embarrassed about it, I dunno. I mean, he’s your husband, Liz. It’s different than some rando wanting to watch me make out with my girlfriend. If he’s willing to have me fuck his wife, I’m okay with him watching.”

“Oh my god,” Sam mumbled into Liz’s jacket. Liz squeezed his hand again. He looked up at Josie, resting his head still on his wife’s shoulder. Josie looked as pink as he felt, and had her shoulders hunched up too. Liz had a type, he thought. “I guess I can see why she’s still in love with you,” he said, and Josie reddened even more. Liz went stiff and awkward next to him, and he squeezed her hand this time.

“Right,” Josie said, and turned her wide-eyed gaze to Liz. “You said you tell him stories, right? Like what? What kind of stuff do you guys like?”

“Oh my god,” Sam said again.

“So I’ve actually looked into cuckolding as like a fetish,” Liz started, and Sam hid his face again.

“Of course you did,” Josie said, sounding fond.

“Shut up,” said Liz, sounding equally as fond. If Sam survived this, it was going to be the best decision. “Anyway, a lot of it doesn’t really apply to Sam, or I’m looking in the wrong places or something, because a lot of it is evopsych b.s. about male dominance or something.”

Josie rolled her eyes and muttered, “Straight people.”

“No, I know,” Liz said. “Anyway, it’s more like Sam likes the idea of me being with other people but still coming home to him.”

Josie looked down at him and raised her eyebrows, smirking slightly, and Sam blushed again, even though she was still red-faced and hunching.

“So,” Liz went on, “it’s not about the whole weird macho–” here she lowered her voice into a silly, grouchy baritone “–‘you can’t satisfy your woman but I can’ thing.”

“That’s good,” Josie said blandly, “because I didn’t think I was that butch.”

Liz laughed and said, “No, you’re not.”

“Not even with that leather jacket,” Sam said. Liz slapped his leg with her free hand, but Josie smiled as she rolled her eyes.

“So I’m not in town for too much longer,” Josie said. “When do you want to do this?”

“Why not now?” Liz asked, and Sam choked on his own spit. “You said you didn’t have anything else going on tonight, and we’re both free.”

“If you think Sam can handle that,” Josie said, laughing at him.

Liz waved one hand at her. “He’ll be fine.” She released his hand and stood up. “Come on.”


While Liz and Josie took off their jackets and shoes, Sam cleared off the only chair in the bedroom, which usually functioned as a coatrack and storage of random clothes he or Liz wanted to be able to easily find. He eventually gave up and dumped the rest of it on the floor, because his legs were shaking so much he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stay on his feet without collapsing.

Josie was just kind of standing awkwardly on one side of the bed. As Sam curled up in the chair, Liz rolled her eyes and crawled over the bed to pull Josie in for a kiss.

It was not like imagining Liz kissing someone else, or hearing her talk about it. She pulled Josie in with both her hands on Josie’s hips, and immediately put her tongue in Josie’s mouth.

Their room was not so large that Sam could not hear the noise Josie made in surprise. Then she was over it, apparently, and put both her hands on Liz’s ass. They moved closer together, Josie’s knees bumping into the mattress and Liz awkwardly scooting on her knees, bunching up the blankets as she went. Liz bit Josie’s bottom lip, pulling it out a bit, something she never did with Sam (not that he’d want her to, since he was kind of a wuss about pain during sex), but that clearly worked for Josie, who moaned and squeezed Liz’s ass in her hands.

“I missed this,” Josie said, as Liz tugged at the buttons on her shirt.

Liz frowned at her, still working on her shirt buttons, and said, “That’s gay.”

Josie laughed and pulled her shirt over her head without waiting for Liz to finish with the buttons. “And if things keep going the way they’re going, it will get even gayer in here tonight.” Her shirt fell to the floor next to her, and she ran her hands up Liz’s sides. “Come on,” Josie murmured, and kissed her once, “you too.”

Liz wriggled out of her top and tossed it at Sam. He jumped when it hit him in the face. She laughed at him, but then Josie bent down to kiss her neck and her laughs turned into something breathier. Josie was wearing a plain black t-shirt bra, but Liz was wearing the frilly white lace bra that was mostly translucent, the one she only wore when she was expecting to fool around. Josie kissed her way down Liz’s chest, slowly, like she was in no hurry to get where she was going, which Sam always found to be incredibly effective at getting Liz wet and frantic. Josie slid one of her hands up Liz’s side to cup her breast, and Liz squirmed. “You are the worst,” she said. “How could I forget that you are the worst?”

Now Josie was leaning onto the mattress, with Liz between her legs, to get her face level with Liz’s breasts. She nuzzled one as she fondled the other, then licked at where Liz’s nipple was just visible through the lace. Liz moaned and tugged her away by her hair, back up to where she could kiss her. Josie smiled into the kiss and brought her other hand up to Liz’s breasts.

Liz kept one hand in Josie’s hair and used the other to unhook her bra. Josie pulled away as much as Liz’s hand in her hair would allow, and said, “Dammit, Liz.”

Liz cackled. Josie pushed her backwards, and Liz flopped onto the bed. Josie shrugged out of her bra and joined Liz on the bed.

This was where watching her gay ex-girlfriend have sex with his wife was weird, because he couldn’t help but see Josie’s nipples, and if felt vaguely rude to notice them. He wouldn’t have this problem if Liz were having sex with another man in front of him, because he didn’t find most men attractive, and he wouldn’t be trying not to stare and be some inconsiderate jerk getting off on seeing a lesbian topless.

Something else hit him in the face, and he realized he’d been zoning out. Both women on the bed laughed at him. “Hi, honey,” Liz said. “Still with us?”

The thing they’d thrown at him was Liz’s bra. Josie said to Liz, “Does he pay this little attention when he’s the one having sex with you?”

Liz shrugged and said, “It depends,” and then collapsed into giggles as Josie kissed her stomach.

“That is a damn disgrace,” Josie said, glancing over at him.

“He’s probably worrying about the ethics of getting off in the same room as you, or something,” Liz said. “He spends a lot of time worrying about this.”

Josie kissed her. “Well isn’t that why we’re doing it? So he doesn’t have to?”

Liz said, “I thought we were doing this because we wanted to have sex again.”

“That is a good point,” Josie said, and bent down to kiss her again.

With both of them lying on the bed, Sam’s view was mostly of arms and legs and Josie’s hair, which seemed to expand to fill any space it was in. Liz giggled, and then gasped. Josie moaned. Liz wriggled out from under her and inched off her skirt without sitting up.

“Here’s a question a responsible adult would have asked,” Josie said while Liz got undressed. “Do y’all have dental dams?”

“Drawer,” Sam said, even as Liz said, “Yup!”

“As long as you’re up,” Liz said, although Josie was only stretched across the bed, reaching for the bedside table, and not “up” by most stretches of the imagination, “you should take off your pants.”

“Oh, I should?” Josie asked. She tossed the box of dams over her shoulder at Liz, then the small bottle of lube.

“I think so,” Liz said.

“Then I think you should take off your underwear,” Josie said, sitting up and turning around. “It’s only fair.”

“That is not true,” Liz said, but still pulled her underwear down. Josie helped it the rest of the way and tossed them at Sam, and while Sam was stuttering and wiping off his face, got up on her knees to undo her pants.

Liz leaned over and put her face between Josie’s legs. “Hey, idea-stealer,” Josie said, but it didn’t sound too convincing with the way her breath hitched.

Liz hummed contentedly and pulled away. “Just wanted a smell,” she said.

“Now who’s gay?” Josie demanded, and Liz tugged her down onto the bed to kiss some more. Josie kicked her jeans off, and Liz immediately put her hand down Josie’s underwear. “Y’know,” Josie breathed, “I had plans.”

“Sure you did,” Liz said, and bent down to kiss her again. After a while, Josie was moaning and squirming too much for Liz to keep kissing her, so she moved down to Josie’s breasts to suck on one of her nipples.

Sam shifted in his chair as he watched his wife finger another woman. They weren’t paying attention to him, and anyway, it wasn’t like any of them weren’t aware he’d be getting off on this, but he still had trouble convincing himself it would be okay if he undid his jeans.

The more Josie squirmed, the more Liz laughed, and the faster she moved her arm. Eventually Josie seized up and clutched Liz to her, and Sam figured it was a safe assumption she’d just come.

“I had plans,” Josie murmured, and Liz laughed again. Josie peeled off her soaked underwear and dropped it over the side of the bed. “Go sit in front of your husband,” she said, waving vaguely at Sam. “I’ll be right there.”

Liz obeyed, and rolled over to the end of the bed, to sit up facing Sam. There were marks on her chest and shoulder that weren’t from him, that would continue to be there for a few days at least. She smiled at him and murmured, “How’s it going, honey?”

“Fine,” Sam said. “Good.”

She smiled at him, and then Josie came up behind her and kissed her neck. Liz relaxed back onto her, and Josie reached around to roll one of her nipples between her fingers. “What are you doing?” Liz murmured, and Josie’s other hand drifted around to Liz’s thigh.

“Putting on a show,” Josie said. She kissed Liz, then pulled away and slid off the bed, falling to her knees in front of Liz, between Liz and Sam, close enough that Sam could feel her warmth on his toes where they hung over the edge of the chair. She’d brought the dams with her, and pulled one out of the box. She nudged Liz’s legs open with her shoulders and some carefully-placed kisses. Sam watched Liz’s nipples harden in anticipation as Josie moved in closer and positioned the dam.

“You’re not allowed to lie down, by the way,” Josie said at the last minute.

“What?” Liz asked, head already drifting back.

“Well, it’s not much of a show if Sam can’t see you,” Josie said, and Liz caught Sam’s eye as they both flushed.

Liz closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as soon as Josie started. With Josie’s back to him, Sam was left with no difficulties about where he felt safe looking. One of the worst things about going down on Liz was being unable to watch her as he did so, and this solved that problem quite neatly. He could see every pant, every bitten-back moan, ever half-realized attempt to put a hand up to her face or her breast or in Josie’s hair. She started to lean backward, drifting lower, and abruptly sat up and turned red. Josie’s shoulders moved like she was laughing, and Liz gasped.

Sam was so ridiculously hard, but Josie was literally at his feet with her face in Liz’s cunt, and he was unfortunately aware of every part of that situation for different reasons.

One of Liz’s hands touched Josie’s head, lightly, and Josie pulled back and looked over her shoulder at Sam. “You know, I don’t spontaneously combust in the presence of naked cock,” she said. “I’m not gonna be offended if you jerk off.”

“W–I didn’t–I wasn’t sure–”

Josie looked up at Liz. “He’s really bad at taking hints. Even when they’re actually invitations.”

“Do you know how many dates we went on before he figured out we were dating?” Liz asked. Josie laughed and shook her head, and Liz said, “Literally four. Four entire dates.”

Josie snorted. “Okay,” she said, half-turning to Sam, “stand up, take off your pants, and when you sit back down, actually like…physically enjoy looking at your incredibly sexy wife.”

Sam was standing before he realized it. Liz giggled, but then Josie turned back and put her face between Liz’s legs again, and Liz’s breath hitched halfway through the giggle, turning into an unfortunate choking sound.

Somehow, Sam managed to remove his pants and underwear without tripping all over himself or falling onto Josie, and sat back down, feeling sillier than before. Liz’s breathing was much more erratic now, and one of Josie’s hands had a tight grip on Liz’s hip. “God,” Liz breathed as Sam tried to find an angle where he didn’t feel weirdly exposed but could still actually sit comfortably.

Josie pulled away right before Liz was about to come, if Sam was any judge, and he thought he probably was. Josie crumpled up the dam and dropped it to the floor next to her. “I feel like this was easier when we were irresponsible teenagers,” she said.

Liz moaned and squirmed. “Messier,” she said. “Faster, too.”

Josie climbed back onto the bed. “Up,” she said to Liz. “On your knees.” Liz did so, and Josie moved back behind her and slipped her hand between Liz’s legs from behind. Liz’s thighs were visibly slick, and there was a wet spot at the very edge of the bed where she’d been sitting. Josie wrapped the other arm around Liz’s waist, and nuzzled at her neck. From this angle, Sam could see when Josie’s fingers stopped rubbing between Liz’s labia and actually went inside her, three fingers sliding in as easy as anything. Liz groaned and fell forward, Josie’s arm around her waist preventing her from pitching right off the bed. Sam slumped in his chair and actually let himself touch his dick.

Liz jerked when Josie pulled her fingers out, and jerked again when she pushed them back in, hard. “Fuck,” Liz said. “Josie–”

“I know, babe,” Josie murmured, and did it again. Liz shuddered. Josie fucked her hard, slamming her fingers into her, and Sam jerked himself in time with Josie’s thrusts.

Liz gasped and slumped forward. Josie eased her back and settled onto the bed with Liz in her arms. Liz turned to kiss her, and they sat like that, kissing on the bed, while Sam watched and touched himself and felt only mildly creepy.

By the time Sam came, hard and embarrassingly far, getting jizz on his own face, the kissing on the bed had heated back up to include groping and moaning again.

“You horrible insatiable lesbian,” Liz murmured, smiling into Josie’s kisses.

“It’s not my fault you’re so attractive when you’re taking forever to get off,” Josie said, and then shrieked as Liz tickled her.


It was only somewhat awkward cleaning up and getting dressed again. Josie stole a clean pair of Sam’s boxers, since her underwear was unwearably filthy, and Liz tried to claim Josie’s shirt but couldn’t get it buttoned at all.

“That was actually really fun,” Josie said, standing at the door with her hands in her pockets. “And not just the fucking-Liz parts, like I expected.”

“Um,” Sam said as Liz giggled, “thanks?”

Josie shrugged. “I’m just saying, if you ever want someone to boss you around while fucking your wife again, I’d be up for it.”

“Us too!” Liz said, then glanced at Sam. “Well, me too. I’ll have to double-check with Sam once he can actually form full sentences again.”

“Hey!” Sam said, while Josie laughed.

“All right,” Josie said, holding her arms out for a hug, which Liz immediately gave her. “I’ll talk to you later.” Liz leaned up to kiss her cheek, then Josie turned to Sam. “Uh,” she said, and Sam stuck out his hand. She shook it, holding her shoulders as stiffly as he was holding his own. “Okay,” she said, and opened the door behind her, “see ya.”

Liz turned to Sam. “So?” she asked, and waggled her eyebrows. “Was it everything you hoped it’d be?”

“It was all right,” Sam said, and Liz shoved him. He laughed. “Okay, okay, it was amazing,” he said. Liz pulled him over to the couch and forced him to sit so she could lay in his lap. “Also I love you,” he said.

Liz made a face. “Gay,” she said.

“I think you’re confusing me with someone else,” Sam said. Liz laughed and booped his nose. He caught her hand and kissed her finger. “So,” he said. “I guess I wouldn’t mind if you slept with Josie again.”

“Okay,” Liz said. “I didn’t think so, but it’s good to check, right?”

“Yeah,” Sam said. He brushed her hair back from her forehead. It was still a bit sticky from sweat. “And, uh. I mean it would be between you guys, but if you wanted to. Do more than just sleep with her, I guess I’d be okay with that too.”

“Really?” Liz asked. She sat up and turned to face him. “You never talked about it before.”

Sam shrugged. “We never–I didn’t really think we’d ever actually find someone,” he said. “And I–you both care about each other. And I trust you. I trust her, too. And I’m not actually worried you’ll leave me and go on tour with her.”

Liz made another face. “Ugh, no,” she said. “I like our boring steady jobs and apartment.” She leaned in to put her head on his shoulder. “You think it’d be a good idea? The last time we dated was a disaster.”

“You were in high school,” Sam said. “I’m not even friends with any of my high school girlfriends. Besides, didn’t you break up because of something stupid? You’re both grown-ups now.”

“And if it goes awfully, at least I have a fallback plan,” Liz said.

“Yes, a ‘fallback plan,’ that’s what the priest at our wedding called it.”

Liz leaned up to kiss him. “I love you,” she said.

“Yeah,” Sam said. “I love you too.”

“Ugh,” Liz said, falling across Sam’s lap again. “Now I have to figure out how to ask out someone I’ve already had sex with.”

“Your life is so hard,” Sam said, and Liz booped his nose again.

See this story’s entry on the Shousetsu Bang*Bang wiki.

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