“My heat was triggered by my fandom nemesis?!?!”

by juou no zan (女王のザン)
illustrated by RunnyCrusty

i mean it’s the thursday before con weekend but i just got off my LAST SHIFT BEFORE THE CONVENTION so

I’m so excited! I’ve never been to a convention before.
A fandom convention, I mean.

Has anyone else packed yet? I know I’m not checking in until Saturday morning, but I’m too excited to wait.

i just finished my packing list!
lol i didn’t put my meds on there. 

You might want those.

you make a list of what to pack before you pack???

i mean i didn’t used to

Packing lists are great!

i would do things like forget my meds
and i wouldn’t have two days to realize that
making the list puts my brain in packing mode before i actually have to do it

I have a list I start with, and add on to with any event-specific things.
…I might have made a spreadsheet that automatically calculates the quantities I need, based on the length of the trip.

lol Trach
of course you did

okay that actually sounds like a really good idea!

if i made it ahead of time it would just be one more thing to forget, lol
but i’m not as organized as Trach

But seriously, everyone remember to pack your medications or suppressants
Even if you shouldn’t need them, just in case
And consider bringing a first aid kit

nice sexism Rune! single out the omegas again, why don’t you

DeelTear, how is it sexism to remind people to pack suppressants? I swear I’ve seen you complain about how suppressants shouldn’t be grouped under medication before.

@Sazzy, don’t bother asking DT to be sensible, ze just has a hate-on for Rune. He could have said literally anything and ze would have found something to complain about.

Jin wondered if it was worth typing up a reply to Trach about how fucking rude that was (and how ze didn’t have a hate-on for him, Rune was simply always saying stupid shit) when the Champions meet-up was in less than a day and ze knew Trach was going to be there. Ze could just complain to zet in person. Although Rune had also said he was going to be there, so probably ze’d be too annoyed at him to remember ze was annoyed at Trach. And it wasn’t as though Trach was really wrong to warn a new server member not to get in between zet and Rune. The only times Jin had ever been banned anywhere was for snapping at people trying to talk zet down from arguing with Rune. Rune never reported zet or seemed bothered, no matter what Jin said, which was the only good thing about him.

Mostly the other server members just kind of ignored when Jin and Rune got into arguments, except to occasionally post popcorn gifs. Rune was friends with one of the mods, so Jin guessed the fact that the mods never stepped in or banned either of them when they were just going at each other was because he didn’t mind, or the mods thought he could take it, or something.

He hadn’t been a very active server member the last time the group had a meet up at a con Jin could get to, so Jin was kind of dreading meeting him in person. Ze figured ze’d have to try and ignore him, or else ze’d end up making a scene and getting kicked out. But ze really had a hard time ignoring his constant sexist asides, and then the inevitable “that’s not what I meant”, like they were still in school and intent meant fucking anything. Jin knew one occurrence of singling out omegas didn’t make him a hierarchical sexist pig, but he’d been doing it over and over again since he joined the server, and he “just happened” to parrot sexist fan theories about omega characters all the time. He would say things that seemed perfectly reasonable, and then all of a sudden he’d whip out something like that stupid stalker theory, and everyone else acted like it was a harmless opinion.

Granted, at least the people in the Champions server just acted like Jin had a thing about Rune specifically, and not like ze was some kind of joyless omega activist making a big deal out of nothing because LOL omegas are just so emotional! Ze’d been in so many fandom spaces that were completely hostile to omegas, even while claiming it was important to respect all genders. Which had confused zet when ze was younger, since fandom was almost entirely betas and omegas, and ze’d thought at least the other omegas would see where ze was coming from, but internalized misofinia was a hell of a thing, ze guessed.

Jin checked into the hotel attached to the convention center before ze headed over to pick up zet badge and program. By then, it was time for the Pangalactic Saga Champions meet-up, so ze headed over. When ze got to the statue the group designated as their meeting spot, there were a few people already there, including one unfamiliar face. Well, sort of unfamiliar.

“Hey DT,” said Wiz, waving at Jin.

“Hey everyone,” Jin said. Ze glanced at the name on the unfamiliar face’s badge and confirmed it was Rune. “Hmm,” ze said to him. “You’re taller than you look online.”

“It would be hard to only be a hundred pixels tall,” Rune said. He had a really deep voice, which was not at all how Jin had imagined his posts sounding.

Ze rolled zet eyes and started ignoring him to talk to the rest of the group. Rune did not appear bothered by this, and went back to talking to Wiz.

“I always forget how omega you dress,” Giggly said. “You spend so much time complaining about omega stereotypes.”

“Well given that I’m a real person and not a fictional damn character,” Jin said, “I can actually make a choice about how I dress.”

Ze was on the verge of going into a rant, but then Giggly said, “No, I know! But it’s weird to see you dressed so cute when you’re, you know. Rude.”

“It’s the twenty-first century, omegas can be cute and rude,” Flash said.

“DT is a master of character depth,” Trach said gravely. Jin flipped zet off.

They compared schedules and asked who had rooms in the attached hotel and who had to walk over from one of the other hotels.

“I wasn’t going to get a hotel room, since I’m only out in Glendale,” Rune said, “but my friend from work accidentally booked a double and I figured if I don’t have a forty-five minute drive in, I can actually go to 8AM panels.”

“Ooh, is this a friend from work or a ‘friend from work’?” Giggly asked.

Rune laughed. “She’s an alpha and she’s married,” he said. “She’s one of the judges for the cosplay contest.”

“Aw, Rune, just because she’s an alpha doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be interested,” Trach said. “I mean, if she wasn’t married.”

Rune gave zet a funny look. “Uh,” he said, “I’m an alpha too.”

“Oh!” Trach said. “Sorry, I just–there are so few alphas in fandom.”

“Are you seriously telling me you’re a paralphobe too?” Jin interjected, and everyone groaned.

“I wasn’t even talking to you,” Rune said.

“The idea that people can’t be with the same gender as they are is so regressive and ugly,” Jin said.

“I wish you were as dedicated to minding your own business as you are to putting words in my mouth,” Rune said.

“Did you not just say–“

“Okay, kids, this is not as cute in person as it is online,” Trach interrupted.

Jin crossed zet arms but shut zet mouth. Ze really didn’t understand how anyone could take his side when he was literally out here just being paralphobic.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned being an alpha on the server,” Rune said to Trach, as though Jin had said nothing.

“I thought you were joking,” Trach said.

“That would be fucked up,” Rune said. “I think DT would be justified yelling at me for that.” Trach laughed. Jin did not say ze had also thought he was joking. Or, if not joking, being evasive by giving an obviously false answer. Honestly, ze’d assumed he was one of those self-loathing omegas who tried to pretend he was a beta.

“I thought I’d get lunch at the Chili’s, does anyone want to come with me?” Wiz asked, and most of the people at the meet-up decided to go with zet. Jin waved them off, because ze had a panel ze really wanted to go to, and ze wasn’t sure ze’d get in if ze didn’t line up soon. Ze got an overpriced hot dog and bought a drink from a vending machine, and ate as ze walked across the convention center. There were already people in line when ze got there, but not many; if there weren’t too many people camped out from the last panel, ze might even be able to sit up front. Ze should really go to the eye doctor and get examined, because ze couldn’t see as well as ze used to, and it fucked with zet audio processing. Probably ze’d need glasses, which ze knew wasn’t the end of the world, but it hadn’t been that long ago that Everyone Knew Omegas Didn’t Wear Glasses, which Jin knew intellectually was gender essentialist bullshit predicated on limiting the roles of omegas in society, but emotionally it was hard to shake the conviction ze’d be ugly with glasses.

Ze sat down on the floor, hiking zet skirt over zet knees so ze could sit cross-legged, and pulled out the programming schedule. Ze’d known ze wanted to go to this panel since it was announced in the newsletter four months ago, but ze had a few hours on Sunday ze hadn’t planned yet, and ze really didn’t want to end up wandering aimlessly as everything shut down, the way ze had last year.

“Here’s your coffee,” a newly familiar voice said to Jin’s left, and ze looked up to see Rune, handing a cup to the woman in front of zet in line. “I got you a sandwich too, so Laci won’t worry.”

“I missed a last-minute signing to hold this spot for you,” the woman said, taking the sandwich as well. “Just so you know.”

“You’re the best friend a nerd could have,” Rune said to her, and they swapped places so he was standing in the line. The woman walked off with her coffee and sandwich, and Rune sank to the floor to wait.

He finally looked over and saw Jin, and made a face. “Oh,” he said. “Hi.”

Jin grunted. How was ze supposed to ignore him when they were going to be in this line together for the next hour?

“It wouldn’t kill you to pretend to be polite,” Rune muttered, and pulled out his phone.

“Why, so you can say something else paralphobic?”

“Oh my fucking god,” Rune said, and set his phone face-down on his lap. “It’s not paralphobic to mention that other alphas don’t hit on me. It’s a fact, you dickhead.”

“That’s not what you said though,” Jin said. “You said your co-worker was an alpha, like we should all just take it for granted that you would never be with another alpha.”

“No, I said she’s an alpha like you should all take it for granted that other alphas don’t hit on me,” Rune said. “I’m not paralphobic, but society sure is. You’re the one reading into it instead of asking what the fuck I meant, which is what you literally always do.”

“Maybe you should consider using your words like a grown-up and not implying things other people might not pick up on,” Jin said. “How is anyone supposed to just know you didn’t mean it the paralphobic way?”

“Maybe by paying attention for the last year and knowing that I’m not a paralphobe!” Rune said. “I know paying attention isn’t as exciting to you as jumping to conclusions, but most people don’t have so much trouble keeping basic facts straight.”

“I don’t see why I should pay attention to what you say after you claimed that Humiga is a stalker–“

Rune threw his hands up. “That was fourteen months ago!” he said. “I was wrong, you were right, I said I was wrong, I apologized even though you are the only person who was even remotely offended–“

“I was absolutely not the only one offended, it was completely playing into the misofinist stereotype about omegas being over-emotional and who gets to–” Ze stopped abruptly and looked around.

“What are you doing?” Rune asked after a second, less heated than a moment ago.

Jin turned back to him. “Uh,” ze said. Ze couldn’t remember. It seemed warmer now, but ze didn’t see anything that would explain that. Everything had just vanished from zet head.

Rune frowned. “Do you need some water?” he asked. “You look flushed.”

“Don’t act like you care about me,” Jin snapped.

Rune rolled his eyes. “I don’t have to like you to care about you,” he said. “Besides, if you passed out while I was here, Wiz and Trach would kill me.” He opened his bag and pulled out a water bottle. “Here,” he said.

Ze didn’t really want to take anything from him, but ze did feel warm. Maybe water would help. Ze uncapped the bottle and took a drink, and it was good, but it didn’t cool zet off at all. It almost felt like–

No, that was ridiculous. Ze’d taken zet suppressants like clockwork for months now, since zet insurance stopped covering zet last brand and ze had to switch to the stupid dailies. Ze wasn’t supposed to have another heat for almost six weeks.

Distractedly, ze handed the bottle back to Rune. He made to put it in his bag, then did a double take. He lifted it to his face and sniffed it. “Uh,” he said. “Deel, I think you’re going into heat.”

“I can’t be,” Jin said, but fuck, if Rune could smell it ze must be. How could it already be scentable if ze’d just now had a hot flash? It usually took at least eight hours to ramp up.

Rune leaned over and stuck his face in zet neck. “Jesus Christ, man,” Jin said, and started to lean away, but then ze got a whiff of something off him, which ze would have guessed was his shampoo or something, but the smell of shampoo didn’t go straight to zet junk like this did; ze swayed back toward him.

“You are definitely going into heat,” Rune said, and Jin was forced to nod. He got to his feet and pulled Jin up by zet shoulder. “You said online you got a room in the convention center hotel, right?”

“Yeah,” Jin said. Fuck, this was coming on really fast. Zet blood felt like it was pounding in zet ears and fingertips. “Yeah, I’m on three. I can–I’ll just go lock myself in.” Ze tried to tug zet arm out of Rune’s grip while ze straightened zet skirt.

Rune wasn’t having it. “There is no way I’m letting you walk around alone like this,” he said. “You look about five minutes away from inciting an orgy. I’ll walk you, no one will bother you if you’re with me.”

“Sexist bullshit,” Jin muttered, but if ze was going into heat, it wasn’t really. An alpha escort would keep away other alphas and betas, for the most part, and if ze was lucky it wouldn’t even reach the conscious level of anyone’s mind why they were all avoiding the two of them. Rune started walking toward the hotel, pulling Jin along with him.

“You already checked in, right?”

Of course ze’d already checked in, did ze look like ze was carrying luggage, ze thought, but all ze could manage to say was, “Mm-hmm.” The crowd of people they were walking through was starting to be completely anonymous to Jin, which was kind of troubling. Usually ze’d be honing in on a few people, who would turn out to be alphas close to the end of their cycle or other omegas, but the only person ze even remotely noticed was Rune. He certainly was an alpha, ze could smell that now, and he smelled fucking good. Too bad he was so obnoxious, because he smelled delicious. Ze reached for his hand, and he glanced at zet, then dropped his hold on zet arm to take zet hand.

The convention center hadn’t seemed this big when Jin was going to the meet-up or getting lunch. Of course, ze hadn’t been overheated and aroused then, with zet underwear rubbing distractingly against zet dick and damply against zet inner thighs. Ze hadn’t brought any of zet sex toys, because ze wasn’t supposed to go into heat. Ze could probably make do with the hotel showerhead, if it was the same as the one ze’d had last year, ze thought, but the idea was not as appealing as it should have been. Ze was already deep enough in it zet head was swimming, and ze felt like nothing but another person would satisfy zet. Fuck, this was happening way too fast, zet heats didn’t go this quickly, what was wrong with zet?

By the time they reached the hotel doors, Jin had wrapped zetself around Rune’s arm. Ze was having to concentrate to keep from rubbing zet tits against him, because zet nipples were positively aching. They managed to get an elevator going up to themselves, since almost everyone else was coming down. Jin suspected Rune would have told anyone trying to get in with them it wasn’t safe.

“What’s your room number?” Rune asked.

“Hmm?” Jin asked, and realized with horror that ze had, in fact, started rubbing zet tits against Rune’s arm.

“What room are you in on three?” Rune asked.

Jin forced zetself to concentrate, and dug the room key out of zet pocket. Ze kept it in the sleeve that had the room number on it, which wasn’t secure or whatever, but ze’d forget which room it was if ze didn’t have it written there. “312,” ze said. “It’s to the left.”

“Great,” Rune said. His voice seemed even lower now than it had before. How could Trach have ever not known he was an alpha? He smelled so goddamn strongly, he was like a teenager just presenting for the first time. Jin wanted to peel off all his clothes and lick him all over.

“I don’t know if I can take care of this on my own,” Jin realized.

“I kind of figured,” Rune said. The elevator doors opened, and he pulled zet down the hall to the left. They reached 312, and Jin had to wave the key card in front of the lock twice before it took. Rune followed zet in without asking. Ze pushed him up against the wall next to the door and pressed zet face into his neck. God, he smelled good, ze wanted to wrap zetself up in him. Ze only noticed him pushing the door closed and throwing the bolt distantly, as if it was happening far away or in another time.

“I think I triggered your heat,” Rune said. Jin ground zet hips against his. He was already getting hard as well. Jin wondered how long zet pheromones had been affecting him, but it didn’t matter that much, really, as long as he fucked zet.

“Someone must have,” Jin agreed, still grinding against him. “And you’re sure the one I want to fuck me.”

Rune groaned, and grabbed Jin by the hair to pull zet into a kiss. Christ, it felt good to taste him. Ze got up on zet toes so ze could get his bulge between zet legs, not just against zes, and Rune put his other hand on zet ass.

Jin was not terribly clear on the sequence of events from there. They got undressed. Somehow, none of their clothes got torn. Rune’s dick was stupidly, pornographically hard. Jin’s cock was almost as wet as zet cunt, which some distant part of zet might have found embarrassing, but Jin didn’t actually care about anything other than getting Rune inside of zet. Rune sucked on zet nipple while he stroked zet cock too hard, and Jin whined.

“Just fuck me already,” ze said. “Please, fuck, put it in me, I need it, I need you, Rune, please.”

Rune bit zet and ze gasped, but he dropped his hand down to zet cunt and thrust in several fingers. It was amazing, but it wasn’t his cock, so Jin resented it.

“Please,” ze whined again, thrashing around as much as ze could, with Rune pinning zet to the bed. “Please,” ze said, “your cock, I need it, just fuck me–“

And then he did, pushing zet legs apart and sliding his cock inside zet easily, despite its size. “Fuck,” he said.

“God, yes,” Jin said, “yes, thank you.” Ze was so wet, every time Rune moved in and out, their bodies made an obscene squelching noise. Rune bent down and kissed zet again, thrusting his tongue in like it was his right, and Jin moaned. Ze locked zet arms around his neck so they were skin-to-skin all the way down their bodies. One of Rune’s hands slid in between them to cup zet breast. God, zet tits had never been this sensitive, not since fucking puberty. Everywhere he touched ze lit up, like he was made just to give zet pleasure. Jin’s cock was trapped between their stomachs, sliding around in its own pre-come every time Rune moved in and out of zet.

Ze screamed when ze came. Rune kept going, panting against zet neck. They were both slick with sweat, and Jin’s hair was probably a mess, and Rune kept thrusting into zet like it was the only thing he wanted to do. Jin came again when ze felt Rune slam his hips against zet and flood zet insides with heat. No one had ever come inside zet before, and ze couldn’t quite remember why not, because it felt so fucking good holy shit.

Rune slumped against zet, still panting. He didn’t pull out, and Jin didn’t ask him to. Ze was still coming down, and it could wait until ze got zet heart rate under control.

Except then ze felt pressure, just inside zet entrance, and remembered Rune was a fucking alpha. Ze started shoving him, ineffectually because zet muscles were still weak and didn’t want to cooperate, and Rune took a minute to get the message. He pushed himself off zet and reached down between their bodies, then frowned when he met resistance. He looked down. “Shit,” he said, and Jin realized it was too late.

Jin groaned and thumped zet head against the bed. “Fuck,” ze said. “Fuck, this cannot be happening.”

“What, you think this has nothing to do with you going into heat early?” Rune asked, looking way more annoyed than someone with his dick sealed inside Jin’s cunt should have looked. He shifted his weight so he wasn’t pulling against zet, but wasn’t laying on zet again either. “I sent you into heat and you triggered my rut.”

“Don’t fucking say it like that, it’s not like this is some fucking romantic thing–“

“I didn’t say anything about romance, I’m talking about high school biology, you asshole.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s just pheromones or whatever. Our bodies think we should have babies, that’s an uncontrollable reflex.”

“Oh that reminds me,” Jin said, “you’re buying me Plan B.”

Rune sighed. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “That’s fair.”

Jin tried to shift, but there was only so much ze could do, pinned under Rune and stuck together at this angle for however long Rune’s knot lasted. Ze huffed. “How long does this usually last for you?” ze asked. Knotting was rare enough that it wasn’t really studied very well, and the range ze’d learned in school had been huge. The difference between five minutes and forty-five minutes with someone’s dick wedged inside you was pretty significant. Ze supposed ze was lucky they hadn’t been doing anal; ze’d heard about people having to go to the hospital when an alpha knotted their ass without enough prep.

“Dunno,” Rune said. “I’ve never knotted with a partner.”

“Fucking useless,” Jin muttered.

“Oh, pardon me for not doing the reading on fucking the most annoying person in my fandom,” Rune said. That was the first time Jin had heard him say something like that, and it annoyed zet even though ze frequently said the same (or worse) things about Rune. “Next time I unexpectedly go into rut I’ll figure it out ahead of time.”

“Don’t try to be smart with me,” Jin said. “You’re not clever enough.”

“I liked you a lot better when the only thing coming out of your mouth was begging me to fuck you,” Rune muttered.

Jin rolled zet eyes. “Can you pass me my phone? Maybe someone livetweeted the panel.”

Rune could not reach zet phone on his own, so they had to work together to wriggle over to where one of them could reach it. While they were there, Rune managed to snag his pants and pull out his phone too, so they spent the next twenty minutes checking the con tags and pretending they weren’t physically connected.

Rune’s knot finally went down enough for him to pull out, and at least he cleaned up, got dressed, and left fast enough. Jin wasn’t sure if it was safe for zet to go back to the con yet; theoretically getting rutted by an alpha should put an end to zet heat, but if zet suppressant wasn’t working and ze was still in heat, ze wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors trying to catch the 2:30 panel on transhumanism in speculative fiction. Ze took a long shower instead, bitter about missing so many panels ze’d been looking forward to.

By the time ze got out of the shower, ze was pretty sure ze was no longer in heat. Ze always found it basically impossible to take a shower without jerking off when ze was in heat, and it wasn’t even a tempting prospect right now. Zet dick felt oversensitive, even though Rune had barely touched it. Looking in the mirror revealed Rune had left several marks on zet upper body, but none of zet tops were low-cut enough for them to show, at least.

Ze bagged up the clothes ze had been wearing before, to keep the scent from getting all over everything. The hotel probably had laundry service, but it was only one weekend, and ze’d brought other clothes. Sure, that had been in case something, like, spilled on zet, not in case ze went into heat early, but at least ze wouldn’t have to resort to dirty clothes.

Ze moisturized, got dressed, and did zet hair. Ze was debating whether makeup would make zet feel better or worse (or even be worth it when ze’d just have to wash it off in a few hours) when there was a knock at the door.

Ze opened the door, and Rune was standing there. “Here,” he said, as soon as ze opened the door, and handed zet a plastic shopping bag. Jin looked inside, and it was a box of Plan B.

“Damn,” Jin said, impressed despite zetself. “That was fast.”

“Well, it works better the sooner you take it, right?” Rune said.

Jin left the door open and went back into the bathroom to fill a cup with water. Rune came in and closed the door behind him, then leaned in the doorway of the bathroom while Jin ripped open the box and looked at the instructions. Ze imagined it wasn’t rocket science, but ze wasn’t about to take a drug for the first time without at least checking the warnings.

“How are you?” Rune asked.

Jin shrugged. “Fine,” ze said. “A little sore, but it’s not bad. And this is sure the fastest I’ve ever been done with a heat.” Ze tore open the blister pack with zet nail and popped the first pill in zet mouth.

“Good,” Rune said. “So do I need to get tested?”

Jin chugged the cup of water. When it was empty, ze tossed it in the trash. “It couldn’t hurt,” ze said, “but I haven’t had sex with anyone since the last time I had to get tested, so you shouldn’t need to.”

Rune nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Neither have I, so we should both be good.”

“Great,” Jin said. Ze put zet hands in zet pockets. “So, how are you?”

“Fine,” Rune said. He shifted from one foot to the other. “Also kind of sore,” he said, not looking zet in the eye. “Like I said, I’ve never knotted inside anything.”

Jin nodded. They stood there in silence for a minute. Ze said, “Thanks for dropping this off.”

“You’re welcome,” Rune said.

There was another pause. Was accidental heat sex always so awkward, Jin wondered. In fiction, it always seemed either romantic or really rapey. But in fiction, they rarely talked about pregnancy scares or STI status, which was part of being a responsible person these days. “I guess I’ll see you later,” Jin said.

“Yeah,” Rune said. “See you.” He turned and left.

God, this almost would have been less awkward if he’d been a stranger. They were both in the server like every day, so even if they managed to avoid each other the rest of the weekend, it was still going to be weird. But he hadn’t been a dick about it, or insisted whatever body chemistry decided they just had to fuck immediately meant they were destined for each other or some stupid shit like that, so it could have been worse. Jin set an alarm on zet phone to remind zet to take the second dose of zet emergency contraceptive, turned off the lights, and went back to the con.


Hey DT, how was that panel on alternative gender systems in science fiction?

my fucking heat came early, so i missed it

Aw, that sucks. I know you were looking forward to it!

i think ruen was going to go to that one
you could ask him about it
he takes notes on panels he goes to sometiemes

Unfortunately I missed it too

but you didn’t go to lunch with us?
what happened
omg did you guys hook up

Rune did say he went into rut at the con though…

Having heat sex isn’t exactly “hooking up”

um yes it is???

wait you really fucked

That does sound like hooking up!

“hooking up” implies it was a choice
he fucked me through my heat, which was better than getting jumped by some stranger
it’s not like we’re going to date

no one said anything about dating
though since you bring it up?


not even a little

it does sound like a pretty classic enemies-to-lovers sitch y’all

It’s not.

it does sound like it though

Isn’t it really rare to have such a strong reaction to someone?
I mean, if DT went into heat early and then Rune rutted at the same time, that sounds like soulmate stuff.

Soulmates aren’t real.


you never expect your irl ships to come true, but here we are


oh my god i hate you


“So I wasn’t expecting to see you for a couple more months,” said Dr. Estrada, once she had closed the exam room door behind her. She sat down at the desk and turned to look at zet. “What’s up?”

“I went into heat early, even though I was taking my suppressants,” Jin said.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” she said. “How’d it go?”

“Um, one of my internet friends was there,” Jin said, “and he’s an alpha, so.”

“So you had sex with him,” Dr. Estrada said. Jin nodded. “Alright, so I’d like to do a pregnancy test, even if you remembered to use condoms.”

Jin shook zet head. “He went into rut, so. Neither of us was thinking about it.”

Dr. Estrada frowned and nodded. “Was this your first time spending time together offline?” she asked.


“And do you know if he has a mate or otherwise manages his cycle?”

“No, he’s single,” Jin said. “He did say he’d never knotted with a partner before, so I think that means it’s usually pretty under control.”

“Well, that sounds like exceptional hormonal compatibility triggering both of your reproductive cycles,” she said. “So unfortunately, I don’t think it’s likely to be a problem with your new suppressants. We could try a different formula if you’d like, but I’m not confident that would help.”

That was what Jin had figured, but it was still disappointing to hear. “Okay,” ze said. “So since I had sex with an alpha and my heat went away, should I be back on my old cycle, or will it like, start over?”

“That’s hard to say,” Dr. Estrada said. “Sometimes it goes one way, sometimes it goes the other. Either way, if you’ve been taking your suppressants as usual, it should settle down quickly. How far away would your heat be if you hadn’t had this incident?”

“Five weeks,” Jin said.

“So that’s almost the exact midpoint,” Dr. Estrada said, frowning. “I’d say if you haven’t had onset by six weeks from now, you should probably expect it twelve weeks from that early heat, which would be…another five or six weeks, I think.”

Jin nodded. “Okay,” ze said, “that’s good to know.” Dr. Estrada turned to take some notes in zet chart on the computer. This was easier to say with her facing away, which Jin knew was irrational, but there it was. Ze asked, “So are there any birth control methods I can use with my current suppressants? Besides condoms?”

“Well, non-hormonal methods are always an option,” she said. She typed a few more things, then turned back to face zet. “The only one you’d need me to sign off on, so to speak, would be a copper IUD, but I think we’ve already talked about how you don’t like that option. Let me check and see if any of the hormonal options are compatible with these suppressants.”

“Sure,” Jin said, and she turned back around and opened up a new window on the computer. “So if it’s just, uh, hormonal compatibility, our options are basically to stay away from each other.”

“I’m afraid so,” she said. “Well, or if you were regular sexual partners, especially during your heats, they should settle back into a regular rhythm, and not be so easily triggered, by him or any other alpha.” She didn’t ask zet how ze felt about either of those options, thankfully. After a moment, she turned back around. “So it looks like there are a few pill formulations that should work with your suppressants, and a new version of the implant.”

“Is that the one that goes in the arm?” Jin asked, perking up. That had seemed like the next best thing to an IUD, but without the vaginal installation that ze really didn’t want to deal with.

“It is,” Dr. Estrada said. “That’s a quick outpatient procedure that I or Jenni could do basically as soon as your pregnancy test comes back negative.”

“Then I think that sounds good,” Jin said. “Do you have a pamphlet or something?”

“Sure, I think so,” she said. As she rummaged in the filing cabinet drawers next to the desk, she said, “So do you also need an STI panel?”

“No, he said he hadn’t been with anyone since his last screening,” ze said.

“Alright, if you feel you can trust him to tell you the truth, it sounds like you’re in the clear on that,” she said. “I’m glad you seem to have talked so much to him about his status and sexual history.”

“Well, it was easier than if he was a stranger,” Jin admitted. “But I do know it’s important.”

“It is, and I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to take care of yourself this way,” she said. She handed zet a pamphlet, got down a pee cup from the cabinet above the desk, and handed that to zet as well. “If that’s all, you can go ahead and fill this up for me, drop it off at the lab, and schedule that implant insertion with either me or Jenni, and we’ll only call you if the pregnancy test comes back positive.”


beginning of private message history with Rune (1 shared server)

i’m not pregnant

Glad to hear it

tell me about it


Installing the implant was fine. And if zet insurance stopped covering it in the next year, it didn’t matter, because ze didn’t have to pick up another batch every month from the pharmacy.

Ze was occasionally envious of betas. Not in general, but specifically when it came to hormone management and birth control and all that, betas had so many more options. When Jin was growing up, the options were suppressants or birth control, because they interfered with each other, so you either got regulated, easy-going heats or the confidence you wouldn’t get pregnant. Well, or an IUD, but ze’d never been comfortable with the idea of IUDs.

Admittedly, the more frequent periods did sound annoying, but compared to the possibility of hormonally triggered sex with some rando who happened to be an alpha, which came coupled with the constant struggle between heat suppressants and birth control, ze thought ze’d pick the periods.

Not that ze really would, or could if ze wanted to, because ell oh ell, hormone therapy for people who presented as omegas was even more complicated than just trying to manage them, and the only thing that reliably worked was irreversible sterilization. Not that it was any better for alphas, at least the women, who had pretty much the same problem even if the hormones were different.

But even if it had been a possibility, ze really didn’t want it. Like, the idea of not having heats was great, even if it tripled the number of periods ze had, but the idea of being a different gender was really disconcerting. Sometimes ze thought about how ze could have presented as an alpha, and it did not feel good. Not that it had been likely; zet family was only betas and omegas for like three generations back, and while theoretically environment could impact presentation, practically Jin would have presented as omega unless ze’d somehow gotten stuck in an alpha-free separatist commune.

Quite apart from alphas having the same problem as omegas, with the involuntary sexual reactions, the idea of being a woman was almost…upsetting. Ze tried to imagine what it would be like and just couldn’t.

Now, if you could be an omega who didn’t have heats and didn’t react to alphas, but people still didn’t expect you to be a man or a woman, ze could get into that. But that wasn’t really possible, and ze wasn’t so into the idea ze’d want to try any experimental treatments, so it was a moot point.

Anyway, with suppressants and birth control that appeared to be working, it shouldn’t really matter that much. Ze was as close to not having heats as any omega could get, and that was the dream: not losing zet fucking mind four times a year and being willing to fuck literally anyone.


i’m going to kill my fucking boss

but also why
unless you’ve just gotten like. super radicalized since yesterday

i guess he’s a homophobe!
“well that’s fine for omegas but men and women are supposed to be heterosexual”

Oh no.


cool guy, love that combo homophobia and misofinia

Seriously? Aren’t you a scientist?
Your boss, I mean


oh no

first of all he got his fuckign degree in the seventies

oh god. that’s a terrible start

second of all he has tenure
so i can do fuck all about this ANYWYA
but he literally gave me a smug little lecture about reproductive fitness like that has anything to do with actual human beings

how did this even come up?

it was literally a “kids these days are too queer” rant he “treated” me to

oh my GOD

Oh, Flash, that’s terrible!

Can’t you complain to HR?

sure, but since it wasn’t “directed at me” it’s not actually “threatening or offensive language”


DT you need to go teach someone about microaggerssions


yeah i’ll be right there
i’ll walk right into the president’s office and everything will change after one speech
just like a movie

god i wish

i can’t believe people are still saying this garbage!

It’s very frustrating

at least i’m not an alpha 🙃
i’m sure he has some strong opinions about paralphas 🙃

He would have a point there, though.
Like, of course most alphas aren’t going to be interested in other alphas, they can’t reproduce together.

Boiling all human relationships down to reproduction is dehumanizing.

worse than dehumanizing, actually
isnce other anitlams also have relationships that aren’t about reproduction

But that’s where the instincts come from originally.

yeah and my color vision originally comes from gathering berries or whatever but that doesn’t mean i can’t use it to paint

wati DT are you AGREEING with Rune???

That’s fair, but paintings also don’t have their own instincts telling them to be a different color.

ok but you don’t know someone’s gender by looking at them
like maybe you can make some guesses, sometimes, and be partially right, but like

well, he’s saying something sensible for once, so
like i’m not going to argue in favor of homophobia


to be like “oh that dude is hot” and then be like “nvm” as soon as you find out he’s an alpha instead of a beat is like
textbook homophobia
that’s not an instinct at that point, that’s cultural conditioning

It also carries an implication that paralpha desire is unnatural
Which is another textbook bigot idea

I don’t know if that’s textbook homophobia, but it is pretty classic transphobia.
Or racism/xenophobia?
There’s a lot going on there, actually.

ok like rune said, tetxbook bigotry then

I don’t mean it’s right, just that it’s understandable. Like it or not, humans evolved to do certain things, and reproduction is one of them.

that’s verring dangerously into evopsych, Saz

We also evolved to be arboreal scavengers in Africa. We’re more than our evolutionary instincts.

it’s also worth noting that social species are not necessarily optimized for “every individual reproduces”

oh yeah the first thing i think about when i’m checking someone out is “how successful would our babies be”

so idk if that argument even makes sense to apply to humans

That line of reasoning also gets pretty close to aphobia!
As well as shaming people who are childless by choice.

Wait, what’s wrong with evolutionary psychology?

several people are typing…


It got warmer outside, and then hot. Jin made an appointment with an optometrist, and it got canceled a few days before ze was going to go in, because there was some kind of problem in the office building, and could ze call back and reschedule? Ze forgot, and then one of zet coworkers took a vacation and ze was swamped with work deadlines, and then, it had been six weeks since the con, and zet heat started to come on again.

Ze thought about weathering it and just jerking off a lot, the way ze’d been doing since presentation. Then ze thought about how zet heat had only lasted as long as it took Rune to fuck zet at the con, and how Dr. Estrada had said zet heats would be both regular and harder to trigger if ze was having sex with Rune on a regular basis. Ze got out zet phone.

hey i’m starting my heat do you want to come over


you said at the con you were local
and sitting here in heat for three days sounds fucking stupid when you could just fuck me out of it
to be clear, i am only suggesting sex
like you come over, hit it, and quit it
we don’t have to talk or anything
the sex was really good
for me
i mean i assume it was good for you too
since you knotted and everything

Okay, send me your address
I’ll head over after I get off work

The first words out of Rune’s mouth when he got to Jin’s apartment were, “I brought condoms.”

“Cool,” Jin said, closing the front door behind him. “Though I’m on birth control now.”

Rune frowned. “Were you planning this?” he asked.

“Not everything is about you,” Jin said, rolling zet eyes. “I had to change suppressants last winter or I would have been on one anyway.” Which wasn’t completely true, but that was none of his business.

“Whatever,” Rune said. “You want to go to the bedroom?”

“God, yes,” Jin said. Talking to him was clearly a waste of time, but Jin was already annoyingly horny. Zet memories of the last time weren’t particularly clear, but they were pretty definite on the subject of whether or not Jin had enjoyed zetself. Ze led him to the bedroom and was glad ze managed to remember to change zet sheets earlier.

Rune tossed a box of condoms on the bed and started taking off his shirt. That was something Jin could appreciate, undressing without saying anything else. Ze stripped out of zet jeans and top before sitting on the bed to watch him.

He was attractive. Jin kind of wished he wasn’t, but then again, ze probably wouldn’t be in this situation if ze didn’t find him attractive, right? Obviously zet body thought he was desirable for whatever reproductive reason, and that translated into thinking he was hot.

He didn’t look like a stereotypical alpha. His hair was shaggy, he wasn’t that tall, and okay, his shoulders were pretty broad, but he didn’t look like a Hollywood Alpha. His nose was crooked and he had freckles and he was a fucking nerd. Though Jin suspected even if ze wasn’t going into heat ze would have been into watching him shimmy out of his work trousers.

He didn’t say anything when he was naked, just walked over and climbed onto the bed. He pulled Jin down on top of him and kissed zet. It was kind of embarrassing how hard and wet Jin was already, when Rune wasn’t hard at all, but presumably he would be soon if their hormones were that compatible.

He was a good kisser. Not that Jin was in a position to be picky, as zet heat accelerated the longer ze was around him. It was so fucking weird going from what was usually hour six of heat to hour thirty-two in less than ten minutes, but it was a lot nicer to have someone kissing zet and grabbing zet ass while ze did it.

Rune was pretty damn hard by the time he pulled back and asked, “Can I go down on you?”

“Fuck yes,” Jin said. Ze rolled off him to peel off zet underwear, and he crawled down to settle between zet legs.

Jin wasn’t totally sure what to expect, because some people had a really strong preference for either cock or cunt, but ze didn’t bother asking, because ze enjoyed it either way. Rune started with zet cock, and didn’t back off when Jin’s hips jerked reflexively, trying to thrust into his mouth. He pulled off and made his wet way down to zet cunt, and wrapped one hand around zet cock while he spread zet lips with his tongue.

Jin’s thighs were trembling by the time Rune swapped his mouth and his hand, sucking on the head of zet cock while he slid his fingers into zet. Ze didn’t feel completely lost to zet heat yet either; Rune was just that enthusiastic. He was good at fingering, too, or else Jin was turned on enough it didn’t matter. He stroked zet g-spot while he took zet cock down to the base, and Jin came dry.

Rune groaned around zet cock. He pulled off again, using enough suction that it was just this side of overwhelming, and reached down to squeeze his own cock, like he was on the verge of coming himself.

“Jesus Christ,” Jin said, panting. “You good?”

He nodded, though he was more flushed than Jin had ever seen him. He slid his fingers out of zet cunt and crawled back up the bed to kiss zet again. His cock nudged against zes, and he ground their hips together. Jin wrapped zet legs around him, and he groaned into zet mouth. Ze pulled away and said, “Are you gonna fuck me or what?”

He huffed, and reached between them to drag his cock down to zet entrance. He was about to push inside when he paused, and looked up at zet, frowning. “Condom,” he said.

Jin hadn’t ever credited the monosyllabic caveman alpha stereotype, but it did seem like Rune was having trouble stringing together words. Ze told zetself it wasn’t cute. “Fuck condoms,” ze said. “I liked feeling you come inside me.”

Rune bit his lip hard enough it looked painful, but he started to press in, slowly. Once again, Jin could hear the wet noises zet body made as Rune moved inside zet. Rune bent over zet, pressing his face into zet neck as he thrust in and out. His hands were almost too tight on zet hips, digging into zet flesh a little. Bent over like this, his stomach rubbed against Jin’s cock every time he moved. The stimulation in both places was too much so soon after zet last orgasm, and ze came quickly, this time shooting come all over Rune’s stomach.

Rune groaned into zet neck. “You feel so good,” he murmured. “God, Deel.”

Jin said, “Don’t stop, please, don’t stop.”

Rune groaned again and snapped his hips forward.

It took him a bit longer to come, but it never stopped being enjoyable, having him moving inside and on top of Jin. Even though ze’d come twice now, ze was still not overstimulated or tired. Ze supposed ze was well into zet heat now, and zet body would hardly let zet be averse to getting fucked by an alpha. Especially since it seemed to think Rune was the best possible lay.

Jin wasn’t hard again when Rune came, but he had started sucking on zet tits so ze wasn’t exactly unaffected. He gasped against zet skin as he came, sounding almost pained. Embarrassingly, the feeling of him coming inside zet set off a small orgasm of zet own, which ze was absolutely going to chalk one hundred percent up to alpha/omega sex instincts.

Rune slumped on top of zet and once more buried his face in zet neck. It was less alarming to feel his knot swell inside zet this time, since ze was prepared for it. It felt kind of good, and for the first time Jin understood the people who fantasized about getting fucked while the knot was swollen. Yes, it was undoubtedly a stretch, but those first few inches of vagina were the most sensitive anyway, so it wasn’t like he’d have to get that far in.

“My name is Alex,” Rune muttered into Jin’s neck.


He moved his head so his mouth wasn’t muffled by Jin’s skin. He said, “You sound like an idiot calling my screen name during sex. My actual name is Alex.”

“I was not calling your fucking name,” Jin said automatically, but honestly ze probably had been. It wasn’t zet fault zet stupid body loved Rune’s–excuse zet, Alex’s, dick so much.

“Sure,” he said, not sounding at all like he believed zet.

After a minute, Jin said, “I guess you can call me Jin.” Alex grunted an acknowledgement.

Being stuck together like wasn’t so bad when they weren’t missing a panel ze’d been looking forward to for months, but it was weird. It wasn’t exactly cuddling, but it wasn’t exactly not cuddling. Alex was laying on top of zet with his face in zet neck, and ze still had zet arms around him. It wasn’t like there was any other place to put them, unless ze spread out like a starfish and just let Alex cling to zet.

“So were you thinking we’d do this again?” Alex asked after a few minutes.

“Yeah? It’s pretty convenient for me,” Jin said. “And it should regulate your cycle too.”


“I mean, this is definitely the most I’ve ever liked you,” Jin said.

Alex snorted. “Same,” he said. “But I did just get back on OKCupid and I was kind of hoping to actually date someone.”

“I don’t need exclusive rights to your dick,” ze said. “Like, tell me if you’re having unprotected sex with someone else, but otherwise I couldn’t give less of a shit what you do when I’m not in heat.”

“Good,” Alex said. “That would’ve been pretty much a deal-breaker.”

Jin reached over to zet bedside table and grabbed the bottle of water ze kept there. Ze drank half of it, and were about to put it back when Alex made a grabby hand. They slowly shifted so Alex could get upright enough to take a drink, and he drained the rest of the water.

“Also,” Alex said, handing the empty water bottle back to Jin, “you have to tell me if you develop feelings for me.”

Jin laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think you need to worry about that,” ze said.

“Just want to cover all the bases,” he said.

They laid there another few minutes in silence. It was almost possible to like him like this; literally just a body pressing Jin into the mattress. It was kind of soothing.

Eventually Alex said, “If you want to have sex outside of your heat, I’d be… interested.”

“I bet you would,” Jin said.

“Fuck off,” Alex said, without any heat at all. “It’s supposed to help keep us both regular.”

“True,” Jin said, because that had, after all, crossed zet mind too. Ze just hadn’t really expected him to bring it up first. “Yeah, okay, I guess I could go for this more often than every twelve weeks.”


Alex’s knot finally went down and he could pull out. They cleaned themselves up and got dressed. Alex took the box of condoms back.

“Hey,” Jin said, “what if I want to fuck someone else?”

“Buy your own condoms,” Alex said. “These are mine.”

As he was leaving, Jin said, “Hey, don’t tell the Champions about this.”

“I would literally rather kill myself,” Alex said flatly, which was melodramatic but honestly, so would Jin. Giggly and Trach kept making sly little comments about their latent feelings or whatever the fuck they thought was going on. “Later.”


Do you have plans this weekend?

i’m busy friday night but otherwise no

Can I come over on Saturday?



Jin understood now why omegas in history would just hook up with alphas to deal with their heats. It worked better than any suppressant ze’d ever been on, plus the heats basically ended as soon as Alex knotted zet, instead of lasting several days. Like, ze could definitely see how this could turn into a weird possessive relationship where the omega partner was considered property, but that was a culture thing, so it hadn’t even happened everywhere. And Alex had never tried to tell Jin what to do–at least, as far as whatever their relationship was; he still had such terrible opinions about Pangalactic Saga Jin suspected he was intentionally baiting zet–and was generally very good about coming over every week or two for sex, and leaving almost immediately afterward.

They weathered two more heat/rut cycles like that. The sex was great, and as long as neither of them said anything about anything else, they got along fine. Okay, yes, Alex did act like ze was an idiot when ze told him he could go harder if he wanted, and then had to admit when he asked that ze didn’t particularly want that, ze just wanted Alex to know he could if he wanted that–which like, yes that was a stereotype, but how many alphas had Jin’s omega ass talked to about what rut is like? Zero, so ze was having to go off media, and both the weirdest porn and the most vanilla romance movies agreed that alphas in rut wanted to go hard, so how was ze supposed to know?–but that was probably fair. And it didn’t bother Jin nearly as much as someone else acting like ze was an idiot would, because ze did not and never had cared about Alex’s opinion.

And now that ze was regularly fucking him, and not just losing zetself in a heat haze to animal instinct, it was clearly not just the heat that made the sex good. Probably their hormones did have something to do with how fast they both got into it, and how intense it always was, but nine times out of ten when they had sex, neither of them was hormone-impaired, and it was still really fucking good. Jin would have understood everyone on the server saying how nice Rune was if they’d been talking about his cock. Or his fingers. Or his mouth.

Alright, so he was a generous and attentive lover. He still said stupid shit all the time and acted like it was Jin’s fault for reading into his literal words instead of ever owning up to the possibility he could have phrased things better. Except now sometimes if one of them forgot who they were with and tried to start a conversation that inevitably turned into an argument, Alex would kiss zet or stick his hand in zet underwear, and even though it was a blatant derailing tactic, it was also effective, because neither of them could concentrate on an argument when they were having sex.

Which, to be honest, had not been the case the last time Jin had dated someone. Ze could easily hold on to an argument during sex with Mason, and it had not been good for the relationship. Ze hadn’t thought at the time there was anything wrong with the sex ze had with Mason, but he hadn’t been nearly as annoying as Alex, so the sex couldn’t have been that good.

“Can I ask you something personal?” Jin said one day, when Alex knotted zet and they had to wait it out.

“Why not,” Alex said. “It’d be a nice change from the assumptions.”

“It’s not my fault you don’t–” Jin forced zetself to stop. Not only was it not the point, it was probably unwise to knowingly antagonize someone doing zet sexual favors every week. Especially since they were literally stuck together for at least another ten minutes. Ze started over, and asked, “Are you paral?”

Alex sighed. “I guess you did say it was a personal question,” he said. “Yeah. Obviously not exclusively,” he said, with a little gesture that indicated their current physical situation. “Why do you ask?”

Jin had never actually met an alpha who would admit to being attracted to other alphas. Ze knew a lot of them didn’t really talk about it, and statistically ze’d known other paralphas, but ze’d never known it.

Ze did not say that. Ze shrugged and said, “Just curious. Apart from that time at the con, I don’t think you’ve ever said anything paralphobic where I could see. Or hear.”

“Which is quite an accomplishment,” Alex said. “Given how incredibly dedicated you are to taking everything I say in the worst possible way.”

“Words mean things whether you want them to or not,” Jin said automatically. Inwardly wincing at zet own tone, which ze really hadn’t meant to be quite so rude, ze added, “You’re not usually that careful. So I thought maybe you had a reason to actually be thoughtful.”

“If you’re trying to give me a compliment, you’re really fucking bad at it,” Alex said.

“Ew, no,” Jin said, making a face. “I’m just making conversation.”

“Extremely personal conversation,” Alex said.

“You came inside me not five minutes ago, I think ‘extremely personal’ was already on the table,” Jin said. “Anyway, you wanted to know why I asked. That’s why I asked.”

“So if I actually start carefully considering the implications of literally every word I say,” Alex said, “I can expect more of these personal conversations? That’s quite a disincentive to watch my words.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Jin said. “I’ll never ask you anything ever again, how’s that for a fucking incentive.”

“Now that’s actually tempting,” Alex said.


got to have my monthly “what’s that groupchat you’re always talkikng about even about” talk
well you see, sometimes when a show is cancelled it breaks people
and five years later they still hold screenings and make all their friends watch it but then their friends get tired of hearing about it
so they join a forum and splinter into regional groups for screenings and meet-ups
and then contineu to hang out for five more years
the longer the show’s been off the air, the more confused people are lmao

it doesn’t help that taggert is out there showing his ass constantly nowadays

Oh boy, and how.

every time i tell someone about the show they’re like “oh…isn’t that one of ross taggert’s shows”
yes but
actually i have no defense
it’s really good but i definitely understand it’s a harder sell nowadays!

To be fair, we rarely discuss the show anymore.

except when rune gets angry about whatever he read on tvtropes
well, when rune gets DT angry about whatever he read on tvtropes

Also to be fair, some of those theories come from Reddit!
Yes, I know I need to stop going on Reddit. I have a problem.

Honestly, it’s a little amazing PGS holds up so well. Some of his earlier shows are…not as good to rewatch.

The last time I tried to rewatch MA I actually stopped halfway through an episode and went to a liquor store instead.

fuck, mage academy was so good
i mean, it wasn’t
but boy that shitty show sure changed my little teen life

LOL, MA is what I was thinking of.
It’s just…so racist. So, so racist.

It sure is!

so i should not watch mage academy, is what i’m hearing

lmao you’d have a fucking rage aneurysm

you spelled aneurysm right on the first try???
wiz i’ve seen you mess up your own name how did you spell aneurysm right???

maybe from now on i will explain this server as “thr groupchat of miscellaenous nerds where everyone constantly roasts my typos”

lmao thr


I will say, at least Mage Academy put more thought into the romances than “they’re an alpha and an omega, could I make it any more obvious”.
You could probably watch a top 10 ship moments compilation on youtube without getting too much of the racism.

you are forgetting about the bullshit with sharlene but yeah
ma definitely had baby’s first paralpha ship

Oh god, Sharlene. Yeah, that’s pretty classic misofinia I guess.

does ze die or get pregnant

both, of course

It’s also pretty rapey about zet heat.

nooo I had forgotten about sharlene why would you do this to me
ze was the only reason i watched mage academy
i stopped before ze died because i was so upset about the victim-blaming about zet heat

Giggly, were you even old enough to watch MA when it was airing?

in hindsight…not at all

okay, i am never watching mage academy, thanks guys


The most annoying thing about fucking an alpha was how whether or not he knotted seemed completely random. Like obviously when Jin was in heat he’d do it, but otherwise it was only most of the time. It seemed annoying to Jin, to have a less predictable cycle, but Alex said it didn’t happen at all when he was just masturbating or on the rare occasion (three times, in the last six months) he actually had sex with someone he went on a date with, so at least it was just with zet and not completely random.

The other annoying thing, which was more about Alex than him being an alpha, was his day job. When Jin’s heat started to come in during the day, ze had to wait until Alex was off work to come fuck zet. Which wouldn’t have been a big deal six months ago, but now ze found any extra hours of heat irritating, because ze’d gotten spoiled by how short they were now. But he usually came over pretty fast, and would get dinner on the way, so they could get right to the sex, so Jin grudgingly waited for Alex to show up.

It passed six-thirty and Jin frowned at zet phone. Sometimes traffic was bad, though, especially on Fridays, so ze told zetself not to worry. Except Alex hadn’t even texted zet that he was on his way. But sometimes he didn’t do that, it was fine; zet heats were super regular now so Alex just came over without telling zet, because he knew ze needed him.

Then it was after seven. He almost never took until seven. As far as Jin’s body was concerned, ze should have already been fucked by then. Ze opened up zet phone and messaged him.

hey are you ok
or like. on your way yet
i’m dyinggg

He wasn’t online. Well, if he was driving, that was fair, right? But then five minutes went by. Then ten. Then twenty. It only took twenty minutes to get from his work to Jin’s house, and if it was taking longer, he should have let zet know by now.

Ze huffed and scrolled up in their message history. Ze hadn’t saved his phone number, since they always talked through Discord, but zet heat demanded a phone call to nag him more directly.

His phone rang, and rang, and rang. It went to voice mail. Jin groaned, and when it beeped, ze said, “Where are you? Are you okay? If you’re okay I’m going to fucking kill you. But only after you fuck me. You know I went into heat today right? You’re supposed to be here already.” Ze hung up. God, how did ze live before this? Like yes, ze could masturbate until Alex got there, but ze shouldn’t have to. Sex was so much better at relieving heat-horny.

After another five minutes with no response, ze called him again. This time, Alex picked up. Before ze could even say anything, he said, “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I forgot, I’m on a date right now.”

“You forgot?” Jin said. Shrieked. Look, ze was in fucking heat and zet alpha forgot about zet.

And then he started talking to someone else! “No, it’s my–uh, mate, I guess? Ze’s in heat, I was supposed to–“

“Oh my god,” Jin said loudly. “Are you coming over tonight or not?”

“Um, yeah,” Alex said. “Sorry,” he said, presumably to his date. “I really should go. Uh, I don’t know, usually like an hour or two?”

“Oh my god just bring them with you,” Jin said. “You can go right back to your date as soon as I’m not in fucking heat.”

“What? No, sorry, ze–ha, uh, ze just said that it would be okay,” Alex said. Back into the phone, he said, “Uh, I guess Valera and I will be over in like–I don’t know, fifteen minutes?”

“Oh thank god,” Jin said. “I’m dying.”

“Yeah, sure,” Alex said. He hung up without saying goodbye, which Jin would usually have thought was rude but honestly, who gave a shit about politeness when ze was still in heat? And, to be fair, he was trying to juggle a phone conversation and an IRL conversation with his date, while admitting he had fucked up and double-booked himself. Jin was not usually inclined to be fair to Alex, but he had just told zet he’d be here in fifteen minutes, so ze was feeling charitable.

Ze was waiting by the door fifteen minutes later. There was a knock, and ze yanked open the door before Alex could even knock a second time. “Hi, sorry,” Alex said. He walked into the room, having to push Jin out of his way because ze was not really up to purposefully moving away from him at this stage. There was a woman behind him; she didn’t smell particularly like an alpha or an omega, though it was harder to tell these days, when Jin was so tuned into Alex’s scent specifically. Other people’s scents barely registered, even when ze was in heat. “This is Valera,” Alex said. He turned to her and said, “You can wait out here I guess–“

“Actually, sorry,” Valera said, interrupting, “I was wondering if it would be okay if I watched?”

Alex blushed, which Jin had never seen. Ze wondered if he and Valera had already had sex. They had to have talked about Jin and Alex’s cycle management relationship, or he probably wouldn’t have been able to bring it up so casually.

“Sure, I don’t care,” Jin said. Alex was dating her, apparently, which didn’t speak well to her taste but Jin assumed meant ze could trust her. “Alex?”

“Uh,” Alex said, still blushing. “Yeah, okay.”

“Great!” Valera said. “You should probably go fuck zet now.”

Jin agreed, which was why ze grabbed Alex’s wrist and dragged him to zet bedroom. Presumably Valera followed them, though Jin was really having trouble thinking about anything other than getting Alex’s dick inside zet. Ze basically ripped zet clothes off as soon as they were in zet bedroom. It had been nine months since ze felt a heat this strongly, and ze was not patient at all.

Alex pushed zet onto zet back and crawled on top of zet. He leaned in to kiss zet, and Jin moaned into his mouth. Ze wrapped zet arms around his neck and hitched zet legs up around his hips. He was still wearing his underwear, which was obnoxious, but he did usually take some foreplay time for himself, to get as into it as Jin’s heat made zet. It wasn’t like he was going to stop halfway through, ze guessed. He never had so far.

“Oh, you really are an alpha, aren’t you,” Valera said, sounding pretty turned on herself. Well, she must be a beta then, if she hadn’t smelled it before now.

Alex groaned and bent down to bite Jin’s neck. Jin whined, “You are such a fucking tease.” Valera laughed. Her voice was pretty sexy, actually; it was not at all detracting from the experience of Alex fucking zet.

Jin attempted to grind zet hips up against Alex’s, but he was kissing his way down zet chest and the angle wasn’t great. He took one of zet breasts in his hand, and the other in his mouth. Six months in to regularly having sex, he had a pretty solid grasp on what ze liked, and ze threw zet head back and swore.

Jin was pretty sure there was a goddamn wet spot on the sheets under zet by the time Alex made his way down to zet junk; zet heat had come on fast, anticipating his arrival, and ze was in the worst throes of it now. He finally rubbed his face between zet legs and Jin almost cried from relief. He didn’t spend as much time going down on zet as he usually did, thank fuck, and when he moved back up zet body to kiss zet again, he’d taken off his underwear and went right ahead pressing his cock into zet. Jin whimpered and immediately locked zet ankles behind his ass.

Alex fucked into zet hard enough that he had to stop kissing zet almost immediately, instead burying his face in zet hair and breathing hard. Jin was vaguely aware ze was babbling the usual inane pleas and swears, and might have been embarrassed at someone other than Alex hearing zet like this if ze hadn’t had to put up with two more hours of heat than usual.

Jin came once, splashing extremely thin come across both their bodies, which took some of the edge off. Ze looked over at Valera, to see what she looked like now that ze could actually focus on something other than Alex. It might have just been zet heat talking, but she was actually really hot. She had high cheekbones and a strong jaw, and the flush and heaving chest from watching her date fuck someone didn’t hurt.

She smirked at zet when she saw zet looking at her. “Feeling better?” she asked.

“Oh, you know,” ze said, attempting to sound blase. Ze must have done an alright job, because she laughed.

Alex groaned. “Ruining my date wasn’t enough?” he asked. “You have to flirt with her too?”

“It doesn’t seem very ruined from where I’m sitting,” Valera said, throatily. Alex shivered, which Jin took to mean ze wasn’t the only one who thought she had a sexy voice. Alex’s next thrust was particularly deep, and Jin couldn’t keep from crying out again. “God,” Valera said. “I hope neither of you mind if I get myself off.”

Alex made a choked noise next to Jin’s ear and pressed his face harder against zet neck. Jin managed to say, “Be our guest.”

Alex grabbed zet face and turned it to face him, then kissed Jin as aggressively as he ever had. Fuck, maybe ze should invite his dates to watch them more often.

Jin’s cock slid easily against both of their bodies, wet and hot and pressed tight between them as Alex thrust into zet. It almost felt like zet was both fucking someone and being fucked at the same time, and even though zet heat was no longer the overwhelming feeling it had been before ze came once, it felt too good to not affect zet. It didn’t take long for zet to forget about Valera again, lost entirely to Alex’s tongue in zet mouth and his cock moving inside zet and zet cock sliding between their bodies. Ze came again the instant before Alex groaned into zet mouth and came himself, cock pulsing inside zet.

“Jesus Christ,” Valera said.

After a moment, Alex started laughing. He looked over at her. “Do you need a hand?” he asked, grinning.

“Yes please,” she said.

“Come here,” he said. She kneeled on the bed and leaned over to kiss him. Possibly this should have been awkward, given Alex’s dick was still inside Jin, but watching Alex kiss the hot lady he’d brought with him was not a hardship. He immediately reached between her legs and she groaned. He was a little less forceful than Jin would have been, but ze supposed she was his date and he could probably judge how she liked to be touched better than Jin could.

It was kind of nice, actually, watching two attractive people make out right in front of zet, with Alex’s knot still holding them together. It felt fucking decadent.

Valera reached down to undo her jeans, and Alex reached in and pulled out a cock.

“I thought you were a beta,” Jin said, and regretted it as soon as zet ears heard what ze’d just said. How many fucking times had ze read and nodded along to people saying genitals didn’t equal gender? Like, was it any of Jin’s business why someone did or did not have a dick?

Alex whipped his head around so fast Valera was left kissing the air and falling forward for a second. “Are you kidding me?” he said. “You spend two years calling me a sexist and a homophobe and then you’re transphobic at my girlfriend? Oh my god, I have to tell the server about this, holy shit.”

“No you don’t,” Valera said, swatting Alex’s shoulder, sounding, thankfully, less angry than she might have. “You don’t get to out me just to dunk on your other partner.”

“Sorry,” Jin said, “I wasn’t thinking.”

“I thought that wasn’t an excuse,” Alex said, snottily. Fuck him, Jin didn’t sound like that.

“Can you please argue about who’s more problematic later?” Valera asked, a little desperately. She rocked her hips forward, pressing her cock more firmly against Alex’s hand.  “Also don’t think I didn’t notice that sudden upgrade to girlfriend,” she said, smiling. Alex blushed.

Jin had to bite back further apologies. Ze’d read that apologizing repeatedly did not actually make people feel better about being misgendered, and ze assumed that extended to saying other stupid transphobic shit. It was probably easier than it might otherwise have been, because watching them make out some more while Alex stroked her cock was an effective distraction.

Valera groaned into Alex’s mouth, and Jin felt Alex attempt to jerk his hips forward. His knot kept him from doing it, of course, but even the attempt at shifting was intense, and ze gasped. Valera reached for zet hip, then stopped and pulled back. “Sorry,” she said, taking a very short break from kissing Alex.

“Oh, please,” Jin said, “go right ahead.”

Alex jerked against Jin again as Valera slid her hand over to zet cock. Whether that was because he found it hot, or because Jin squeezed around him, Jin couldn’t say. He stroked her cock while she stroked Jin’s, and Jin wished ze could do more but Alex’s knot was still inside zet. Even when one or both of them rocked a bit, it didn’t really budge, so there was a limit to how much ze could move. Christ, but ze could really see the appeal of being fucked with a knot now; it felt good when either of them moved. It would take some effort but ze could see how it might be worth it.

Valera pulled away from Alex for a moment to ask, “Is ze always this loud?”

“Pretty much,” Alex said. Jin hadn’t even realized ze’d been making noise.

“I’m sure you could think of a few ways to shut me up,” ze said, and Valera laughed.

She slid her hand down to the base of zet cock, and squeezed. Jin gasped again. “I’m sure I could,” she said, “but I think I’d have to stop doing this if I did.”

“I like how loud ze is,” Alex said, which was news to Jin; he’d never said anything about it, apart from that one crack about how ze sounded stupid calling his screen name during sex.

“Of course you do,” Valera said, fondly. “But think how cute ze’d be with my cock in zet mouth.”

They both made incoherent groans at that, and she laughed. She kissed Alex one more time, then climbed up the bed to swing her legs over Jin’s shoulders.

Jin had never actually gone down on Alex. Ze didn’t know if he didn’t like it, or just didn’t want to ask, and ze always got very distracted by other things when he was there, so ze hadn’t brought it up. That meant it had been more than a year since someone’s dick had been right up in zet face like this, and ze was surprised by how much ze’d missed it.

“I can’t see,” Alex whined.

“Ugh,” Jin said. Ze nudged Valera’s thigh, and she climbed off zet to one side. Ze twisted, so zet upper body was on its side but zet hips weren’t putting too much pressure on the intersection of zet and Alex’s bodies. As good as it felt when one of them tried to move against Alex’s knot, it could very easily tip over into overwhelming or painful if they pushed it. Valera scooted around to resettle herself to Jin’s side, and Jin propped zetself up on zet elbow so ze could still reach her cock. Without asking Alex if that was better, since Jin could see his face now, ze bent down and took Valera’s cock in zet mouth.

“God,” Alex said.

Valera reached down and cupped one of Jin’s tits. Ze groaned around her cock, and she giggled. Alex made a strangled noise and wrapped one of his hands around Jin’s cock.

Valera stroked Jin’s chest and neck and told zet how pretty ze was, while Jin put as much enthusiasm into sucking her cock as ze could muster, and Alex watched them and touched Jin’s cock until ze was all but dripping. It didn’t take very long for Valera to come, and Alex immediately bent down to kiss Jin and, apparently, to suck the remaining come out of zet mouth. Ze came again like that, spilling more thin come across Alex’s hand as he licked zet mouth clean.

“Haha, wow,” Valera said. She slumped over to lean on the headboard. “Is it always like that?”

“Pretty much,” Alex said. He’d collapsed on top of Jin, his face buried in zet hair, like usual. He also had a hand on Valera’s leg, next to his head.

“More beautiful women than normal this time,” Jin said, and Valera laughed.

It took slightly longer than usual for Alex to get cleaned up and dressed. Jin didn’t mind, as it let zet spend more time talking to Valera. He might have bad opinions about television, but Alex did appear to have excellent taste in women. Eventually, though, they were all cleaned up and dressed and ready to go. On the way out the door, Valera said very seriously to Jin, “It was wonderful to meet you.”


hey so you and valera aren’t monogamous or anything are you

It would be fucked up to ask someone not to be with other people when I’m having sex with you so often

yeah, fair
but like. dating wise
not just sex wise

Yeah, I guess so
We didn’t talk about it specifically but I figure she can date other people if she wants

follow up q: would it be okay if i asked her out

That sounds more like something you should ask her

well idk if you would think it was weird for me to date someone you’re dating!
i figured i’d ask if you minded
and then ask if she was interested
like it would suck if i asked her out and then you were like “no don’t cross the streams”

I would not say that.
But I don’t think it would affect me at all

follow up q #2: can i have her number


It had been a long time since Jin had dated a woman. Not that ze wasn’t into them, ze’d just dated more men and omegas. Ze’d lived in an omega dorm for two years in college, which had made hooking up with other omegas extremely convenient, and even though they all reacted to each other’s heats, it wasn’t as strongly as any of them might react to an alpha, so it didn’t feel quite as coercive.

Ze had also been nineteen so feeling the urge to throw zetself at zet suitemates hadn’t been as annoying, since ze was basically always horny anyway.

So actually the last time Jin had dated a girl was in high school, before either of them were old enough to drive, and ze didn’t feel like taking the bus to a movie theater together was going to cut it this time. Ze reminded zetself that ze’d been on plenty of dates, and Valera being a woman did not fundamentally alter the nature of dates. Ze reminded zetself of this several times, since it didn’t take the first time.

There was something to be said for unexpectedly hooking up with someone when ze went into heat early; there had been no time to get nervous.

Valera picked zet up, since she had a car. She kissed Jin on the cheek when ze came to the door, and said, “Well don’t you look cute!” Given ze had definitely looked like a mess when they first met, ze’d put some extra effort into looking nice. Looking extremely fuckable because you were in heat was one thing, but “cute” wasn’t that one thing.

“Thanks,” ze said. “You look great.”

She did a little curtsy, then took zet arm to walk zet to the car.

She and Alex had met online, on a dating site. She wasn’t really a fandom person, and had never even seen Pangalactic Saga, but she was still pretty nerdy. She had very strong opinions about Greek mythology, which she shared, at length, on the drive to the movie theater.

“God, sorry, I’ve been rambling this whole time,” she said.

“I’d call it more like ranting,” Jin said, “but it’s cool. You can really judge a person by what sends them into a five minute rant on a first date.”

Valera snorted. “Sorry,” she said, “it’s just–I’m pretty sure Alex went into a five-minute rant about you? I didn’t know that at the time, but I don’t think I’ve heard him complain about anyone else in your fandom chat.”

“Well, now I’m curious about what he said,” Jin said. Ze knew what ze’d say about him, but ze had no idea how he talked about zet to other people. He didn’t really talk about zet when ze wasn’t online, at least where ze could see.

“I think it was mostly rehashing arguments you’ve had,” she said. “Which were at least funny stories. I have to admit, I couldn’t really follow them that well, but he’s cute when he’s worked up.”

She took zet hand as they walked across the parking lot to the theater. They bought their tickets and headed inside. They had a little time to kill before the movie started, so they went to the little arcade in the lobby and she absolutely kicked zet ass at air hockey, even though she kept laughing hard enough at zet over-the-top shit-talking she accidentally scored on herself several times. It was only a remotely close game because she got so many points for zet while she cracked up.

The movie was fine. It had an unnecessary alpha/omega romance plot with no development and heavily implied the two beta characters hooked up at the end, but the effects were good and it had a plot that actually made sense. It actually used foreshadowing, which the last few movies Jin had bothered to see in theaters had rather lacked. Since they weren’t alone in the theater, Jin had to whisper zet heckling in her ear, and Valera ended up pressed against zet side by the time the film ended, from scooting closer each time ze leaned over to murmur something to her.

She took zet hand again as they left the movie and walked over to a restaurant for dinner, swinging it casually between them. “Sometimes I wonder if screenwriters have ever even met a beta in real life,” she said.

“God, right?” Jin said. “Why bother giving your characters a personality when you could just slap the good old beta inferiority complex on and call it a day? Wow, I haven’t seen that in every single movie I’ve ever watched or anything.”

“You’d think the actors would get tired of it,” Valera said. “Like, it’s barely acting at all.”

“Maybe they like being able to phone it in,” Jin said. “You just smolder at the alpha lead in the background and then comically fumble something important in the climax and they cut you a check.” She laughed.

Dinner was nice, although Jin barely paid attention to the food. They continued to tear apart the movie, and Hollywood, and Valera continued to laugh at zet jokes. They split a dessert, and she watched zet lick the spoon clean with obvious appreciation, which sent a spike of hopeful anticipation down to Jin’s groin.

As they walked through the parking lot to her car after dinner, she turned to zet and asked, “So were we going to pretend we haven’t already had sex, or should we just go back to your place?”

Jin’s heart skipped a beat. Yes, ze’d thought the date went well, but it was nice to have confirmation. “I would love to have sex with you again,” ze said. “Why would we pretend we hadn’t?”

“It’s only our first date,” Valera said. “I wouldn’t want you to think I’m easy.” She grinned at zet.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be the only one,” Jin said. Valera laughed, and leaned in to kiss zet.

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5 thoughts on ““My heat was triggered by my fandom nemesis?!?!”

  1. I appreciated seeing more of Jin and Alex’s friend group and learning more about the show they both care about deeply; something that meant a lot to you as a kid despite its VERY blatant problems is such an evergreen Fannish Mood and watching these people interact in such a relatable way helped me identify with them even when I wasn’t quite sure what the rules of the world were. Getting bits and pieces of information around what’s provided by our decidedly headstrong narrator gives us a far bigger picture of who zut is. Also, seeing how their relationship never did blossom into something more affectionate (they’re fandom enemies, after all!) in favor of them both seeking out people to actually DATE was also a really interesting facet of the setup, and a welcome one!

  2. Oh my god, was this fun! I like that Jin is kind of an asshole (while obviously being correct about a lot of Gender Bullshit) — makes zet feel more realistic to me. I’m a sucker for ABO anyway, but I loooove a take that has more of the larger ramifications of having extra genders and you absolutely nailed that for me. The “What’s wrong with evolutionary psych? / Everyone is typing” bit gave me an incredibly pained laugh. I swear to god I’ve had that exact argument.

    All of the sexy stuff was great, but HOT DAMN I was not expecting “Can I bring my date along to watch?” and I am HERE for it. Great balance of good consent (and safer sex precautions) with “I want to fuck literally right this second”. I’m also a huge fan of how Alex and Jin really just never got into a romantic relationship — they learned to treat each other decently and talk like grownups, but that was it and it was magical.

    As for the art: love the incredibly grumpy expressions on their faces!! The artist’s name as the panel is a really cute touch. Also… is that a Homestuck I see in the background? (Would it even BE a con without Homestuck cosplayers??)

  3. OMG, this was so cute and so hot! And also, as the denizen of a chatroom dedicated to a defunct game, the chat room scenes felt like home. <3

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