illustrated by melanofly
I’ve asked you not to call me that.
right, right, sorry. lemme try again
good evening, mr. mckenzie. i hope your night has been pleasant
You’re such a brat.
and yet you trust me with your children
It’s called fighting fire with fire.
lmao you calling me hot
Don’t put words in my mouth.
lol ive got smth else i could put in ur mouth if u wannnnt~~~~
Cameron. Don’t be gross.
how was ur date tonight btw
cant have gone that well if ur texting me instead of getting laid while ur kids are away
or do u not put out til the second date
I wouldn’t have said it like that, but you’re not wrong.
damn didnt take u for a pride lol
wait so u do put out on the first date??? omg
Cameron my sex life is none of your business and you know it.
chill im just teasing u
so the date didnt go so hot
It fucking sucked.
oh shit breaking out the f bombs
r u ok
do u want me to go
It’s fine. I’m fine.
Better now. I’m glad you texted.
do u wanna talk abt it?
i havent been on that many dates but im v good at nodding and making sympathetic noises
ive had both ur kids fooled for months
u shouldve seen me when zack was explaining the recess drama the other day
no gd clue what he was talking abt but by god i was nodding and making sympathetic noises
I’m not sure there’s anything to talk about.
Nothing went wrong, nothing blew up. She was perfectly nice, the food was good.
It just all felt like a chore for some reason.
that rly sucks
u gonna try again
Maybe. I don’t know.
Probably not with her though. I think we’re better off as colleagues.
u deserve better
She was fine.
you deserve someone you enjoy going on dates with
Okay, you might have a point.
so now what
Now, I’m brushing my teeth and going to bed.
As should you.
jokes on you old man
ive been in bed this whole time
Really? That’s early for you.
i was up p late yesterday to finish that essay i was working on
the one alex drew all over
shell be glad ur date sucked. she seemed stressed abt it
Did she? I didn’t realize.
I’ll talk to her when she gets home tomorrow night.
Thanks for telling me.
ya of course
u know i dont like hiding things form u
You should get some sleep.
what no pillow talk for me
You can’t say that.
man cmon its a free country
It’s inappropriate. We’ve been over this.
its a JOKE jamie CHILL
I know it’s a joke, but you can’t say things like that to me.
ugh. i know
ur just so easy to fluster
im serious u blush so easily dude
bet ur blushing right now
I am not.
u areeeee u totally are
bet ur whole face is red
bet its adorable
Did you need something?
i did tho actually
dyou know what day it is
Cam I can see you typing. Just spit it out.
its my birthday!!
Oh happy birthday!
Congratulations on being one step closer to an old fart like me
Any big plans?
nothing set in stone
couple of ideas tho
arent you gonna ask how old i am
How old are you?
You are going to be insufferable now, aren’t you.
well i mean
there is one easy fix
I doubt that.
all u have to do is fuck me full of cum like i want
What the hell Cam you can’t say that
lmaooo but i can thooooo
im a big boy now daddy i can say anything i want
That doesn’t make it okay
And stop calling me that. You know I don’t like it.
i know u get all red when i call u that around ur kids. and u get reeeeal quiet abt it
its funny u never tell me to stop calling u that when were face to face
if a boy didnt know better he might think u were into it
and there you go getting all quiet again
thinking abt fucking me?
its tempting isnt it
get ur dick wet and solve ur little problem at the same time
You and I both know that would only make it worse.
but worse would be so much fun
I beg to differ.
oh you can beg if you want. i like that idea
Why are you even pestering me about this? Shouldn’t you be buying sex toys or signing up for porn sites or something?
oh i did that years ago lmao
prepaid credit cards baby
Of course you did.
Not gonna film anything to celebrate?
nah dont be. i was thinkin abt it
id make a cute camboy wouldnt i
lmao i wouldddd
or. camgirl ig. bleh
itd prolly be hard to convince an internet audience full of straight men that im a boy
Thought you liked it when people think you’re a girl.
Says you three weeks ago, before I drove you home the time I had you stay late so I could go out for drinks after work.
ok fine you got me
i like that guys can take one look at me and know ive got a pussy
and im a big fan of tricking middle aged straight men into wanting to fuck a guy
Has anyone ever told you you’re a horrible person?
but idk. ive never rly had a good time getting fucked as a girl
maybe thats just bc frat boys r shit in bed idk
but it felt like a mental thing
like i was hiding something important
ive been a slutty girl and its. fine i guess
not rly my thing
but i havent gotten to be a slutty boy before
except flirting w you
youre not fooled
you know im a pretty little pussyboy aching for daddys cock
Do you have to call me that
lmao youre just mad i wont let you forget youre a dirty old man who wants to fuck the babysitter
I’m not mad.
I’m just disappointed.
god jamie im sorry u know ily but u r never beating the dilf allegations
im sorry i disappointed u daddy
r u gonna spank me
Cam you really need to stop saying things like that.
I could get in so much trouble.
What if I get arrested?
its past midnight
which means im now legally an adult
and weve got the receipts to prove it
whos gonna arrest you now?
dont think u can just ignore me
i know u want me
and im not going til u admit it
Then you’ll be here a long time.
thats fine. i have lots of innuendos i can torture you with
You’ll run out sometime.
dont count on it
i can go for hours
and hours and hours and hours and hours
nope just me
You’re enough of a problem.
awww thanks daddy ❤️
Cam. Come on.
lol sry. thanks james
No. God ew you sound like my mother.
Never call me that while you’re being horny at me again.
you want me to be horny at you again?
I didn’t say that.
you kinda did
Is it too late to backtrack?
i mean if ur sure u wanna hear ur mother in ur ear while im hitting on u
but u do want me to keep hitting on u
I’m not answering that.
its my birthday
You’re a fucking menace.
but u like it
u like when i hit on u
I will not.
i know its true
Then why do you need me to admit it?
want u to say it
I like it when you flirt with me.
Happy birthday you little shit.
ahaha thank you daddy
That shouldn’t be hot.
but it is
you think its hot
Yes. I do.
u like it when i call u daddy
I wish I didn’t.
lol weve all been there
its ok my dad was a piece of shit so
im not calling u that bc u remind me of him or anything
if that helps
didnt think so
he wasnt as nice as u
or as hot
Please stop talking about your father.
ya i dont wanna talk abt him either tbh
sry for derailing
I’m used to it.
ya but i had smth i wanted to ask
n now it feels like a bad time
Cam half past midnight is a bad time for anything except sleeping.
can i send u a tit pic
r u still there
i hope u didnt fall asleep on me
or was that too much
did i finally scare u off
fuck i rly hope not
i didnt think i still could at this point ngl so uh
hope i wasnt wrong abt that
wait shit did i give u a heart attack
r u going into cardiac arrest
plz tell me i dont need to call anambulan e
is that a yes ur still here or a yes to the tit pic or a yes ur having a heart attakc
Yes I’m still here.
still here is good
dyou wanna just forget i asked or
r u sure
bc we can totes do that
i totally wont mind
unless u want me to
send u a tit pic i mean
like if u want that we dont have to forget abt it
Why do you want to send me a “tit pic”?
dont fuckin put it in quotes oml
Just answer the question please
idk. bc i can???
its legal now
ive been wanting to send someone nudes for like four years dude
but i was way too anxious abt getting in shit
so i didnt
glad abt that tbh. def wouldve regretted it
im hot as fuck
and my tits r great
i wanna show em off to somebody
not in person. ive done that
but ive never sent somebody a tit pic
n i rly rly wanna
and now i can bc its not illegal
And why me?
well its not like i know anyone else id send nudes to
theyd get the wrong idea
Which is what?
that i want them to look at my tits ig
And you think I won’t think that if you send this to me?
but in that case itd be the right idea
bc i DO want u to look at my tits
like. all the time
and also other things
Why don’t you just send it to someone you don’t know? Find some stranger on the internet?
dammit jamie u know why
I don’t! I really don’t!
jamie nobody knows im a boy except you
ive never told anyone but you
i dont WANT to tell anyone but you
in the whole damn world it is just you and me and nobody else and until both my parents are dead and in the fucjing ground that is exactly how i want it
but until then theres nobody i could send tit pics to who would look at them and see ME except you
look i just rly wanna show u my tits ok
call it a birthday gift
like that ur letting me send u the thing i mean
what does okay mean
like is that acknowledgment of the desire to send u tit pics or is that consent for me to send u them
Okay, you can send me a tit pic.
Just… Give me a minute.
im gonna need a minute anyways to take some
Only send me one
ok pic taken
can i send it
what do u think
I think I should’ve asked what kind of response you wanted before I let you send it.
enthusiasm is good if u can manage it
coherence is optional tho
That is… A very good picture.
that all you wanna say abt it
What else do you want to hear?
what abt my tits
do you like my tits daddy
yeah? you think theyre pretty
I don’t know what else to say.
dyou wanna touch them
Cam this is crossing a line
We shouldn’t be doing this.
its my birthday
You keep saying that.
tell me you wanna touch my tits
What makes you so sure I want to touch them?
then tell me you dont
tell me you dont want to touch me
tell me ur not turned on by this
tell me you want me to stop
if u can tell me honestly that u want me to stop then ill stop
I do want to touch them
thank you daddy
Don’t thank me.
how do u wanna touch
would u cup them in ur hands
theres not much there but u could give them a squeeze
run ur palms over them
or would u wanna pinch my nipples
id get so loud if u played w my nips
or maybe u wanna put ur mouth on them
suck pretty marks all over them
i bruise rly easy on my tits
i can leave marks just by pinching the skin
sometimes when im rubbing off i pinch my tits n imagine its ur mouth
Are you sober?
why wouldnt i be sober
I don’t know.
yes im sober
i dont have to be drunk to want u
im stone cold sober and i want ur mouth on my tits
do u want that
I don’t think I should answer that.
but i want u to
yes or no
do u want to suck my tits
god. thats so fucking hot
i dont think ive ever been this wet in my fkn life
I’m barely saying anything.
jamie u dumbass i am so into u it drives me insane
id cream myself if u so much as looked at me too hard
So if I told you I want to suck on your tits you’d probably faint?
oh my god
can i touch myself
please can i touch myself
I’m surprised you’re asking.
oh god oh fuck
fuuuuuuck oh my god daddy
Tell me what you’re doing.
i have this toy
big fucjing dildo
im riding it
fuck it feels so good
god im so wet
i can feel it dripping down the toy when i pull off
god it feels so gooddd
please keep talking
I don’t know what to say.
talk abt my tits
tell me i make u horny
r u jacking off
its a weekend u have the place to urself
If I jack off I’ll only have one hand to text with.
i can do all the texting
dont need my hands to fuck myself open
r u picturing me
riding ur dick
do i look pretty daddy
god i bet i look like such a whore
didnt even take my shirt off
thought abt leaving my panties on too but theyre like. so fucking wet
so i took em off
do u want me like this daddy
want to put me in one of ur shirts n let me fuck myself stupid on ur cock
mmmmmm god ur cock
i want it so bad
bet it feels so good
i want it so fuckin bad
idc which hole i just want u inside me
u like that
want me to swallow ur dick daddy
wanna cum down my slutty throat
or on my tongue so i can show u the mess when u pull out
or maybe u wanna cum on my face
god i wanna feel it
ur cum on my face
all over my mouth
dripping on my tits
would u rather cum in my pussy
im so wet for u daddy
so wet and hot
would u lose control
cum as soon as u get inside me
i dont mind
i can suck u off until ur hard again
let u finger me
fingerfuck ur cum into me
or would u wanna taste it
i could sit on ur face while i blow u
ride ur tongue til ur stubble burns my thighs
then when ur hard u can fuck me again
throw me down n pound my needy cunt
fuck me hard n deep
fuck i need it so bad
need u so bad
Give me a minute
Sorry about that. Had to go wash my hands.
did u cum
did i make u cum daddy
tell me more?
what did u think abt
I thought about what you described. You riding me, wearing one of my shirts.
All the pretty noises you’d make while you fucked yourself on my cock.
oh my god
n that made u cum
thinkin abt me moaning like a slut for ur dick
That wasn’t it.
I came because I thought about you calling me Daddy.
oh fuck jamie
can i cum
please daddy im so close i wanna cum
Do it. Come for Daddy.
oh god oh fuck
hope my roomies didnt hear that
Oh my God please tell me you didn’t do this with someone else in the room
no ofc not
i can hear thm downstairs
theyre still talking so
tho tbh i bet theyd b jealous
bet none of em have ever cum that hard
fuck im still throbbing
Sounds like it was good.
fuck one sex
ok im back
had to cum again
It’s only been two minutes.
gimme thirty seconds n i can go again
im So Horny
fuck i wish i was at ur house rn
want u to fuck me so fucking bad
Want me to come get you?
Four if I run the lights.
i am not patient or awkae enough for that
tmorrow. ill bus over tmo first thing
if thats ok i mean
As long as you don’t mind getting eaten out before you’ve eaten breakfast.
oh god brb
How many times can you come?
i think my record is like six
wanna break it
But not tonight. Don’t want you all worn out before you come over.
oh fuck yes daddy
Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.
fuck i cant wait
Good night Cam.