Day Job

by Domashita Romero (地下ロメロ)
illustrated by neomeruru

Read this piece’s entry on the Shousetsu Bang*Bang wiki.

Louis was sure of two things: one, the new guy was literally, actually a demon. Two, the new guy was fucking hot.

He didn’t mention it to anyone, of course. For one thing bringing it up either thing in the office had to be an HR violation. For another, he didn’t need to enhance any reputation he had for being weird or thirsty. But from the second he laid eyes on Gabriel Alt while his supervisor was leading him around the office, introducing him to everyone, he knew.

He was too tall, to start with. Well, he wasn’t too tall, not in some obvious inhuman over-seven-feet-tall-while-not-being-a-basketball-player way, but he just loomed. And he was also absolutely too tall in that Louis always turned into a complete idiot around men who were over six-foot-two. His arms were too long, and his legs were too long, like some kind of Slenderman in a henley, and Louis resented how the segments of his brain that controlled fear and arousal were so close to each other. Something was off with Gabe, and he could tell it in every one of his large loping steps.

“Nice to meet ya!” Gabe had said in wide midwestern vowels when they’d been introduced, and held out his hand (with its long, spindly fingers) to shake Louis’s. “Looking forward to working with you.” Louis had of course smiled and mumbled something friendly in response — he was awkward about these kind of introductions even when the person involved wasn’t sending chills up his spine — and took Gabriel’s hand. Immediately he’d felt a shock, a spark, something cold and hot all at once running from Gabe’s skin into his and had drawn his hand away, eyes wide.

“Oops, sorry, must be staticky in here,” Gabe had said as he laughed affably, eyes crinkling up.

“Yeah,” Louis had said, rubbing his fingers against his palm to chase away where he still felt the tingle. “Keep saying we need a humidifier.”

Gabe had kept smiling and turned to their supervisor, Helene, looking all the way down at least a foot at her. “Now when I was hired I was pretty sure I’d be guaranteed humane working conditions, and now I learn you’ve got people working with dry air?” He’d widened his eyes dramatically and Helene had laughed, and he had laughed, and Louis had managed a little chuckle too. They’d left then to continue the employee meet-and-greet circuit, and Louis had sat back down at his desk and opened his palm.

No marks. No burn. Not even any extra sweat. But he’d still felt it, and he knew.

Ever since Louis was a kid, he’d been knowing things. His mother liked to tell stories about how when Louis was three years old, he’d stay up nights babbling at no one, and when she asked in the morning, he’d say he’d been talking to Tía Teresa. Tía Teresa had died when he was not even sixteen months old, of course, and half of the people his mother was telling the story to would laugh, and the other half would do the sign of the cross. As Louis got older, he didn’t like being laughed at or prayed over, so he kept the things he knew and saw to himself. But they were always there.

He never wanted to call himself ‘psychic’ because that just seemed stupid. But when he got a little older and could do some googling, he supposed that ‘sensitive’ seemed a safe enough term. What guy wouldn’t want to be sensitive? Having a word for it made him feel a little better about the times when he would see the shadows of people who weren’t there, hear whispers when he was alone, feel the air around him turn suddenly cold and clammy for no reason.

Louis also felt better when he found the word ‘bisexual’ after some googling, but that was a completely different issue that he was equally uninterested in talking to his family about.

But he’d met unusual people before. People with an aura around them that was, for lack of a better word, or maybe even perhaps for use of an entirely accurate word, haunted. Louis had spent a whole night chatting with a girl at a bar who seemed cheery enough despite the grey weight he felt on top of her, and then two hours into the conversation she’d mentioned her grandmother had recently died. He’d declined to go home with her that night, because he wasn’t into voyeurism under the best of circumstances, let alone with ghosts.

Louis had met people burdened by spirits before, but they’d always been people. Meeting Gabe, though, touching his hand, seeing him smile down at him, had been the first time he’d gone, holy shit, you’re something else.

And now he had to go to meetings with him like everything was normal, and also like he didn’t keep smiling at him and occasionally stretching those long arms up over his head until his shirt rode up and Louis could see a strip of flesh, a line of hair going down. Maybe he did need prayed over after all.

The team went out for drinks at the end of Gabe’s first week, a little bit of corporate morale building, a little bit of blowing off steam, and a little bit of breaking in the new guy. Louis thought about skipping out on it, but honestly, he needed a damn drink and some time to relax, for more mundane reasons than the fact he was pretty sure his new coworker was something unholy. Code releases were stressful and he deserved a beer or five, and maybe after those he’d stop worrying about the diabolical forces weighing on his life and maybe just relax and play some pool.

Gabe sat at the opposite end of the big table they’d claimed, so Louis could mostly ignore him. Well, he could mostly try to ignore him. His sharp laugh kept cutting through the murmur of the bar, drawing Louis’s attention. All he was doing was amiably chatting with Helene and Siva, but Louis kept finding himself staring. He took a good swallow of his beer and tried to convince himself he was just making things up. He’d never succeeded in convincing himself of that sort of thing before, but it didn’t hurt to keep trying.

Gabe was probably a normal guy, just one with a kind of weird vibe. Everyone else seemed completely drawn to him, enjoying his company and listening to his stories. He probably wasn’t even that hot, just tall. Louis had fallen for that one before. He drank more beer and stared more, at the edge of his stubbly jaw, at the way his shirt gaped enough to show his collarbones. Okay, fine, he was hot, but he didn’t also have to be a demon.

Just as he thought that, Gabe turned his head to him, catching his eyes, and Louis absolutely, undoubtedly saw them gleam a dark, glowing red.

Gabe smiled at him broadly and made a wide ‘come here’ gesture with his arm as Helene got up from her seat next to him. “Why don’t you come over here, Louis, and quit being so lonely over there.”

Louis blinked a few times and realized that his end of the table had slowly become depopulated of coworkers, leaving him the only one at his end. Fuck, how long had he been staring? Had Gabe somehow put him in a trance? Had he fugued? He shook his head a little to clear away the fog as he realized Gabe was still smiling at him, looking patient.

“Yeah, cool, good idea,” he said as he got up and moved down to sit right next to Gabe. He hadn’t been this physically close to him since they’d first been introduced, as they hadn’t been called upon to work closely together in his first week, and now that he was back in Gabe’s orbit, he could see why everyone had spent the evening crowding him. He was radiating a magnetism, something strange and compelling. Did he smell good? No, he smelled strange, but in a way that Louis immediately wanted more of. Gabe smiled at him and he could see that glow in his eyes again, obvious in the dimmer light of the bar than it ever had been under office fluorescents.

“There we go,” Gabe said, and clinked his beer against Louis’s. “You’re like the last one on my list.”

“Your list?” Louis said, just barely keeping his voice from going high pitched. He failed at keeping his eyebrows from nearly going all the way up into his hairline, though.

Gabe laughed again, and Louis could feel it in his spine. “Of people to get to know! Siva tells me you’re into archaeology? That’s not one I’ve heard before.”

Louis laughed a little and relaxed. This was fine, this was a normal conversation with a coworker who he just had to avoid making eye contact with. “Oh, yeah, sort of. Kind of more geology? I just like, uh, I don’t know, old stuff?”

“Ah, then you’ll love me,” Gabe said, wiggling his eyebrows a little as he drank his beer.

Louis’s stupid eyebrows went up again. “What, how old are you?” Gabe looked a couple of years older than Louis, mid-thirties at the latest.

“Ah, older than I look,” Gabe said, and shook his head. “Old joke, nevermind, don’t worry about it. But you’re into rocks! That’s cool.”

“Is it?” Louis said. His heart-rate kept rising.

“Actually, it’s kind of nerdy as hell,” Gabe said, and Louis was surprised into a laugh. “Do you still have one of those little rock tumblers that kids play with?”

“No!” Louis said, and took a drink of his beer. “I have a much more sophisticated one that adults play with.” Gabe laughed again, and it felt a lot less sharp when Louis had directly caused it. He risked another look into Gabe’s eyes, and the glow was absolutely still there. “So what’s your deal, then?”

“My deal?” Gabe asked.

“Yeah, your deal, your thing, your whatever.” If Louis was talking, it kept him distracted from how he felt like he was vibrating. “I have a bunch of dumb geodes and now you know that about me, so what the hell is up with you?” It came out a little more frantic than Louis intended it, but Gabe didn’t seem to notice.

“Huh,” Gabe said as he looked thoughtful. “Guess I’m kinda into bugs.”

“Bugs?” Louis said, immediately getting a horror movie vision of beetles and centipedes pouring out of all parts of Gabe. Okay, no, that one was just his imagination getting him carried away.

“Got an ant farm,” Gabe said, shrugging a little. “Had it for years.”

Louis relaxed again with a soft snort of a laugh. “And you called me a nerd.” He lifted his glass to his lips for another drink and realized he’d run out of beer. Gabe’s eyebrows lifted as he noticed, too.

“Ah, let me get you another one,” he said, and knocked back the last inch of beer in his own glass. He scooted his chair out to stand up, putting one hand on the back of Louis’s as he did. He felt the little spark again where the heel of Gabe’s hand just brushed against his back. Feeling it for the second time, it didn’t feel bad, but, fuck, it was certainly something. Louis felt heat rise into his face. “What were you drinking?”

“Brooklyn Lager,” he said as he looked up at Louis. Up and up and up. God damn it.

“You got it,” Gabe said as he headed to the bar, giving Louis a little pat on the shoulder before he did so, sending warm chills through Louis’s body.

Louis took a deep breath after Gabe had walked away. It was fine, everything was fine. His new coworker was maybe probably an eldritch horror, but at least he was a nice one? Or maybe, possibly, extremely reasonably, Louis was just horny for the new guy and having trouble dealing with it for some stupid reason. There was a neon beer sign on the wall; that could explain what he saw in Gabe’s eyes. Yes, the things Louis had seen throughout his life were real, but that didn’t make everything out there possibly sinister.

He spaced out enough pondering it all that he didn’t notice when Gabe had returned with beers. He snapped back into attention when a glass of lager was held directly in front of his face. “Oh, shit, thanks,” he said, and took it, immediately taking a drink. “I’ll get you back next round.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Gabe said, and stretched his arms over his head while he was still standing. Louis started to get distracted by that revealed strip of his stomach, but then something else drew his attention. Where Gabe stood now, the hanging bar light over them cast his shadow onto the wall — a shadow that Louis absolutely, unquestionably could see had horns and a tail.

Gabe finished his stretch and sat back down in his chair with a sigh and a heavy thump, and the shadow was gone. Louis stared where it had been for a while, then quietly, firmly thought fuck this shit and gulped down half his beer in one go.

Louis had stopped going to church when he’d grown up enough that his mom stopped making him go (not that she didn’t still get him sometimes when she made him feel guilty enough), but now he had a reason that wasn’t just maternal pressure. He filled his bottle with water from the font near the entrance and then left before he gave in to the urge to start asking a priest a lot of serious questions.

It’d been nearly a week since the night out at the bar. Louis had continued to be friendly with Gabe — he was a friendly guy, and, god damn it, pretty enjoyable to be around aside from the regular spine-tingling — but he was still keeping an eye on him. The flat lighting of the office didn’t make for many dramatically cast shadows, but Louis caught them, and sometimes, not every time, but sometimes, he saw what he’d seen at the bar that night again.

He just couldn’t keep going on this way, though. He needed more proof, to stop himself from questioning his own eyes, from doubting his entire life. And that’s why he got in a little early to be the one to make the first pot of coffee.

Keeping an eye on Gabe meant he’d also figured out his daily routine, so he was in the kitchen waiting, coffee pot filling up when Gabe came in, empty mug in hand.

“Ah, nice, fresh pot,” Gabe said, and put his lunch in the shared fridge. (Would a demon really be bringing a tupperware full of pasta or whatever to work every day? some rational part of Louis’s brain kept asking, but the world was full of unknown and explored things, so it could shut up.) He leaned against the counter waiting for the pot to finish filling up and smiled at Louis. “How’re things?”

“Oh, you know, they’re things,” Louis said. He wasn’t really feeling small talk while he was waiting to see his plan unfold.

“Did you watch the big game last night?” Gabe said, making little spirit fingers at the words ‘big game.’

“What game?” Louis asked, genuinely confused.

Gabe laughed and shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m not even into sports, it just always seems like a safe bet for conversation.”

Louis shook his head. “What were you going to do if I said I had?”

“Wing it!” Gabe said. “You’d be surprised how incredibly easy it is to fake your way through things sometimes.” The coffee pot made its last gurgles as it filled up and Gabe smiled. “Ahh, come to your sleepy papa,” he said, and filled his mug.

Louis only had a moment of worrying that he might have to stalk Gabe back to his desk like a weirdo to see him take his first sip before he was bringing it to his lips, blowing lightly across the surface of what was unbeknownst to him an extremely blessed cup of coffee, and taking a drink.

“Augh, fuck!” Gabe said, spitting the coffee out immediately, and Louis had to grip the counter behind him.

“What?” he said, keeping his voice as calm as he could. “What’s wrong?”

Gabe shook his head and got a napkin to wipe coffee off of his face, making an expression of disgust. “That is somehow the worst coffee I’ve ever had.” He glared at the coffee pot. “When was the last time that thing was cleaned?”

Louis tried to look casual as he shrugged. Was Gabe’s mouth redder where the coffee had touched it? Or were his lips always like that? Fuck, he had to focus. “I don’t know, maybe once a day?”

Gabe continued making his yuck face and held the mug of coffee out to Louis. “Here, you try it.”

“What?” Louis said, because he hadn’t prepared for this eventuality. He honestly hadn’t had much of a gameplan at all for what to do after Gabe drank the coffee. “You just said it’s disgusting and spit it out, why would I drink it now?”

“The more people complain about something that sucks the more likely it is to get fixed!” Gabe said and walked closer to Louis, holding the coffee out to him.

“Ugh, fine, whatever,” Louis said, and his fingers were only shaking a little when he took the mug from Gabe. He brought it up to his lips and took a sip.

And then turned around and spat it into the sink.

“See?” Gabe said. “You see what I mean?”

Louis wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, took another sniff of the coffee, and then took a second drink. Just as disgusting as the first, but he needed it to confirm that he wasn’t now somehow possessed. It didn’t burn him, didn’t hurt, it was just absolutely foul.

Louis put the mug down on the counter and remembered, with sudden clarity, that he was actually pretty terrible at making coffee. The holiest of water couldn’t save fundamental fuckups with the basic ratios of coffee preparation. Fuck, it had been such a good plan, too, and now his incontrovertible proof was entirely muddled. He dumped the coffee down the sink.

Gabe scraped at his tongue with his teeth. “Fuck it, I’m going to the deli down the street. Want to come?”

Louis sighed in defeat. “Yeah,” he said, and took the whole pot of coffee to dump it down the sink. At least their kitchen pipes would be holy.

Louis didn’t have any other brilliant ideas after his coffee failure. He thought about refilling his holy water supplies and just straight up finding a way to spill it on Gabe, but the more he thought about it, the worse of an idea it seemed. If he were a demon, would it just burn him? Would he suddenly manifest, horns and all, right in the office? The more he thought about the coffee plan the worst he felt about it in retrospect. He might have actually really hurt Gabe, who he had to admit had done literally nothing wrong to him at any point.

Or maybe it would have done nothing at all. The more time Louis spent with Gabe the more comfortable he felt around him, and the less he actually cared if he might be hellspawn. All he just wanted was an answer, just a little bit of peace of mind so he could know he wasn’t just crazy, that he wasn’t just making everything up.

The day after the coffee debacle was one full of meetings, which Louis, as any proper office drone, completely hated. It was mid-afternoon and he was listlessly sipping a cup of coffee (Gabe had sent a strongly worded email to facilities and someone had come and given the coffee pot and all its components a thorough scrubdown) while mostly ignoring the powerpoint presentation the meeting leader was droning through. All of it had very little to do with him directly and he was just bored.

Gabe was sitting right across from him at the conference room table. He caught Louis’s eye — and yes, his own still had that low, dark gleam to them that Louis had learned to make out even in the glare of the office — and gave him a little conspiratorial smirk. A real ‘seriously, fuck this shit, right?’ look that made Louis bite the inside of his lip to keep from smiling too much as his face got warm.

And then he just… kept looking at him. Louis just kept that eye contact and pursed his lips to keep his expression normal, and Gabe did much the same. He was looking at him in a way that made him feel looked at, and he decided to just let all of worries go and fucking enjoy a hot dude looking at him like he was something to be very pleased with. Fine, whatever, glowing eyes, he could probably deal with it if Gabe would just keep looking at him like that.

Then, while still gazing goofily at Louis, Gabe sneezed.

And Louis was suddenly burning up from the inside, his whole body hot and tingling. He could feel his heart racing, his palms sweating, felt every fiber in his clothing brushing his skin. And he was hard, suddenly, massively, achingly hard like he hadn’t been since he was a teenager. He wanted to writhe, do anything to relieve the desperate need to be touched that filled him, but he gripped the arms of his chair and kept himself still. He tried to breathe calmly and looked across the table at Gabe, who was wide-eyed in an expression of surprised yet knowing guilt.

Fuck, Louis thought, and bit the inside of his lip, and even that felt good. Gabe had done something, this was some absolute no doubt demon shit. He didn’t need a medical textbook to know that there were no recorded cases of a healthy young man suddenly getting caught in some sort of wild boner seizure for no reason. He focused on breathing slowly and Gabe was still looking at him, his brows drawn together in concern.

“Excuse me,” he mouthed, and Louis just barely kept himself from screaming.

Louis survived the last ten minutes of the meeting by counting to ten with each breath and staring at the table in front of him. If he even remotely looked at any of his other coworkers in the room his mind flooded with orgiastic visions of fucking and sucking everyone in the room. His dick ached in his pants, and he wanted so badly to touch himself. He was ready to completely paint the boring powerpoint with jizz by the time the meeting ended and people started filing out of the room.

Gabe got up very slowly, after everyone else had left, and Louis manage to grit out, “Wait.”

“Sure, you got it,” Gabe said, and just stood in place. Louis carefully got to his feet, biting back a whimper at the sensation of the shift of his clothing over his skin.

“I knew it,” Louis said, as he spread his palms out over the table, momentarily soothed by its cool surface. He wanted to climb across it to get close to Gabe as fast as he could. “I knew something was up with you. I know what you are.”

Gabe looked genuinely surprised. “You do?”

Louis kept himself as steady as he could as he walked around the table to stand in front of Gabe. His hard dick was obvious in his pants, but he knew if he tried to adjust he’d never be able to stop touching. “You’re some kind of… fucking…” He pointed at Gabe, poked him right in the center of his chest. “…fucking thing. Fucking demon thing.” He poked again, and then the third time his palm fell flat against Gabe’s chest, rubbing faintly to feel more of his warmth.

“What makes you say that?” Gabe said, and Louis made a noise of frustration as his hand knotted up in Gabe’s shirt.

“I see stuff, okay? I know stuff.” He couldn’t stop himself from flexing his fingers on Gabe’s chest, moving in faint circles. He could think a little better if he was just touching someone. “I knew you were something else when I first met you, and I, I’ve seen things with you, and just, fucking, fess up, okay?”

Gabe looked down at him and made a soft sound, like Louis was pathetic, but Louis couldn’t manage to get angry about it, because all he could think about was other noises Gabe could make. Gabe rested his hand on top of Louis’s on his chest and Louis gasped, biting down a moan. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “You got me.”

“Fuck,” Louis said, and in all honesty, even deep within the burning haze he was in, part of him was actually surprised. “Yeah?”

Gabe’s long fingers wrapped around his hand, holding it lightly, and Louis whimpered. “Jeez, I swear I didn’t do this on purpose. I always try real hard to keep the powers tamped down around regular people but sometimes something just slips out on accident. Kinda like when you sneeze and fart at the same time.”

Louis groaned and let his head drop against Gabe’s chest. “Please do not say that you snarted me into this, this fucking, boner fugue or whatever it is.”

“Well, that is basically what happened,” Gabe said. He rubbed his thumb in little circles in the palm of Louis’s hand, and it both calmed him and made him want to climb Gabe like a goddamn tree. “I’m really sorry. I can, ah, help you fix it, though, if you want.”

“Yes, I want you to fix it!” Louis said, barely holding back from humping Gabe’s leg.

“Okay, but you’re probably gonna want to be somewhere a little more private than this,” Gabe said, and Louis came back to himself to remember where he was. The door to the conference room they were in was still open, and the floor-to-ceiling glass panes that made up the walls were only blocked from the rest of the office by blinds.

“Private? Why…” He looked up at Gabe. The red glow in his eyes now was so clear, so obvious. “How exactly do you fix this?”

Gabe sighed and looked truly sheepish for someone who was sending shocks of dark energy right to Louis’s dick with every little circle of his thumb. “Well, I am an incubus,” he said, and the word made a deep OH GOD ring out in Louis’s mind. “And I draw power from the release of sexual energy, which is why I have the ability to make people, well, really want to release some sexual energy.”

“Okay, fuck, fine,” Louis said. “I’ll go jerk it in the office bathroom, just like I’ve always never dreamed of.”

Gabe grimaced and sucked in a little breath through his teeth. “That’s not going to do the trick, I’m afraid.”

Louis looked at him for the long few seconds it took for the meaning of his words to connect in his addled mind. “Fuck,” he said, simply.

“In a word, yes,” Gabe said. He winced a little. “I really am sorry. I didn’t want this to happen this way.”

“You didn’t want…” Louis shook his head. Whatever, it wasn’t important, he could sort that out later. “Fuck it, fine, yes, okay, let’s do it.” He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, gathering just enough problem-solving focus. “The supply room has a door that at least closes all the way. I don’t know if it locks.” Before he could stop himself, he leaned in and rubbed his cheek against Gabe’s chest. That strange smell he’d noticed before was so clear now, something between sex and smoke. “I don’t care if it does.”

“I’ll make sure it stays shut,” Gabe said, and then let go of Louis’s hand, pushing him back from him. Louis whined a little at the lack of contact, but got his shit together quickly enough and lead the way to the supply room, hoping like fuck that no coworkers would run into him marching like a bat out of hell with a huge boner.

They made it unnoticed, and Gabe closed the door behind them. He brushed his hand over the knob, and Louis watched it shimmer in a way that didn’t look real. Fine, cool, magical locking spells were real, too. He was having suspicions confirmed left and right. He’d spend a lot of time marveling at it when he could think about anything other than his dick.

Louis leaned back against a shelf full of pens and staples and highlighters and Gabe came close to loom over him. He put one hand on Louis’s cheek and he leaned his head back to groan. “I have been working on a crush on you, you know. Kinda hoped I’d maybe get to take you on a few dates before something like this.”

Louis rubbed his cheek against Gabe’s hand, twisting so his lips brushed over his fingers. Oh god, he wanted to suck on those fingers so bad. “That’s, like, really sweet, but we can talk about it later.”

Gabe brushed his fingers down Louis’s neck and Louis grabbed at his hips. “Can I kiss you?”

Louis let out a broken laugh. “Oh my god, are all sex demons hung up on explicit consent?”

Gabe gave him a little smile that was absolutely way too sweet for the level of horny he was at that moment. “No, not really.”

“Okay, well, blanket statement, please do whatever the fuck you want to me, just do it now, I’m going to die.”

Gabe put both of his hands on either side of Louis’s face and bent down. “Nah, you wouldn’t die,” he said. “At least not for like a really long time.” He kissed Louis then, soft and sweet, and Louis absolutely came in his fucking pants.

“Fuck,” Louis said when he could speak again. “Okay, I see why you asked first.”

“Swear it doesn’t happen like that every time,” Gabe said, and started unfastening Louis’s belt. His fingers brushed Louis’s cock — which had not become even slightly less hard — and Louis jolted, grabbing the shelf behind him.

Gabe got his pants down around his thighs and rubbed his cock through his boxer-briefs, feeling hot and messy from where Louis had already come. “How do you want this?” he said, while Louis frantically tried to push more into Gabe’s touch. “I could suck you off? Or fuck you? Or you could fuck me?” He said it so calmly, like he was suggesting restaurants they could go to for lunch.

All of it? Louis’s hazed mind wanted to answer. All of it possibly at the same time? He drew in a solid breath and focused. “Fuck me, absolutely fuck me.”

“Can do,” Gabe said, maddeningly, weirdly friendly as ever, as he started to unbuckle his pants.

The supply room was lit by a bulb overhead. It cast Gabe’s shadow onto the wall, and right now, it looked entirely normal, entirely human. Louis let out a long, shaky breath. “Wait.”

Gabe paused in undressing, pants undone, bulge in his underwear obvious. Louis wanted to get to his knees and suck him off through the fabric but he had to focus. “What is it?”

Louis tightened his hands on the shelf behind him, pressing the cool metal into his skin. “I want to see what you really look like.” He didn’t just want, he needed it. Even though all of this was happening to him, so very obviously something that wasn’t normal or easily explained, he still just had to see it with his actual eyes.

Gabe paused for a moment, then shrugged. “Okay, but don’t be weirded out or anything,” he said. Then in a shimmer, in a change so fast that Louis couldn’t tell it was happening, he stopped being Gabriel Alt, perfectly normal human, and became something else. What stood before Louis still looked like Gabe, but his skin was a dusky purplish-grey, like a healing bruise, and his eyes were full black, except for that ember of a glow within, brighter than ever. Horns curled back from his head, somehow not interrupting his fashionable hairstyle, and a long, spade-tipped tail just brushed the floor behind him.

In that moment, Louis unfortunately realized that he apparently found demons fucking hot.

“We cool?” Gabe said, and his voice was different too, filled with some resonance that Louis couldn’t actually here, but rather felt vibrating some bone in the back of his skull.

“Yeah, we’re good,” he said, and Gabe came in to kiss him again. This time, at least, he didn’t immediately blow, but it was still good, so good, the best kiss Louis had ever had. Fuck, was Gabe’s tongue forked?

Gabe kept rubbing his dick through his boxers until he was whimpering, just teetering on the edge. He wanted to come again immediately but he knew he needed more. “Okay, turn around for me.”

“You got it,” Louis said, gripping the metal of the shelf. He arched his back and bit back a shout as Gabe brushed his fingers down his spine. He had to remember to be quiet; now that he was staring directly at a box of Bic pens he remembered that he was about to get fucked in his office, by his coworker, who was also a demon. This instance had not been in the mandatory sexual harassment training.

Gabe pulled his underwear down past his thighs and Louis shook out a breath of relief to no longer have his dick restrained. It only lasted a second before he absolutely needed something touching him again. Gabe’s hands settled on his ass, squeezing enough to make Louis jerk and fuck into the air. He nudged Louis’s thighs further apart and then one of Gabe’s long, long fingers was slipping inside of him, warm and slick.

“Oh, fuck,” Louis groaned as he dropped his head forward, resting against the shelf. Gabe fucked his finger into him so smoothly, so easily it nearly brought tears to his eyes. Even through all of the sensation, he still managed to have some coherent thought. “Oh god, tell me you’re not using white-out for lube or something.”

Gabe let out a sharp, delighted laugh. “Come on, man, I’m literally a sex demon, you think I can’t just, like, do this?”

“Okay, yeah, cool,” Louis said as he hazed out again, lost in the sensation. “Hadn’t thought of it that way, but yeah, good point.”

Louis lost track of things for a while as Gabe fucked him with his fingers. He had no idea about time or place or anything but his body, vibrant with pleasure and still needing so much more. His cock was dripping by the time Gabe’s voice got through to him, saying, “Gonna fuck you now.”

“Yes,” was all that Louis said, because what else did he need to say? He spread his legs out further and braced himself against the supplies shelf as he felt the head of Gabe’s dick press inside him. He had a moment of regret and concern that he hadn’t gotten a look at that when Gabe showed his true form, seen if he had some weird demon spikes or whatever, but then Gabe was holding him firm by the hips and fucking deep into him, and yes, this was fine, whatever the hell his fucking incubus dick looked like, it felt perfect.

“Oh fuck,” Louis said, muffled into one of his folded arms as he bent over further, letting Gabe work him harder. This was good, but next time he wanted to be face-to-face, get his legs wrapped around Gabe’s waist. He bit down into his forearm as Gabe hit the exact right angle, the exact right rhythm, and shit, he’d been fucked plenty of times before but it had never been this good, never even close. He needed to come so bad, so bad that it hurt, but he still didn’t want it to ever end.

Gabe did wrap his fingers around Louis’s dick, though, long, hot fingers tight around him. He leaned forward to press a kiss to the back of Louis’s neck as he stroked him in just the right rhythm. It all felt so good that Louis felt one bright moment of fear that he might die from it, and in the next moment, decided he didn’t fucking care. Gabe lightly kissed him, so sweetly, just behind the ear, and Louis muffled a scream into his arm as he came, and came, and came.

When he was fully aware of all of his limbs again and felt like more than just a nervous system that couldn’t catch his breath, he realized he was on his knees on the floor. He slowly turned himself around to face where Gabe was sitting on the floor across from him, looking at him with an expression of warm concern. He looked human again.

“Did you come?” was the first thing out of Louis’s mouth, and Gabe’s eyes went wide and he let out a bright laugh.

“Oh, wow, that’s your first concern?” he said.

“What, I’m not an asshole,” Louis said, and slowly worked on trying to pull his clothes back together. His underwear was a jizz disaster and his whole body ached, but he also felt fantastic.

“Nah, but don’t worry, I’m good,” Gabe said, winking one eye closed and holding up one hand in an OK symbol. “Whole incubus thing, feeding off of sexual release, you know how it is.”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis said as he managed to get his pants back up over his ass. He’d deal with his belt in a minute. “Next time you should definitely get to come though.”

Gabe raised his eyebrows and tilted his head a little. “Next time, huh?”

Louis blinked a few times, realizing what he said. “Uh, you know, if that’s cool.”

“No, no, it’s definitely cool,” Gabe said, and reached over to gently squeeze Louis’s toes through his shoe, which was honestly the weirdest thing that had happened to him all day. “But we are definitely going on a few dates first. There’s gonna be dinner. There’s gonna be Netflix. You’re gonna show me your geodes.”

“Oh, yeah, you’ll see my geodes all right,” Louis said, and then leaned forward to put his head in his hands. “Okay, can I just ask, what the fuck? Like, what the fuck. You’re an incubus, why are you working as a software engineer?”

Gabe just shrugged again. “You’re a guy, what are you doing working as a software engineer?”

Louis looked up at him with a scowl. “I like money and health insurance?”

Gabe smiled brightly and spread out his hands. “Same!” Louis kept glaring and he laughed a little. “Look, I’m sure I’ll give you the whole story while we go on our many dates, but the short version is that I just like humans. It’s fun to be around you and not just for reasons of feasting upon your nut energy.”

Louis put his hand over his face. “You did not just say ‘nut energy.'”

“I did, but if you didn’t like it, I promise I probably won’t ever say it again,” Gabe said. He slowly stood up, those long, long legs of his working under him like some kind of sexy giraffe. “You ready to rejoin the world?” he said.

“I…” Louis paused. “Actually, I need a minute?”

“An alone minute?” Gabe asked.

“No, no, it’s cool,” Louis said, and brushed his hands back through his hair. He felt awake, really awake, in a way he’d never felt before. “I’ve spent my whole life being only halfway sure of things that I was entirely sure of. That sounds insane, but it’s the only way I know how to describe it. And now… I have something that I absolutely, one hundred percent can’t deny.”

Gabe smiled down at him and held out a hand to help Louis up. “Well, if you liked that, you won’t believe how much other weird shit I can show you.”

“Well,” Louis said as he took Gabe’s hand. The shock felt incredible now. “Fuck.”

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7 thoughts on “Day Job

  1. I love it and I love yooooou, thank you for introducing the concept of the affable midwestern incubus to my eternal id.

  2. Oh, *damn*, this is hot and hilarious and well-characterized and just goddamn superb!

    I pulled out lines I wanted to quote back at you, but my commentary is the same for all of them: basically AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA with a lot of extra snorting.

    like some kind of Slenderman in a henley, and Louis resented how the segments of his brain that controlled fear and arousal were so close to each other

    His new coworker was maybe probably an eldritch horror, but at least he was a nice one?

    “Oh my god, are all sex demons hung up on explicit consent?”
    I really, deeply love and admire how throughout the story (exemplified by these passages) you work “ordinary” and “magic” up against each other in this rising crescendo of hilarity and awkwardness and hotness frottage.

    wild boner seizure
    I’m going to be repeating this to myself ALL WEEK LONG.

  3. Extremely hot, setting the bar incredibly high for any future software companies I might happen to work at. A friendly new guy? More than one woman? Goddamn.

    • haha, inspired by a previous workplace! Where, well, Siva was short for Sivachandar, who is male. But there was more than one woman there!!

  4. OMG, I’m cackling at this and the cats are giving me massive side-eye for it. This was delightful, and super hot.

  5. That was very fun as well as hot.
    A demon wanting or needing (human) health insurance is a funny thought. What would the medical world make of him if he tried to make use of it.

  6. I was laughing in joy the whole time I read this, what a delight! I love both these characters, their banter, and this whole amazing story.

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