Be Gentle With Me

by Kuruki (来木)


After weeks of unfulfilled need that hours of heavy exercise hadn’t begun to dilute, Ale was finally home. He followed Ethan into the apartment and dropped his gym bag before kicking the door shut. The place smelled of Ethan’s spiced coffee and deodorant, but was lacking the essential ingredients of salsa and Ale’s sweat.

Ale waited for Ethan to hang up his suit jacket and put his shoes away before gathering Ethan into his arms. The smell of Ethan’s sweat—knowing it came from sitting in the stands as he watched the match—broke the last of Ale’s control.

He needed Ethan, needed to be inside him. He couldn’t wait. He kissed Ethan’s ear, neck, and shoulder as he unbuttoned Ethan’s shirt from behind. He knew his stubble scratched Ethan’s sensitive skin, but he was too desperate to care.

“Ah-lee,” Ethan moaned as Ale rubbed his hand down the scars that marred Ethan smooth, white chest. Ale loved the way Ethan said his name. He slipped his hand into Ethan’s pants to hear it again. To other people he was Alejandro, Alex, or Hawke, but not to Ethan, who christened him with the nickname the first time he came in Ale’s hand.

“When I saw you today, in the stands,” Ale said as he slipped the shirt off Ethan’s shoulders one handed, his other being fully occupied fingering Ethan’s balls while rubbing the head of Ethan’s cock with the heel of his palm—Ale had huge hands, even for his seventy-six inches. “With your tie off and your sleeves rolled up and your first few buttons undone… I nearly came right then.”

Ethan moaned again. Ale leaned back enough to pull his shirt over his head. He left the t-shirt dangling from his right arm that was tucked into Ethan’s pants as he set to work unbuckling Ethan’s belt. Maybe he should buy Ethan suspenders for his birthday; they were so much sexier—and easier to remove one handed.

“I wanted to shout, ‘See that beautiful man? He’s mine,'” Ale said into Ethan’s shoulder before licking under the ridge of his shoulder blade. “All mine. You’re all mine.”

“Ah-lee,” Ethan called out again, gripping Ale’s right arm with both hands. He leaned back against Ale as if his legs couldn’t hold him up. Ale spread his left hand across Ethan’s chest and leaned him forward, holding up his entire weight. Ethan’s slacks fell to the floor.

“I love you. Since the first moment I saw you. From your first glance. From your first command. From the first time I touched you.” Ale slowly stepped back against the door and bent his knees until they touched the linoleum. Ethan clutched his arm, but Ale would never drop him—ever. “I’ve fallen more and more in love with you.”

Ale slipped his hand from Ethan’s underwear and pulled them down with his teeth and right hand. Then he leaned Ethan’s waist against his shoulder, letting Ethan’s back rest against the door, while he slid his hands between Ethan’s legs, cradling Ethan’s balls in his palm and curling his fingers over the head of his cock. “You’re all I need. All I’ll ever need.”

Ethan squirmed, and Ale rubbed the heel of his palm up the vein on Ethan’s cock, pulling the foreskin up to cover the tip. He wrapped his fist around the end, pulling down then up as he rubbed his chin, lips, and tongue over Ethan’s side.

“Ah-lee, Ah-lee, Aahleeeee,” Ethan cried. Then he came.

With his left hand, Ale reached down for the t-shirt hanging from his right arm as he continued to pump—the way Ethan liked—and pulled it over his right hand. When Ethan gave out his finally shuttered gasp, Ale cleaned them both off. He didn’t mind the mess, but Ethan did—except in the bedroom, which was only steps away.


Ethan’s body rocked forward with the force of Ale’s thrust, the backs of his thighs stinging with each whap of Ale’s hard rocks. His wrists ached with the effort to hold his body off the bed. He shifted his left hand at the wrong time, and his head banged into the wall at the top of the bed. Ale pressed closer, holding Ethan’s hips in the air and digging his fingers into the soft flesh as his body stiffed, a sign he was about to come.

But would he let himself?

Come, just come, Ethan begged silently, sliding his left arm between his head and the wall. Good thing the neighbors weren’t home or the noise would have them pounding on the wall.

Ale started moving again. He hadn’t come. Why hadn’t he come? It wasn’t as if he wouldn’t be hard again before he had a chance to pull out.

I love this man. I love him. I love him. I love him, chanted Ethan to himself as his head banged against his hand. Already awkward from the lose sheets under his toes, Ethan tried to lift his right hand to brace himself away from the wall, but Ale changed his rhythm. Ethan’s sore left wrist was not strong enough to keep his head and shoulder from slamming into the wall.

“Are you all right?” Ale asked, setting Ethan’s knees back on the bed and running a huge hand up his back.

Yeah, Ethan meant to say, as he’d said before, but today anger bubbled over and the truth slipped out.

“Of course not. I’m fragile. I’m breakable.” Ethan got off the bed to look his wide-eyed lover in the eye. “I’m not durable like one of your soccer balls. You can’t be rough with me, then clean me, and put me away and expect me to be happy.”

Shock slid from Ale’s face, replaced by a grin. He stood, not a drop of embarrassment in his magnificent body, and held Ethan from behind with one hand just under Ethan’s ribs and the other running up and down the scars on his chest. “No, you’re not. You’re a princess. You get other people to do things for you.”

“People have to do things for me; I’m disabled,” Ethan said, but he wasn’t angry. He rested his head against Ale’s broad chest. He could feel Ale’s heart beat faster than its normal athlete’s pace. Despite the ease at which he stood, Ale must be worried. Why couldn’t Ethan have held his tongue?

“No you’re not,” Ale said, stroking Ethan’s zipper—the scars left behind from his many heart surgeries. “And anyway stewardesses don’t know about your heart when they bump you up to first class, bus drivers don’t know when they let you off between stops, neither do clerks when they reach things for you off high shelves or go back to get something you forgot.

“People just love you and do whatever they can so you’ll smile at them.”

Ethan tried to hide his grin although Ale couldn’t see it. “Are you one of those, too?”

“Of course,” Ale said. He sat on the edge of the bed and lifted Ethan small, white hand in his large, dark one, kissing the pads of his fingers. “I saw Caroline bustle you out of the car as if you were the most precious thing on Earth. Diamonds and rubies held nothing to you. She had you bundled up in a coat, scarf, and mittens even though the day was warm for spring. And when she unwrapped you inside the house, I wanted to know what made you so special.”

“I was her little preemie, that’s what,” Ethan said. He pulled his hand out of Ale’s and sat on the bed next to him. “Mom still sees me that way. I can’t believe that she let me live with Dad and Brad in the first place.”

“She can’t help but give you what you want. None of us can,” Ale said, laying back. Ethan turned to watch his muscles ripple as he stretched. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I didn’t mean to, but Ethan, you have to tell me when I’m doing something you don’t like. I won’t notice unless you say it; when I’m with you, I get….”

Ale ran his fingers through his inch-long brown hair then laid his arm over his eyes. He looked so vulnerable, despite his large, heavily muscled frame. Ale was Ethan’s greatest weakness, even weaker than his heart. “Intense. When we’re together you’re intense. Really, you’re intense all the time. Who else could workout for hours then practice for hours more every day?”

“The other guys on the team do,” Ale said, lifting his elbow off his eyes.

“Of course they do,” Ethan said, laying back and looking at the ceiling. “They’re all nutjobs like you.”

He slid his foot along Ale’s leg to soften the blow.

“Do you remember the first time I held you?”

“Umm,” Ethan said. He rested a hand across his belly and slid the other behind his neck. “Mom put me to bed at four in the afternoon, but I was feeling so bad after the flight that I didn’t protest.”

“Caroline sent me get you water and when I got back you were already in your pajamas. After she finally left your room, I came back to gaze at you. Your skin was so white and your hair so blond that it looked colorless. I didn’t know anyone from California could be that pale and I’d lived there fourteen years.”

“I told you my new pajamas itched.”

“And I took them off you.”

“Then you got undressed and climbed in beside me.”

“You didn’t protest.”

“You were warm. And smelled good.” Ethan crawled over to snuggle up to Ale, who pulled the sheet up to cover them both. He was still warm and smelled delicious. “You wrapped your arms around me and kissed my neck.”

“If you hadn’t looked so young, I would have done more—especially after you snuggled against me.”

Ethan laughed. “You must remember wrong. You kissed me and I snuggled closer, thinking that I never wanted to sleep anywhere else. And then you ask if my heart was strong enough to survive sex.”

Ale chuckled. “I said come and you asked where.”

“And at the hospital, while my mother was talking to a nurse, I asked my doctor and he said to go for it, that there were worse ways to die.” Ethan sighed, vividly recalling Ale’s reaction to the news. “I miss your kisses.”

“Hey,” Ale said, suddenly still, “I still kiss you.”

“Yeah, but not like you used to. Not all over me until I come.” Ethan climbed onto Ale’s chest, laying a palm over Ale’s hard nipple and resting his chin on top. “You don’t come just by touching me anymore.”

“Should I? I thought you liked me inside you.”

As Ale’s heart beat fast, Ethan looked around the room, searching for a way not to hurt Ale. Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut? He shut his eyes tight and buried his face in Ale’s chest. “I do. But not for so long. After a while it hurts. I love you. I left my dad’s house to live with you.”

Ethan had loved coming home everyday to a house of people just like him, people who had been gay boys in a world of straight ones, who having fought to hide who they were even from themselves, they showed him a better way. The acceptance he received from the two men was worth the tiring plane rides to his mother’s house for his doctor appointments. He’d never wanted to leave their house—until he slept in Ale’s arms.

Ethan felt Ale’s suck in a shaky breath and lifted his head to see a tear run down Ale’s brown cheek.

“Did I hurt you every time? And you never told me? Every time?”


Ale rolled Ethan onto the bed and curled up on his side. “Most of the time?”

Ethan sighed, staring at Ale’s back. Bereft of his warmth, Ethan shivered. “Not even most of the time. Rarely. Only when we haven’t been together in weeks and you hold your stupid climax for what feels like hours.”

“Like today?”

“Like today.” Ethan scooted closer and rested his head on Ale’s side. “The first part was really good though.”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“It’s my fault.” Ethan wiped a tear from Ale’s eye. He shouldn’t have brought it up at all. How likely were they to come across this situation, now that they would be living together again?

Ale slid onto his back, looking up at Ethan. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one that’s no good in bed.”

“No,” Ethan said, running his fingers, feather light, over Ale’s prickly chin. “You’re the best lover in the world. The only one I want.”

“You’re crazy.”

“About you.”

The phone rang, but neither moved. After five rings it went to voice mail or the caller hung up or both. But a moment later, as Ethan’s lips traced Ale’s collar bone, the phone rang again. Ethan cocked his head, “Your mother or mine?”

“Yours. Isabel just wants to say that she saw the match. She leaves messages.”

“My mom will want to see if her baby boy is still alive. You’d think that after the twins were born, she’d let up on me.”

The phone was silent for a moment then started ringing again. Ale sighed. “Are you going to get it?”

Ethan went into the living room and unplugged the phone. When he came back, Ale was sitting at the edge of the bed, looking surprised, maybe because Ethan returned so quickly. “I haven’t seen you in weeks. You’re all I want.”

“Even if I’m a lousy lover?”

Ethan launched himself at the bed, knowing that Ale would catch him. “Quit that!”

He wrapped his arms around Ale’s neck, kissing his scratchy chin. He recalled the advice he received when he finally got the courage to tell his father about his little problem. Dad said ‘if he loves you, he’ll be gentle’ but Brad, who was nearly as tall as Ale, although wiry, said that gentle for Ale, who could bench press two grown men, was different from gentle to ‘us mere mortals’—that Ale might have to be shown. And, he added with a glance at Ethan’s dad, a switch in positions never hurt.

Ethan’s dad had blushed bright red.

At the time, Ethan couldn’t imagine his dad topping and he was thee inches taller and weighed thirty more pounds than Ethan—who was the size of an average thirteen year old. If Dad could top, couldn’t Ethan? He backed off the bed. “Get up.”


“Come on,” Ethan said, tugging on Ale’s arm. “Let’s take a shower.”

Ale got up and followed Ethan. “I took one at the stadium.”

“You didn’t shave.”

“You want me to?”

“I want you to suck me. With whiskers as long as these,” Ethan reached up and rubbed Ale’s neck, “it’s beyond itchy.”

Ale stopped just outside the bathroom door. “Why didn’t you say so before?”

“You normally shave every day.” Ethan shrugged. “And a five o’clock shadow feels….”


“Somewhere between climatic and orgasmic. Get in here.”

Ale stepped into the bathroom as Ethan turned the shower on. Ethan pulled two towels out from under the sink, setting them on the edge of the counter. He tested the water again; it was just right. “Come in when you’re ready.”

“You’re taking one, too?”

Ethan nodded and stepped in. He closed his eyes, letting the water wash over him. Would Ale get in? Would he let Ethan led? Would…?

Ale pulled back the shower curtain enough to step inside and Ethan grinned. Ale loved him and he loved Ale. Everything would be fine. “Come on. Get under the water.”

“No. If I stand in front, you won’t get wet at all.”

Ethan sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Princess Ethan says this is your shower. Now get over here.”

Ale chuckled, but obeyed. He ducked his head to wet his hair and Ethan realized he forgot a washcloth. He climbed out quickly, dripping all over the floor, and fetched one. Ale raised his eyebrows as Ethan got back in the shower. Ethan ignored him, pumping several squirts of the hypoallergenic baby bath his mother always sent him onto the washcloth and turned Ale, attacking his back.

Ale moaned his name. Point one to the princess. Ethan scrubbed with both hands up Ale’s back to his neck, where he moved across Ale’s right shoulder and down his arm.

“You like doing this?” asked Ale as Ethan moved to his other side. Ale’s back, now slick with soap, was too much for Ethan to resist. Ale started to turn, and Ethan removed his hands. “Stand still. I need to get your legs.”

A few more pumps and Ethan was on his way down the outside of Ale’s thigh, the back of his knee, his strong calf, his ankle, and then he moved back up the other leg, finishing with the inside of Ale’s thighs. Ale hissed and Ethan couldn’t hide his chuckle.

“Think that’s funny do you?” Ale asked as Ethan set the washcloth aside and soaped his hands to give Ale’s butt a thorough cleaning.

“I like turning you on. So sue me.”

“I won’t do that,” Ale said, his voice lusty deep. “But I can think of all sorts of thing I will do.”

“Not now,” Ethan said as business-like as he could under the circumstances. “Turn around. Now put your hand on the wall above my head.”

“You’re gonna make me watch, aren’t you?”

Ethan bit his lip to hide his smile and nodded, not trusting his voice under Ale’s heated gaze. More soap on the cloth and Ethan started at Ale’s waist, moving up.

“You realize that I haven’t come yet.”

“That was your own fault, Mr. Endurance. I gave you every opportunity.” At Ale’s shoulders, Ethan started down again. He slid to his knees before soaping his hands to clean Ale’s family jewels. Ale hissed, moaned, and thrashed around.

“Keep your hands on the wall.”

“You’re torturing me.”

“Yes,” Ethan said, cupping both Ale’s big, hard rocks in one hand and finger painting his dick with soap. “I am.”

Ale hissed again, pushing his dick against Ethan’s fingers. Ethan wrapped both his hands around it. “And I’m not going to let you go until you come in my hands.”

Breathing heavily, Ale shook his head. He thrust his hips forward forcing his dick to move in Ethan’s tight grasp. “No. You don’t like to get dirty.”

“We’re in the shower. What does it matter?”

Ale shook his head again, spattering Ethan with warm drops. “You hate… you hate to get dirty. I’ll get it everywhere.”

“I don’t care. Cover me with your love.”

After the briefest of hesitations, Ale rocked forward, his muscles hardening while he gasped for breath. His dick pulsed in Ethan’s grasp and Ethan leaned forward, holding the precious thing against his chest as it gave up Ale’s pleasure.

Ale sagged against the wall, his eyes closed and breath heavy. A little water sprinkled on Ethan, but mostly he was splashed with drops that bounced off the bottom of the tub. He rose to his feet and, passing Ale, stood beneath the water. The shower stall no longer simply smelled of soap and water. If only Ale would fill the air with the musky scent more often.

After he was clean, Ethan turned. Ale held his breath as if readying himself for bad news and said, “I knew it. You didn’t like it.”

“There is something I regret,” Ethan said, nodding. “I should have sucked you.”


Ale stood in front of the bathroom sink, staring into the foggy mirror. What was up with Ethan? First, he said how much he hated Ale’s… technique, and then he couldn’t keep his hands off. Ale wiped the last of the shaving cream off his cheek. Ethan said to shave then come out. What was he planning?

Normally, Ale lived at home through the entire season, only gone every other weekend for the away games and even then Ethan travelled with him. But this season Ale moved to a better division—and a team that based over an hour away. He’d commuted at first, but his new coach was a dictator. He demanded Ale move. Ethan, Ale’s jokes aside, really couldn’t take that long of a commute to college every day and now he had that office job….

Ale put his soul into this season, skipping time he could have spent with Ethan—nights they could have been together—to be noticed by recruiters in the top division. Unlike most of the men on his team, Ale didn’t have a day job, but he didn’t have to live on the small salary he got from the team. Isabel’s greatest gift—besides allowing him to be born—was the rich, Puerto Rican businessman she married, who paid Ale a generous allowance every month so he could concentrate on his game.

Finally, Ale had been noticed. Today he had offers from not only the local team, but from one in the city where Ethan had been offered a job now that his internship—the only thing that kept him from graduating in June—was nearly over.

But did Ethan still want that job? How much had changed since they last spoke of the future? Ale used to think he knew everything about Ethan, but today proved that wrong.

Ale sighed and wiped the fog off the mirror with his damp towel. He rubbed his fingers along his cheeks, chin, and neck, searching for hair that the razor missed. Maybe he should go over his face again just to make sure. He lifted the shaving cream then set it back down and leaned his hands against the edge of the counter, hanging his head.

He didn’t want to leave the bathroom. What he would find on the other side of the door? Would he like it? Had Ethan changed so much in the weeks Ale was away or had he always been this way and Ale was such a loser that he never noticed?

The phone rang, but not a full ring. Ethan was probably checking in with his mother. Ale wrapped the damp towel around his waist, opened the bathroom door, and looked out. Ethan was sitting on the edge of the end table, talking on the phone. His blond hair fell over his eyes when he leaned forward and his milk-pale skin showed in all its beauty. His zipper was pale pink and white; the latest scar was over five years old.

Ale leaned against the door frame, watching Ethan talk. He nodded and waved his hand around like he did when he wanted the caller to stop talking. Ale smirked; Ethan could never be rude to his mother. Ale got a glass from the kitchen, filled it with water from the fridge, and handed it to Ethan, taking the phone. “Mom?”

“Alexander? Is that you?”

“Yes, Mom. Ethan sat in the heat watching my match. He’s drinking water, but I think he should rest for a while.”

“Oh, Alex. You’re such a good boy. I’ll let you go. When you put him to bed, give him a kiss from me.”

“Sure thing, Mom. Good-bye.”

“Good-bye, Darlings.”

Ale leaned across Ethan to hang up the phone. Ethan smirked. “Boot licker.”

“Ah,” said Ale, “that’s better than ass kisser, unless of course, the ass is yours.”

He planted a hand to each side of Ethan’s bare thighs and breathed on his neck, moving up to his ear and across his cheek without touching his skin. If Ethan wanted kisses so much, then what about the moment before the kiss? Ale stopped over Ethan’s mouth, moving his gaze from Ethan’s pink lips to his crystal blue eyes.

“You’ve,” Ethan panted, “certainly got self-control.”

“Of course,” Ale said, sliding to his knees as he breathed down Ethan’s body. “If I didn’t, I would have come running home that first night and had my fill of you.”

Ethan writhed as Ale breathed against his belly, his cock standing at attention. “You think you can ever get your fill of me?”

Ale sat back on his heels, letting his eyes devour the one he loved. “If I held you for the rest of my life, it still wouldn’t be long enough. You are my breath, my life, my tomorrow. Without you, even if my heart kept beating, I wouldn’t be alive.”

Ethan slid his tongue between his teeth as he grinned. “Very pretty, especially coming from a jock.”

“Tease me all you want, but let me touch you.”

Ethan stood. “What’s stopping you?”

Ale lifted his hands, but stopped inches from Ethan’s chest. “You are. I thought you had a plan.”

Ethan smiled and cocked his head as if remembering something funny. “You’re right. I do. Now, lover boy, go into the bedroom and wait for me on the bed. You’re not going to need this.”

He tugged the towel from Ale’s hips and whistled as he entered the bathroom and closed the door. Ale checked the front door. Ethan must have locked it. He refilled the glass and brought it into the bedroom. The pillows were back in place and the blankets lay pleated on the chest at the end of the bed, where with a single tug they would slide into their proper position.

Ale flung himself across the bed, letting his head hang off Ethan’s side. On the wall was a picture Caroline took in the hospital after one of Ethan’s surgeries. She had the picture blown up, matted, and set in an expensive frame. A small plaque affixed to the matting read ‘Brotherly Love’, but then she was oblivious to anything she didn’t want to see.

In the photo, wires and tubes ran from under Ethan’s light blue hospital gown, across the faded sheets, to machines outside the frame. Ethan’s fair skin was paler than normal from the ordeal of surviving surgery. Ale was the only real color in the picture—with his bright colored shorts, his dark body snuggled against Ethan’s, his brown arms wrapped carefully around him to avoid the tubes and wires, his long hair flowing across his cheek and onto Ethan’s pale head.

How could anyone look at the photograph of the boys’ intertwined bodies and not see the kind of love they shared?

Caroline thought they were cute, took their picture, and told the nurses, who woke Ale, making him get out of the bed. Immediately Ethan’s blood pressure spiked, but calmed after Ale climbed back in and cuddled close. The nurses never bugged Ale about sleeping with Ethan again. Caroline bought a queen sized bed for Ethan’s room, so the boys could always sleep together.

She’d had no idea that they already were.

Or what they were doing in that bed.

After years of washing their bedding, she still refused to see that Ale and Ethan were lovers rather than roommates. If Ale told her he was trying to get Ethan into bed, she would take it in the most innocent way possible. But then she hadn’t realized that her first husband was gay even when he couldn’t get it up for her unless he was tipsy.

But for all her deliberate ignorance, she was a nice woman, who gave birth to three wonderful boys. And she took Ale in as her own after his abuela died, even though Caroline hadn’t known he existed until he showed up on her doorstep with a suitcase.

A moan came from the doorway and Ale looked up to see Ethan leaning against the door frame. He stepped further into the room and his eyes flowed over Ale as if he was a hungry lion and Ale his prey. “Delicious.”

Ale chuckled. “Are you going to devour me now?”

“Maybe,” Ethan said. He stopped at Ale’s feet and cocked his head. “Or I might eat you slowly, savoring every morsel.”

The blood that pooled in Ale’s head as it hung over the edge of the bed moved swiftly and with force to another part of his anatomy, leaving him light headed and hard.

Ethan’s eyes grew wide. He butted his legs against Ale’s feet until he spread them and leaned his knees against the bed. Ale sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed, and reached for Ethan before remembering this was Ethan’s game. He slipped his fingers under his thighs to keep his hands under control and looked up at the one he loved most in the world. “Tell me what you want. I will do anything.”

A cat’s grin spread over Ethan’s face. “Anything?”

“Your wish,” Ale breathed, “is my command.”

Ethan stepped back and tapped two fingers against his lips. “My wish…. What do I want…? I want you to lie in the bed with your hands flat against the wall. You should toss the pillows off, I think.”

Ale tossed Ethan’s pillows off his side of the bed and passed his to Ethan who dropped it behind him. He laid out full length on the bed with his elbows bent and his palms resting against the wall just above his head.

Ethan looked him over critically. “Scoot down a bit. I don’t want your head to bump into your hands.”

Like Ethan’s had.

“What’s that about?” Ethan asked, motioning to Ale’s deflated cock. “What are you thinking about?”

Ale turned his head away. But Ethan climbed onto the bed, and stroked his slim fingers against Ale’s chin until he turned back and their eyes met. “What a lousy lover I am.”

Ethan smiled. “That’s why tonight’s lesson is ‘What Ethan Wants’.”


Ethan laughed. “No, slave boy. You’ve got all the basics down. This is a graduate studies course of the finer techniques that were glossed over in the introductory classes due to time limitations.”

“Time limitations,” Ale said, pressing his fingers against the wall. “We’ve known each other for how long? Seven years? And we’ve been together that entire time. Shouldn’t I know what you like by now?”

“Ale, my love, people change. I’m not the same scared kid you met all those years ago. I’ve grown. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“I have.”

“You’ve grown, too. About a foot, I think.”

“Nine inches.”

Ethan laughed, running his fingers down Ale’s chest. “We’ve grown together: body, mind, and soul. Together.” He ran his fingers lightly along Ale’s hardened cock. “Now that’s what I like to see; you’ve got nice and hard for me again. Our first lesson will be: Coming.”

“I think I know that one,” Ale gasped out as Ethan took his cock firmly in hand.

Ethan shook his head. “No. You use to be good at it. I remember when you used to come seven times in one evening, but you must have picked up a bad habit somewhere. Listening to the guys in the locker room, probably.”

Ale couldn’t deny it. Locker rooms were full of sex talk and most of the men on his first team where much older than he was. They agreed that holding it made it better. “Quality over quantity.”

“But,” Ethan said, his hand froze mid-pump. “Quality for who? Why do I get just one now? I love to feel you come inside of me. You need to come inside me once to make me… slippery. Then I wouldn’t care if you held it all night.”

Ethan leaned down and took the tip of Ale’s cock in his mouth and caressed his balls. Ale took several deep breaths in an effort not to squirm. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“I thought it was a phase,” Ethan said, coming up for air. “I’m not letting you go until you come.”

He set back to work. Ale’s body heated and his vision blurred. Is this what Ethan truly wanted? To go back to the time at their parent’s house when they would touch each other until the sheets where soaked with cum and the air filled its musky scent? When they shared a shower every morning after peeling the sheets from their sticky skin?

How long had it been since Ethan sucked him off? Years? He was as good as ever. Ethan pulled off, replacing his mouth with his hands as he sucked each ball in turn. Ale blinked the growing mist from his eyes until he could see the fair skin against his dark. Ethan looked at him with a smile as he moved back to Ale’s cock, sucking it in. He wiggled his ass in the air.

Ale moaned. He wanted to reach—touch—taste…. His body heated to boiling and convulsed as his vision clouded. He came and came and came and Ethan continued to suck and swallow. He wanted to take him. He needed to touch him, to be inside him.

“Put your hands back on the wall.”

With a raggedy sigh, Ale complied. “Aren’t we done?”

“No, lover boy, we have only just started.” Ethan sat up and moved just far enough from Ale that their skin no longer touched. “Now what did you learn?”

“That you didn’t lose your touch.”

Ethan laughed again. “Besides that. What about ‘orgasms are fun’?”

Ale bent his knee until his thigh rubbed Ethan’s arm. “I already knew that.”

“This was a reminder.” Ethan turned slightly, resting his back against Ale’s leg. “I can’t imagine that any of those guys had as much sex as we had.”

“That’s probably true.” The few with wives or live-in girlfriends had small children.

“So why did you listen to them?”


Ethan put an arm under Ale’s bent knee and rested his fingers on top. Ale looked stunned. Ethan tried to hold in a grin, but it escaped. “Didn’t think about that, did you, my darling lover?”

Ale lifted a hand from the wall then carefully put it back. “Sorry.”

Was he apologizing for listening to the other players or for moving his hand? Not that it mattered. “You are forgiven.”

“So this,” Ale wiggled his fingers, “isn’t punishment?”

Ethan shook his head. He grinned, stoking the muscles on Ale’s inner thigh as he leaned forward. “Don’t you want to know what it feels like to let me lead?”

Ale moaned and closed his eyes. Ethan laughed. “Watch me.”

“Sadist,” Ale said, but he opened his eyes and fixed them on Ethan’s. “Do your worst.”

“Or my best?”

Ale moaned again. Ethan rubbed his body against Ale as he settled high on Ale’s wide chest. “I’m going to start at the top and move down. Then you’re going to turn over and I’ll move back up.”

“Oh,” said Ale, his eyes riveted to Ethan dick only inches from his chin. “So the evil villain, who having captured our hero, now spills his diabolical plan.”

Ethan bit his bottom lip, trying unsuccessfully to hide his grin. “So, Intrepid Hero, are you going to try to get away?”

Ale’s eyes caressed Ethan body as they rose to meet his. “What if I do?”

“I have rope, but I don’t want to use it. Torture is so much worse when you do it yourself.”

“Bondage? I had no idea.”

“And that’s why I told you my plan. The anticipation.”

“If heroes were tortured like this, I think they would go out of their way to get caught.”

Ale’s voice was light, but not enough to hide the hurt. Ethan slid back to Ale’s waist and, setting his hands on the bed to each side of Ale’s chest, leaned forward until his lips were just above Ale’s perfect chin. “What’s wrong? You don’t like it?”

Ethan kissed Ale’s chin then licked his jaw. Ale tasted of shaving cream and soap, but the underlying flavor of Ale’s skin was what hardened him. Ethan moved up and sucked on Ale’s earlobe, which so soon after a match was still without an earring. Ale moaned beneath him, but one without enthusiasm. Ethan sat back and looked into Ale’s eyes that were so dark they were almost black. Ethan could easily lose himself in those eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“How long?”

“How long have I wanted to tie you up and have my way with you?”

Ale, his eyes locked with Ethan’s, nodded mutely. Ale’s pain was so close to the surface. What were these last few weeks—months—like for him? Had he missed Ethan half as much as Ethan missed him? That wasn’t possible. Ethan leaned down to kiss the pain away. “I’ve been thinking about having my way with you for the last few weeks….”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Over the phone? I wanted to see you, touch you, tell you all at once.”


“My beloved,” Ethan said, wiping the gathering moisture from Ale’s right eye. “Don’t second guess yourself. You are the one I love. The only one I want. The only one I’ve ever wanted. No one else even turns me on—man or woman. Nobody. I was born for you. Don’t let our time apart ruin our time together. If you leave me, I’ll be forever alone.”


“And anyway,” Ethan said, pressing his swollen dick into Ale’s belly, “I just decided on the bondage today.”

“But the rope?”

“Brad gave that to me as an early birthday present. You know what he’s like.”

“And how.”

“I couldn’t tie you up anyway. You’re too strong. You’d either snap the rope or bend whatever I tied it to. And,” Ethan said, sitting back and running a hand down Ale’s chest. “Anything I did to you would be meaningless if you weren’t with me the entire way.”

Ale’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and Ethan rolled Ale’s left nipple between his finger tips. “Besides, if I had you actually tie up, I’d have to untie you when I wanted you to touch me.”

“Are you likely to?” Ale asked after a shaky sigh.

“What I love most in the world is your big, warm hands on my skin. But first, let me touch you.”

Ale moaned and Ethan bent again, teasing Ale’s nipple between his teeth. He shifted his legs, so one was between Ale’s, their hard dicks side-by-side, but not quite touching. He would make Ale come without touching his dick. Years ago, before they discover the overwhelming ecstasy of Ale inside Ethan, they used to find new ways to get each other off all the time. What had happened?


Ethan sat up. He fought the urge to ask, ‘what now?’ and raised his eyebrows. Ale was biting his lower lip, making him look like a big puppy, maybe a Labrador or Boxer.

“We can either talk or have sex. Which do you want first?” Ethan tried to keep exasperation out of his voice, but from Ale’s hurt expression, he hadn’t succeeded. “After you come again, I’ll let you asked me anything. I’m the villain; I’m not supposed to be nice.”

A grin spread across Ale’s wide lips, and Ethan wiped it away by taking possession of Ale’s tongue. The kiss was just what Ethan needed and when he sucked as much of Ale’s tongue into his mouth as he could, he drove his tongue into Ale’s mouth, rubbing their tongues across each other. Ale’s moaned deep in his throat and pulled his tongue back. Ethan sucked on Ale’s lower lip and shifted his body until he straddled Ale’s chest, his elbows on the bed between Ale’s arms and head. He slid his left hand under Ale’s head, tipping it for a better angle and dove back into Ale’s mouth.

Ale’s body tensed and he did not give up his tongue as easily, but Ethan persevered. He slid his right hand between his chest and Ale’s, teasing a nipple. Ale gasped and Ethan took the opportunity to suck in his tongue. Ethan wanted Ale inside him. His gut hurt and butt ached, but this time Ale would feel the need.

Spots were floating before his eyes before he let Ale up for air. Ale recovered first. He always did. When the spots disappeared Ethan licked Ale’s lower lip then slid inside to explore. Being inside Ale, even just his mouth, was a heady, euphoric feeling. He licked the top of Ale’s mouth and slid the tip of his tongue to that soft, fleshy part under Ale’s tongue before the spots returned.

He leaned back taking in huge gasps and savored Ale’s glazed eyes and flushed face. If he could get enough air through his nose or find a rhythm for taking breaths, Ethan might even come just from the kisses.

Ethan shifted to lick Ale’s arm from his elbow to his underarm with long sure strokes. Ale’s underarm smelled of fresh sweat, an earthy, natural smell, something that no deodorant could complete with. Ethan moaned into Ale’s hair. They were certainly made for each other if Ale’s natural aroma got Ethan this hard. He was going to lose it, going to come.

He pulled himself away, fighting his overheated body and fuzzy brain.

“You are so sexy.”

Ethan blinked several times until Ale’s handsome face came into focus. Lust filled Ale’s eyes and his fingers were white where they pressed the wall as he whispered, “You are so lush and beautiful. Your soft white skin, your flushed face, your bright cock that belongs to no one but me.”

Ethan could take it no more and leaned over Ale’s face, propping his hands against the wall above Ale’s. Ale didn’t move his hands as he licked Ethan’s quivering chest, murmuring words of love and lust until, with a cry, Ethan came.

He pulled himself together enough to make sure Ale was breathing under him. Cum covered Ale’s neck and upper chest, but he didn’t seem to mind. Ethan, breath still ragged, reached for the wet washcloth he’d set on his nightstand after their shower.

The cloth was cold, but Ale didn’t protest as Ethan carefully cleaned him off. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Ethan set the cloth aside and settled back on Ale. “But you can’t sidetrack me. We aren’t going to talk until you come.”

“Oh, what I sacrifice for you.”

Ethan grinned, running his fingers up and down Ale’s sides. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

Ale shifted and Ethan fell forward. Ethan, his lips inches from Ale’s, pouted. “You did that on purpose.”

He kissed Ale briefly then slid down his body with as much contact as he could. Ale moaned. Ethan grinned. “Serves you right.”

Ethan wiggled his thighs between Ale’s and sucked hard on Ale’s right nipple, teasing the other with his fingers. The nipples, already hard, swelled as he played with them, moving his mouth from one to the other. His dick rubbed against Ale’s with each switch and Ale moaned, groaned, and finally began to thrash. Ethan took a nipple in each hand and licked his way down Ale’s writhing body. His chest rubbed against Ale’s throbbing dick and he felt Ale tense like he did right before he came.

“Ethan?” Ale panted with need. “But….”

“Don’t think. Just feel. Just come.”

To tip favor his way, Ethan drove his tongue into Ale’s sensitive belly button. He swirled his tongue inside and sucked it, nipping the edge and then he enter the small hole again imagining what he would do with Ale’s ass.

Ale pushed his pelvis up against Ethan’s chest, and Ethan felt the rhythmic contractions of Ale’s dick as he released his seed. Ethan didn’t let up on his ministrations to Ale’s belly until all the moans and gasps were over and Ale was lying relaxed under him.

Relaxed except for his dick, which was hard and at attention.

Ethan sat up and scooted to the top of the bed. He kissed Ale before reaching for the cloth. He cleaned himself—the cloth was very cold—then put it back.

“What about me?”

“You?” Ethan said, sliding his fingers along Ale’s moist stomach. “I made an executive decision. The cloth is too cold. I’ll just have to lick you clean.”

“What?” Ale’s hands came off the wall for a moment. He met Ethan’s eyes then relaxed back down. “You can do that?”

“Watch me.”

Ethan licked Ale’s belly clean and was about to start on his dick when, between moans, Ale gasp out, “I thought we would talk.”

Ethan wiggled around until he could look Ale in the eye without giving up his dick. “What do you want to say?”

“Stop for a second.”

“No.” Ethan licked down Ale’s dick and, just before sucking one of Ale’s hard rocks, said, “I can still listen.”

Ale hissed. “But,” he gasped, “I can’t talk.”

Ethan, moving to the other rock, said, “Sure you can. You talk all the time during sex.”

Ale lifted a hand then put it back and tilled his chin up until Ethan couldn’t see his face. “I want to talk about something important.”

Ethan gave in. He settled against Ale’s chest. “I’m ready.”

Ale took a deep breath. “Marry me. Or at least take my name.”



“You heard me. I’m possessive and jealous and all that; I want to share a name with you.”

Ethan shifted on Ale’s chest and Ale wanted to hold him close and run gentle fingers along his pale skin. “You could take mine.”

“Why?” Ale said, trying to be reasonable. “You could change yours without much hassle; just let Dad adopt you as Caroline wants.”

“No. Your dad will never be mine. I like sharing a name with my father. Anyway Ethan Hawke is an actor’s name.”

Ale could understand where Ethan was coming from. Ale didn’t even want his dad as a father, but if Ethan didn’t want to share his name, what could Ale do but pretend he wasn’t hurt? “Well, Alexander Hamilton was a founding father.”

“Yeah, but no one knows about him.”

“I do.”

“Well then, no one but you,” Ethan said, sitting up. Ale turned his head rather than meet Ethan’s eye. But they’d know each other too long. Ethan ran a hand down Ale’s jaw. If Ale obstinately kept his head turned or refused to meet his eyes, Ethan would be able to read him anyway. Their eyes met for a second before Ethan moved his attention to Ale’s mouth. He traced Ale’s lips with delicate fingers. “What about Hawkilton?”

Ale relaxed and laughed. “That better than Hamilke.”

“Hawton? The first three of one and the last three of the other?”

“But the first two are the same regardless,” Ale shifted until Ethan settled back against his chest. Their position, except for Ale’s arms, was how they lay every time they talked about something serious like surgeries, colleges, or parents. “How would you pronounce H-A-M-W-K-E? Hamwuk?”

Ethan shook his head. “You wouldn’t. Hamawke?”

“That sounds like hammock.”

“It does. It does.”

Ale could feel Ethan’s gentle heart beats and his soft breaths. He could stay this way forever. Except his arms were aching from staying in the same position. He lifted one cautiously and stretched it out before replacing it and doing the other. Ethan said nothing, but when Ale was back in position, he sat up with a smile. “We can think about it for a while, but we should try to make a decision before you new team prints your shirts.”

Ale wanted to ask if Ethan still planned on accepting the job he’d been offered, but fear stayed his tongue. Had this last year of sacrifices been for nothing? Despite Ethan’s words, were they growing apart? Would Ale be alone in the world again?

He turned his head searching for something not so volatile to ask. The wash cloth lay on the nightstand. “Ethan, when did you start hating cum?”

“I don’t.”

“Then why…?”

“Why what? Did you mean why I stopped wanting to go at it in the living room?”

Ale remember how sudden Ethan’s change was, how surprised he’d been, how hurt. “Yeah.”

“That was because—two reasons. You know Senora Torrez, who brings us food whenever you’re home? The tamales in the fridge are from her.”

“Yum. She cooks the same way my abuela did.”

“Well, when she comes over to bring her home cooking, she can always spot the white stains, no matter how much I scrub them. Maybe she can smell it in the air.”

Ale laughed. “She embarrasses you. But you could have told me before.”

Ethan shook his head. “She makes you feel comfortable. I didn’t want to take that away. And she means well. Although, sitting through her advice on how to please a Mexican in bed isn’t easy even with her halting English and my inadequate Spanish.”

Ale laughed. “I don’t think you need that advice. You please me to no end.”

Ethan smiled. “Well anyway, I’ve decided that if it doesn’t embarrass her, then it shouldn’t rattle me. Which leaves the other problem. Remember our blinds don’t close all the way? How I complained, how they keep promising to give us new ones, but never have?”

“Probably because only people standing directly in front of our door can see in.”

“Well, that was part of the problem. Mrs. Berry—you remember her? The old lady with red hair? Her grandson lived with her. They moved out last month.”

“He was just a kid, early teens. What about him?”

“He would watch us.”

Ale sat up, dumping Ethan onto the bed. He got up and paced back and forth. Then he turned to Ethan, who looked put out. “How could he? That little shit.”

“Ale, get back on the bed.”

“Not yet. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ethan patted the bed and arched his eyebrow. “What would you have done? Threatened him? Beat him up? That would have ended your soccer career. I couldn’t let that happen.”

Ale breathed in deeply. “So, you decided not to say anything.”

“I bought curtains. But you stopped asking and with classes I took that semester…. Come on. Lie back down.”

Ale reluctantly sat on the bed and scooted into place. He sighed. He wasn’t angry at Ethan. Who could be, no matter what he did? “Well,” Ale said as he lay back down and pressed his hands against the wall, “at least the boy had good taste.”

“I’d say he did. He drooled every time he looked at you.”

“What?” Ale tried to sit up again but Ethan had settled atop his chest, his knees pinning Ale’s shoulders down.

“Yeah,” Ethan said, with a smirk. “He lusted after you. He couldn’t help it.”

“Like you can’t.”

“I don’t know,” said Ethan with a shrug. “I’ve never tried.”


“I’m the villain remember. You’re the hero.”

“I thought you were the princess.”

Ethan laughed, a sound that hardened Ale. “What about an evil princess about to have his way with you?”

“If I must lose my virtue, let it be to you.”

“Oh, my love,” Ethan whispered as he slid down Ale’s body and planted a kiss in the hollow of his neck. “You say the cheesiest things.”

Ale lifted his hips, grinding them into Ethan’s. “Anything for you.”

Ethan moaned against Ale’s chest then lifted his head. “But do you mean it? Can I take you? You really won’t mind?”

“Do you need to ask?”

“Oh, right.” Ethan smiled with his tongue between his teeth. “I’m the villain and I’m going to take you whether you like it or not.”

“Or you’re the princess about to reward me for my patience.”

Ethan laughed, slipping down Ale’s body. He wiggled between Ale’s legs, but Ale didn’t have time to feel exposed before he sucked Ale’s cock into his mouth as he slid a hand down the shaft, past his balls, to his ass. Ethan’s finger pushed against his hole and Ale moaned.

The bed shook as Ethan sat up suddenly. Had he changed his mind? Ethan’s face was red as he ran out of the room, but he was back in seconds later. “I forgot this. I left it in hot water to warm it up, but forgot to bring it with me.”

He flashed the lube bottle before crawling back into place. This time when his fingers made their way to Ale’s hole, they were slick. Ethan didn’t bother with just one finger; he went straight to two. Ale gasped as they delved in, but half—or more—of his brain was distracted by what Ethan was doing to his cock. Ethan sucked hard and Ale felt as if he was swelling to fill the space, then Ethan pulled all the way off, grazing Ale with his teeth, before plunging back down. While doing all this, he wiggled his fingers back and forth inside Ale before pulling out. He fingers came in again, easier this time, but they only stayed long enough to brush Ale’s hot spot.

Is this what Ethan felt like? No wonder he was reluctant to share. Ethan’s fingers came in again—more of them. Three, four, Ale couldn’t tell, but they were slick with lube. Ah, one must be his thumb. Ale felt the stretch and a gasp broke his rhythmic pants. Ethan’s fingers moved in and out, until all at once Ale’s muscles relaxed and the fingers no longer felt tight. Ethan pulled Ale’s cock from his mouth and rubbed the moist tip with his fingers as he rooted between Ale’s legs until he got one of Ale’s balls in his mouth.

The sensations—front, back and center—were too much for Ale. “I’m gonna come.”

Ethan lifted his head, panting. “I’m ready when you are.”

He switched to the other ball and wrapped his hand around Ale’s cock, pulling the skin back, then up. With his other hand, his fingers—two? three?—found Ale’s hot spot again and rubbed it mercilessly.

Ethan moved Ale’s cock to his mouth and sucked hard. Ale body heated to the boiling point and vision fill with white, brighter than the dim room. Ethan’s fingers, deep inside him, stilled as Ale’s muscles contracted around them. Ale moaned deep in his throat before his pleasure bubbled over, filling his body with ecstasy and numbing his mind to everything but Ethan in, on, around him.

Ale shook his head, his body spent. “I love you. I love you. If I’d known,” he panted, “you could make me feel so good, I’d’ve demanded equal time.”

Ethan kissed each of Ale’s balls. “Good?”

“Better than good,” Ale said, still trying to catch his breath. “I though nothing was better than you sucking me off. I was wrong.”

Laughter bubbled from Ethan. Ale thought after that wonderful experience, he’d never be hard again, but Ethan’s joy was too much for Ale’s tired cock. Ethan ran his fingers possessively over it. “I guess you’re ready for more.”

Ale couldn’t deny either his body or Ethan. “Be gentle with me.”

Ethan laughed again, hiding his head in his hands until he choked, tears running down his face. “I…I love you. I love you so much. If…If I spent the rest of my life proclaiming it, you would still never understand the length and breadth of my love.”

Ale’s heart warmed. He smiled. “Talk about cheesy lines; we should be Asiago and Emmental Havarti. But am I really that funny?”

“No,” Ethan said, wiping his eyes. “I’m just happy. With that one little line…. You are giving your big, strong body to me and worry that fragile, little me could break you.”

“You could break my heart.”

“I can’t,” Ethan said, tugging on Ale’s hands from the wall and holding them against his chest. “You are my heart. Every ounce of pain that I inflict on you, no matter how inadvertent, comes back on me threefold. I love you with my life and breath, with my all my heart weak as it may be.”

Ale rubbed his hands up Ethan’s chest and down his arms. “I will take it. Your heart, your love. It is strong enough for me.”

“Good,” Ethan said and kissed Ale’s fingers. “Because, in a moment, I’m going to put your conviction to the test. Turn over.”

“Kiss me first.”

Ethan’s lips tasted of Ale’s seed. His tongue explored and Ale did his best to keep up. He ran his hands over Ethan’s body trying to make up for the last few months in the shortest time possible. Ethan, normally putty in his hand, had his own ideas. Ale let Ethan roll him over and wriggle out from under him.

The kisses started at his neck and moved down. Ale felt Ethan harden against his back and wiggled his hips, causing Ethan to slide onto the bed. “You’re not playing fair.”

“I can’t wait.”

“I love you, too. Move your arm.”

Ethan positioned Ale, kneeling between Ale’s spread knees several times, until he got Ale exactly where he wanted him. “Can you stay like this?”

Ale felt like he was in the middle of a push up, but he did three hundred a day. No problem. “For you, all night.”

“Good,” Ethan said, running a hand down Ale’s belly. He snuggled his hips against Ale’s ass, his cock along the crack. He kissed Ale’s spine, then moved down. He picked up a rhythm quickly, his hand pumping Ale’s cock, his fingers widening his hole, his mouth whispering sweet nothings against Ale’s skin.

The moment Ale’s ass muscles relaxed allowing Ethan easy access, he drove his cock inside. The dance of Ethan’s fingers hadn’t prepared Ale’s for his longer cock, but the tightness was sweet and powerful, every pump driving him closer to that great white edge.

Ale reached down between his legs and pulled Ethan’s balls against his own, rubbing them together. He let go as Ethan pulled out and gasp as Ethan forced himself even further in, crying Ale’s name.

White light burnt his eyes and his blood boiled as ecstasy took him. He wouldn’t change places with anyone in the world, because no one had it as well off as he did. No one else had Ethan. And no one else ever would.

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