by Chikyouiko (小胸囲娘)
I wouldn’t by any means classify myself as a ‘relationship expert’. What teenage boy is? But I have flicked through my older sister’s magazine collection once or twice, so that may give me a slight advantage over my peers. I mean, who would know more about ‘How to Soothe a Sulking Significant-Other’ than some chick who works at Too Cool magazine? Aside from a certified marriage counselor, a psychiatrist or somebody who’s been happily married for fifty years that is.
Anyway… relationships. ‘Relationships’. Relationships. Relationships.
The ‘key’ to a successful relationship is to have plenty of things in common.
Blame and I are both techno-junkies. We both love cheesy, old-fashioned horror and science fiction movies. We like eating the same types of food and listen to the same CDs. We’re both smart asses. We share a common love of pissing off my older sister, Hiro. We’re both guys.
That’s ‘plenty of things’, isn’t it?
Then why do things have to be so fucking hard?
I guess it all comes down to Hiro in the end. Hiro and her relationship with Blame.
Don’t worry! It’s not that kind of relationship. God no. Hiro would rather stick her hand into a vat of acid then hold Blame’s, and the feeling is definitely mutual on his behalf.
And therein lies the problem.
“HyperSpeed? This is Blue Neon, are you still with the target?” Hiro held her long collar close to her masked face as she spoke into the mouth piece.
I’d designed the communications system so that the messages the team passed between each other were relatively open. An enemy wouldn’t be able to pick up on any of the information that Blue Neon and HyperSpeed were passing to each other as they played cat and mouse with the robot that was rampaging through the city streets below, but I could hear every word that the superheroes were saying with perfect clarity.
I heaved an irritated sigh as I leaned over the edge of the roof top to observe the action beneath me. It really was too unfair! Who made the nifty super hero gadgets? Who did most of the research? Who made all of the repairs on the Black Comet Jet? The correct answer for all of these questions would be me, Mamoru Spencer, boy genius. And yet, the only way I could ever get myself involved in any of the team’s missions was to observe from a distant or sneak along when Hiro’s back was turned.
Didn’t my overbearing, overprotective, over the top sister ever watch any cartoons? If she did she’d know that it’s always the plucky younger sibling who saves the day when things get really really rough. That is, when there’s not a cute animal mascot to do it instead.
“ScccREEEAAAAAACH!!” I winced as the robot spun around a corner in the alley way, its clawed fingers shredding across a piece of corrugated iron that had had the misfortune to be lying in the mechanical monster’s path of destruction. The robot was fast, but not fast enough to evade Kevin who was easily keeping pace behind it. And Kevin wasn’t even going at full speed. If he had been I wouldn’t have been able to see him as anything more than a green blur.
His voice crackled in through my headset. “Blue? I’m herding him your way. Be ready in 5…4….3….2….”
Just as the robot approached the next bend in the ally Hiro leapt out in front of it and thrust her left arm forward as if she was about to give the machine a solid punch to the chest. Instead, a vibrant bolt of electric azure sprung from her gloved finger tips. The robot froze for a moment, haloed in the preternatural electricity’s light. It fell over backwards and spasmed twice before collapsing onto the concrete, now nothing more than a heap of useless blackened metal.
Technophile that I am, I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed by the machine’s demise. Still, a victory was a victory and blood was thicker than motor oil.
“Well done, sis,” I murmured quietly to myself.
“Mamoru?!” I cringed as Hiro’s startled shriek tore its way through my sensitive ears.
Shit. I had forgotten to turn my mike off. Again.
Hiro and Kevin soon joined me at my observation point, the latter looking on with sympathy and amusement as my beloved sister tore me a new one.
“I can’t believe you followed us you, little sneak!” The saying ‘if looks could kill’ wasn’t really applicable to Hiro. When one has laser vision it’s easy to turn a harmless stare into a murder weapon. While I know that Hiro would never intentionally try to hurt me (aside from our usual sibling roughhousing), I still always feel a little anxious when she glares at me.
Not that I’d ever let her know that. “I wouldn’t have to be a sneak if you let me join the team!” I hissed back, as I yanked my sleeve out of her death grip.
It was an old argument but one that had yet to be closed with what I believed to be the proper solution.
“No, Mamoru,” Hiro said, “You don’t have super powers. It’d too dangerous for you.”
“Actually,” Kevin butted in, “Considering who our enemy was, Mamo probably would have been the safest one down there.”
Hiro now turned her death glare onto this new target. She didn’t say anything though, just angrily mimed a zipping motion across her clenched lips.
I rolled my eyes. “Quit it with the secret service act sis. I’m a genius, remember? And even if I wasn’t, I’d still know right away that Blame’s gotta be behind this mess. He’s the only one who’d have the skill to make something like that,” I pointed over the railing to the charred, scrap heap below.
Hiro averted her eyes and tried to look like she wasn’t pouting.
Kevin just laughed, “Your honey’s really pulled it off this time, Mamo! A couple of his mechanical goons swiped some really top secret government research from the base this afternoon.”
“What was it?” I asked.
“Don’t know,” Kevin shrugged, “Turns out Hiro and I ended up going after the wrong bot. One of the other’s must have escaped with the disk.”
“I guess we’ll just have to chase it up tomorrow then.” I patted him on the shoulder.
“What do you mean ‘we’?” Hiro raged. “You’re not coming Mamoru!”
Some people like liked to read tabloid celebrity gossip, some people liked to read about the stock market.
I liked reading about classified experiments. Sometimes I’d print out the blue prints and make my own little adjustments. I’d turn it into a game where I tried to see if I could finish first. It goes without saying that I usually didn’t have permission to access these documents, and that’s where being a computer genius really came in handy. I hacked into government computers at least once every month or so and I hadn’t been caught yet.
I also downloaded music illegally; in your face SONY!
But anyway, my computer usage wasn’t for play. I had serious work to do.
Normally, in a situation like this the government would have given us some basic information about what type of data had been stolen. That way, if it was a dangerous weapon or the like we’d know how to handle ourselves properly.
And yes, I’d used the words ‘we’ and ‘us’, because no matter how much Hiro tried to deny it I was a part of the team, even if it was unofficial for the time being.
Anyway, the lack of proper information was a little worrying, so before we went chasing after Blame, I thought it best to find out exactly what it was that he’d stolen.
Ah…there we go! I grinned with satisfaction as I got past the final firewall. Then as the text loaded onto the monitor, my lips slackened as what had once been a pleased smile melted into a grimace.
I forced myself to calm down. I took a few deep breaths. Then I gingerly stood up and poked my head out through my bedroom doorway. It was past 3am. Everyone else had already gone to bed. Quietly as possible I gathered some essentials together and stole out of the apartment on tip toe. I was off to confront Blame, Blue Neon’s arch nemesis.
And my boyfriend of two and a half months.
When I had watched Kevin and Hiro playing cat and mouse with that robot in the afternoon, I had almost felt sorry for the machine. It’s hard, no it’s impossible, to maintain that sort of sympathy though, when you’re the one being chased.
Why, oh, why, hadn’t I thought to call Blame before sneaking into his compound?
No, don’t answer that question. I already feel stupid enough as it is.
I had barely stepped a foot into the narrow catacombs that lead into Blame’s hideout before I had five clunking, beeping robots on my tail. Luckily, Blame didn’t have his newer, sleeker models on guard duty, otherwise I’d be dead already. As things were now, I probably had a few extra seconds in which to live.
A giant metallic hand snagged the back of my t-shirt and slung me down onto the floor of the corridor. I rolled onto my back and stared, dumb struck at the machine that had floored me. The robot extended its left hand towards me in a reflection of Hiro’s actions earlier that day. A metallic panel in its palm shifted to one side, revealing a laser in the middle of the robot’s hand. No, not a laser. It was some kind of nozzle, like the type you’d use in a sprinkler system; it turned on, spraying my face with a liquid that reeked of chemicals.
‘I guess it’s too much to hope that that’s just water,’ I thought to myself, right before my consciousness blurred then faded away completely.
I was relieved when I woke up. That is until I realized that I was tied to a chair, I had a throbbing headache and that the knock out spray I’d inhaled had left me with a stuffed nose and a sore throat.
Then someone started rubbing my shoulders, and I couldn’t help letting out a pleased sigh.
“You really shouldn’t scowl like that,” Blame murmured into my ear, “You’ll give yourself wrinkles.”
I smirked. “So you only love me for my youthful good looks then? Pedo.”
Blame snorted, “I’m not even three years older than you. How does that make me a pedophile?”
“I dunno. You’re the sicko who likes high school boys. Why don’t you tell me?”
Blame slid his hands off of my shoulders and moved around to stand in front of me.
As usual, he was dressed like a reject from some 80’s sci-fi, cyber-punk cult classic. His outfit was a tasteful mix of black, red and grey but featured more straps and buckles than a straight jacket. I was surprised to see that, as late as it was, his hair was already styled and gelled in its customary, ‘controlled chaos’ fashion. Maybe he slept with it like that?
“You bastard!” I yelled. “Did you have me knocked out just so that you could have enough time to get ready?”
“I’m sorry,” Blame said, despite not looking at all apologetic. “Is it a crime to want to look one’s best in front of their lover?”
“It is if ‘looking one’s best’ involves assaulting and abducting them!” I came from the same gene pool that enabled Hiro to shriek like a banshee for hours on end. I could have screamed at Blame all night if it was necessary.
“I sadly admit to the first charge but stick by my innocence in the second,” Blame drawled. “You’re the one who came barging in here in the middle of the night so you’re the one in the wrong.”
That’s right. I was the one who’d gone to visit Blame. And I had a serious reason for doing so. There were things to be discussed and decisions to be made.
“You’re trying to kill Hiro.” I couldn’t look Blame in the eyes as I spoke.
Leather clad fingers reached out to push my hair back out of my eyes. Blame leaned in close to me and smiled. A small, crooked, half smile.
“What did you expect Mamoru? She’s a super hero, I’m a super villain. My relationship with you doesn’t change that.”
“Yeah. But you’re not supposed to have an actual chance of succeeding.”
“Ah. I take it you found out the true nature of that little government research project,” Blame said. “Hiro’s getting too strong and the bureaucratic powers-that-be are getting worried. Can you blame them for taking precautionary measures against her? The device won’t kill her; it’ll just strip her of her powers.”
“But then…you’ll kill her.” I really wished that he’d stop playing with my hair like that. It felt too pleasant. Too tender.
I got the impression sometimes that Hiro believed that I only dated Blame because it pissed her off. Not true. Pissing her off was a mere bonus. I really did love Blame.
But despite our fights, despite the fact that we could never agree on anything, despite Hiro not being a technophile, or a fan of sci-fi movies, or a guy, she was my sister. And I loved her. Much much more than I loved Blame.
So I told him.
The hands in my hair stilled. Blame’s eyes which seemed to always reflect his anger/playfulness/arrogance/lust went blank. For all the expression he was showing he might as well have been a robot himself. It scared me. I thought he was going to lose it. That maybe, for all of the declarations of love that he’d heaped on me during our short time together, he would kill me over this.
Instead, he crushed his mouth over mine, his hot wet tongue finding a familiar pathway between my lips and past my teeth. Just as quickly as the kiss had started it was over. His attention then shifted towards my torso, pushing my t-shirt up under my armpits so that he could get at my vulnerable belly. His teeth scraped and tickled against my stomach. He leaned upwards to dart his tongue across one nipple, so quickly that I almost didn’t register the movement.
His hands had been resting on my thighs before, but now they moved inwards along my legs, reaching for the fly of my jeans, which he unzipped with practiced ease. He grabbed the top of my jeans and started to pull them downwards along with my boxers. Even in my muddled state of mind, I instinctively lifted my pelvis so that he could tug them down over my hips, until the clothing was bunched around my knees.
Task completed Blame paused for a moment, leaning over my lap so that his cheek was pressed against my lower thigh. My boyfriend was usually a good deal taller than me, so it was a little surreal to have him gazing up at me, especially when he had such a pitiful, borderline kicked-puppy dog look in his eyes.
But then, everything was feeling pretty surreal at the moment. It was almost morning and I’d yet to have any genuine sleep, I was still recovering from whatever Blame’s robots had sprayed me with, my boyfriend was trying to kill my sister (for real!) and now…
Blame wriggled his upper body even further across my lap and buried his face into my crotch.
I like to think that I have a so-so level of sexual stamina most of the time. Unfortunately, Blame’s assault caught me so utterly unprepared, that even that minimal level of endurance ceased to function. Keeping this in mind, I don’t think I could be held responsible for what happened; if Blame had wanted to drag the experience out longer he should have paced things better!
Blame still threw me a dirty look as he dragged the back of his hand over his mouth, wiping both saliva and semen away. “You’re such a brat Mamoru. Don’t you have any self-control at all?”
“Shut up! Who asked you for a blow job, you stupid prick?”
He smirked at me. “Going by what happened just now, I don’t think you have any right to comment about whose prick is stupid.”
His smile fading away, Blame once again draped his lanky form over my lap, this time resting his face against my stomach. “If I killed that bitch Blue Neon. You’d hate me then?”
I didn’t want to but…”Yes. Yes, I would.”
Blame let out a tortured sigh.
“Well…we can’t have that.”
“And this is the kitchen. If you make a mess, you clean it up… and don’t eat anything that has someone else’s name written on it.” Mia instructed, finishing up her brief tour of the apartment. “Any questions?”
Blame glared at her. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got everything. No loud music after 10pm, no pets, no terrorizing the neighbors, you break it you bought it, et cetera.”
From his position leaning up against the fridge, Kevin commented, “This isn’t going to be an easy transition, is it?”
“You doubting my intentions here; ‘Speedo’?”
Kevin attempted a disarming smile. “No. I’m thrilled that Mamo has managed to persuade you to reform your dastardly ways and come over to the ‘light side’. But you seem to enjoy playing the badass so much, it’ll probably take a while for you to adjust.”
Blame just sneered at him. “Idiot.”
But when Mia and Kevin left the apartment to go grocery shopping, Blame admitted that ‘Speedo’ was probably right. “The whole thing just feels kinda off. I don’t think I’m cut out for this.” He sighed. “Give it time and you won’t want to sleep with me anymore either, now that I’m no longer a sexy super villain.”
I leaned up and attempted to run my fingers through his gel clogged hair. Putting my lips up right against his ear, I whispered, “You know, being a good guy doesn’t mean that you can’t be bad .”
My boyfriend just stared at me with a bemused look on his face.
Really folks, he’s usually much more intelligent then this.
Settling for action over words I grabbed him by the arm and started leading him away from the kitchen area, towards the corridor leading off to the bedrooms. “There’s still one place in the house you haven’t been, yet,” I purred suggestively.
“Heh.” I couldn’t see Blame’s expression as I dragged his taller form along behind me, but I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was smirking. “I like the way your mind works, but you’re wrong, I already saw your room during the tour.”
I grinned at him from over my shoulder, “Whoever said anything about my room?” I stopped outside the doorway, standing clear so that Blame could see the electric blue name plate hanging from the doorknob.
Blame licked my cheek affectionately, “Let me correct myself: I love the way your mind works.”
Already half-entwined with each other we pushed the door open and fumbled our way into the room.
“Mamoru! Mamoru! Where are you? Is what Mia and Kevin saying about him true?
Oh my God! What the fuck are you two doing? ON MY BED!”