![](\"https:\/\/shousetsubangbang.com\/2018-07\/07-2018%20header.png\")
<\/p>\nwritten and illustrated by Iron Eater<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Warren lay sprawled on Brad\u2019s couch, sipping a chilled bottle of no-name cola and loathing the Tucson heat with every fiber of his being. He liked visiting Brad, he really did, but the thing that so far had tried their relationship far beyond the distance between them was just how damned hot it got in Arizona in every season but winter. Warren hoped that once they made it through their current discussion the weather would still be the only thing to worry about.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what am I bracing myself for, now that you\u2019ve assured me twice in the past five minutes that this isn\u2019t a we-need-to-talk kind of talk?\u201d asked Brad, who himself was seated in a patio chair he\u2019d converted into a sort of combination succulent planter and throne. He was having plain water as usual. Brad was not unlike his pet plants at times.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re bracing yourself for me to say what will sound like the stupidest thing in the world,\u201d said Warren.<\/p>\n
Brad wrinkled his nose. \u201cYou\u2019re not going to suggest we get married, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGod<\/i> no. If I ever did it wouldn\u2019t be while we\u2019re both in the middle of two different grad programs.\u201d Warren took another swig of cola and placed the bottle against his cheek. It was sweaty and so was he. \u201cThe stupidest thing in the world is that for the past few months, a little after the last time I left, I\u2019ve been dealing with a were-vagina.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA were what <\/i>now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLike I said, stupidest thing in the world,\u201d said Warren. He shifted his weight to better be blasted by the large box fan Brad kept on hand for when he visited. \u201cFor the three days around the full moon, my dick is just gone<\/i>, and I\u2019ve got some other bits instead. It just happened out of the blue. I don\u2019t remember terrorizing any little old ladies or getting bitten by wild animals or whatever. Just, boom. Here it is. Now I get to deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWarren, darling,\u201d said Brad in his calmest voice. \u201cAre you doing the thing where you lead into something difficult with something hyperbolic so the actual thing you want to talk about doesn\u2019t seem so bad in comparison? Because this is a pretty weird way to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren took another pull from his cola. \u201cI knew you\u2019d call bullshit,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s why once this kept happening I figured it\u2019d be easiest just to show you. First night of the full moon\u2019s tonight. Last night you saw me naked before jet lag got the better of me and I succumbed to the Odinsleep. Here\u2019s what I woke up with.\u201d He hooked a thumb in the band of his shorts and pulled them down lewdly.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t much to say, really: Warren, who normally had a penis of unremarkable character serving as his genitals, instead had a full vulval array, itself bearing a clit of unremarkable character. He spread himself demonstrably. It still felt a little weird to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh,\u201d said Brad. \u201cYou ever been awake when it switches over?\u201d That he was reacting with curiosity instead of disgust was a source of no small relief to Warren, who\u2019d known more than a few friends who\u2019d shared shitty opinions with him regarding boyfriends who weren\u2019t factory standard. He\u2019d taken that as a sign to get new friends.<\/p>\n
Warren shrugged. \u201cYeah, but I\u2019ve never noticed until after the fact. I just stand up, get something from the kitchen or whatever, then sit down again and realize things feel different. Usually I only notice after waking up in the morning, though.\u201d<\/p>\n
Brad leaned forward, his forearms on his knees. \u201cSo what all can it do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo idea,\u201d said Warren. \u201cI mean, I had to browse enough tween-focused resources just to figure out how to jack off with this thing that I think I\u2019m on some kind of creepy list. I don\u2019t know how deep it goes. I don\u2019t think I want to find out, either, since experimentation has proven I don\u2019t like putting things in it, and that doing so is, in fact, a very bad idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you can<\/i> jack off with it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just push a bullet vibe up against my clit and that generally takes care of things.\u201d He finished his cola and put the empty bottle on the side table. \u201cYou\u2019re taking this pretty well.\u201d<\/p>\n
This got a laugh out of Brad. \u201cWhy not<\/i> take it well? Here I thought this was going to be a normal visit. Never thought you\u2019d be able to get that much magical realism through an airport checkpoint. You said it only lasts three days and you\u2019re still in town for over a week, so I don\u2019t see why I should be too worked up about not getting access to your cock for some of that. We can wait out this were-vagina of yours and just do other things together until then.\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren released the elastic of his shorts and slumped with relief. He hadn\u2019t realized how much he\u2019d been tensed up over this. \u201cI feel like an ogre for saying this,\u201d he said, \u201cbut I had managed to convince myself you\u2019d go on some gross tangent about a \u2018bonus hole\u2019 or something and it\u2019d go nowhere good. No offense, babe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople actually say that? Huh.\u201d Brad scratched the top of his smooth-shaven head. \u201cI mean, I\u2019m not into it, you could get your clit right up in my face and I\u2019d just sort of sit there, but I\u2019m still into you. We can always buy a strap-on and have you peg me with it in the interim or something. You feeling more at touch with your feminine side since this started?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBrad, I\u2019ve just got a case of were-vagina, femininity has nothing to do with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPoint.\u201d<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t necessarily the worst question to ask in the grand scheme of things, but save from having to learn a whole new way of taking a piss Warren hadn\u2019t felt like he\u2019d changed as a person because of his condition. He still felt very much like a man, and a pretty gay man at that. He\u2019d had a pretty good time of getting sucked off after getting in from the airport the other day and hadn\u2019t felt anything amiss. Still, it had seemed appropriate at the time to sit down for a bit and evaluate the gender thing, and so Warren had, and found it the same as always.<\/p>\n
During the vast majority of the month when he actually had a dick and balls they felt like they were the correct anatomy for their location, and during the full moon his vagina felt pretty normal, too, as mildly annoyed as he was for it to be there. Tracking the lunar cycle to better schedule visits wasn\u2019t that much more effort in the long run. Besides, Warren had told himself after the second time his genitalia had retopographied, it wasn\u2019t like he had to deal with cramps or headaches or any of the myriad woes his sisters had to deal with. He didn\u2019t feel wrong<\/i>, just weird and different.<\/p>\n
If this was the way life was going to be for him, well, so long as Brad didn\u2019t mind then Warren didn\u2019t have much reason to mind, either.<\/p>\n
After a little more swapping of trivia, Brad lost interest in Warren\u2019s crotch and the conversation drifted towards how their respective degrees were going, and that was the end of that for a while.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
They made good on their plans to go out camping once the heat of the day passed, which meant that when night fell and the moon rose they were in a proper place to actually howl at it. Nobody needed<\/i> a full moon to change these days, similar to how nobody needed<\/i> to apply weird ointments or piss in a circle around their clothes or make belts from questionable materials, but Warren always felt most at ease changing under the stars. It was how he and Brad had first met, too, so there was sentimental value to loping beneath the night sky wearing nothing but their own fur.<\/p>\n
Much to Warren\u2019s chagrin, the damned were-vagina tagged along even as the rest of him shaped itself into something primal and powerful.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt makes sense,\u201d said Brad as they fed on a mule deer they\u2019d hunted themselves. \u201cI mean, it\u2019s not like you\u2019re less of a wolf because your dick\u2019s elsewhere. Magical realism or not, your vag is natural, so it changed with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren licked some deer blood off his claws. \u201cI was hoping I could catch a break,\u201d he grumbled. \u201cI hadn\u2019t tried turning while I had it before, so I was holding out for the chance that maybe I could reset things. I really wanted to mount you under the stars like back when we were both at Austin Peay.\u201d The woods of Tennessee had been much better for Warren\u2019s disposition than any part of Arizona, which was a major reason why he\u2019d stayed in the southeast even as Brad\u2019s seismology studies lured him elsewhere. The mid-south had some fantastic forests to run around in no matter how much fur you wore at the time.<\/p>\n
Brad scoffed. \u201cLike I said, we can buy you a strap-on for that. I know a guy. Until then we\u2019ll just wait until the moon\u2019s waning gibbous before you stick it in.\u201d He cracked a bone between his teeth and gnawed at the exposed marrow. \u201cIf you\u2019re horny you can always see if your neck\u2019s long enough to take care of yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor God\u2019s sake, Brad,\u201d said Warren with a laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just saying<\/i>. The first time I changed I was terrified. The second time I spent it all in my room because I figured out I could reach.\u201d He curled up to demonstrate that he could, in fact, still do so. Warren once again longed for the status quo. \u201cYour mileage may vary, but I\u2019ve found sometimes the best mouth for the job is my own.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLess talking, more eating,\u201d said Warren. \u201cI smell normie wolves around here and I do not have the wherewithal to deal with them today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean were<\/i>-withal, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren flipped him the bird and did his best to concentrate on rooting for viscera instead.<\/p>\n
The deer didn\u2019t last long between them; they were both big men and it\u2019d been a while since their last hunt. Exams had been a nightmare that semester. Brad cleaned his muzzle and cocked his head towards the ridge where their tent lay.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on, you mopey sack of a scientist,\u201d he said. \u201cLet\u2019s run around like idiots a little more and then get back to the tent so we can do something about your sulking. I know you packed some toys.\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren made a noncommittal noise. \u201cIt\u2019s kind of hard to get excited when I know you\u2019re not that interested in fucking me like this,\u201d he said. He had enough time to step away from their meal before Brad tackled him, play-snarling.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are being such a weenus<\/i> about this, my dear,\u201d he said through his bared fangs. The snarling and tackling was normal, especially when he wanted to goat Warren into turning the tables and topping him something fierce, but Brad only ever broke out my dear<\/i> when he was tired of Warren\u2019s shit. \u201cI still want to help you get off, I\u2019m just not interested in going down on you or sticking my dick in there or whatever. Didn\u2019t you say the latter sucked for you, anyway? Come on<\/i>.\u201d He stepped off of Warren and pranced in place. \u201cQuit worrying about your junk for fifteen minutes and let\u2019s run<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n
Run they did. The swiftness of a wolf and tireless heart of a human meant amalgamations of the two made for a regular marathon champion. Brad and Warren loped through the brush with abandon; sometimes they went on two legs and sometimes four, and either way they left a trail sure to confuse the next naturalist who came through. They ran until Warren felt the knot of tension in his guts completely ease up for the first time in weeks. A quick dip in a pond that hadn\u2019t completely succumbed to Tucson\u2019s summertime swelter left him feeling like a new man.<\/p>\n
Upon returning to their campsite they flopped against each other in their tent, neither bothering to change back yet. So long as someone remembered to have thumbs at all times they tended to take it easy during their camping trips. In this case, taking it easy meant not bothering to look human until either they bedded down for the night or the sun started coming up. It hadn\u2019t been that long since they\u2019d managed an all-nighter. Warren idly wondered if it would be worth planning their next visit around doing exactly that.<\/p>\n
Brad nosed Warren and nipped at his ears affectionately. \u201cFeeling better yet?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStill horny?\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren thought about it. \u201cYeah, I think so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat. Which pocket did you put your goodies in? I\u2019ll help get you set up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Some discussion resulted in them settling on the plain, drugstore-beige vibrator that Warren had bought for himself ages ago and never done anything with. Warren lay in the unfamiliar position of on his back with his legs spread while Brad checked the batteries. The vibe looked like a sci-fi banana by way of 1973. Warren cringed. He knew academically that people of various genders used these things all the time and thought they were very nice, but he had yet to be convinced it would be worth the trouble. Did they even work that well if you used them externally? He supposed he was about to find out.<\/p>\n
Brad twisted the base of the vibe and it whirred to life. It was comically small in his hand but he held it deftly all the same. He ran the juddering tip along Warren\u2019s outer lips.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo penetration, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren nodded. He had no desire to repeat what had happened during earlier experiments, which had been agony<\/i> despite only using a well-lubed pinky finger.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat. I\u2019m going to see how to make you come with this so you can stop with the train of thought I know<\/i> you\u2019re thinking where you\u2019re freaking out about your super-gay boyfriend leaving you because of the vag thing.\u201d He angled the vibrator against Warren\u2019s clit, making him gasp. \u201cTell me if something sucks. Otherwise I\u2019ll take care of everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
For a man whose primary experience with a vagina involved coming out of one, Brad was surprisingly good at figuring out what to do with Warren. He didn\u2019t just mash the vibe in one spot and leave it; instead Brad moved things around, teasing at an inner lip or along Warren\u2019s inner thigh before roaming back to more sensitive tissue. Once Warren was good and wound up Brad lay the vibrator against the front of his vulva with the tip once more against Warren\u2019s clit. He then pressed Warren\u2019s legs together, trusting the leg muscles that could spring with pickup-smashing force to keep the little toy in place. It was a lot more effective than Warren\u2019s previous approaches of just shoving a bullet vibe or two into his briefs and hoping for the best.<\/p>\n
When Warren started growling the way he did when he was close and changed, Brad leaned in to offer the back of his neck in a very thoughtful gesture. Warren always did have respect for the classics.<\/p>\n
Coming worked very much like it always had for him, in that he had a sort of full-body sneeze focused on feeling very good in and around the bathing suit area, but he didn\u2019t make so much as a drop of come in the process, which was not the sort of convenient cleanup he was used to. He carefully released his hold on Brad\u2019s neck.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat worked out all right, I guess,\u201d he said once he caught his breath.<\/p>\n
Brad grinned. \u201cFeeling like more of an alpha wolf now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat whole model\u2019s based on shitty science and you know<\/i> it,\u201d Warren grumbled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do I know about animals?\u201d asked Brad, still grinning. \u201cYou know us seismologists: we only care if we feel the earth move.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUgh. The instant we get back, we\u2019re talking to that guy you know so I can have the satisfaction of shutting you up with some<\/i> sort of dick in your pun-spewing gob.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou could always go for the autocunnilingus route if you\u2019re still feeling orally fixated. I mean, you can probably<\/i> reach, and if your tackle box there works the way they said in health class you\u2019re not going to have much of a cooldown at all. Think about it. Now if you\u2019ll excuse me, I just got chomped the fuck out by my werewolf boyfriend and it gave me a boner, so I have some jerking off of my own to do….\u201d<\/p>\n
In the end it turned out that provided he had a pillow to brace against Warren could reach himself, too. He went to bed only slightly conflicted.<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
The morning sun brought with it morning heat and Warren grimaced at the pointed lack of air conditioning that greeted him upon awakening. He performed a cursory check of his anatomy\u2014the were-vagina, which was a terrible term for it but so accurate he could scarcely think of something better, was still there\u2014before getting dressed enough to go start some campfire coffee.<\/p>\n
Brad dragged himself out of the tent once the smell of the coffee started wafting through their camp. He was wearing a pair of pajama pants that had been swapped between them so many times nobody remembered who their original owner was; whoever paid to travel to see the other one got to take them home as a memento. Warren handed him a mug of steaming black brew.<\/p>\n
\u201cMorning, Brad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMornin\u2019. The were-vag still where it was?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt least it\u2019s predictable. Before you ask, I didn\u2019t wake up with one of my own.\u201d Brad took a long pull of his paving-tar-consistency coffee. \u201cSo we\u2019ve got what, two more nights and then your cock\u2019s back? I can live with that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren poked at the skillet full of breakfast scramble he was cooking. \u201cI said it before and I\u2019ll say it again, Brad. You\u2019re taking this weirdly<\/i> well.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEh,\u201d said Brad. \u201cWe turn into monsters and roam the countryside for funsies, and<\/i> we\u2019re both decently well-off queers who insist on pursuing weird-ass fields of study instead of something more reasonable like server administration. One more wacky detail is just a drop in the bucket.\u201d He held out his now empty mug, which Warren refilled. \u201cAnd once we talk to that guy I know things will be more or less back to normal.\u201d<\/p>\n
A thought crossed Warren\u2019s mind. \u201cThis guy you know, does he make harnesses for humans or for, you know…?\u201d<\/p>\n
Brad smiled around his coffee cup. \u201cBoth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I take it you know another<\/i> guy, possibly the same guy as the first one, who makes toys for both sizes, too?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
Warren thought about this further. Some cursory investigation had introduced him to the concept of the kind of vibe that you strapped in place, and pairing that with a hot-swappable dong in various exciting shapes and colors sounded like a combination worth exploring. Maybe this wouldn\u2019t be so inconvenient after all. \u201cNeat.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExtremely,\u201d said Brad. \u201cYou want to pass me some of those eggs? I\u2019ve been having venison burps since I woke up and hot people food\u2019s the only sure-fire cure.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds fake to me,\u201d said Warren even as he scooped some not-quite-omelette into a bowl. Everything had gone without a hitch, more or less, and so long as he kept himself kitted out in batteries he\u2019d be able to handle the more whimsical parts of his life. He could live with that. All he needed to get to the end of this lunar cycle was the werewithal to do so.<\/p>\n
Where<\/i>withal.<\/p>\n
God damn<\/i> it. Brad had a lot to answer for.<\/p>\n
![](\"https:\/\/shousetsubangbang.com\/2018-07\/07-2018%20illo.png\")
<\/p>\n