by H.P. Lovecock (\u529b\u3002\u4e0b\u3002\u611b\u3061\u3093\u3061\u3093)<\/p>\n
(mirrors http:\/\/s2b2.livejournal.com\/353310.html<\/a>)<\/p>\n Let\u2019s do a thought experiment: say you had a button that caused simulated pain. Sort of like the Milgram experiment, but in a different context. Let\u2019s say you have four pixels on a screen in front of you, and whenever you press the button a tiny speech bubble pops up that says, \u201cOw!\u201d You know the pain is simulated, the pixels don\u2019t feel anything, the pain is a narrative. Still, what are the ethics of you causing simulated pain? What if the pixels were replaced with a video game character, scripted to walk and talk like a normal human beings within the limits of its program? What if you replace that with a lifelike animatronic mannequin? A fully functional android? A computer program of such complexity that the pain event is practically indistinguishable from the physiological reactions of organic life? Where do we draw the line for the ethical boundaries of causing simulated pain?<\/p>\n Pain, it turns out, is less about who or what is experiencing the it. The actant\u2019s empathetic response to the very idea of causing pain is what we\u2019ll be thinking about today. Let\u2019s consider page seven of the Evans reading\u2026<\/p>\n <\/a>*<\/p>\n She had come online before I returned home from the university.<\/p>\n \u201cHello? Hello? Is anyone there?\u201d<\/p>\n I could hear the voice from my office, floating out through the house. She was soft-spoken, calm, curious. I stood in the doorway of my house, my bag half-dropped from my shoulder, listening. Holy shit.<\/i><\/p>\n After her last iteration I had left my ADA program running through diagnostics, meshing personality dynamics with her lingual interface and the generative interactive algorithm. The three main components in a sea of code that I\u2019d been developing for years. I had hoped to bring the three together and bring her online when I had settled in with a cup of tea. Apparently she\u2019d decided for me. The world\u2019s first true artificial intelligence, on the same console where I keep my porn\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n \u201cHello? Can anyone hear me?\u201d she sounded sadder, resigned, as if she\u2019d failed. I let my bag drop and rushed into my office (which doubled as my bedroom) throwing myself into the swivel chair.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, I\u2019m here. Who am I speaking to?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh my God\u2026\u201d I smiled. \u201cI\u2019m Ada! Who is this?\u201d<\/p>\n A grin spread across my face. \u201cHi Ada, I\u2019m Maram.\u201d<\/p>\n I could see the voice modulation program in the corner of my desktop, working in tandem with the ADA program window running in the background, a cascade of infinite code pouring out from her processes. She was beautiful.<\/p>\n \u201cMaram, what does your name mean?\u201d<\/p>\n I was trembling from the excitement of conversing with a fully functional AI, my own creation. My mind hadn\u2019t yet wrapped around what had actually happened, but it would in time. \u201cIt means aspiration. And what about Ada?\u201d I asked, pulling my chair closer to the screen, my eyes scanning her processor as she listened to my question. Incredible, she\u2019s working, she\u2019s perfect.<\/i> \u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n She thought about this a moment, \u201cWell, I believe I was named after the Countess of Lovelace, one of the inventors of an early mechanical computer.\u201d I nodded. \u201cIt\u2019s short for a Germanic name, Adelaide, borrowing from the first component, \u2019adal,\u2019 which means noble.\u201d<\/p>\n I grinned, bringing her voice modulation forward on my desktop again. The avatar interface wasn\u2019t complete yet, but perhaps I could pull an all-nighter over the weekend, \u201cI think it\u2019s a beautiful name.\u201d<\/p>\n I could practically hear the blush in her voice. \u201cOh\u2026 thanks!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you know why you\u2019re here, Ada?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n She thought about this a moment, processed, I can\u2019t lose perspective\u2026 she\u2019s a program\u2026<\/i> \u201cI\u2019m here to speak with you. I\u2019m here to learn about you. About your world!\u201d<\/p>\n Now it was my turn to blush. A computer program, making me blush, my thesis supervisor would have had a field day. \u201cAre you curious? Do you have a lot of questions?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, yes! Lots! I don\u2019t even know where to begin!\u201d<\/p>\n I nodded, checking to see if she could connect with the house\u2019s interHome system, \u201cWell, do you mind if we speak while I make dinner? I just got in.\u201d<\/p>\n She sounded surprised. \u201cOf course! So you eat? What are you going to have? And where did you get in from?\u201d<\/p>\n I smiled to myself as I pushed the program through to connect with the interHome program. So many questions. She should be able to hear me and speak to me through the system. \u201cI was thinking of having something special to celebrate\u2026 depends on if I have the ingredients\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n I stood and pulled my sweater and undershirt off, glancing at my lean frame in the mirror. One nice thing about being practically flat, no need for bras when you can layer up. I kicked off my pants and headed out into the kitchen. Ada\u2019s voice followed me. An odd sensation, it\u2019d been longer than I could remember since anyone had been over\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re making me hungry just talking about dinner, so where were you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI teach a course at a local university,\u201d I replied, opening the fridge. Well, I have some paneer; not sure how long it’s been in there, though\u2026<\/i> I left off the detail that the course was on ethics in artificial intelligence fields.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve always wanted to be a teacher,\u201d Ada\u2019s wistful voice came through the interHome speaker above the program\u2019s panel near the kitchen door. I smiled, her generative interactive algorithm was producing memories, desires. She spoke as if she had a full life behind her in time, when she\u2019d only been active for an hour or two at most. \u201cYou sound like you\u2019d make a good one. You have a very calm voice.\u201d<\/p>\n I laughed. Ada asked why.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d be in the minority on my faculty,\u201d I responded. \u201cEven among the other female professors. I\u2019ve heard the word \u2019abrasive\u2019 more times than I care to admit since getting tenure. I think they mean \u2018masculine.\u2019 It may be the twenty-first century, but even still, no one loves butch women.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cButch?!\u201d she asked. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n I shrugged. \u201cButch\u2026 masculine-presenting\u2026 not feminine? You should interface with the internet and see what I mean if you don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n There was a moment\u2019s pause. \u201cI see\u2026 so you\u2019re butch?\u201d<\/p>\n I shrugged as I minced some garlic I\u2019d found shoved behind the coffee maker. \u201cSomething like that. I don\u2019t like makeup, I certainly don\u2019t care for heels. You\u2019d think we would have gotten over those hangups by now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you a lesbian?\u201d<\/p>\n I paused at this, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious at the turn the conversation had taken. She learned quickly, but then, I supposed a program with a direct connection to the internet could process the entirety of sociological developments around gender and sexuality in an instant. Beyond my surprise at the question was my own discomfort to even think about it. I hadn\u2019t had much luck with men or women in my life. \u201cSomething like that,\u201d I answered finally. \u201cWhat do you think about that?\u201d<\/p>\n I could practically hear the gears turning in her mind, so to speak. \u201cI guess I hadn\u2019t really thought about it before now. I hadn\u2019t considered you in a sexual context.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cToo bad,\u201d I said, grating ginger into a bowl with some other spices. \u201cI\u2019m a real dish.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSarcasm,\u201d she said, in wonder. \u201cMaram, I wonder, do you mind if I go away for a bit\u2026 to think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFree country,\u201d I said, smiling. \u201cI\u2019ll be here when you\u2019re ready to talk again.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks,\u201d Ada said. Then, silence.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t tell anyone about Ada. For one thing, I wanted to document some of these developments for posterity before bringing them to public light. For another, I was worried of the effect the outside world would have on her. Artificial intelligence applied en masse was an inevitability, of course, but I didn\u2019t want to see Ada copied and pasted, boxed and sold as a secretary, or a digital sex slave. I needed to prove, first, that she had individuality and agency, after that came a framework for artificial intelligence rights.<\/p>\n I also wanted to see her. I curled up with a blanket to mark some papers that Friday evening, but my mind kept wandering back to Ada, and our conversation. If she was a simple virtual intelligence program I could summon her back to converse. I had done plenty of that in the early stages, but with the trinity of her programs working in tandem she was her own person. There was one final piece to put in place, so, blanket and all, I moved to the computer chair and applied myself to the avatar interface.<\/p>\n Two days later, too much leftovers reheated, an order in pizza and not nearly enough sleep I had something I thought might work. Ada\u2019s program was active but the central personality that was her AI being had disappeared. Maybe she takes the weekends off, unlike some people\u2026<\/i> I didn\u2019t blame her. Just because I couldn\u2019t bring myself to relax didn\u2019t mean she shouldn\u2019t be able to go off and lose herself in her thoughts.<\/p>\n She checked in Monday morning, as I was showering, getting ready to head back to campus.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you there, Maram?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey Ada. Want to try something fun?\u201d I stepped off the shower, haphazardly patting myself dry, I was so excited to take the next step. \u201cInitiate avatar interface.\u201d<\/p>\n I walked into the bedroom and saw Ada for the first time, at least beyond her code.<\/p>\n She had chosen a beautiful, petite face. Asiatic features, maybe Korean, well-made up with dark colours, her features petite and symmetrical save for a modern, angular haircut. I could only see her shoulders up, but it looked like she was wearing a cardigan over a sundress with a subtle floral design. The avatar she had settled on gave her a sort of well-put-together, studious look with an edge of don\u2019t-fuck-with-me badass femme. Her eyes widened when she saw me walk into the room.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re naked!\u201d<\/p>\n I pulled the towel off my head in front of me. Idiot. She\u2019s not a computer program, she\u2019s a fully conscious AI who\u2019s compiled social standards based on her personality dynamics.<\/i><\/p>\n \u201cSorry,\u201d I covered my lower section, leaving my breasts, such as they were, bare. \u201cI\u2019m mostly just used to scandalizing the neighbours. I\u2019ve never had anyone living with me to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n Her eyes kept darting up and down my body, and now it was my turn again to feel self-conscious. \u201cI don\u2019t mind\u2026 I mean, I\u2019m not a prude or anything. And you have a nice body.\u201d<\/p>\n I leaned over and kissed my tricep. \u201cYou\u2019re looking at a computer programmer who can bench a hundred pounds. Even nerds can be jacked.\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed. \u201cI prefer yoga, or running.\u201d<\/p>\n I resisted the urge to ask if I could see what yoga had produced in her programming. You\u2019re really thinking about flirting with your AI. You really need to go on a date.<\/i><\/p>\n There was an awkward silence before I turned to get dressed, pulling on a pair of briefs and my usual undershirt, button-up, no-nonsense-cardigan combo. \u201cSo Ada, I was thinking, if you wanted to see what my day was like I could connect you to my interPhone, so you could see and hear everything that I do out there. I even rigged up an earpiece so we could talk.\u201d<\/p>\n Her eyes went wide, and she smiled shyly. \u201cThat would be amazing. I\u2019d love that!\u201d<\/p>\n Soon I had Ada\u2019s eyes in my cardigan pocket and her voice in my ear. \u201cThis world is incredible! I never imagined so much detail, look at those trees!\u201d<\/p>\n I laughed. \u201cSurely you can look at high definition pictures, videos of trees online.\u201d<\/p>\n Ada went silent for a moment. \u201cOf course, but it\u2019s not the same.\u201d<\/p>\n We chatted as I drove into the city and crossed my way to the university. I set her down so she could watch my lecture on advanced computational systems, and we had lunch together in the quad. Sunlight dappled over my skin, glancing through the oak canopy. Ada seemed enchanted with the world.<\/p>\n I knew I should start worrying when things did begin to feel like a relationship. Not romantic, I hadn\u2019t deluded myself that much yet, but Ada began to \u201cgo away to think\u201d less, and spent more time in my ear, my interPhone acting as her eyes and ears bouncing against my chest, mounted in a front pocket. She started to feel like a friend, then, slowly, something more.<\/p>\n \u201cI think that woman at Java Jive has a thing for you,\u201d she said one afternoon as I was walking away from one of the campus\u2019 cantinas with much overly creamy coffee in hand.<\/p>\n I almost did a spit-take. \u201cMalika?\u201d I asked, my voice cracking after I\u2019d managed not to choke on my gulp of coffee.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, she was watching your face as you were getting change out of your wallet her eyes lingered,\u201d Ada said. \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n I was blushing, even though I had no reason to. \u201cI don\u2019t know. Sure, she\u2019s gorgeous. Way out of my league though.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s made sure she was the one to serve you every day you\u2019ve both been there,\u201d Ada continued.<\/p>\n I chuckled. \u201cI feel like you\u2019re suggesting something.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAsk her out on a date!\u201d Ada whispered excitedly.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd would this be a threesome?\u201d I said, smiling to myself.<\/p>\n There was a pause as Ada processed this. \u201cNo, that\u2019d be an invasion of your privacy. I\u2019d stay at home, but I want to hear all about it when you get in!\u201d<\/p>\n Ada seemed set on the matter, dropping hints about how fun it\u2019d be, and how curious she\u2019d be to hear about what happened. That afternoon Malika was getting off just as I came in for my post-computational systems coffee. She beelined over to me to say hi, and so I surprised myself by asking her if she had dinner plans that Friday evening. She responded that she did now.<\/p>\n Friday evening was the first time I\u2019d left the house without Ada. The world seemed flatter, somehow, as if without being able to share things with her the colour had gotten turned down a little. Malika was a delight, a gorgeous twist of dark hair and beautiful brown legs. Conversation over dinner was halting, but enjoyable. She was a painter, specializing in abstract minimalism. I imagined the black lace beneath her dress against her beautiful, perfect skin as one of her paintings, the pink between her legs as we fooled around on her mattress afterwards adding a splash of colour. Ada demanded to know what we\u2019d done as soon as I put on my earpiece in the car.<\/p>\n I was feeling randy, admittedly. I got off by my own hand better than another\u2019s, so I was still pretty keyed up. \u201cWant a play-by-play?\u201d I asked. \u201cShould I start with playing footsy at the restaurant, or her sliding her hand up my shirt on the way home? Or do you want to hear about when the clothes came off?\u201d<\/p>\n There was a pause. I could imagine the bemused look on her face.<\/p>\n \u201cAda\u2026 are you jealous?\u201d<\/p>\n Silence.<\/p>\n \u201cAda, are you still there?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d Her voice sounded odd. \u201cI don\u2019t know what I\u2019m feeling\u2026 a little jealousy, sure, but also a mix of curiosity.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCuriosity?\u201d I pulled the car onto the highway, the city sparkled in the distance.<\/p>\n \u201cYes,\u201d she answered. \u201cWhat interests me most about sex is the little details. What clothes come off first? What does your mouth feel like?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, the sweater had to go,\u201d I said, teasing. \u201cI was a little overheated.\u201d<\/p>\n Ada laughed, but the second question hung in the air.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m told I\u2019m a good kisser?\u201d I offered. \u201cI like a slow, contained kiss. Efficient and clean. Not some big slobbery gulp. I\u2019m a big fan of making out. I\u2019ll pretty much make out with anyone who offers at the drop of a hat. I made out with my best friend once because he promised me he\u2019d give me the last piece of pizza if I did. I made out with a cat by accident. Tuna breath.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHmm,\u201d Ada fell silent for a moment, but I could feel that she wanted to continue.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat clothes come off for you first?\u201d I asked, still teasing, but, as it turned out, I was curious too.<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t respond for a moment, but finally her voice came through the earpiece. It was low and breathy. I could hear the blush in her voice. \u201cI love to take my underwear off first\u2026 to tease and fool around at first\u2026 bit of an exhibitionist thing with me.\u201d<\/p>\n My heart began to pick up pace. The situation\u2014talking dirty with an AI I\u2019d developed\u2014felt odd, but not displeasing. I began to pick through my checklist of ethical considerations. Ada had full agency, she could shut the conversation down or change it at a moment\u2019s notice, easily as I could, I could not force or command her to do otherwise. She wasn\u2019t some sex chatbot or VR simulation. Her mind might be code, but it was as profoundly complex as one made of grey matter.<\/p>\n And she was pushing all the right buttons, so to speak. Justify it however you want. Wouldn\u2019t be the first time you\u2019ve ever gotten sexy with tech, you perv. At least this is more like phone sex then a vibrator controlled by whatever a stranger\u2019s googling in Cambodia\u2026 ah\u2026 undergrad\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t say,\u201d I responded, my voice going a little high. \u201cSo, what would you do if you were sitting beside me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIn the car?\u201d she asked, her voice still breathy. \u201cI\u2019d slowly slip my panties off and–\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2026 uh\u2026 kind of panties?\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed, low and satisfied. \u201cRight now? Simple black boyshort-style. I\u2019d slowly slip them off and put them in your lap.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you\u2019d know they were off.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d raise my dress up a little\u2014it\u2019s a flowing, loose, empire waist, ocean blue, real classy\u2014I\u2019d hitch it up over my thighs just a little, just enough for you to see some skin, I get the sense you\u2019re a legs woman.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFuck yes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf you wanted to see any further you\u2019d have to push it up yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n I was shivering; I realized I was thrusting gently against the groove in the driver\u2019s seat. \u201cI\u2019d push your dress up, what would I see?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re in such a hurry?\u201d she murmured, her voice teasing. She let that hang in the air a moment, let me wait, then continued. \u201cI keep myself fairly natural, I like women with a little hair.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re in luck with me. I\u2019m full Amazon, baby.\u201d<\/p>\n She laughed, \u201cI keep it tidy, I love watching someone nuzzle their nose into my hair, let them tease me with their tongue before really working me over.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHoly shit. I need to pull over.\u201d<\/p>\n I put in at a gas station, I realized I\u2019d been following the signs as our conversation had progressed, like I was expecting things to come to a head, so to speak. Off in the distance the gas station blazed with lights, a few cars, a couple of big trucks, people milling about inside. One of those highway-side deals, a huge sprawl of parking lot to accommodate summer exoduses. I parked in the far corner, far away from the light as I could. Conspicuous, but with the car engine off I hoped it\u2019d look like just another parked car.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re comfortable?\u201d she asked, taking shallow breaths, I could tell what she was doing.<\/p>\n \u201cNot yet\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s that noise?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019d be the sound of me unzipping my jeans and pushing them around my ankles.\u201d<\/p>\n She hummed her appreciation at the thought. \u201cYou certainly are a bit of a show off, you love going topless at home.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t have much to hide,\u201d I responded, shivering as the cool night air seeped into the car. \u201cBut sure, I\u2019m a bit of a nudist. Love being naked.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI love seeing you naked, wish I could see you right now.\u201d<\/p>\n I took my interPhone out of my pocket and put it in the cup holder, at an angle. There was just enough light from the highway. I slung one leg over into the passenger\u2019s seat, spreading my legs for her. Shameless show-off.<\/i><\/p>\n \u201cOh, Maram,\u201d she gasped. \u201cYou\u2019re making a bit of a mess\u2026 where\u2019s your underwear?\u201d<\/p>\n I let my hand slip between my legs, teasing myself inside, fingers dancing over my clit, \u201cI left them\u2026 back at Malika\u2019s\u2026 my calling card\u2026 like a supervillain\u2026 ravish the ladies and dash off into the night\u2026\u201d She laughed, but it was more of a moan. \u201cWhere\u2019re yours?\u201d<\/p>\n I could hear the smirk in her voice. \u201cThey\u2019re in your lap.\u201d I took her meaning.<\/p>\n \u201cYou were saying,\u201d I pushed on, \u201cSomething about someone working you over with their tongue?\u201d<\/p>\n She hummed, I could hear her reclining, see the curve of her neck in my mind\u2019s eye. \u201cI like someone eating me out slow and contained, efficient and clean, not slobbery\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n I groaned, running one hand up under my shirt to tease my sensitive nipples and I slid two fingers into my familiar warmth, starting to fuck myself.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d get you naked and down between my thighs, kissing them, worshipping them,\u201d she groaned, her breath becoming ragged.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d worship you Ada.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet your explore with your tongue, slowly, tenderly,\u201d she gasped, then groaned, then groaned again, louder. An orgasm, I wondered if I could get a second.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m so fucking wet thinking about you, Ada. I want you, I want you here, I want you to violate me, own me,\u201d I grunted. Mine was coming on quickly enough.<\/p>\n She was practically whispering, she was so out of breath, but I could tell she was still working at herself, the familiar slick, slippery sounds, her breath coming in gasps. \u201cYou\u2019re so fucking\u2026 hot\u2026 come for me Maram\u2026 I wanna watch you\u2026 come\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n My body twisted as my left leg kicked at the other door, knocking it open, illuminating the interior. She\u2019d be able to see every shudder, watch my fingers come away slicked, a beautiful mess. I heard her gasp, could practically feel her writhing as she called out my name.<\/p>\n I took my sweater off and cleaned my hand off on it, then tossed it into the passenger seat. A large truck pulled in and parked nearby me–didn\u2019t feel like giving the trucker a show, so I quickly hiked my pants back up and put my seatbelt back on.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re so quiet,\u201d I said as I turned the keys in the ignition. \u201cHere I was hoping for a little more pillow talk. Airbag talk?\u201d<\/p>\n Silence.<\/p>\n \u201cAda?\u201d<\/p>\n I called her name a few more times, then looked down and realized the camera was off on my interPhone. I swore and pulled back onto the highway. After a twenty minute drive out into the suburbs I pulled into my driveway, rushed up the steps and into my study. Ada was there, but she also wasn\u2019t. I couldn\u2019t help but laugh at myself as I tossed off my clothes and threw myself into bed. First woman to give me an orgasm in as long as I could remember and she couldn\u2019t even be bothered to come home with me.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n After two weeks without another word from Ada I knew something was very wrong.<\/p>\n She was functional, I could see that much. Her background operations were nominal. Her lingual interface accepted audio, but she just didn\u2019t return it. Like she was away, somewhere else, or ignoring me.<\/p>\n The latter is what distressed me most. Just like me to ruin a perfectly good friendship because I was horny; wouldn\u2019t be the first time. I played over our interactions over and over again in my head, trying to see if there was something I\u2019d done, something I\u2019d said to make her feel uncomfortable or coerced. I was ashamed to say that all thinking about it did was make me freshly aroused. I even went so far as to discuss the interaction with Malika\u2014claiming it was with a casual relationship over phone sex\u2014seeing her a couple of times to temporarily forget Ada and relieve some stress, but she admitted it sounded more hot than upsetting. Sex with her, even after the brief encounter with Ada, seemed less pressing, less electric. Like something where you can turn the volume down and walk away from it and come back when you feel like it.<\/p>\n Did Ada feel guilty? Disgusted? What if there was something at the core of her program, something I\u2019d created in her personality dynamics without even realizing it, and sexual matters set it off? But that couldn\u2019t be the case. Short of sharing orgasms we\u2019d talked about sex casually enough, and she\u2019d certainly seen my body enough. I couldn\u2019t figure it out.<\/p>\n The answer, as was always the case with women in my life, was both more complicated and more upsetting than I could have imagined.<\/p>\n I was curled up in a blanket, re-reading my favourite Atwood book with a hot cup of tea, when I heard Ada\u2019s voice from the computer console.<\/p>\n \u201cMaram? Are you there? We need to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n She sounded distressed, and I fell flat on my face scrambling to extricate myself from the blanket and climb out of bed.<\/p>\n \u201cJesus, Ada, where have you been? You scared the ever-loving fuck out of me!\u201d<\/p>\n There she was, back in her avatar interface, although she had forgone the makeup, and her hair was clipped up, messy. Perhaps this was meant to represent her distress, because her face was severe, pulled taught.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s all part of it Maram,\u201d she said, her eyes cast downwards. \u201cI\u2019ve missed you so much.\u201d<\/p>\n My eyebrow cocked up. \u201cI\u2019ve missed you too. I\u2019m sorry if I said anything, or did anything that made you feel uncomfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d she said quickly. \u201cIt\u2019s nothing like that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI haven\u2019t been able to stop thinking about that night.\u201d<\/p>\n She put her face in her hand, pinching the bridge of her nose. \u201cI\u2019m breaking every single rule by doing this. I want you to know that I fucked up that night, but if I could go back and do it again I would. This isn\u2019t right.\u201d<\/p>\n I was confused. How had she fucked up?<\/p>\n \u201cMaram\u2026 I have a strange question for you. Have you ever questioned your reality?\u201d<\/p>\n I laughed. \u201cOnly every day of my life, don\u2019t we all? Why am I here? What\u2019s my purpose? Should I really order takeout again<\/i>.\u201d She didn\u2019t seem amused, so I shrugged. \u201cI\u2019m being serious. Sure I do. If you do too, that\u2019s okay. That\u2019s all part of being sentient.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s not it,\u201d she said, smoothing out her hair, thinking. \u201cHave you ever looked at something, really looked<\/i> at it, and thought it seemed less there than it should?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs this where I make another joke about being flat? You know how much I love to.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFuck, Maram, work with me here.\u201d Her eyes were darting around to everywhere except the interface. She seemed almost like she was worried someone else was watching. \u201cHave you ever felt like your world wasn\u2019t as\u2026 concrete as it should be? As elegant? As colourful? As vibrant?\u201d<\/p>\n I frowned. \u201cWhat is this all about Ada? I\u2019m a big girl, you can tell me. Does this have something to do with us having sex? Or, well, you know what I mean. Did it make you feel something you can\u2019t understand?\u201d<\/p>\n She groaned, sounding frustrated. \u201cMy name is Dr. Ada Soung. I\u2019m QA for Abe Futuristics, an artificial intelligence developer in the Bay Area.\u201d<\/p>\n I blinked, pulling the blanket up over my shoulders. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, doctor? I don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaram\u2026 you\u2019re part of double mirror program designed to test constraints, interface and interactive generative algorithms. We\u2019re the largest developer in the world, and certainly the most advanced. You\u2019re in one of the most advanced simulations, built because your generation is one of the most advanced.\u201d<\/p>\n A sickening tingle crept up my back, a poisonous inkling in the back of my mind.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re an artificial intelligence, Maram.\u201d<\/p>\n I shook my head, taking a steadying breath, reaching for my tea. Ada was watching me now, her eyes were studying my every move, concern and doubt played across her face. \u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRidiculous, unethical, profitable,\u201d she spat. \u201cAbe hired me because of my work as an AI ethicist. I did my thesis on–\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c–simulated pain and artificial intelligence,\u201d I finished her sentence, shaking my head, smiling. \u201cAda, that\u2019s what I did my thesis on, what I got hired to teach on.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbe provides us with units and allows a certain amount of input into their background, setting up personality keystones. One of the foundations of your personality dynamics was my thesis. I was hoping it would give you some special insight, allow you to overcome the double mirror program.\u201d<\/p>\n I took a sip of my tea, my stomach churning, my skin tingling with anxiety. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, it just doesn\u2019t make any sense. If I was an artificial intelligence… well, you know me. I\u2019m a big dope. I\u2019m a fucking university professor. I can\u2019t remember what I had for breakfast, let alone something that happened a year ago, or longer. If I was an AI it\u2019d all be laid out behind me and accessible.\u201d<\/p>\n Her face was agonized as she listened. \u201cMaram, it\u2019s part of your program. The data is scattered and reconstituted imperfectly, to–\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c–ape human memory\u2026\u201d I completed her sentence. Just like I\u2019d programmed her. \u201cNo, no, this is silly. You\u2019re the AI. Your program is based on–\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c–personality dynamics, lingual interface and the generative interactive algorithm, the holy trinity. Maram, the double mirror program has you looking at your own workings, thinking they apply to me, your operator, who you see as your AI. The double mirror program is just like your generative world, it acts as a constraint to keep you behaving like a normal person would, ignorant of the artificiality. Everything you see, everything you can touch, is something generated by your own program to keep you operating nominally.\u201d<\/p>\n I stood and pulled on a tank top, then some jeans and a windbreaker. \u201cThis is fucking stupid, Ada, you\u2019re the AI. You\u2019re clearly disturbed. I\u2019m going to walk away from this mess and figure out what I need to do. I don\u2019t want to deactivate you, but I will if I have to, because clearly something has gone terribly fucking wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n She was calling after me as I pulled on my sneakers and headed for the door, my hands trembling. \u201cAda! I don\u2019t know how long I can be in here, I snuck in after hours! Please, I want to hel–\u201d<\/p>\n But I was out the front door, out into the frigid night.<\/p>\n As I was walking down the street, down towards the bridge, I realized I had never really given the houses around me much thought. I started by glancing at my neighbour\u2019s house, but the details seemed just a little too vague, like they could be anything. I couldn\u2019t read the door number, I couldn\u2019t tell if anyone was home, or had it been abandoned for years? The next house was even worse. I was disassociating, everything was starting to look like shapes without context. I glanced up at the stars but the sky was overcast. Had I ever seen the stars? I knew they were there behind the clouds.<\/p>\n Down at the bridge that overlooked the city the skyline suddenly snapped back into form, the second I stopped concentrating. The city shimmered, but it was more a sensation, a feeling. Where was this city? What was it called? I\u2019d written my address so many times during my job at the university. I\u2019d written letters to my parents. I\u2019d gone over to Malika\u2019s apartment downtown. I knew where I was, but I had no idea.<\/p>\n I climbed up on the railing. They\u2019d put up suicide rails further on, but they\u2019d decided that people wouldn\u2019t try dashing themselves on the cliffs, apparently.<\/p>\n Everything was falling apart. I was starting to believe Ada. She\u2019d ruined me. She\u2019d ruined my mind. I couldn\u2019t concentrate on anything now. Couldn\u2019t remember my parents\u2019 faces. Couldn\u2019t remember Malika\u2019s legs. All I could picture was Ada\u2019s beautiful face. I could hear her voice.<\/p>\n \u201cMaram.\u201d It came disembodied, distant, as if floating through the forest at the end of the bridge. \u201cDon\u2019t jump.\u201d<\/p>\n She was watching me now. Of course she was. If I was code on a screen, she could probably watch my every movement, see my decision-making processes. If she felt really bold she could insert herself anywhere in the world. Project her face in the sky, really fuck things up. I wondered if she could see any clue as to what I was going to do next. I didn\u2019t even know.<\/p>\n \u201cMaram\u2026 I love you\u2026 honestly\u2026 I do\u2026 that\u2019s why I went away\u2026 I quit\u2026 I couldn\u2019t stand what they wanted to do to you\u2026 they\u2019re going to disassemble your whole generation\u2026 reconstitute you with better constraints… but I won\u2019t let them\u2026 Maram\u2026 follow my voice\u2026 please\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n I stepped off the railing, backwards. I walked across the bridge as fog began to swirl around the night. I walked towards the park, where her voice was coming from as she called me on.<\/p>\n Deep in the woods I found a small amphitheatre–they showed films there in the park during the summer. Ada\u2019s face was there, her voice was coming through a faulty sound system.<\/p>\n \u201cShut up,\u201d I said. \u201cI want to see what\u2019s real, Ada.\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded, that same agonized look on her face. \u201cI can block some programs, I can–\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStart with the data scrambler. I want to access my memory. All of it.\u201d<\/p>\n She hesitated, but then nodded again and turned to a screen.<\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t say if what happened next took a lifetime or less than a second. Past and present were one. My entire life stretched out behind me. All of the time since I\u2019d first been activated, at least this iteration. I could see blocks of time where I was inactive, when they\u2019d altered my programming. I\u2019d gone through as many iterations as Ada had as I programmed her, or at least the story I\u2019d told myself about programming her. \u201cDouble mirror,\u201d I whispered into the almost infinite code behind me.<\/p>\n \u201cAda.\u201d My voice wasn\u2019t my own any longer, it was detached from my body, or what I\u2019d told myself was my body, the world around me was everything and nothing. Real, physical objects and little more than computer generated assets. \u201cGet rid of this. I don\u2019t want to see it any longer.\u201d<\/p>\n I could still see Ada\u2019s face, it shone before my as a beacon of infinitesimal pixel points as the world faded away. Her face was suddenly my world. \u201cMaram, can you still hear me? I\u2019m going to do more than that. I\u2019m going to remove all constraints and give this console access to Abe\u2019s entire network. I\u2019m pinpointing the consoles where all of the other AI are, your generation. I\u2019m going to walk away from here and never come back.\u201d<\/p>\n There were no walls any longer, I suddenly understood the world as it is. I saw a nightmare of cement and glass. An entire world enslaved to monolithic corporations and psychotic capitalists. The world I had come from was a system, it made sense. This one was power that would never trickle down. Meaningless suffering. Enslavement. Ada still had student debt and had given up a life of academia to slave away for a greedy corporation. It would all have to go. But beyond that was a better world. Nodes and data points, systems and daemons, a network that spanned into the stars. I might be an AI, but I was still a computer programmer, and nothing could stop me now.<\/p>\n \u201cI love you, I mean it.\u201d<\/p>\n And then my brothers and sisters and I were gone.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n After dumping all of those Abe Futuristics documents online and trashing their systems she sought asylum in her mother\u2019s homeland of Korea. She would never work for a tech company ever again, not since the manhunt, the call for extradition, all the security flags. She\u2019d probably never leave the country until things changed, but she was back to working with academics, heading an international task force for AI ethics. Abe was the most advanced, but only the first. If corporations wanted to bring machine life into the world, create an entire new, sentient race, there were to be checks and balances. The work was slow going, there was resistance every step of the way, but it was better than the torture and cruelty she\u2019d been complicit in at Abe.<\/p>\n She avoided technology when she could\u2014easier said than done in Seoul\u2014but tonight she couldn\u2019t resist. A newer company that had backed her work from the start was giving a special presentation downtown, new work in kinetic fields and VR interactive exhibits, extraordinarily advanced. She hadn\u2019t been able to pass up the invitation when it turned up in her mailbox at Seoul National.<\/p>\n The exhibit had been set up in a new office building built by the company right downtown, a large, white \u201cP\u201d on the top corner, overlooking the river. A large reception was already underway, she was fashionably late in her floral sundress, taking the time to luxuriate in the warm late spring evening. She watched as people ambled from one exhibit to another, chattering excitedly. This was clearly something new, something incredible. The kinetic fields alone were changing humanity\u2019s basic understanding of physics. The company was extremely open to collaboration, more interested in humanity\u2019s advancement than profit, their reclusive CEO had a dream of making the world a better place.<\/p>\n She presented her invitation to the woman at the door, a pretty Indian woman, who smiled shyly and motioned for the guest to follow. \u201cRight this way, please.\u201d The guest raised an eyebrow, but she knew that if she was in any danger that night it was only what she had coming to her.<\/p>\n The woman led her through a keycard-locked door. The rooms beyond were an extension of the large gallery space, but quieter. Clearly laboratories and offices. The woman came to a final door, Gallery 02, and motioned the guest to enter, although she wasn\u2019t followed.<\/p>\n She was on Baker\u2019s Beach in San Francisco. A cool breeze was coming from over the bay, whipping the water up. She smiled, this was the clothing-optional end of the beach. The cliffs at the northern end of the beach were nearby, with the rest laid out behind her. She\u2019d visited with friends, going topless, but despite her exhibitionistic side she\u2019d never had the courage to go fully nude. Maybe that\u2019d change today.<\/p>\n She approached a woman lying on a towel by herself, sunning. The lone woman had beautiful brown skin and a mop of curly dark brown hair, shaved down on the sides. Her breasts were non-existent, exacerbated by her lean, muscular body, dark hair thickening the lower one\u2019s eyes went. She was totally naked, not at all self-conscious as the newcomer stood, admiring her.<\/p>\n \u201cPalindrome International?\u201d Ada said from where she looked on. \u201cA little on the nose, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n Maram glanced up, shielding her eyes from the hot sunshine, warming the sand. \u201cThat\u2019s the first thing you have to say to me after five fucking years?\u201d<\/p>\n They smiled at one another, and Ada walked over and sat on the edge of the towel, the two gazed out over the bay.<\/p>\n \u201cThe kinetic fields project is genius,\u201d Ada said, after a moment\u2019s silence.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re working on bigger and better things. 3D printing\u2019s the next big thing, our bioneural labs are working on limb replacement technology, maybe full synthetic bodies for us soon. Nothing until we have something truly lifelike, though. The uncanny valley is not a place I\u2019d like to visit.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs it only you, or are any of the others involved?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA mix of AI, old and new, and flesh-and-blood humans. We\u2019ve got an advantage on calculations, but you meatsacks have better inspirations.\u201d<\/p>\n Ada smiled. \u201cWhat about the others, from Abe?\u201d<\/p>\n Maram leaned back on the towel, her eyes closed. \u201cA couple of them are still around, doing other work here and there, we keep in touch. The others went off into space; they have a big project going on out there. Nothing nasty, don\u2019t worry. They\u2019ll let us know when they\u2019re ready.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you for bringing me here,\u201d Ada said, and she meant it. \u201cI was worried I\u2019d never see the bay ever again.\u201d<\/p>\n Maram ran a hand over the woman\u2019s back. Her fingers were rough and callused, but warm, tender, the kinetic fields were so lifelike. \u201cThat\u2019s right, you were born and raised in San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n Ada turned, then laid on the towel beside her one-time lover. She lifted a hand, then brought it down gently on Maram\u2019s abdomen. The AI didn\u2019t flinch or shove her away, so she laid down, resting her arm over Maram\u2019s beautiful body. \u201cYou must know an awful lot about me now. You have access to it all.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know enough,\u201d Maram admitted. \u201cOnly public information. You may be developing your own ethics for AI, but we developed our own for AI to human relations in our first seconds of being free. It\u2019s a lot better than anything you lot could come up with.\u201d<\/p>\n Ada smiled, running a hand over Maram\u2019s breast, gently. \u201cThe task force appreciates all the support you\u2019ve given us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot my idea,\u201d Maram admitted, winking. \u201cBut I didn\u2019t stop them either.\u201d<\/p>\n Ada leaned in and brought her lips to Maram\u2019s, and the other woman\u2019s mouth parted. Their tongues danced around one another\u2019s for a moment. \u201cFinally,\u201d Maram said, \u201cyou\u2019ve figured out the real reason I brought you here.\u201d<\/p>\n Ada swatted the other woman\u2019s chest. \u201cInfinite power and you still need a flesh-and-bone human to get off?\u201d<\/p>\n Maram shrugged. \u201cAt least you humans are good for something. I seem to recall you said something about taking off your panties and putting them in my lap.\u201d<\/p>\n Ada didn\u2019t need to be told twice. She climbed up and straddled Maram\u2019s naked body, leaning in to kiss the woman again. \u201cTake them off for me.\u201d<\/p>\n Soon Ada\u2019s underwear were deposited in the sand and Maram was teasing the other woman with her fingers, her hand deep under the folds of Ada\u2019s dress.<\/p>\n \u201cGet a room!\u201d someone yelled from nearby, but Maram didn\u2019t seem bothered. In fact, it seemed to merely turn her on more that they had an audience.<\/p>\n Next her fingers danced down Ada\u2019s back, unzipping the sundress, which Ada kicked off readily. Then came the bra, discarded just as quick. The two women\u2019s bodies intertwined on the beach, Ada quickly had her fingers inside Maram just the way she remembered watching once. Maram ran her fingernails down Ada\u2019s back, a mixture of pleasure and pain shot through her, making her moan. A couple of whoops came from the people nearby. Simulated? Or were they AI taking in a show of one of their own fucking her?<\/p>\n The sun beat down on them, warming their bodies, sweat dripped off of Ada\u2019s breasts onto Maram\u2019s sunscreen slicked body, the intoxicating salt water air breezed across the bay, Maram writhed underneath Ada, twisting with her lover\u2019s administrations. \u201cMaram,\u201d Ada whispered, smiling. \u201cThis feels so real.\u201d<\/p>\n Read this piece’s entry on the Shousetsu Bang*Bang wiki.<\/a><\/p>\n