{"id":10922,"date":"2022-12-18T13:42:56","date_gmt":"2022-12-18T18:42:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/?p=10922"},"modified":"2022-12-19T05:01:54","modified_gmt":"2022-12-19T10:01:54","slug":"how-to-write-haiku","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/how-to-write-haiku\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Write Haiku"},"content":{"rendered":"

by H.P. Lovecock (\u529b\u3002\u4e0b\u3002\u611b\u3061\u3093\u3061\u3093)
\nillustrated by TOFU+BEAST<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Tai doesn\u2019t look at himself in the mirror as he gets dressed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Firefly flickers\u2026<\/span><\/i>\u201d he murmurs to himself, seeing how the words feel as his mouth forms them.<\/span><\/p>\n

He lopes over to his laptop, pants half up his legs, shirt pulled over his head, but he hasn\u2019t gotten to pulling his arms through the lavender tee, so it hangs like a scarf.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Day passed, night\u2019s page turned\u2026<\/span><\/i>\u201d He taps next on the music player a few times, the songs barely registering.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey Tai,\u201d his father calls from their apartment kitchen, \u201cyou need a drive to work?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna walk!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His father grunts in the affirmative. Tai absentmindedly pulls his pants up and buttons them, arms barely through sleeves when he grabs his headphones off his desk. A single press of a button on the wireless device and his music jumps from the laptop to the headphones and follows him out of the room towards the entryway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Routine lonely dance,<\/span><\/i>\u201d he taps the words into his phone as he slips his sneakers on, and posts it.<\/span><\/p>\n

By the time he\u2019s locked the door behind him, he\u2019s already considering the colour of the oak trees against the harsh off-white cement of the neighbouring apartment building. That would make a good haiku.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sora looks at himself in the mirror as he gets dressed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Not his favourite part of the day.<\/span><\/p>\n

The briefs are cute. Pink, classic y-front. Clothes are easy. The rest of him\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Ugh.<\/span><\/p>\n

He grabs a pair of slim, light-blue jeans and slips into them. On goes the light pink tanktop, one size up, and his signature oversized, faded, peach hoodie. He musses his light brown hair, too wavy to be curly and too curly to be wavy. Obnoxious, but he\u2019s grown it out so it forms a fringe he can pull down over his eyes that at least looks kind of cool. He looks at himself again. Nothing but freckles and awkwardness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ugh.<\/span><\/p>\n

He heads over to the vanity in his room, he\u2019s already done the expensive primer from Korea, so on goes liquid foundation, a perfect match for his pale skin. Concealer, powder, bronzer, blush, highlights, eyeliner. His eyelashes are about the only part of himself he likes, so he skips mascara. A touch of eyeliner. Blend, blend, blend. Fix, fix, fix. Through repetition and about a million hours of YouTube videos he can do a natural look that only people who know makeup have ever commented on.<\/span><\/p>\n

He smiles at himself in the vanity mirror.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ugh.<\/span><\/p>\n

He goes over to the corner his dad helped him set up for shooting and livestreaming, a wall of BL spines lined up prettily on shelves behind him. He flips the streaming light on, nothing over-the-top but enough to contrast his face out a bit. He whips his phone out, takes a look with the camera facing him. The oversized hoodie, the hair, the subtle contouring, he looks something like how he\u2019s supposed to look.<\/span><\/p>\n

Good enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

He hits the livestream button on Melon and in a matter of seconds a hundred people are watching. Then that doubles. Then that doubles.<\/span><\/p>\n

He grins.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey B-Lovers! It\u2019s your boy-love, Sky-Blue!\u201d he says, striking his signature pose. Right hand thumb on chin, pointer finger forming an L-shape at the camera, winking. The comments and heart emojis are already rolling in by the hundreds.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know what today is?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He laughs as people clamber to get his attention in the comments, and responds to a couple of good ones that he catches. No, he\u2019s not marrying his biggest fan today! No, he\u2019s not joining an idol group, not yet! No, he\u2019s not taking it all off, dummy!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cToday\u2019s the release day for <\/span>Bluebirds Sing In Summer<\/span><\/i>!\u201d he pumps his fist in the air excitedly. \u201cEr\u012btokurou-sensei\u2019s new series! Sounds like it might be about me, right? I obviously preordered it! So I thought we\u2019d have a super cute date at the mall. Shoot me a heart if you\u2019re ready to go!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His screen quickly fills up with hearts and emojis, and he laughs and shoots his pose at the camera before dropping the connection. The stream goes on his daily highlights, he\u2019ll do another video on the bus, then a little tour of all his favourite spots at Sakura Mall before heading to the bookstore to grab his copy. He already has a few more subscribers.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Errant summer breeze,<\/span><\/i>\u201d Tai mutters to himself as his finger rests on the emerald-green and gilded spine of <\/span>Le Morte d\u2019Arthur<\/span><\/i>. His finger slips off and slides his phone out of his pocket. \u201c<\/span>Wind does not whisper: autumn<\/span><\/i>. Hmm\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPhone away on the floor, Morikawa,\u201d the floor supervisor, whose name he can\u2019t remember, snaps as he passes by at the end of the aisle. The concrete slab of a man in his red uniform polo does a double take and circles back. \u201cUgh, and headphones off. You\u2019re not even supposed to have those on the floor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d Tai murmurs, but the man has already moved on. \u201cWind does not whisper: autumn\u2026 Trees\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMorikawa, do you copy? Over,\u201d Hiramatsu\u2019s voice comes over the employee earpiece Tai usually leaves dangling off his ear unless someone\u2019s speaking directly to him\u2026 if he hears them\u2026 His friend\u2019s speaking in exaggerated radio protocol as usual.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYup,\u201d he says, slipping the earpiece on, smiling to himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re supposed to say, \u2018over\u2019! Over.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Over\u2026 the treetops\u2026<\/span><\/i> Nah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re useless,\u201d Hiramatsu chastises him playfully. \u201cBoss wants you on orders with me. Thinks you need supervision, and he\u2019s probably right!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018\u2019Kay, be right there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The Books Bizenkuni is a sprawling two level flagship of rows upon rows of bookshelves, with a couple sections for things like music, toys, decor and a big central plaza area with a pretty fountain and a stage for occasional author appearances. In the fountain plaza they\u2019re draping huge advertisements for the fireworks festival in two weekends, just before the new school year starts. The end of summer.<\/span><\/p>\n

The store\u2019s packed with weekend customers, perched on every inch of reading seats\u2013many improvising seats with display tables or the floor, they have to stop people from sitting on railings\u2013flipping through books, newspapers or magazines. Tai likes the quiet and muted murmurs of a full store. The supervisor thinks they should take the seats away to encourage people to buy instead of just taking up space reading for free and messing up the shelves.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Leaves rustle, soft voice\u2026<\/span><\/i>\u201d he murmurs to himself, tapping away on his phone as he hops on the escalator, heading upstairs to orders.<\/span><\/p>\n

His friend\u2019s lording over special orders as usual, deep in conversation with Mrs. Miyashita about Byronic poetry, while handing out orders without people needing to give him their name, he\u2019s so familiar with the regular clientele. Hiramatsu is assistant floor supervisor, which as far as Tai can tell means he has more responsibility and work for about a dollar more an hour than the rest of them make, but he doesn\u2019t seem to mind if it means he can rule over his kingdom of special and custom orders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat took you so long?\u201d Hiramatsu teases. \u201cYou get lost or something?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHello Mrs. Miyashita,\u201d Tai says, giving the older woman a quick, respectful bow before ducking under the counter. Manners go a long way with her.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLittle Taiki,\u201d she coos. \u201cWhat have you got for us today?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai feels his face flush, and internally curses Hiramatsu as his friend gives him an indulgent smile. Ever since Hiramatsu told her that Tai writes haiku, she asks him for one every time she sees him. Better to just get it over with.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026 okay,\u201d he says, slipping his phone out of his pocket, hand trembling a little as he opens up his Melon account. He clears his breath and tries to keep his voice even as he says:<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Creamsicle dusk,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Moths swim in gold pools of light\u2013<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Nights grow longer now<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hiramatsu nods his head appreciatively, and Mrs. Miyashita closes her eyes and hums in contemplation. Tai turns away and pretends to organize an already aggressively organized shelf of orders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe playful romanticism of a sunset,\u201d Hiramtsu comments. God, Tai hates when they do this.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut a touch of melancholy,\u201d Mrs. Miyashita intones. \u201cThe inevitable end of summer, I\u2019ve seen a few of them. Our little poet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just haiku,\u201d Tai grumbles, mostly to himself. He turns and bumps into the shelf, which wobbles precariously. He glances down; the small, coverless, ruined book underneath the shelf\u2019s weird front leg is coming loose, so he kicks it back into place. They really need to get a new shelf, it gets unsteady whenever it\u2019s too full.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEXCUSE ME, I\u2019M LOOKING FOR <\/span>ASHES OF THE ROSE<\/span><\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai and Hiramatsu both flinch. Mrs. Myashita just gives an exasperated sigh. \u201cHello, Mr. Watanabe.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIT\u2019S A BOOK OF POETRY, BUT I\u2026 CAN\u2019T QUITE REMEMBER THE AUTHOR\u2019S NAME.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai turns and gives the tiny old man a grin equally affectionate and consternated. Mr. Watanabe\u2019s from the same retirement community as Mrs. Miyashita, just across the road from Sakura Mall. He\u2019s not really supposed to be out wandering on his own, he has dementia, and he\u2019s practically deaf, but he\u2019s wily, nothing short of barricading him in his room can keep him from getting out. Eventually, when the staff realized he only wandered between the home and the bookstore, they gave up trying to keep him locked in.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Mr. Watanabe,\u201d Hiramatsu says cheerfully. \u201cAllow me to check for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai\u2019s friend turns to the computer and mimes typing the title into the system. It\u2019s a ritual, a rite of passage for anyone who works in the Sakura Mall Bizenkuni. Mr. Watanabe\u2019s been asking for <\/span>Ashes of the Rose<\/span><\/i> for as long as Tai\u2019s worked in the bookstore, probably a lot longer. The system doesn\u2019t even have it listed, they\u2019re not even sure the book exists anywhere except in sweet old Mr. Watanabe\u2019s mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019re you doing today, Mr. Watanabe?\u201d Tai asks, and then has to repeat himself twice more, progressively louder, until he\u2019s practically shouting, blushing once again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cQUITE WELL, TAIKI. QUITE WELL.\u201d They have no idea why, but for some reason Mr. Watanabe remembers Tai\u2019s name, and Tai\u2019s name alone. \u201cI QUITE ENJOYED YOUR POEM ABOUT THE FOREST PATH.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He also reads Tai\u2019s haiku; it\u2019s an open secret (spread by Hiramatsu) that Tai has an anonymous Melon account where he posts his poems. The haiku are mortifyingly graffitied around the mall by a local ne’er-do-well, otherwise Mr. Watanabe would probably never see it. He probably doesn\u2019t even know what the Internet is.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHmm,\u201d Hiramatsu continues the act. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, sir. It doesn\u2019t look like we have <\/span>Ashes of the Rose<\/span><\/i> in stock.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCOULD YOU ORDER IT FOR ME?\u201d Mr. Watanabe asks once again. Mrs. Miyashita sighs again. Tai doesn\u2019t like when people act like Mr. Watanabe is a burden. He\u2019s just a confused old man who wants some poetry.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, sir, of course,\u201d Hiramatsu chirps as he pretends to type an order in. He hasn\u2019t even taken any contact information. He doesn\u2019t have to. Mr. Watanabe will be back, and the book will never come in. \u201cAll done, we\u2019ll give you a call when it arrives.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me walk you back, Kazuko,\u201d Mrs. Miyashita says, locking Mr. Watanabe\u2019s arm in hers as he shouts his thanks to Hiramatsu.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKEEP WRITING, TAIKI,\u201d Mr. Watanabe cries over his shoulder as he\u2019s led away. Mrs. Miyashita sighs again when he thanks her, and asks who she is.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPoor old Mr. Watanabe,\u201d Hiramatsu says, but Tai\u2019s lost in thought as he scribbles the title down on some note paper and pockets it, so he\u2019ll remember for later. Ashes of the Rose. Five syllables. Maybe he could ask around and see if he can track it down before the end of summer.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI love boba so much,\u201d Sora purrs to his audience as he takes a sip of his mango green tea with fruit jelly, half ice, regular sweet, framing the big bookstore in the background from the ledge of the fountain. He holds the cup up to the camera, the bright orange and rainbow of jellies swirling in the cup. \u201cLook, it matches my outfit! What\u2019s your order when you get bubble tea?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The comments pour in and he points out a couple of them that he\u2019s going to have to try.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, B-Lovers. I can\u2019t wait any longer. I\u2019m going to go grab my copy of <\/span>Bluebirds Sing In Summer<\/span><\/i>. Believe me, you\u2019re not going to see me again until I do my livestream review tomorrow. I\u2019ll probably cry, and I can\u2019t let any of you see me like that! So embarrassing!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He gets about a hundred offers of shoulders to cry on, or hugs or\u2026 other things. He giggles and shoots the livestream his signature pose before stopping the recording and posting it to his highlights. He gives an exhausted sigh and sits there listening to the fountain for a few minutes, sipping his bubble tea. He loves his audience, but it\u2019s exhausting to be so frickin\u2019 positive all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDamnit, Hidaka!\u201d Sora turns and watches a grumpy looking employee chasing a little punk with bleach-blond hair, who\u2019s waving something over his head. They turn a lot of heads, the punk runs up the down escalator, taking them two at a time, and the scowling, middle aged man runs after him before realizing it\u2019s a losing battle, and screams curses after the kid before turning around to take the regular stairs. Sora wished he\u2019d caught that on the livestream.<\/span><\/p>\n

Upstairs he stops in the non-fiction section near the orders desk. He flips his phone case open and hunts for the email, in case they ask for the order number.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Bluebirds Sing In Summer<\/span><\/i>,\u201d Sora hears a soft voice say slowly, and he feels butterflies in his stomach, though he doesn\u2019t know why. He glances around, worried a fan\u2019s stalking him, but there\u2019s no one else in his aisle. Sounds like it came from the direction of the\u2026 order desk?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSix syllables,\u201d a louder, bombastic voice says in response. \u201cNew poem?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Soft voice\u2019s sigh answers that.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHisakawa Sora\u2026\u201d loud-voice says. An embarrassed smile creeps across Sora\u2019s face. They\u2019re talking about his manga, of course.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOoh, it\u2019s BL. I bet she\u2019s cute,\u201d loud voice draws the last word out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe?\u201d soft-voice asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah! Girls <\/span>love<\/span><\/i> this stuff.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Now Sora really wishes he were livestreaming this, not that his phone would be able to pick up the audio well. His fans are going to love this story, he\u2019s already putting the narrative together in his head as he ducks around the corner.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora steps out from the non-fiction aisle and is about to triumphantly strike a pose and announce himself, as something cannonballs into him from behind.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora topples and practically faceplants onto the orders desk, watching his phone go flying, his hand reflexively squeezing the boba cup, which explodes all over his front. He can see a chunk of fruit jelly lodge itself in his fringe. A bigger, beefier teen guy watches the phone soar through the air, his mouth making a perfect <\/span>o<\/span><\/i>. A perplexed, shaggy and dark haired boy behind the orders desk raises his hand to catch it, but it\u2019s too late. It beams him square in the face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHidaka! You little bastard!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A giggling, bleach-blond bullet shoots by, chased by the employee from downstairs. The bigger boy looks back and forth between Sora and dark-hair, unsure of what to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God,\u201d the bigger guy slaps his hands to his face. \u201cYou\u2019re Sky-Blue! You\u2019re an influencer!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOmigod!\u201d Sora gasps as shaggy-hair dabs at his nose. Blood drips out of it. \u201cOmigod!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019mb ogay,\u201d shaggy hair says. His voice goes stuffy as he sniffs at the blood dripping from his nose down his arm, leaving a crimson line behind it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God!\u201d the bigger guy cries out. \u201cI\u2019ll go get some\u2026 napkins?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He turns around, frantically searching the cabinet behind the order desk.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora can already feel the sticky bubble tea dripping down his face, soaking through his hoodie. This is a nightmare. His makeup\u2019s probably a disaster, and the hoodie feels disgusting.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u201d –he grunts as he peels the hoodie off, not sure if he should cling it to his front and hide behind it, or hold it away from him as it drips with bubble tea– \u201cHisakawa Sora\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Shaggy-hair\u2019s eyes are kind of unfocused as he glances down at the manga on the desk, beside his phone, then stares up directly at Sora. Just great, he\u2019s probably given this cute guy a concussion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI lyge your freggles.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh no\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

This is a night nightmare!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Sora\u2019s hand shoots out and snatches his copy of <\/span>Bluebirds Sing In Summer<\/span><\/i> and he turns to run, before realizing he forgot his phone. He pivots back, snatches the forest-green case off the orders desk and, before shaggy-hair can say another word, he\u2019s ducked behind the non-fiction shelf, face pressed into his soaked hoodie, smudging his ruined makeup even worse, sobbing.<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s no way he\u2019s telling his fans about this.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHe has freckles?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2019re up on the roof watching one of Sky-Blue\u2019s ViewTube videos. Well, Hiramatsu\u2019s watching the video, and shoving it in front of Tai\u2019s face. Hidaka\u2019s practicing his kanji by defacing the rooftop tiles.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Tai says, squinting his eyes trying to see the freckles in the video. Sky-Blue\u2019s face is porcelain-smooth, and the oversized pastel orange hoodie he\u2019s wearing is covering his shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you said you like \u2019em?\u201d Hidaka says, giving Tai a sly smile from the corner where he\u2019s written \u201csun-water\u201d instead of the symbols for Japan. Tai kind of likes that\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

In the morning\u2026 Sun-water shimmers sky-bright.<\/span><\/p>\n

He pulls his phone out of his pocket<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Tai says. \u201cFreckles are cute.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai\u2019s still not sure how Hidaka ended up in their orbit. He seems to remember the fourteen-year-old delinquent is somewhat related to Hiramatsu\u2026 a cousin\u2019s cousin or something. If his family thought shipping him off to a more rural area would set him straight, they were grossly optimistic. He\u2019s stolen and somehow carried every piece of the trio\u2019s makeshift \u201cstaff room\u201d up onto the Sakura Mall rooftop. Graffiti, theft, ketchup-related vandalism\u2026 he\u2019s done it all, and has already been banned from the mall twice, not that it\u2019s kept him away. He also has an embarrassing (and secretly a little bit flattering) habit of graffitiing Tai\u2019s haiku on any surface he can for some implacable reason.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hidaka\u2019s head perks up as Tai opens the phone case to make a note about sun-water.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou writing something new?\u201d Hidaka asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hiramatsu glances up too, Tai\u2019s gone even quieter than usual.<\/span><\/p>\n

The forest green phone case is the same as his, but the phone isn\u2019t. It\u2019s a newer model, with a lock screen background of two androgynous anime boys in school uniforms holding each other, cherry blossoms falling around them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou have Sky-Blue\u2019s phone?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do I do?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora\u2019s foster brothers sit with him on his bed as he sobs into a pillow. His family are the only people he\u2019ll let see him without makeup, he wiped off the ruined remnants as soon as he got home, then proceeded to sob into his pillow until his brothers came to comfort him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Little brown-haired Shinsuke, tech genius that he is, holds his hand out with his phone open. \u201cCan I see it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora hands the phone to him. Whoever shaggy-hair is, he\u2019s extremely trusting. He doesn\u2019t even have a passcode. When Sora realized it wasn\u2019t his own phone, he opened it up directly to a Melon page with nothing but years worth of haiku. Then he had a freakout.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry,\u201d Shinobu murmurs. Even though he\u2019s a year younger than Sora he always acts like the older brother. He puts his arm around Sora\u2019s shoulders, comforting him. \u201cIt\u2019s not like he\u2019ll be able to mess up any of your accounts.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not the problem!\u201d Sora sniffles. \u201cI practically broke his nose, and I was such a mess\u2026 He saw my–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s calling!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora and Shinobu both gasp as Shinsuke holds the phone out, grinning, camera pointed at the three of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s ringing!\u201d Hiramatsu cries out.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai blinks at the phone as Hidaka scrambles over to his other side.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAren\u2019tcha gonna answer it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s someone else\u2019s phone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s your number, dude!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hidaka presses the answer button; suddenly the three of them are facing Sky-Blue and two other guys. The six teenagers stare at each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe does have freckles!\u201d Hiramatsu says.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sky-Blue cries out and grabs a pillow, holding it in front of his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh,\u201d a younger boy with neat dark hair points the phone at himself. \u201cCan you give Sora his phone back?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan we get a selfie with you?!\u201d Hiramatsu asks, and Hidaka snorts.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t know you liked gay stuff, Kenji.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hiramatsu scoffs, \u201cI keep my mind open to the possibility of love coming from any old place, Hidaka.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe can meet in the shop district,\u201d Tai says.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hiramatsu and Hidaka give Tai an incredulous look, mirroring the two boys on the other end looking at the pillow, who squeaks from behind the pillow.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sora strides confidently into the shop district just as the street lamps are flickering to life. He\u2019s redone his makeup and he looks at least something like he\u2019s supposed to again. He looks better, not a mess. Things are still busy, the nightlife district\u2019s just down the street so patrons and tourists are turning into rowdy college kids and office workers. Shaggy-hair\u2026 Tai is waiting at the corner, red uniform polo swapped for a cute, pale purple tee. He pulls his headphones off, gives a small smile and an awkward wave when he recognizes Sora.<\/span><\/p>\n

They exchange phones; both of them have the exact same forest-green case. Then Sora\u2019s eyes drop to the ground. \u201cPlease! Let me buy you some bubble tea, to say sorry for–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never had bubble tea before.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora\u2019s mouth drops open. He\u2019s met an actual alien.<\/span><\/p>\n

After they\u2019ve grabbed some boba from a place that makes their own tapioca, Sora trails after Tai, who\u2019s stopping into every used bookstore, looking for some book called <\/span>Ashes of the Rose<\/span><\/i>. When he asked, the other boy muttered something about an old man who shouted stuff.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo you write poetry?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai stops dead in his tracks, and Sora can actually see the blush creep up his neck in real time. He wishes he could take a video, it\u2019s adorable. \u201cHaiku.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah,\u201d Sora says as they head into another used bookstore. Tai floats over towards the poetry section. \u201cThat\u2019s like the five-seven-five thing, right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai actually looks a little miffed, first time he\u2019s looked like anything other than dopey or spaced out since they met. He seemed utterly bewildered by the bubble tea menu. Sora finds it kind of cute.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s\u2026 about a little more than syllables,\u201d Tai says. \u201cIt\u2019s evolved, there are lots of ways you can tackle them. Um, everyone has their own way to write them. Traditional Japanese versions were phonetically five-seven-five. I try to, uh, keep it at or under\u2026 the syllable count\u2026 It\u2019s more about the words and images, I guess.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora nods. \u201cI read some of yours. They\u2019re pretty.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai ducks under the poetry book bins, pretending to dig around in the overstock. Sora grins.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a thing called a\u2026 cutting word, or cutting letter, I guess,\u201d Tai\u2019s voice is muffled as he moves some piles of books around underneath the bins, searching. \u201cIt used to be about using certain words in an\u2026 emotionally affective way, kinda.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s also usually about, like, cherry blossoms and winter snow, right.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai sighs. \u201cThe good ones. They usually have a seasonal reference, or at least nature for mine\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHmm\u2026 let me try one, see what you think?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai\u2019s head pops up. He actually looks interested in Sora for the first time.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora counts the syllables off on his fingers as he goes. \u201cHmm\u2026 <\/span>A dusty bookstore<\/span><\/i>\u2026 <\/span>I search shelves for a rose book<\/span><\/i>\u2026 <\/span>I<\/span><\/i>–What?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai\u2019s face twisted in distaste before Sora got halfway through the second line. \u201cNo, it was\u2026 good.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just\u2026\u201d Tai rubs the back of his neck. \u201cI don\u2019t like haiku with \u2018I\u2019 in them\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora raises a well-manicured eyebrow.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just think\u2026\u201d Tai sighs. He turns to the attendant, a man with hair so big and fuzzy his head looks like a bush. \u201cHave you heard of a book called <\/span>Ashes of the Rose<\/span><\/i>?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The guy taps the title into the old PC on the store desk, slowly, one letter at a time, and gives an exaggerated shrug, so they move on.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou just think what?\u201d Sora asks when they\u2019re outside.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai looks uncomfortable. \u201cUm. I think it\u2019s a waste of space. I think you can still put yourself in the poem without\u2026 putting yourself in\u2026 you know, directly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay\u2026 like what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They stop on top of a little footbridge over a stream that leads through the field. Tai\u2019s apartment building is not too far beyond, in the hills, while the big townhouse Sora\u2019s family lives in is by the waterfront, down the road. They stop and watch the fireflies, there\u2019s not as many as in June or July, but blades of grass and leaves blink with their light. Then he hears Tai\u2019s voice:<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dusk sweeps over field,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Two fireflies meet and part;<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Grass bowed to hushed wind<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tai gives a shrug. Sora leans in and kisses him.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s clumsy as far as kisses go. Their teeth clack a little and Tai almost falls over backwards, over the railing, as he reels from it. Sora pulls away, both of them wide-eyed. Sora pulls his fringe down over his face. \u201cSorry, I just thought–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora squeaks a little as Tai\u2019s lips meet his this time. He sighs and melts into it as Tai presses him against the opposite railing. They both practically go over into the stream this time. Sora\u2019s hands roam up and down Tai\u2019s back, then up under his shirt. He\u2019s a little scrawny for his height, but surprisingly muscular. Their fronts press against each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

Somehow they end up in the field, fireflies blinking around them as Tai straddles Sora. He\u2019s moaning a little as Tai grinds against him. Tai\u2019s lost his shirt, and fumbles at the button of Sora\u2019s jeans and pops it open. He tries to take the freshly laundered hoodie off, but Sora stops him, so instead he lets Tai push his shirt up a little and kiss down his tummy, self-conscious as that makes him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Less so when he looks down and sees Tai pressing his face against Sora\u2019s erection. He lets out a moan. Then lifts his butt up to let Tai pull his pants and briefs down a little. The grass and damp earth feels cool underneath his bare butt.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a couple minutes of grunting and wincing, Sora reaches down and pulls Tai off his dick.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026 first time?\u201d Sora asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai looks crestfallen, and Sora\u2019s eyes go wide in horror.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no! It\u2019s just\u2026\u201d Sora sighs in exasperation. \u201cLemme show you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He leans forward and their lips meet again. A warm breeze washes over the field. He pushes Tai over backwards and climbs on top of him, unbuttoning his jeans and at the waist. Tai looks so frickin\u2019 sexy; shirtless, lean body, hint of muscles, biting his lip as Sora pulls his pants and undies down around his knees.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora takes Tai in his mouth and glances up as the other guy throws his head back, gasping. It\u2019s not Sora\u2019s first time. High school was a busy time for him.<\/span><\/p>\n

As he continues to suck Tai off, he runs his hand up the other guy\u2019s sexy abs, over his nipples one at a time while Sora strokes him with his free hand. Tai thrashes underneath him, overstimulated. Sora loves it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Tai groans, glancing down, then away, moaning and panting. \u201cI think\u2026 I get the idea.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLess teeth.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLess teeth\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora\u2019s about to lean back, but Tai surprises him by twisting his body around, pants sliding further down his legs as he props himself up on his side and leans in, grasping Sora\u2019s dick again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh my God, they\u2019re sixty-nining. In a field. Outside. Near a walking path.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh my God, it\u2019s so hot.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMm, see if you\u2026 can slide that\u2026 mm, down your throat\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai gags a little, and Sora practically blows right then and there, it sounds so frickin\u2019 nasty.<\/span><\/p>\n

Neither of them last long. Sora slips Tai\u2019s dick out from between his lips and moans, \u201cI\u2019m gonna\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai groans, still trying to deep throat Sora and he\u2019s not\u2026 particularly small. He continues stroking Tai without thinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 oh God\u2026 seriously\u2026 I\u2019m gonna–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He gasps as he unloads, and hears Tai gag and cough, his dick still down his throat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then Tai\u2019s come hits him right in the forehead. Then right in the eye.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai pulls Sora out of his mouth, coughing and laughing, while Sora leans back, grasping for something to wipe at his eye. He starts laughing when he realizes it\u2019s Tai\u2019s shirt, now smeared and sticky.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt came\u2026 out of my nose,\u201d Tai coughs, wiping at his nose with tears of laughter streaming down his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI got yours in my eye, you bastard!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora clumsily gets to his knees, then falls onto Tai, their legs, pants halfway down, Tai\u2019s practically off bunched up around his ankles, becoming an ungainly tangle. They kiss and Sora can taste himself on Tai\u2019s tongue. He shivers in the night air, and they smile at each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When Tai gets home after he and Sora\u2026 did stuff, he has a new follower on his Melon account, now one of eighteen. He can\u2019t stop smiling, even as he gets ready for work and starts his shift. His dad, people at work notice, it\u2019s embarrassing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo I asked my dad about <\/span>Ashes of the Rose<\/span><\/i>,\u201d Sora says on video chat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai perks up, and he glances around, then sneaks into the cookbook section. He shouldn\u2019t be video calling\u2026 but he couldn\u2019t help it when Sora called him in the middle of his shift. He\u2019s not sure he\u2019s ever spoken to anyone on the phone for more than thirty seconds.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a regional book rep for a bunch of big publishers,\u201d Sora explains. He\u2019s got his makeup done; said he\u2019s recording a review in a bit. Tai kind of wishes he didn\u2019t. After they\u2026 did stuff the other night, it was the perfect opportunity to admire Sora\u2019s freckles without him realizing it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHas he heard of it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d Sora says. Tai feels his shoulders droop a little. \u201cBut\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai glances around again, then slides down against the wall until he\u2019s sitting. Sora\u2019s grinning at him and he feels his stomach flutter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere used to be an old-school printing house, and you\u2019ll never guess where\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai slaps his forehead. Of course.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sakura Mall has a little concourse with a town history section. Sora\u2019s dad says it was an agreement for tearing down a bunch of old buildings to plop down the mall, a huge movie theatre and a big, multi-level parking lot.<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2019re the only ones in the hallway, Tai slowly floating from display to display, headphones over his ears. Sora keeps reading the same placard over and over, one about a shoemaker, but he hasn\u2019t taken any of it in. He groans in frustration, then walks over behind Tai, who takes way too long to notice. He pulls his headphones off.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you listening to?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d Tai looks uncomfortable. \u201cUh, nothing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2026 wear headphones as an accessory?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai shoots Sora an exasperated look.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI listen to music most of the time, I just\u2026 I forgot I was wearing them. People\u2026 usually don\u2019t talk to you if you\u2019re wearing headphones.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you not want me to talk to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026 I mean, yeah, of course I do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He\u2019s not trying to pick a fight, not with this guy he\u2019s known for less than a couple of days and absolutely adores.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about it,\u201d Sora waves his hand dismissively. \u201cI was wondering, do you want to go to the fireworks festival together?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm.\u201d Tai nods his head, and nervously reaches out to take Sora\u2019s hand, so he leans in and they kiss. When Sora opens his eyes, smiling at Tai, his eyes catch the word \u201cRose\u201d in a photograph depicting a pile of books on a newspaper page in a display case behind his\u2026 not boyfriend, but maybe not not-boyfriend.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

They know what Mr. Watanabe\u2019s book looks like.<\/span><\/p>\n

It takes the rest of the afternoon and evening, but they make the arrangements. Tai calls in a favour with Mrs. Miyashita. Maybe all those haiku were good for something. She gets the contact info of Mr. Watanabe\u2019s daughter. Sora offers to make the call, but it\u2019d be confusing to explain who he is, so Tai summons up the courage to make it, explaining who he is, what they\u2019re trying to do. The book is a mystery to the daughter, but she\u2019s heard all about Taiki the poet, and that Mr. Watanabe\u2019s ordered the book from Bizenkuni many times. She\u2019s just grateful Tai and his friends treat her father with kindness. She gives them permission to visit.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai and Sora stand at the door to Mr. Watanabe\u2019s suite. The whole residence has a slightly uncomfortable old people smell. Tai tries not to think about what the scents are made up of, so he makes a haiku as they wait for the door to be answered, counting the syllables in his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Forest breathes as one:<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Every leaf and creature<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Makes life together<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019ll have to remember that one. He imagines Sora reading it later and smiling, and smiles at the thought in return.<\/span><\/p>\n

The lock clicks and Mr. Watanabe squints at them from inside a darkened apartment.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTAIKI! YOU\u2019RE BACK!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora gives Tai a look, but he just shrugs. He told his\u2026 whatever they are\u2026 that the old man has dementia. He gets confused.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHello, Mr. Watanabe, may we come in?\u201d He has to repeat the request two more times before it gets through.<\/span><\/p>\n

The suite is sparse and surprisingly clean. Old-school: mats laid down on the floor. Other than the family photos, simple nature-themed artworks, a small bookshelf inset with a large fish tank. His daughter said Mr. Watanabe is actually Dr. Watanabe, a naturalist from a university in the city.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Watanabe, I wanted to show you something.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai holds his phone with a picture of the newspaper, as clear as they could get it. The black-and-white image from the photograph isn\u2019t clear enough to make out the author\u2019s name, it\u2019s just one book in a pile, but they can make out \u201cAshes of the Rose\u201d on the cover of a small hardcover book, clear as day.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr. Watanabe seems a little confused, a little agitated, but nods his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI HAVE A COPY AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE, LET ME SEE\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai and Sora look at each other in excitement, and then spend the next two hours searching every inch of Mr. Watanabe\u2019s suite. It\u2019s not on the bookshelf, or behind it, or under it. It\u2019s not in storage in any of his closets. They even look through the sparse kitchen cupboards, enough cutlery and dishes for a single person.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr. Watanabe eventually offers to make them some tea, so while he\u2019s putzing around in the kitchen they catch their breaths. Tai goes over and smiles at family photos on the kindly old man\u2019s shelf. Aside from books the shelves are lined with family photos\u2026 except one stands out. It\u2019s older, grainier, faded and oversaturated. Tai recognizes Mr. Watanabe from his\u2026 general Mr. Watanabe shape, same smile too. The other man\u2013or boy? neither of them can be older than eighteen\u2013has his long hair tied back; it looks like they\u2019re out camping or something, but there\u2019s just\u2026 something about the photo\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh. My. God,\u201d Sora gasps and points desperately at the fish tank, lost for words.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai looks where he\u2019s pointing, crouches down, then glances over his shoulder. They hear Mr. Watanabe humming in the kitchen, so Tai grabs the fish tank and shifts it carefully, jerking his head for Sora to stick his hand in the niche of the fishtank shelf. He pulls out a small, slim, hardcover book, barely bigger than his hand, with a faded forest-green cover, slick with condensation.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai watches Sora\u2019s face light up as he looks at the cover, and then falls as he opens it up. His eyes water up with tears. Tai walks around to look over his shoulder. The inside is mildewy or rotting, ruined from what must\u2019ve been years of condensation and water damage. Not a single word after the cover is legible. <\/span>Ashes of the Rose<\/span><\/i>\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sora runs over and locks his door. Last thing he needs is Shinsuke or Shinobu to walk in and see him, scar them for life. He\u2019s doing a different kind of livestream tonight.<\/span><\/p>\n

He runs back over to his bed where his phone is propped up against a pile of manga on his bedside table. \u201cYou should take your shirt off,\u201d he says, wolfishly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai gives him a dopey grin on the other end and slips his tee off. Sora\u2019s practically drooling. He should\u2019ve grabbed his laptop first: bigger screen.<\/span><\/p>\n

They were voice chatting after Tai\u2019s shift, and when Sora\u2026 somewhat suggestively said he was going to take off his pants and get comfortable, Tai went really, really quiet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWanna watch?\u201d Sora asked. Tai nodded his head emphatically.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora had turned the camera towards his closet and slowly undid the button on his jeans, taking his time to unzip them instead of just popping them open. He turned around and pushed the skinny jeans down his legs, bending over as he did so. He grinned to himself when he heard Tai mutter something to himself. Maybe he was making up a haiku about Sora\u2019s watermelon-red briefs. Sora imagined his\u2026 whatever Tai is to him\u2026 getting hard, the same way he did when they were pressed against each other on the walking bridge. He\u2019d popped at least a semi every time they kissed since. At least.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then he locked his door and flopped down back on his bed, feeling a little self-conscious about his legs, but Tai was enraptured on the other end.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019re you wearing\u2026?\u201d Sora points down.<\/span><\/p>\n

He feels like he can see Tai go red even in the soft glow of the lamp on his bedside table, a grainy video transmitted from Tai\u2019s phone to a receiver, coursing through a broadband network, shot out of a router and reconstituted on another phone across town. The only thing that would make it better is if Sora could do it to himself and land in Tai\u2019s bed to kiss him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai turns his camera down, almost dropping it. He\u2019s wearing a pair of loose pyjama pants. He\u2019s clearly enjoying the show.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOmigod,\u201d Sora gasps. He leans back against his bedroom wall and opens his legs, reaching down and lifting his big peach hoodie up so Tai can see the front of his briefs. His boner is tenting his underwear, so he pulls the front until it slips out of the left leg hole.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God\u2026\u201d Tai sighs. Sora swears he can see the tent in his pyjama pants bounce. \u201cYou\u2019re, um\u2026 pretty big.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a mouthful,\u201d Sora smirks and strokes himself. Without any prompting, he watches Tai\u2019s hand snake down his front, over his abs, dipping under the waistband of his pyjama pants and grasping himself. \u201cI wanna see your face too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai fumbles to lay the phone down on its side, on his bedside table, and it takes a couple minutes of adjustments before it\u2019s a decent landscape shot, getting enough of him in. Sora spends the whole time teasing him\u2026 in more ways than one.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan you take your hoodie off?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora seizes up, and Tai looks like he instantly regrets asking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, you don\u2019t have to\u2026 I just\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora exhales and then pulls his hoodie and tanktop off in one quick motion. His heart races when he sees Tai smile.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wish you were here\u2026 right now\u2026\u201d Sora says as he strokes himself for Tai, briefs still on, but they might as well not be for all they\u2019re covering.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMm, um, what would you do?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d start by getting those pyjama pants off you\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai takes the hint, and sprawls on his bed, completely naked, half lit by his bedside lamp. Sora admires his slim, muscular body, the generous treasure trail from his belly button to his surprisingly tidy bush of hair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019d run my tongue down your treasure trail\u2026 get between your legs\u2026 give you the best blowjob of your life\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He watches Tai unconsciously reach down and grasp his shaft. He\u2019s not too bad in that department either\u2026 although Sora doesn\u2019t exactly look forward to taking it.<\/span><\/p>\n

As if reading his mind, Tai asks, \u201cUm, do you\u2026 I mean, are you\u2026 do you\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora laughs at how flustered his\u2026 boyfriend-not-boyfriend is. \u201cTop or bottom?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai nods his head, looking embarrassed at even asking.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBottom,\u201d Sora lies.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to\u2026 you know\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora climbs up onto his knees, turning around on his bed and slides his briefs down his skinny little butt. He usually\u2026 doesn\u2019t get totally naked with guys, it was usually pretty quick and\u2026 informal with the boys in high school. Sexy but not really\u2026 intimate, romantic. He feels self-conscious, but smiles to himself and blushes when Tai lets out an audible moan.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to fuck me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God\u2026\u201d Tai moans again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora climbs around so he\u2019s still up on his knees but facing Tai now. Totally FansOnly pose, and from some of his audience\u2019s usual feedback\u2014and Tai\u2019s reaction\u2014Sora feels like he\u2019d do pretty well on that platform. He puts on a show, lets himself quietly gasp and groan for Tai. Stroking himself with one hand while the other roams his body, down over his thighs, up over his too-wide hips, teasing the little nipples on his scrawny chest. But then he stops thinking and gets lost in it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wish\u2026 I was there\u2026 too\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m close,\u201d Sora gasps.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMe too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou wanna\u2026 mm\u2026 together?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh fuck!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora falls backwards against the wall just as his dick erupts, strings of come shooting up over his tummy, up to his chest. He watches Tai writhe on his bed in the lamplight as he blows a huge load all over himself. Sora laughs quietly, it just keeps going, and he\u2019s never seen anything sexier than Tai coming to him coming, the other guy lost in the feeling. He\u2019s never seen Tai look so unguarded.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God\u2026\u201d Tai gasps, looking down at his hand, dripping with his pearly white seed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2026 made a mess\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou too\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai points at his face with his dry hand. Sora\u2019s confused, but then reaches up and feels a gob of come that splattered across his nose and cheek. He was so captivated by watching Tai, lost in the feeling as well, he didn\u2019t even notice. They both laugh, and Tai scrambles for his pyjama pants when someone calls out on the other end, asking if he\u2019s okay.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God\u2026 my dad\u2026 at least he didn\u2019t walk in\u2026 I would\u2019ve died.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAlways\u2026 <\/span>always<\/span><\/i> lock the door,\u201d Sora says sagely. \u201cUgh, so much for my makeup.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai hesitates from saying something, but Sora knows what he wants to say. <\/span>Why all the makeup?<\/span><\/i> He rolls his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, but you better not put on a single piece of clothing while I\u2019m gone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Tai agrees, but looks a little embarrassed, looking at his dripping hand. \u201cGonna grab a towel, though\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora slips on a pair of basketball shorts and, when the coast is clear, gingerly skips across the hallway to the bathroom. He\u2019s coming down; he wants nothing more than to curl up in Tai\u2019s arms, but getting back to him on video call is the next best thing. He removes his makeup quickly, scowling at his awkward, long, freckled face in the mirror before another stealthy run across the hallway.<\/span><\/p>\n

He kicks off the shorts halfway across the bedroom and flops down, naked, in his bed. Tai hasn\u2019t even adjusted the camera, it\u2019s still his head all the way down to his thighs, his dick still a little plump from their session. Tai smiles at him, and Sora can\u2019t help but smile back. They just sit there for a minute, not saying anything, basking in the glow of their phones.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI like your freckles.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora rolls his eyes again, but feels his heart beat faster too. He resists the urge to pull the blanket up over his shoulders, over his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do you always\u2026\u201d Tai points to his face.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora glares at him. Does he really have to ruin the moment? \u201cSo people don\u2019t comment on how much they like my freckles\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai\u2019s face falls, and Sora regrets saying it immediately. It was supposed to be a joke; much harsher tone than he meant to. \u201cSorry\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s just\u2026\u201d Sora gives an exaggerated sigh. \u201cI got teased about everything when I was a kid. You know, weight, freckles\u2026 other stuff. I\u2019d just rather\u2026 look like who I want to be, even if it\u2019s more work. A lot of me isn\u2019t who that person is, if that makes sense.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The oversized hoodie to cover up his freckled shoulders, scrawny body and weird hips. Makeup to contour and shape his face, at least appear flawless, trick everyone into thinking he\u2019s pretty.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about it,\u201d Sora says, waving the thought away. \u201cI was thinking\u2026 the night of the fireworks festival, my dad and brothers are going to be watching from our grandparents\u2019 house\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey usually just sleep over there,\u201d Sora grins. \u201cI\u2019ll\u2026 have the place to myself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai goes quiet, Sora thinks it’s so cute when he gets flustered.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, Sora\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Shinsuke calls Sora\u2019s name from the hallway, clearly getting closer. Sora screams that he\u2019s changing as he scrambles for his underwear. He didn\u2019t lock the door when he came back in, of course.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, I\u2019ve got to go! I\u2019ll see you after work tomorrow! We\u2019ll make plans!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSucks that it\u2019s your last day.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai nods despondently as he kicks the book propping up the orders shelf back in place. He\u2019s had this feeling in his chest all day, this dangerous fluttering. It makes him want to run\u2026 somewhere, away.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hiramatsu and the rest of the staff bought him a cake and threw him a big going away party for lunch. They all made up haiku about him. Some of them were pretty bad but some of them were\u2026 actually kind of beautiful. He\u2019s a little all over the place, he got a bit teary-eyed, which meant he got a lot of hugs, even from the supervisor whose name he still can\u2019t remember. Weird day.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou told Sora yet?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou gonna?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYup.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell me what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEXCUSE ME, I\u2019M HOPING YOU CAN HELP ME. I\u2019M LOOKING FOR A BOOK OF POETRY CALLED <\/span>ASHES OF THE ROSE<\/span><\/i>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai almost faints.<\/span><\/p>\n

He turns around slowly to see Sora and Mr. Watanabe standing on the other side of the orders desk counter. Sora looks way too perfect, giving Tai a brilliant grin. Mr. Watanabe is so small his elbows barely reach the counter.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI ran into Mr. Watanabe outside. He\u2019s looking for a book.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora winks at Tai. Tai wants to crawl into a hole and disappear.<\/span><\/p>\n

They go through the usual ritual, and just as Hiramatsu finishes, Mrs. Miyashita hustles over, tsking, a big pile of flyers in her hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere you are Kazuko,\u201d she says, taking his arm, but not before handing out flyers to the two employees and the pretty BL reviewer. \u201cThe retirement community\u2019s hosting a talent show the night of the fireworks festival! You should read some poetry, Taiki!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr. Watanabe\u2019s spine straightens, and he looks at Mrs. Miyashita as if he\u2019s never seen her before.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTAIKI? WHERE\u2019S TAIKI?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She gives him a profoundly concerned look and points at Tai. Mr. Watanabe squints at him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTAIKI?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mrs. Miyashita pats his arm, taking it in hers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Kazuko. You\u2019ve got your book on order, right? Let\u2019s get going, more stores to stop into, and these boys have stuff to do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She leads him away, but Mr. Watanabe glances back a couple more times, confused.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hiramatsu is pretending to be very interested in what\u2019s on the computer screen as Sora gives a <\/span>well that was weird<\/span><\/i> shrug.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did you want to tell me, Tai?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hiramatsu sighs, \u201cYou\u2019re all done here, Morikawa. Thanks for all your hard work, but you\u2019ve got stuff to do\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So they walk out of the mall, out along the path into the field, and Tai tells him.<\/span><\/p>\n

The August nights are getting shorter, the sun is already dipping toward the horizon, painting the sky in pinks and oranges, a deeper blush of dark blue creeping in from the east. He can\u2019t help thinking\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sun loses the day,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Grips at a lost horizon\u2013<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Unforgiving fall<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cUm,\u201d Sora says, his voice wavering, his eyes shimmering in the last of the day\u2019s light, \u201cwhy didn\u2019t you tell me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026\u201d Tai admits, feeling like he\u2019s going to be sick.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut you didn\u2019t just get an acceptance letter yesterday,\u201d Sora\u2019s voice is angry, or hurt, or both. He wipes furiously at his tears.<\/span><\/p>\n

Freckles, like stars, come. Tears of a lover, like rain: Inevitable.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why is he like this? Now <\/span>there\u2019s<\/span><\/i> five profound syllables.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan you say something?\u201d Sora asks, sniffing. \u201cAnything?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026\u201d Tai said he doesn\u2019t know why he didn\u2019t say anything about the move, but he actually does know why: \u201cI\u2026 I didn\u2019t know what would be worse\u2026 stopping with nothing before we even started, or ending with\u2026 everything we had\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow that\u2019s poetic,\u201d Sora scoffs, and turns around, his body shaking as he quietly cries. Tai doesn\u2019t know what to do. He wants to go over to him, but he feels like that would be cruel. So he just stands there.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora turns around; his makeup\u2019s a mess, his freckles showing through what\u2019s left on his cheeks. He gives a pained, unconvincing smile.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, college overseas. That\u2019s so cool. Good luck.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora turns away and runs, his oversized hoodie flapping in a breeze that picks up from the coast. Just before he disappears out of sight, a cat dashes across the path and disappears in the field, like it wasn\u2019t even there.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai stands there in silence for a moment, he reaches for his wireless headphones, taking them carefully in his hands to pull them up over his ears. Then, in one swift motion, he whips them off from around his neck and throws them at the ground, hard enough that some of the plastic cracks and shatters. He sinks down into a crouch, head between his knees, and watches tears fall off his cheeks, dotting the wood of the walking bridge.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are no words.<\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Peach petals paints pink<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>What was plain greens and browns,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>A gift of summer<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From behind a big pair of sunglasses, Sora glares at the haiku, sloppily scrawled on the side of the information kiosk in black marker with a little cartoon, spiky haired devil as the graffiti artist\u2019s signature. Still, definitely one of Tai\u2019s haiku. Sora liked it on Melon about a week ago, just after they met.<\/span><\/p>\n

He scowls, takes his face mask off, spits on his hand and tries to wipe away the poem.<\/span><\/p>\n

Damnit. Sharpie. Of course.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shinsuke and Shinobu take his arms from either side.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, big brother,\u201d Shinobu coos.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora has wanted to cry nonstop since Tai told him last night. He wanted to cry through the fireworks festival and into the start of the school year, when he is supposed to start working as an intern with his dad\u2019s company. He thought he would have an infinite amount of tears so he could cry until it stopped hurting, but instead he sobbed into a pillow for a bit, passed out, and woke up feeling flat. He wishes he had the energy to feel sad, or angry, but instead he just feels irritated and exhausted. His brothers got him out to the mall on orders of their father, who had no idea what else to do with a zombie, heartbroken eighteen-year-old.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to go in here,\u201d Sora says from underneath his mask as his brothers steer him into the Bizenkuni. It\u2019s not like anyone will be able to tell who he is. On top of the mask and big sunglasses, he\u2019s wearing one of Shinsuke\u2019s wide-brim caps, a pair of Shinobu\u2019s sweats and a ragged old black hoodie that actually fits him. He\u2019s not wearing an inch of makeup. It\u2019s not like Tai will be in the store; he\u2019s packing to leave that evening, the day of the frickin\u2019 fireworks festival.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know, big bro,\u201d Shinsuke says. \u201cBut someone needs to babysit you while we go buy our yukata.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hiramatsu waves from the orders desk, and Hidaka pokes his head out from behind it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou want us to buy you one, too?\u201d Shinobu asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want anything ever again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His brothers both sigh as they deposit him behind the orders desk. He plops down across from the big order shelf overladen with books and tries to ignore people who stare at the mysterious, masked, sulking teen squating miserably as they pick up their books.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hidaka\u2019s wedged in a cupboard underneath the desk, tapping away on his phone, himself hiding from any number of things, probably his nemesis, the floor supervisor. Hiramatsu\u2019s probably babysitting him too. This is what it\u2019s come to. Sora\u2019s being treated like a sullen teenage punk.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour phone\u2019s going off,\u201d Hidaka states, not even looking up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora\u2019s heart leaps for a second, thinking it might be Tai calling to\u2026 what? Confess his undying love? Tell Sora he\u2019s cancelled his flight? Yeah, right.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, it\u2019s just more notifications from his fans. He didn\u2019t do his weekly stream last night; he hasn\u2019t posted anything since before arriving at the bookstore yesterday. They probably think he\u2019s dead. Good.<\/span><\/p>\n

He heaves his phone across the little room, and it goes clattering against the order shelf. But even that reminds him about how he beamed Tai in the face\u2026 not even two weeks ago? He feels like he\u2019s lived an entire lifetime in those two weeks. Since last night.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hidaka and Hiramatsu both glance over, but the younger boy\u2019s playing a game on his phone, and Hiramatsu\u2019s doing swift business with special orders, the festival weekend is always super busy. When he needs to grab an order, Hiramatsu just steps around the phone, which is way too polite of him, and dumb of Sora to just leave it there, so he crawls over to grab it.<\/span><\/p>\n

The phone\u2019s sitting inches away from a little stack of papers wedged under one of the the uneven legs of the shelf. He reaches for the forest-green case, trying not to think of how it reminds him of Tai, when something catches his eye, a dedication at the front of a book: TO KAZUKO<\/span><\/p>\n

Where has he heard that name?<\/span><\/p>\n

He whips his sunglasses off and tears at his mask, slapping Hiramatsu\u2019s thick leg. \u201cWhat\u2026 What\u2019s Mr. Watanabe\u2019s first name?\u201d Sora gasps.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh? Uh, let me check.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora stares at the book, like it\u2019s going to phase out of existence if he stops. Even Hidaka\u2019s put his phone down, wondering what\u2019s going on.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWatanabe Kazuko,\u201d Hiramatsu states. \u201cHuh, he must\u2019ve given us his name years ago\u2026 What are you doing?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora\u2019s trying to lift the shelf and pull the book out, but it\u2019s heavy and the big shelf wobbles as he struggles with it. Books go clattering to the floor, but he doesn\u2019t care. Hidaka, sensing the opportunity for chaos, hops up to help while Hiramatsu desperately glances around for help.<\/span><\/p>\n

The book finally slips out and Sora cracks what\u2019s left of the ancient spine. The book\u2019s so old the binding glue cracks and flakes off, there\u2019s a huge indent from where the shelf\u2019s been resting on it, and it\u2019s bent and scuffed from a generation of feet kicking it into place. The slim collection of coverless pages is the perfect fit for the uneven shelf leg. He flips the book open and tears well up in his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Empty room, gray wall,<\/span><\/i>\u201d Tai mutters to himself as he tapes up the final box. Some of it\u2019s going into storage, some of it\u2019s getting shipped over to his aunt\u2019s house in LA. His dad\u2019s downsizing, so he\u2019s clearing out everything. All that\u2019s left is a couple of suitcases, his backpack, and a phone in a forest green case that he hasn\u2019t touched all day, it\u2019s not even charged. He\u2019s afraid that if he checks it he\u2019ll find a message from Sora. He\u2019s even more afraid that there\u2019ll be no message.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Shape of an old life in here,<\/span><\/i>\u201d he continues. He hates this one already, there\u2019s no way he\u2019s writing it down.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll packed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His dad smiles sadly from the doorway, and Tai just nods, turning and handing him the last box. His dad turns to take it to the living room, where the movers will be picking everything up. Last stop of the day.<\/span><\/p>\n

He stands in the middle of the room, it\u2019s late afternoon, the sun\u2019s not quite setting yet, but in a couple of hours it\u2019ll be dark. A couple more and fireworks will be popping in the sky, reflected off the water, lighting up the entire region in brief flashes. He\u2019ll be at the airport by then. A breeze tugs at the curtains, making them flutter. This isn\u2019t even his room any more. It\u2019s empty, nothing but an old double bed and a cheap fibreboard desk.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>That season\u2019s passed now.<\/span><\/i>\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t even remember saying goodbye to a couple of neighbours. Suddenly it\u2019s darker and he\u2019s sitting in the passenger seat of his dad\u2019s car. The street lamps have just lit up and flash by and they drive toward the highway. He\u2019s glad his dad isn\u2019t saying anything. He doesn\u2019t have anything to say either.<\/span><\/p>\n

The car trundles down the road, the mall glowing in the distance. The festival\u2019s already in full swing, the streets closed up, lined with stalls, lit in the soft glow of lanterns strung across the walkways, people in robes or just normal street clothes sampling stall food, playing games, laughing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He glances over at his dad, who shakes his head.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, just thought I saw your name painted on one of the street signs, but it said \u2018Hisakawa Taiki.\u2019 False alarm\u2026 What? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Someone\u2019s calling his name.<\/span><\/p>\n

He hears it, muffled and a little distant. He glances around and sees someone running along the side of the road, waving his hands.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s Hiramatsu and he\u2019s crying out\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTAIKI! LOOK UP, YOU IDIOT! LOOK UP!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Another sign is coming up with something spray painted on it, fresh enough that it\u2019s still dripping. The writing\u2019s messy, almost illegible, but it says\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

LEAF GREEN ON SKY BLUE<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

He wrote that. Well, not the spray paint, his writing is neater. But that\u2019s one of his haiku.<\/span><\/p>\n

Another sign looms as they near the highway.<\/span><\/p>\n

OLD RIVER THROUGH THE FOREST<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Tai?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His breath is fogging the passenger side window, he\u2019s practically flattening his face against it as he fumbles for the button to put it down. Wind fills the car, catching his hair, but he sees it\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

TWO TREES–<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Hidaka leaps up and down in front of the sign, crowing madly, hooting and screeching to the night sky.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStop the car.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStop!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His dad pulls off on the side of the road and Tai throws himself bodily out, tumbling out of the passenger side and scrambling to his feet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI gotta go to the festival!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His dad calls after him, but Hidaka\u2019s dancing ahead of him on the roadside, limbs flailing in every direction.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI LOVE YOUR POEMS!\u201d Hidaka calls after him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYOU ACTUALLY WROTE \u2018HUSBAND RIVER\u2019 OR SOMETHING ON THE SECOND SIGN!\u201d Tai calls back over his shoulder. \u201cBUT YOUR WRITING\u2019S GETTING BETTER!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Further on, Hiramatsu is wheezing and waves him on down the road.<\/span><\/p>\n

He runs through the field and over the footbridge, under the powerlines and across the road. He hops a cement barrier and dodges his way through the full external parking lot. Then he\u2019s in the middle of the street festival, panting for breath, getting some strange looks from the crowd, and he has no idea what to do now. He doesn\u2019t have his phone, even if it was charged. Even if he could get a phone, he doesn\u2019t know Sora\u2019s number.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you to our very own Regional Amateur Kabuki Troupe for that stirring reenactment, the mystical story of the heroic duo: Golden\u2606Lovers.\u201d He hears Mrs. Miyashita\u2019s voice float over the crowd. \u201cI never learned that story in school, very beautiful.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He begins to dodge his way through the crowd.<\/span><\/p>\n

By the time he gets there, he\u2019s surprised to see, of all people, Mr. Watanabe stepping up to the microphone. The old man is wearing a deep green yukata, so large on his small body he\u2019s swimming in the fabric. Tai stops, horrified that he\u2019s about to watch Mrs. Miyashita tackle old Mr. Watanabe off stage, but he opens a small forest green book and clears his throat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is a poem by someone who\u2019s very special to me,\u201d Mr. Watanabe says. He\u2019s screaming at his usual volume, but whoever\u2019s doing the sound was clearly warned, so he actually sounds somewhat normal from the speakers. A feat of audio engineering. \u201cEven though he\u2019s gone, I\u2019m reminded of his words every day.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Then he reads:<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ashes of the rose,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>We walked the old path and you told me<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Even as old empires crumble<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>And the sun sets on us<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Something continues,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Something must continue,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>You apologized for the haiku,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>You said it wasn\u2019t your best work<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>I said every moment of time<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Every atomic interaction<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>In the infinite<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Led to that night by the river,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Improbably<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>A handful of syllables<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>And two hearts<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Beating<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>The same blood<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Elements forged in the stars,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>That\u2019s what you told me<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There\u2019s a smattering of subdued applause, no one\u2019s quite sure what to make of it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai\u2019s got to get to the stage.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mrs. Miyashita claps her hands in surprise when she spots him, but then looks concerned when he stops in front of her, taking heaving breaths of air. She asks him if he wants a glass of water; he asks her if he can go up on stage.<\/span><\/p>\n

So he suddenly finds himself standing a foot away from a microphone, drenched in sweat, with a few hundred pairs of eyes on him, waiting for him to speak. He has nothing in front of him, no phone, no paper, nothing\u2019s coming to mind. His worst nightmare.<\/span><\/p>\n

He takes a step forward and clears his throat, and he hears it echo over the festival. There\u2019s a few coughs and an uncomfortable shifting in the crowd.<\/span><\/p>\n

He can\u2019t do this.<\/span><\/p>\n

But he still has to.<\/span><\/p>\n

He feels himself flush, and he squeezes his eyes closed, and the first few words tumble out of his mouth unintelligibly\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Not a great start.<\/span><\/p>\n

He opens his eyes and sees Mr. Watanabe with the other old folks in the front row. The old man is beaming up at him, and gives him thumbs up. He sees the little green book tucked under the old man\u2019s arm.<\/span><\/p>\n

He clears his throat again.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A constellation,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Your face is the sky, bright blue,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Or dark as night<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I could sit and stare,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>I could map every star,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>I could still want more<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I have never<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Written a poem like this,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>I\u2019ve had no need<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But where the river<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Meets the sky, and forest leaves<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Brush the water<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

That\u2019s where we meet,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>Your bright sky, my clumsy words,<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span><\/i>My sky, my love<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He stops, squeezes his eyes shut, then opens them. The crowd seems to be waiting for something else, or wondering if Tai\u2019s done.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, as if it were planned, Tai sees a break in the crowd at the back. Standing in a bright orange-pink yukata, the cloth decorated with peach blossoms, Tai can tell even at a distance, freckles smattering his face, is the most beautiful person in the world that he\u2019s ever seen.<\/span><\/p>\n

And he\u2019s smiling.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are no words.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cHisakawa Taiki,\u201d Tai wonders out loud, sitting between Mr. Watanabe and Sora on the bench. \u201cTaiki the poet.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He holds the copy of <\/span>Ashes of the Rose<\/span><\/i>. The old interior, wedged under a bookshelf, is cradled in the water damaged, time-faded forest green hard cover recovered from Mr. Watanabe\u2019s apartment.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy dad\u2019s uncle,\u201d Sora says. \u201cI mean, my great uncle, even if it\u2019s not by blood, but still.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was there the whole time\u2026 I saw it every day, but I just never actually <\/span>saw<\/span><\/i> it\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDad said there was probably a box of remainders from the old publishing house.\u201d Sora shrugs. \u201cThe bookstore probably used leftover or damaged copies they couldn\u2019t sell for scrap paper.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe used this to keep our shelf from wobbling\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He gently closes the book and hands it to Mr. Watanabe, who holds it reverently in his hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI loved Taiki very much,\u201d Mr. Watanabe whispers\u2026 although at his volume it\u2019s pretty much just normal speaking. \u201cWe spent one summer together before I went to school, and he went off to be a poet. He\u2026 left his manuscript, but by the time it was published he\u2019d\u2026 accident\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai reaches over and takes the old man\u2019s gnarled, spotted hand, gives it a squeeze. The old man looks at him, then Sora, nods and stands. He tucks the book into his robe, turns to them and gives a polite bow, then wanders back into the crowd.<\/span><\/p>\n

As the fireworks start to pop and sizzle over the water, the crowd around them buzzing with excitement, Sora leans his head on Tai\u2019s shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about your flight?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God,\u201d Tai groans in horror. \u201cMy dad\u2026 I gotta\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLeave it to Hiramatsu,\u201d Sora murmurs, watching the fireworks light up their entwined hands.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, flights can be rebooked. I\u2026 needed to be here. I should\u2019ve\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They lapse into silence and just watch.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI liked your poem,\u201d Sora teases, and Tai groans in horror again. “Were you freestyling?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Yup,” Tai groans in embarrassment again. “Was it bad? It was bad, wasn’t it?”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it was super romantic.” Sora bends his neck and kisses Tai’s shoulder. “Most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me. You used \u2018I.\u2019 I thought it was a waste of space.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai gives a gentle shrug.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cModern haiku aren\u2019t really like the traditional ones,\u201d he says. \u201cAnyways, you break rules to write them. I guess \u2018I\u2019… had to be in that one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai\u2019s back straightens, and Sora lifts his head and turns towards his\u2026 whatever they are. They share a kiss as the crowds <\/span>ooh<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>ahh<\/span><\/i> around them, appreciating the shifting, ephemeral explosions of constellations high above them. Their lips part. Tai\u2019s blushing, so Sora gives him another quick kiss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not wearing makeup.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora gives his own gentle shrug.<\/span><\/p>\n

They sit together and watch the fireworks, hand in hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, so your family are\u2026 out for the night?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tai notices something\u2019s wrong almost right away.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once they get Sora\u2019s yukata and underclothes off, Tai strips down and hops into bed with him. Sora tells him to use a lot of lube, but no matter how much he pours onto his\u2026 just dripping, rock-hard hard-on, Sora still seems stiff, uncomfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, keep going.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai sits back, and Sora flops forward on his bed, skinny butt sticking straight up, and grumbles in frustration. It doesn\u2019t feel good for either of them, he can tell that much.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh, do you actually like\u2026 that?\u201d Tai asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora sighs, and flops over onto his side. \u201cYeah. I mean\u2026 Ugh. Guess I\u2019ve just always been the bottom. Never really was about liking it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora seems uncomfortable, Tai feels like he\u2019s hurting him no matter how many times Sora says he\u2019s fine. They lie like that for a moment, Tai\u2019s not sure what to do at first, but then he gets an idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you\u2026 want to maybe\u2026 put yours\u2026 in mine?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora glances over his shoulder, and there\u2019s a look in his eye. \u201cHand me a condom\u2026 and the lube.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He shivers as Sora takes his legs and puts Tai\u2019s ankles up over his shoulders. He feels vulnerable but\u2026 sexy, and the hungry look on Sora\u2019s face is giving him butterflies in his stomach.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShould I\u2026 um\u2026 do anything?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora looks up from pouring an obscene amount of lube onto his dick. \u201cSo you\u2019re going to want to breathe, and just, like, relax\u2026 as much as you can.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai nods as Sora lines his dick up with Tai\u2019s butt.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God, you have such a hot ass\u2026\u201d Sora murmurs as Tai feels something press against his hole. He yelps, but then says he\u2019s fine, just surprised. He starts taking deep breaths. \u201cKinda\u2026 relax, but also push against it with your hole.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai moans, and then slaps his hands over his mouth. Sora smirks. \u201cThick walls,\u201d he growls. \u201cYou can make all the noise you want. I\u2019m going to go really slow\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He whimpers as Sora slides into him. He thought the other guy, his\u2026 whatever-they-are\u2026 was using way too much lube before, but now he realizes no amount of lube is too much. Still\u2026 it hurts but in a weirdly\u2026 good way? When he realizes Tai\u2019s bottomed out in him, dick pressed all the way in, balls pressed against Tai\u2019s cheeks, he feels full and\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMmm, oh fuck\u2026\u201d Tai groans. Then Sora pulls out slightly, and presses back in. \u201cOh God, oh God\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGood?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026 mm, yes\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora presses into him, and Tai couldn\u2019t contain his moans even if he wanted to. He feels so hot and\u2026 slutty. He realizes with some surprise that he\u2019s losing his virginity, and he\u2019s doing it with the hottest guy in the world. There\u2019s something so incredibly sexy about the way that Sora is bracing himself over Tai, smiling down at him. He leans in and nibbles Tai\u2019s neck, and he can\u2019t help but let his legs wrap around Sora\u2019s hips, throw his arms around Sora\u2019s shoulders.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna go slow, okay?\u201d Sora groans as he pulls his dick out, then slides it in again. Even if he can\u2019t fully relax, the resistance feels crazy good.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026 you\u2026 you don\u2019t have to\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora smirks and pulls out, then pushes into Tai a little harder and faster. Tai\u2019s arms and legs contract around the other guy, tight, and he moans.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, maybe a little more lube.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Soon Tai finds himself flipped over, Sora\u2019s hands on his hips, bucking in and out of him from behind, and it just feels good. He\u2019s getting pounded, and he feels so hot and dirty, he loves it. Why would he ever need to be on top? Except\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCan I\u2026\u201d he moans. \u201cCan I ride you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Then Sora\u2019s underneath him, hands roaming up and down Tai\u2019s front, teasing his nipples. Tai can\u2019t even speak any more. He never wants to stop impaling himself on Sora\u2019s hot, thick dick.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re so fucking sexy,\u201d Sora groans, and that\u2019s all it takes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai moans, and watches a string of come splatter over Sora\u2019s abs. It keeps coming, more on his tummy, some splatters on his chest, or else bounces up to splatter his own abs.<\/span><\/p>\n

He feels something warm between his legs, and he suddenly feels even fuller. Neither of them can speak, so he leans down and their lips meet, Sora\u2019s arms wrapped around his shoulders this time, pulling him against him, their sweat and mess between them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually they break the kiss, and Tai realizes he hasn\u2019t been breathing. Sora laughs, gasping for air, and gently lowers Tai backward, dexterously moving with him as he slowly slides out of Tai\u2019s ass. He can feel the slick of lube between his cheeks and thighs. Sora looks down at him, and Tai is utterly blissed out, but manages to pull him in for another kiss. Sora delicately pulls the condom off and tosses it across the room into a trash basket with a practiced ease. So cool.<\/span><\/p>\n

They lay together opposite-ways on the bed like that, heads at the end and feet on the pillows, Sora wrapped in Tai\u2019s arms, sticky and sweaty and naked and in love.<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, after they catch their breaths, just laying there listening to one another breathe, Tai says, \u201cYou could\u2026 come and visit me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Sora says. \u201cI will.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019ll be back.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd we can talk all the time\u2026 I know–\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora\u2019s lips meet his, and he melts into the kiss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Tai. I mean, it\u2019s not, but\u2026 you know, it\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They lay there like that for awhile, listening to the lively summer night without, beautiful even as the season wanes. They kiss occasionally, but otherwise just lay in each other\u2019s arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Tai goes quiet, but just for a second. He thinks about what he wants to say\u2026 and it\u2019s five syllables.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe could go again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sora grins. Tai smiles. They kiss.<\/span><\/p>\n

They make poetry.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/i>Love9<\/span><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by H.P. Lovecock (\u529b\u3002\u4e0b\u3002\u611b\u3061\u3093\u3061\u3093) illustrated by TOFU+BEAST Tai doesn\u2019t look at himself in the mirror as he gets dressed. \u201cFirefly flickers\u2026\u201d he murmurs to himself, seeing how the words feel as his mouth forms them. He lopes over to his laptop, pants half up his legs, shirt pulled over his head, but he hasn\u2019t gotten […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[751,425],"tags":[626,723],"class_list":["post-10922","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bangbang-no-100","category-text","tag-h-p-lovecock","tag-tofubeast"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10922","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10922"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10922\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10978,"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10922\/revisions\/10978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10922"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10922"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shousetsubangbang.com\/mirror\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10922"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}