The Very Gay Football Affair

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The Very Gay Football Affair is a story written by Renaissance Makoto J.. It ran in Issue 58 at, and is mirrored at


Ulysses Hawke is the Man from D.A.D.D.Y., a secret organization of highly-trained men and women. D.A.D.D.Y. agents are dedicated to preventing the evil organization T.H.R.U.S.T. from taking over the world. Together with his handsome and brilliant Russian partner, Misha Kozlov, Ulysses must stop the greatest leaders in the world from being brainwashed. While he's at it, he has to rescue a footballer with poor communication skills, keep Misha from making out with mysterious scientists, and figure out why time itself seems to be broken.

From "This one is about a secretive spy group and their attempt to save the world from a very specifically shaped weapon, and also from bad editing. It was wonderful and absurd and absurdly wonderful."

Author's Notes[edit]

Welcome to a rip-roaring parody of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. I'm a fan of the original show, but not so much the new movie. As a guide for anyone curious about how this parody lines up with the show: Ulysses is a much more foolish Napoleon Solo; Misha is a much more brilliant Illya Kuryakin; and T.H.R.U.S.T., of course, is T.H.R.U.S.H., an organization that makes as much sense in this parody as it does in the original show. I really only changed one letter, and very little else. Esteban is our Innocent, a requirement for any U.N.C.L.E. story, and Spare is just exposition and a "hot without glasses" joke.

Now, U.N.C.L.E. is a beloved show and fandom, and I feel like I might be stepping on toes without mentioning that I love the show. I even love it for all the many, many things that are wrong with it. For anybody out there who feels a bit mad at me, please know that this was written with true affection for the show, and also with my tongue wedged in my cheek. This apology is pretty much why I am editing a wiki for the first time in my life. So...there's that.