The Envelope, Please

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The Envelope, Please is a story written by Tsukizubon Saruko. It ran in Issue 35 at, and is mirrored at


From "a teen star gets off with a much older actor at the Oscars."

"Rental," was the first thing Col managed to gasp when he finally separated their mouths, wheezing into Gary's, "rental, rental, god damn you, rental."

The message sunk in eventually, and Gary paused, actually easing up a blessed little bit on where he'd been grinding Col's back into the elaborate backstage scaffolding. "...Wait, it is? Seriously?" He drew back a few more inches, to where he could run a critical eye down the front of Col's tux. ...Lingering in certain places more than others, and Col tried and failed not to blush. He probably looked like he'd stuffed one of the stupid statuettes down his pants. "Pardon me, but you know, I'm an old man, I forget things sometimes, maybe you can remind me how much it was that Thanksgiving at the Reynolds' grossed on its first weekend. Something like 40 million, wasn't it?"